I spent probably three hours tonight sitting with my journal and writing.
it's helped a little. I feel a bit lighter, less discombobulated for the moment, and ready for rest.
goodnight.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Trapping the Little Steel Balls
It’s been an odd sort of day.
I’m distracted and somewhat unfocused.
My head is spinning.
A dozen voices and directions, rattling around inside of me.
I’m glad there’s only one work day left.
And that it’s a long weekend.
And that my roommate is working at her second job for most of the long weekend.
I’ll have the house to myself.
Time to sleep.
To clean.
To read.
To bake.
To think.
And to write.
I need to spend some time writing.
Clear some of the clutter in my head.
Put it on paper where it’s tangible and I can begin to absorb it.
My mind feels like one of those children’s games.
The ones with all the tiny little steel balls, that roll around until they rest in their little slots.
I need the thoughts rolling around my head to rest.
Each in their own little slot.
Peace restored.
I’m distracted and somewhat unfocused.
My head is spinning.
A dozen voices and directions, rattling around inside of me.
I’m glad there’s only one work day left.
And that it’s a long weekend.
And that my roommate is working at her second job for most of the long weekend.
I’ll have the house to myself.
Time to sleep.
To clean.
To read.
To bake.
To think.
And to write.
I need to spend some time writing.
Clear some of the clutter in my head.
Put it on paper where it’s tangible and I can begin to absorb it.
My mind feels like one of those children’s games.
The ones with all the tiny little steel balls, that roll around until they rest in their little slots.
I need the thoughts rolling around my head to rest.
Each in their own little slot.
Peace restored.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Making Me Smile (July 30 Edition)
Time for another edition of things that I'm thankful for (things that are making me smile):
- quiet moments of deep peace and a knowing of the nearness of Jesus
- new shoes
- memory of some comments made to me recently that are very humorous to me, though the people who've made them couldn't have realized how humorous they are
- all the little secret things that remind me of dear friends, deep moments, and spur me to pray
- plans to eat Mexican food at a great restaurant for dinner tonight with a friend
- a forthcoming visit to a bookstore - I love bookstores. And books. Which can be found in abundance in bookstores.
- a quiet heart
- an unexpectedly low grocery bill last night - apparently if you do meal planning and a very accurate list, it costs you significantly less money when you grocery shop.
- conversations with friends near and far
- knowing I am loved
- flip-flop tan lines on my feet
- Hershey's Kisses with Almond
- an oil burner for my bedroom that lets me make the room smell fantastic
- another work day nearly ended.
See ya later!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
What comes...
I'm sitting here, sipping tea, and wondering what will come... what this day will bring... I feel particularly uncertain for a variety of reasons today... nothing large and spectacular, just dozens of small things converging to create a wondering, a slight dis-ease...
There were quiet moments of deep beauty last night. Much needed after a fit of panic spurred by changing plans and events. A meeting with Jesus, and a quieted, cleansed and restful heart.
This morning I'm reminding myself of those moments. Of how needed they were. Of the fact that, for an hour or two Jesus drew tangibly near, not in that "he's always with me" sort of way, but in that "he holds me intimately" kind of way.
So I'm sitting here, sipping tea and trying to rest in the peace gleaned in those moments. I'm waiting for what comes...
There were quiet moments of deep beauty last night. Much needed after a fit of panic spurred by changing plans and events. A meeting with Jesus, and a quieted, cleansed and restful heart.
This morning I'm reminding myself of those moments. Of how needed they were. Of the fact that, for an hour or two Jesus drew tangibly near, not in that "he's always with me" sort of way, but in that "he holds me intimately" kind of way.
So I'm sitting here, sipping tea and trying to rest in the peace gleaned in those moments. I'm waiting for what comes...
Monday, July 28, 2008
Read this - Ripped Open
I loved this post on Hope's blog, particularly the last couple of paragraphs, which I've quoted below for you. They reminded me of some deep and ongoing conversations I've had with the Lord and with a dear friend these last several months.
She writes:
One thing I especially appreciate about this priest is his emphasis on a heart relationship with Christ. He often talks about the emptiness of praying, attending Mass, receiving the Sacraments without those things coming out of a heart relationship.
