Bangs and Feathers

Tonight's Daily 5 is coming shortly, but I thought I'd show you my new hair cut.  I hadn't had my hair cut in probably 8 months, and was WAY overdue, and so I booked an appointment at a new salon, using a livingsocial deal I bought a while ago, and hoped for the best.  I have crazy thick hair, that can't decide if it wants to be curly or straight (the only reason it even tries for straight is because of the weight of all of it), and haven't always had great luck with stylists being able to manage it.  I'm really pleased with how the appointment went tonight, I'm loving the way my hair looks at the moment, and I'll definitely be going back to this stylist since she's about $60/visit cheaper than the only other stylist I've found in the city who can successfully manage my hair!

So, I have bangs for the first time in a decade:

And I totally splurged a little (like a $10 splurge) and had her put a purple feather in as well, to match my new purple specs:

Daily 5 - Day 261

Today's Daily 5:

1. Wearing my hair curly for the first time since I got it highlighted with a bunch of red again the other day.
2. A very much needed, long, lazy morning in bed
3. Spent about 8 hours with a friend from high school (saw a movie, did some shopping, went out for dinner, and walked for a while in my favorite park)
4. Having surprising conversations of a whole new level of depth with this long-time friend
5. Walking in my favorite park
6. bought a great new top, and a pair of black dress pants for work, both on sale
7. Really laughed at lot at the new J-Lo film "The Back-Up Plan"
8. Movie theatre popcorn.  With butter.
9. A hug from my friend
10. Setting up times to get together with some other friends and family over the next week or two, and knowing I'll get to collect hugs on most of those occasions as well.

Daily 5 - Day 258

So, pretty much the last thing I feel like doing tonight is writing a list of any length at all of things that made me smile, or things I'm grateful for.  As days goes, this one really stunk.  Basically none of the things I would have liked to have happen did.  And I got some bad news concerning my car that likely means that I'll be back to having no car within the next week or two, probably semi-permanently (like for the next couple years).  More on that tomorrow, I'm busy trying not to think about it tonight.

So, anyway, these are the good things from today, however many I can scrape up, and actually, a day like this is probably the day it's most important for me to do this exercise anyway:

1. The antacid I took for whatever was going on with my stomach again this morning seemed to work.  I didn't feel good, but I could at least function for the day.
2. It was "pass out paystubs" day at work.  This is one of the best 10 minutes of every two week cycle of work for me.  Everyone is glad to see me on this day.  And I get such jovial thank you's from everyone when I drop off a piece of paper that says there will be money appearing in their bank account the following day.
3. The one thing that worked as planned tonight was I did make it to my hair appointment.  And I have these fabulous new highlights in a couple shades of blond and a coppery red.  And styled hair, which means, whatever tomorrow holds, I'm going to look nice for it.  I'll try and take a picture, or have someone take one for me tomorrow.
4. I got a hug from L. while I sobbed my eyes out in overwhelmed exhaustion after work.
5. I bought a new purse that I'm pretty excited about.
6. I really love my new iphone.  It was so cool to be able to check emails and facebook on the train, and at the mall tonight.
7. Even amidst all the sucky stuff, once I stopped sobbing I was able to just sit and let myself find some perspective, and even some things to be thankful for as life throws me yet another loop.
8. Because I'm having my hair put up for the wedding, my hairdresser just thinned it, and didn't cut it tonight after she colored it.  She recommended leaving it long for the girl who's putting it up.  That means that I have another hair appointment booked for in about three weeks time.  Sweet.  Next to massages, appointments with my hairdresser (and maybe pedicures) are my absolute favorite form of relaxation and pampering.
9. Because I have a medical appointment tomorrow morning, I have the morning off work and can sleep in by about an extra hour and a half.
10. I figured out how to connect my new phone to the free wi-fi in the mall.
11. I realized today that it's only about 2 more months until the U2 concert that I have tickets to!

Grey

After writing this morning about the morning posts full of random information seem to clear my head and make space for inspiration, I feel like I should be showing up here this afternoon with something profound to say.

The truth is this:  It's been snowing all day, I'm still not feeling well, coffee with my friend is likely off so he doesn't have to trek across the entire city in rush hour traffice and snowy roads, and these things combined, are leaving me less than inspired.