Today, as he was emphasizing that point, I gazed at a statue of the Sacred Heart Of Jesus. Often when I look on it I remember a day when I felt like Jesus told me he wanted my heart open, exposed and touching his. It wasn't a pleasant image - more like my chest had been ripped open and Jesus then grabbed me by the front of my shirt and pulled me close so his exposed heart could mingle with mine. I don't exactly know how the cause and effect of that translates into daily life, but I continue to find that image a comfort, a challenge and something to ponder every time I gaze upon His face.
She writes:
One thing I especially appreciate about this priest is his emphasis on a heart relationship with Christ. He often talks about the emptiness of praying, attending Mass, receiving the Sacraments without those things coming out of a heart relationship.
Today, as he was emphasizing that point, I gazed at a statue of the Sacred Heart Of Jesus. Often when I look on it I remember a day when I felt like Jesus told me he wanted my heart open, exposed and touching his. It wasn't a pleasant image - more like my chest had been ripped open and Jesus then grabbed me by the front of my shirt and pulled me close so his exposed heart could mingle with mine. I don't exactly know how the cause and effect of that translates into daily life, but I continue to find that image a comfort, a challenge and something to ponder every time I gaze upon His face.
This Caught Me Today...
I received the following lines from Henri Nouwen in my usual daily email this morning. the second paragraph particularly caught my attention. "The ups and downs of our spiritual lives depend on our obedience - that is, our attentive listening - to the movements of the Spirit of God within us." I've been on a journey of learning the deep truth of these words in this last season. It is not a simple, nor an easy or painless lesson to learn. And yet, I am slowly beginning to grasp the truths contained within it. I pray that that continues.
The Dynamics of the Spiritual Life
Our emotional lives and our spiritual lives have different dynamics. The ups and downs of our emotional life depend a great deal on our past or present surroundings. We are happy, sad, angry, bored, excited, depressed, loving, caring, hateful, or vengeful because of what happened long ago or what is happening now.
The ups and downs of our spiritual lives depend on our obedience - that is, our attentive listening - to the movements of the Spirit of God within us. Without this listening our spiritual life eventually becomes subject to the windswept waves of our emotions.
The Dynamics of the Spiritual Life
Our emotional lives and our spiritual lives have different dynamics. The ups and downs of our emotional life depend a great deal on our past or present surroundings. We are happy, sad, angry, bored, excited, depressed, loving, caring, hateful, or vengeful because of what happened long ago or what is happening now.
The ups and downs of our spiritual lives depend on our obedience - that is, our attentive listening - to the movements of the Spirit of God within us. Without this listening our spiritual life eventually becomes subject to the windswept waves of our emotions.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Reasons to Smile
It's been a hard week, but today has provided some reasons to smile, and for those I'm grateful. Mostly little things, things that would perhaps mean nothing to anyone but me, but I'm clinging to them in these moments, and I thought I'd share them with you.
- a conversation that began yesterday, and continued past midnight into today. a dear friend listening and waiting and praying as I moved from a very dark space into a safer and more restful one.
- wearing a new tank top, purchased, of all places, at the grocery store last night for only $5.
- fun earrings, purchased last week at the Tibetan shop in Eau Claire Market, while shopping with a dear friend.
- an hour sitting on my back deck, in the sun, writing this morning
- a massage this morning, and somewhat relaxed back and neck muscles because of that
- a phone call from my best friend, inviting herself over to spend the evening with me
- the sense of accomplishment in hanging a new photo on the wall in my bedroom (purchased from the farmer's market) and a blind for my window, by myself
- shelves (shortened this morning by my dad) in the nook in my kitchen
- showering the sunscreen and massage oil off my skin after a full day
- the scent of my favorite perfume, lightly sprayed onto my neck and wrists, lingering in the air around me
- purchasing an oil burner, and a number of beautifully scented oils to put in my bedroom
- great deals at the local christian bookstore, which closes in just under a month
- six new books, 1 cd and 1 dvd as a result of those deals
- feeling pretty
- knowing that I finished writing some thoughts that have desperately needed to be given expression
- chocolate, oranges, and almonds
- the sense of satisfaction that comes from knowing that I have made a tiny victory today by successfully doing something small that has long been a thing fraught with fear in my life
- getting a particular photograph of myself - one that reminds me of some deep and important things - printed so that I can place it someplace I'll see it often
A Prayer
I'm not entirely sure that I'm okay with the fact that a reporter pulled the written prayer of Barack Obama from the spot where he left it at the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem, but there is a simple beauty in the in prayer that I appreciate deeply.
You can see it here.
You can see it here.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Reasons to Read Blogs
I read blogs to see what other people are thinking about, feeling, hearing, listening to, reading and doing. I'm invariably challenged by the things I read, and often hear the Lord whispering to various parts of my heart in the midst of reading those things...
Here are some bits and pieces that caught my attention this morning...
Ali Edwards linked to this book preview. "How to be an Explorer of the World." I liked paging through the preview and will probably order the book when it releases.
Brian Heasley shared these challenging words from Rick Warren.
And Hope posed the question that has rattled around my soul this morning. "Could you just get as weary of me as I am?" A question that reminded me of many recent moments, and a tribute to her spiritual director that reminded me of a dear friend of mine, one to whom I could easily have posed this question many times in this season.
These are only some of the things bouncing around a very full and active mind this morning, and I'm beginning to hope that words may once again take form, and I'll have new writing to offer you sometime soon.
In the meantime, enjoy the thoughts and ideas offered up by the community of blogs scattered around the world that I read on a daily basis.
Here are some bits and pieces that caught my attention this morning...
Ali Edwards linked to this book preview. "How to be an Explorer of the World." I liked paging through the preview and will probably order the book when it releases.
Brian Heasley shared these challenging words from Rick Warren.
And Hope posed the question that has rattled around my soul this morning. "Could you just get as weary of me as I am?" A question that reminded me of many recent moments, and a tribute to her spiritual director that reminded me of a dear friend of mine, one to whom I could easily have posed this question many times in this season.
These are only some of the things bouncing around a very full and active mind this morning, and I'm beginning to hope that words may once again take form, and I'll have new writing to offer you sometime soon.
In the meantime, enjoy the thoughts and ideas offered up by the community of blogs scattered around the world that I read on a daily basis.
Another Thought from Henri
I needed to hear this thought from Henri Nouwen this morning...
Digging Into Our Spiritual Resources
When someone hurts us, offends us, ignores us, or rejects us, a deep inner protest emerges. It can be rage or depression, desire to take revenge or an impulse to harm ourselves. We can feel a deep urge to wound those who have wounded us or to withdraw in a suicidal mood of self-rejection. Although these extreme reactions might seem exceptional, they are never far away from our hearts. During the long nights we often find ourselves brooding about words and actions we might have used in response to what others have said or done to us.
It is precisely here that we have to dig deep into our spiritual resources and find the center within us, the center that lies beyond our need to hurt others or ourselves, where we are free to forgive and love.
Digging Into Our Spiritual Resources
When someone hurts us, offends us, ignores us, or rejects us, a deep inner protest emerges. It can be rage or depression, desire to take revenge or an impulse to harm ourselves. We can feel a deep urge to wound those who have wounded us or to withdraw in a suicidal mood of self-rejection. Although these extreme reactions might seem exceptional, they are never far away from our hearts. During the long nights we often find ourselves brooding about words and actions we might have used in response to what others have said or done to us.
It is precisely here that we have to dig deep into our spiritual resources and find the center within us, the center that lies beyond our need to hurt others or ourselves, where we are free to forgive and love.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Things Not to Say Out Loud When You Work for Mennonites
I passed a few uncomfortable moments at coffee break this morning. The topic of Catholicism and mass came up, and we talked a bit about some of the traditions. I love the beauty of liturgy and mass, and without thinking about what I was saying before I said it, made the first comment that came to mind. I said that I felt it was quite likely that I would one day convert to Catholicism.
The looks on the faces of the three co-workers with whom I was chatting were rather priceless. Shock, followed quickly by horror and disgust.
I forget that others see the Catholic church differently than I do.
Another coworker who had been listening as the four of us talked stopped by my desk on his way out for lunch. “Big ‘C’ Catholic or small ‘c’ catholic?” he asked before going on to inform me that if we throw out anything that’s been added to church tradition by papal edict since 1060 AD we’d be okay, because then we’d essentially have the “new testament church.”
Sigh.
Another lesson in things not to say out loud when you work for a tiny Mennonite insurance company.
The looks on the faces of the three co-workers with whom I was chatting were rather priceless. Shock, followed quickly by horror and disgust.