It is windy and snowy and wet outside, and in about an hour I'll make the 15 or so minute walk through that weather to the train.  I'll take the usual two trains to get to mom and dad's house, pick up my car, and head for the mall, wherein I'll be finding something that seems palatable as a supper option, and getting my hair done.

And somehow, in this grey weather, I'm okay with uninspired. 

I'll get pampered a little at the hair salon.

I'll find something I really enjoy to eat, even if I can't manage to eat very much of it.

I'll probably play with my new phone (I'm on a mission to update the calendar and contacts in it, and also to find a "to do list app" that I'll like and be able to use easily.)

I might read a bit more of Sara Miles' "Jesus Freak".

And I'll rest.

Because inspiration seems a stretch on a day like this, but rest and finding joy in some little things despite the greyness seems somehow attainable.

In other news...

I was thinking that these random morning posts are becoming something like an exercise a bunch of my artistic friends used to do.  It was from a book by Julia Cameron, and called morning pages.  The whole idea was that if you started out your day by simply sitting down and writing 3 pages of just whatever was on your mind - shopping lists, things you're thinking about - whatever, then this regular practice stirred creativity.  I actually find that by stopping here and writing down the random things on my mind, I feel more free to really write at other times.  Like writing down the random things creates space for the deeper things stirring within me.

I'm sipping green tea and hoping it will calm my stomach.  I woke again with a terrible stomach-ache and heartburn.  It's been happening every few months, for no discernible reason.

It's raining outside and they're promising it will turn to a whole pile of snow by tonight.  Last week it was 20C and I was wearing skirts and capri pants to work.  Today we have a "winter storm warning" in effect.  Only in Calgary.

Actually, I blame my dad for the snow.  Everytime he leaves the country it snows.  Doesn't seem to matter what time of year it is.  He and mom are enjoying poolside weather in Phoenix with my aunt and uncle this week.  And we're having snow.  It's just how it works, I guess.

Yesterday's plans to have coffee with a long-time friend were postponed to today.  I'm hoping they happen today, anyway.  He can be a little bit flaky.  (He's actually forgotten that he was my ride home from somewhere.  Twice.)  But he's a great friend, the one who was with me on that odd night nearly five years ago now when my depression was healed so suddenly and unexpectedly.  And I hope I get to see him.  I could use some time right now with the kind of friend who has all the details.  Who's been around through it all, and we can just talk honestly with each other.  And a hug.  I could use a hug from that kind of friend too.

Last night, after months of deliberation and research, I joined the cult of iphone, and I'm quite looking forward to discovering all the fun things it will let me do.  I had thought that I was going to need to wait another six months, until my current phone contract expired, and then switch phone companies, as a different company had far better rates.  But, I called my phone company, and negotiated, and they decided customer loyalty (I've been with them for years) was worth rewarding, and comfortably matched the price the other company was offering.  So, I took the plunge, and I think I'm going to love it.

I also have a hair appointment tonight.  The annual getting other fun colors added to my existing natural state appointment.  I only do it once a year or so, because it's expensive, but it's always fabulous.  Getting my hair done and being pampered at the salon I use is right up there with getting a massage for me.  So relaxing and it makes me feel beautiful and feminine.  (Plus, being able to treat myself well, without feeling guilty for it, was on one of my lists of goals for this year, so any appointment like this is a step in the right direction.)

And with that, I'm off to dive into the stuff the day will require.

Back later!

Daily 5 - Day 190

Today's Daily 5:

1. Wore new earrings to work today.
2. Love the feeling of my hair the day after I get it cut, when it's still flat-ironed and pretty.
3. Got a ride to house church tonight and was able to be with friends.
4. My friend Renee Altson is making a list of 5 things she's grateful for as a Lenten practice.  I love the idea of this daily list being a part of a Lenten journey.  Check out her first list here, and go back often - her blog is great!  (And, as a side note, if you haven't read her book, you need to.  I read it for the first time at a time in my life when I was absolutely convinced that I was maybe the only person in the world who was trying to follow Jesus but was struggling with some pretty huge issues, including mental health stuff.  Renee's book helped me to see that I wasn't alone.  It was probably at least 5 years ago that I read it for the first time, and I've re-read it at least once a year since.  It is one of maybe two or three books that I will list if asked what books besides the Bible have profoundly shaped my faith journey over the last number of years.)
5. Thankful for some moments of very early morning prayer, and song lyrics playing through my thoughts today.