I forget that others see the Catholic church differently than I do.
Another coworker who had been listening as the four of us talked stopped by my desk on his way out for lunch. “Big ‘C’ Catholic or small ‘c’ catholic?” he asked before going on to inform me that if we throw out anything that’s been added to church tradition by papal edict since 1060 AD we’d be okay, because then we’d essentially have the “new testament church.”
Sigh.
Another lesson in things not to say out loud when you work for a tiny Mennonite insurance company.
The Oldest Bible and Earthquakes
Some headlines catching my attention today...
World's Oldest Bible Goes Online
Strong Quake Jolts North Japan, 107 Hurt
Powerful Aftershocks Hit China Quake Area, 1 Dead
World's Oldest Bible Goes Online
Strong Quake Jolts North Japan, 107 Hurt
Powerful Aftershocks Hit China Quake Area, 1 Dead
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
What We Feel is Not Who We Are - Henri Nouwen
What We Feel Is Not Who We Are
Our emotional lives move up and down constantly. Sometimes we experience great mood: swings from excitement to depression, from joy to sorrow, from inner harmony to inner chaos. A little event, a word from someone, a disappointment in work, many things can trigger such mood swings. Mostly we have little control over these changes. It seems that they happen to us rather than being created by us.
Thus it is important to know that our emotional life is not the same as our spiritual life. Our spiritual life is the life of the Spirit of God within us. As we feel our emotions shift we must connect our spirits with the Spirit of God and remind ourselves that what we feel is not who we are. We are and remain, whatever our moods, God's beloved children.
Our emotional lives move up and down constantly. Sometimes we experience great mood: swings from excitement to depression, from joy to sorrow, from inner harmony to inner chaos. A little event, a word from someone, a disappointment in work, many things can trigger such mood swings. Mostly we have little control over these changes. It seems that they happen to us rather than being created by us.
Thus it is important to know that our emotional life is not the same as our spiritual life. Our spiritual life is the life of the Spirit of God within us. As we feel our emotions shift we must connect our spirits with the Spirit of God and remind ourselves that what we feel is not who we are. We are and remain, whatever our moods, God's beloved children.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Home
I'm home, showered, and resting.
The need for sleep is great.
I'm praying the intensity will fade, and deep rest will come.
The need for sleep is great.
I'm praying the intensity will fade, and deep rest will come.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Almost Done
I'm 2.5 hours from finishing work until next Wednesday.
From tomorrow through Tuesday I'll be out of town, spending time in the mountains, and with friends.
I'm ready to be done work for the day. (Though there's much left to be accomplished before I can leave.)
A dear friend arrives from out of town today. She'll meet me here at the office at the end of the workday.
We'll enjoy an evening together in my new home, visit the farmer's market tomorrow morning, and then head for the mountains.
Blogging will be minimal or non-existent. Have a great weekend!
From tomorrow through Tuesday I'll be out of town, spending time in the mountains, and with friends.
I'm ready to be done work for the day. (Though there's much left to be accomplished before I can leave.)
A dear friend arrives from out of town today. She'll meet me here at the office at the end of the workday.
We'll enjoy an evening together in my new home, visit the farmer's market tomorrow morning, and then head for the mountains.
Blogging will be minimal or non-existent. Have a great weekend!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Catching My Eye
These articles caught my attention today...
HIV Travel Ban May End Soon
Homeless Population Jumps
Mental Illness Lacks Awareness
HIV Travel Ban May End Soon
Homeless Population Jumps
Mental Illness Lacks Awareness
Being Given - Henri Nouwen
Another thought from Henri Nouwen
Being Given
Jesus is given to the world. He was chosen, blessed, and broken to be given. Jesus' life and death were a life and death for others. The Beloved Son of God, chosen from all eternity, was broken on the cross so that this one life could multiply and become food for people of all places and all times.
As God's beloved children we have to believe that our little lives, when lived as God's chosen and blessed children, are broken to be given to others. We too have to become bread for the world. When we live our brokenness under the blessing, our lives will continue to bear fruit from generation to generation. That is the story of the saints - they died, but they continue to be alive in the hearts of those who live after them - and it can be our story too.
Being Given
Jesus is given to the world. He was chosen, blessed, and broken to be given. Jesus' life and death were a life and death for others. The Beloved Son of God, chosen from all eternity, was broken on the cross so that this one life could multiply and become food for people of all places and all times.
As God's beloved children we have to believe that our little lives, when lived as God's chosen and blessed children, are broken to be given to others. We too have to become bread for the world. When we live our brokenness under the blessing, our lives will continue to bear fruit from generation to generation. That is the story of the saints - they died, but they continue to be alive in the hearts of those who live after them - and it can be our story too.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Being Seen
I have a friend who often challenges me to allow myself to be "seen". To let those close, and those not so close see who I truly am, to live from the deep places of my life. It is never an easy request when she asks it of me.
Sometimes I allow myself to be seen, and it backfires. I remember then why it is a challenge, and why it is so easy to wear masks. I remember why self-protection has become an artform.
This photo is of an impossibly deep moment that happened a few weeks back. My roommate unexpectedly captured it on film. I'm not going to put words around this moment for you. I'm not going to tell you why there are many important things unspoken in this photo. The photo both makes me cringe, and makes me smile from a very deep place. It exposes the deep places in me, and lets me be seen.
I'm thankful for the friend who continues to encourage me to allow myself to be seen.
I'm reminding myself of the need to continue to do that.
And I'm reminding myself that it is okay to let Jesus see me too. (He does anyway.) But from Him there won't be judgement, and my bruised heart needs that today.
Sometimes I allow myself to be seen, and it backfires. I remember then why it is a challenge, and why it is so easy to wear masks. I remember why self-protection has become an artform.
This photo is of an impossibly deep moment that happened a few weeks back. My roommate unexpectedly captured it on film. I'm not going to put words around this moment for you. I'm not going to tell you why there are many important things unspoken in this photo. The photo both makes me cringe, and makes me smile from a very deep place. It exposes the deep places in me, and lets me be seen.
I'm thankful for the friend who continues to encourage me to allow myself to be seen.
I'm reminding myself of the need to continue to do that.
And I'm reminding myself that it is okay to let Jesus see me too. (He does anyway.) But from Him there won't be judgement, and my bruised heart needs that today.
Noah's Blog (and other thoughts)
I came across this link this morning to "Noah's Blog". It made me laugh. I needed a laugh today.
I'm in the midst of trying to sort through some heavy and deep stuff yet again. Feeling quiet, fearful, tired. You'll have to bear with me if the posts come less often, are less personal, and tend to direct you to read something else. I'll come around eventually. In the meantime, enjoy the things links to things that make me laugh, or make me think, or both.
I'm in the midst of trying to sort through some heavy and deep stuff yet again. Feeling quiet, fearful, tired. You'll have to bear with me if the posts come less often, are less personal, and tend to direct you to read something else. I'll come around eventually. In the meantime, enjoy the things links to things that make me laugh, or make me think, or both.
Being Broken - Henri Nouwen
another thought from the Henri Nouwen society...
Being Broken
Jesus was broken on the cross. He lived his suffering and death not as an evil to avoid at all costs, but as a mission to embrace. We too are broken. We live with broken bodies, broken hearts, broken minds or broken spirits. We suffer from broken relationships.
How can we live our brokenness? Jesus invites us to embrace our brokenness as he embraced the cross and live it as part of our mission. He asks us not to reject our brokenness as a curse from God that reminds us of our sinfulness but to accept it and put it under God's blessing for our purification and sanctification. Thus our brokenness can become a gateway to new life.
Being Broken
Jesus was broken on the cross. He lived his suffering and death not as an evil to avoid at all costs, but as a mission to embrace. We too are broken. We live with broken bodies, broken hearts, broken minds or broken spirits. We suffer from broken relationships.
How can we live our brokenness? Jesus invites us to embrace our brokenness as he embraced the cross and live it as part of our mission. He asks us not to reject our brokenness as a curse from God that reminds us of our sinfulness but to accept it and put it under God's blessing for our purification and sanctification. Thus our brokenness can become a gateway to new life.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Rubble
Last night I had the same dream I’ve had several nights in a row now. The only difference is that on waking this morning enough fragments remained for me to consciously put words around what I’d been dreaming.