Daily 5 - Day 139

Today's Daily "5":

1. My cheques finally arriving in the mail.  Since they were supposed to be here well over a week ago, and I was needing to write some first of January cheques for a few people (including my rent!) I was getting a little nervous and scheming about backup plans.
2. Straightening my hair on my own for the first time - not stellar results, but not bad either.
3. Lunch and shopping with a friend from high school
4. new sweater - suitable for work or casual wear
5. instructions from dad on what little items I need to purchase before he shows me a few things about maintaining George later this week
6. watching a movie while I worked on a bunch of stuff tonight
7. finally being able to write postdated rent cheques to our landlords and leave them for pick up - so nice to have that item off of my list
8. really enjoying having the house to myself this week that I'm off while L. is out of town
9. laughing at little ironies
10. thankful that the cold I've caught (quite a few people were sick at Christmas) has for the moment stayed in the mild annoyance range, instead of becoming a problem.
    

Daily 5 - Day 133

Today's Daily "5":

1. Pumpkin cookies that I baked last night.  I forgot how good those things are.  May have to keep a few of those instead of giving them away.
2. A really quick, simple chicken recipe (with roasted green beans) for supper that was so tasty
3. An hour of laughing and chatting with my hairstylist while she made me hair look great again.  I love chatting with her.  Such random conversations, but always lots of laughing.
4. Only 1/2 day of work left until holidays :)
5. sticking to my budget, even in the face of an awesome sale tonight.
6. (Bonus tonight!) Walking next to the air ambulance helicopter when it landed on the nearby helipad.  Which would have been cool anyway, but was totally a crazy experience thanks to the feet of snow everywhere that the rotor blades kicked up.  Instant white-out conditions, and man did that snow sting as it pelted into my face at high speed.
   

New Hair

I spent two and a half hours getting my hair done this afternoon. Not the best picture ever, but it'll do. It'll only be straight for a couple of days, since I've never mastered the art (or necessary coordination) of using a straightener myself.

I love my hair stylist. I've been seeing her for quite a few years now, and she always does a fantastic job. More importantly, I can have a totally general idea of what I want done, and she'll run with it and leave me feeling beautiful.

I showed up today and simply said that I wanted the red and blond highlights back for the summer. She, as usual, had a better idea, picked out three colors (including the red and blond, and another coppery blond) and two and a half hours later I had beautiful hair again.

Sunday, mid-afternoon

I made it to the part of the day where I'm almost ready to move around.

And then I moved around.

And discovered that the hike I did yesterday was quite a bit harder on my body than I thought. Let's just say that walking is a bit of a challenge today.

I spent the morning doing a bit of laundry and cleaning, but mostly just sitting and writing.

I was part of a conversation at the office the other day that unexpectedly left parts of me feeling quite shaken. Even I was surprised at the things that poured out of my pen as I sat with my journal.

I told a friend this morning that "when it rains, it pours." It seems like so many unexpected parts of my heart are suddenly at the forefront again. And I've got to tell you, that while I'm glad to be wading through some of this, it hasn't been any "walk in the park". And, every once in the while, when the processing is so thick and intense, I just get sick of myself and the things I'm walking through. I wish for healing to have come fully.

So, today, today I'm thankful for roommates off hiking, and a quiet house.

And I'm thankful that on a day when I badly need a brainless break and some pampering, I have a hair appointment (made through a fluke cancellation) for a couple of hours of pampering, and cutting and coloring this afternoon.

And then, later tonight, I get to collect hugs from my parents. I'll pick them up at the airport, arriving home from their trip to West Africa. I'm looking forward to those hugs. For as much as there are oh so many challenges in my relationship with my parents, after the few weeks I've had, I'll be enormously happy to collect hugs from people who love me deeply.