I’ve been dreaming of rubble. Acres of it in every direction. Rock and stone and concrete. Shattered. Desolate and grey. The remnants of what once was, now leveled, only uneven ground remaining. There were people picking their way across it, sometimes people I knew, sometimes myself. In a moment reminiscent of jerky documentary footage, I watched as a couple I know walked together. The “camera” in my mind zoomed in as they walked, surveying the destruction, and reaching for each other’s hands. That last image of their clasped hands as they moved on.
I passed the night in that space somewhere between waking and sleeping. Not fully present in either my own reality, or that of my dreams. Aware of my bedroom, of the space around me, but aware too of moving through this field of rubble, and watching as others navigated that same space.
The dreams are slowly intensifying again. Coming more frequently and vividly. I’m never sure if they should be welcome, or an object of regret. They simply are. A strange and vivid reality of my existence. Sometimes understood, and sometimes remaining in the grey and cloudy realm of confusion.
I’ve been dreaming of rubble. Acres of it in every direction. Rock and stone and concrete. Shattered. Desolate and grey. The remnants of what once was, now leveled, only uneven ground remaining. There were people picking their way across it, sometimes people I knew, sometimes myself. In a moment reminiscent of jerky documentary footage, I watched as a couple I know walked together. The “camera” in my mind zoomed in as they walked, surveying the destruction, and reaching for each other’s hands. That last image of their clasped hands as they moved on.
I passed the night in that space somewhere between waking and sleeping. Not fully present in either my own reality, or that of my dreams. Aware of my bedroom, of the space around me, but aware too of moving through this field of rubble, and watching as others navigated that same space.
The dreams are slowly intensifying again. Coming more frequently and vividly. I’m never sure if they should be welcome, or an object of regret. They simply are. A strange and vivid reality of my existence. Sometimes understood, and sometimes remaining in the grey and cloudy realm of confusion.
Being Blessed - Henri Nouwen
Being Blessed
Jesus is the Blessed One. When Jesus was baptised in the Jordan river a voice came from heaven saying: "You are my Son, the Beloved; my favour rests on you" (Mark 1:11). This was the blessing that sustained Jesus during his life. Whatever happened to him - praise or blame - he clung to his blessing; he always remembered that he was the favourite child of God.
Jesus came into the world to share that blessing with us. He came to open our ears to the voice that also says to us, "You are my beloved son, you are my beloved daughter, my favour rests on you ." When we can hear that voice, trust in it, and always remember it, especially during dark times, we can live our lives as God's blessed children and find the strength to share that blessing with others.
Jesus is the Blessed One. When Jesus was baptised in the Jordan river a voice came from heaven saying: "You are my Son, the Beloved; my favour rests on you" (Mark 1:11). This was the blessing that sustained Jesus during his life. Whatever happened to him - praise or blame - he clung to his blessing; he always remembered that he was the favourite child of God.
Jesus came into the world to share that blessing with us. He came to open our ears to the voice that also says to us, "You are my beloved son, you are my beloved daughter, my favour rests on you ." When we can hear that voice, trust in it, and always remember it, especially during dark times, we can live our lives as God's blessed children and find the strength to share that blessing with others.
Becoming Food for the World - Henri Nouwen
Becoming Food For the World
When Jesus took bread, blessed it, broke it, and gave it to his disciples, he summarized in these gestures his own life. Jesus is chosen from all eternity, blessed at his baptism in the Jordan River, broken on the cross, and given as bread to the world. Being chosen, blessed, broken, and given is the sacred journey of the Son of God, Jesus the Christ.
When we take bread, bless it, break it, and give it with the words "This is the Body of Christ," we express our commitment to make our lives conform to the life of Christ. We too want to live as people chosen, blessed, and broken, and thus become food for the world.
When Jesus took bread, blessed it, broke it, and gave it to his disciples, he summarized in these gestures his own life. Jesus is chosen from all eternity, blessed at his baptism in the Jordan River, broken on the cross, and given as bread to the world. Being chosen, blessed, broken, and given is the sacred journey of the Son of God, Jesus the Christ.
When we take bread, bless it, break it, and give it with the words "This is the Body of Christ," we express our commitment to make our lives conform to the life of Christ. We too want to live as people chosen, blessed, and broken, and thus become food for the world.
A Time to Receive and a Time to Give - Henri Nouwen
A Time to Receive and a Time to Give
It is important to know when we can give attention and when we need attention. Often we are inclined to give, give, and give without ever asking anything in return. We may think that this is a sign of generosity or even heroism. But it might be little else than a proud attitude that says: "I don't need help from others. I only want to give." When we keep giving without receiving we burn out quickly. Only when we pay careful attention to our own physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs can we be, and remain, joyful givers.
There is a time to give and a time to receive. We need equal time for both if we want to live healthy lives.
It is important to know when we can give attention and when we need attention. Often we are inclined to give, give, and give without ever asking anything in return. We may think that this is a sign of generosity or even heroism. But it might be little else than a proud attitude that says: "I don't need help from others. I only want to give." When we keep giving without receiving we burn out quickly. Only when we pay careful attention to our own physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs can we be, and remain, joyful givers.
There is a time to give and a time to receive. We need equal time for both if we want to live healthy lives.
Another Full Week
I missed most of the day of work on Friday when I went home ill.
I came back to the office this morning to find that the stack of work on my desk had multiplied mysteriously over the weekend. It will take a great deal of efficiency, planning, and hard work to accomplish everything that must be done in the four days that I’m working this week.
Last night was good. Dinner with good friends. (Great food if I do say so myself!) Then a trip to a local ice cream parlor, and a short walk by the river, below the dam, in a spot I’ve never been before, despite living near it for nearly my entire life.
I had my lights out shortly after 11:00 p.m. I can’t remember the last time I was in bed with the lights out that early.
I slept poorly, waking often, disturbed by dreams. Not quite present in either reality or the world of my dreams. Living somewhere in between.
I have a burn blister, about ½ inch long and ¼ inch wide on my left forearm. A cooking incident last night. It’s ugly, but surprisingly not painful for the moment.
This promises to be another full week.
Grocery shopping and household stuff with my roommate tonight.
A tea date with a dear friend who I see rarely since she lives in another province tomorrow night.
Wednesday night will hopefully be slower. Again, some last household things so that we’re fully settled in our new home.
And Thursday another dear friend arrives from out of town. We’re headed for the mountains for a few days on Friday morning.
I came back to the office this morning to find that the stack of work on my desk had multiplied mysteriously over the weekend. It will take a great deal of efficiency, planning, and hard work to accomplish everything that must be done in the four days that I’m working this week.
Last night was good. Dinner with good friends. (Great food if I do say so myself!) Then a trip to a local ice cream parlor, and a short walk by the river, below the dam, in a spot I’ve never been before, despite living near it for nearly my entire life.
I had my lights out shortly after 11:00 p.m. I can’t remember the last time I was in bed with the lights out that early.
I slept poorly, waking often, disturbed by dreams. Not quite present in either reality or the world of my dreams. Living somewhere in between.
I have a burn blister, about ½ inch long and ¼ inch wide on my left forearm. A cooking incident last night. It’s ugly, but surprisingly not painful for the moment.
This promises to be another full week.
Grocery shopping and household stuff with my roommate tonight.
A tea date with a dear friend who I see rarely since she lives in another province tomorrow night.
Wednesday night will hopefully be slower. Again, some last household things so that we’re fully settled in our new home.
And Thursday another dear friend arrives from out of town. We’re headed for the mountains for a few days on Friday morning.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Full Weekend
This has been a busy weekend.
I'm stealing a few quiet minutes, propped against pillows on my newly assembled bed, in my newly settled bedroom, to write and think.
My house has this delightful smell of ginger and garlic running through it. I'm making honey-garlic pork roast for a group of friends who are coming for dinner. Shortly I'll head back to the kitchen and prepare potatoes, steamed carrots, and a salad to go with the pork roast.
Just to give you a sampling of how this weekend has gone, here is a list of some of the things I've done today:
I'm stealing a few quiet minutes, propped against pillows on my newly assembled bed, in my newly settled bedroom, to write and think.
My house has this delightful smell of ginger and garlic running through it. I'm making honey-garlic pork roast for a group of friends who are coming for dinner. Shortly I'll head back to the kitchen and prepare potatoes, steamed carrots, and a salad to go with the pork roast.
Just to give you a sampling of how this weekend has gone, here is a list of some of the things I've done today:
- shopped for groceries
- put some last items away in our house
- washed a couple loads of dishes (some by hand and some in the dishwasher)
- reorganized a couple of kitchen cupboards so that we have better access to some things we use regularly
- attended a Stampede Breakfast with my roommate
- driven my roommate to work
- gone to the bank to deposit a couple of cheques
- gone to the recycling depot to recycle the cardboard from our moving and bed-building projects
- visited a couple of garden centres in search of some plants and herbs for our garden
- gone to Home Depot to purchase shelves for a pre-existing nook in our kitchen
- gone to the dollar store to pick up a few needed items for our house
- fueled my car
- got the oil changed in my car
- cleaned up our patio table and chairs in preparation for dinner tonight
- prepared, marinated, and started to bake a pork roast
Friday, July 11, 2008
Bed Complete
After four hours, much laughter, a few curse words, an emergency phone call to my dad, breaks for food and to catch bits and pieces of TLC programs on television, I have a bed. Tomorrow will bring a humorous recounting of the evening, and a complete rearranging of my furniture.
Good night!
Good night!
Day of Rest
I only lasted at work for about 2 hours this morning.
I was feeling really ill, probably should never have gone in in the first place, but needed to learn a new process for some data entry I'm helping with, from someone who will be on holidays next week.
I came home and slept for about two hours. Now I'm feeling a bit better. I'm hanging out on the couch watching a bit of television, continue to rest.
It would seem that today was a forced day of rest, and I'm somewhat glad for that.
I'll pick my roommate up from the train later this afternoon, we'll cook together, and hopefully assemble the bed I bought last weekend.
Tomorrow and the rest of the weekend are going to be low key. I've got things to do around the house. The need to finish settling in. My aunt is coming over to help us hang artwork. I need to mow the lawn. I like nice, homey sorts of weekends. I've been on the run a lot the last several weeks and weekends, and it'll be nice to settle into our new house, to rest, to be simple and around the city and enjoy myself. To take it slow.
I was feeling really ill, probably should never have gone in in the first place, but needed to learn a new process for some data entry I'm helping with, from someone who will be on holidays next week.
I came home and slept for about two hours. Now I'm feeling a bit better. I'm hanging out on the couch watching a bit of television, continue to rest.
It would seem that today was a forced day of rest, and I'm somewhat glad for that.
I'll pick my roommate up from the train later this afternoon, we'll cook together, and hopefully assemble the bed I bought last weekend.
Tomorrow and the rest of the weekend are going to be low key. I've got things to do around the house. The need to finish settling in. My aunt is coming over to help us hang artwork. I need to mow the lawn. I like nice, homey sorts of weekends. I've been on the run a lot the last several weeks and weekends, and it'll be nice to settle into our new house, to rest, to be simple and around the city and enjoy myself. To take it slow.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Feet
Another article, (this time with new information), on the severed feet that have washed ashore in British Columbia over the last year, and so caught my attention.
Thursday. 9:43 a.m.
9:43 a.m.
I’m sitting at my desk, sipping tea.
Feeling a bit muddled again today.
Discombobulated.
Tired.
I’m making lists.
Things to do during the work day.
Things to do tonight, and on into the weekend.
Planning in my head.
Seeing how my bedroom will look once I’ve assembled my bed
Hung artwork
And finished unpacking.
The skies are grey again.
Cloudy and heavy.
It’s funny how often the skies
Seem to reflect my state of mind.
Passion tea
And chocolate kisses
With almonds inside.
All little ways that I pray.
The unspoken prayers
Of my heart.
A black cross
Four inches high is
Propped on my desk
Reminding me with
Bold white script
That I must
Trust.
Quiet
Tired
Discombobulated
Unspoken prayers
Spoken into the silence
It’s morning
A new day
And I am
Listening and waiting
I’m sitting at my desk, sipping tea.
Feeling a bit muddled again today.
Discombobulated.
Tired.
I’m making lists.
Things to do during the work day.
Things to do tonight, and on into the weekend.
Planning in my head.
Seeing how my bedroom will look once I’ve assembled my bed
Hung artwork
And finished unpacking.
The skies are grey again.
Cloudy and heavy.
It’s funny how often the skies
Seem to reflect my state of mind.
Passion tea
And chocolate kisses
With almonds inside.
All little ways that I pray.
The unspoken prayers
Of my heart.
A black cross
Four inches high is
Propped on my desk
Reminding me with
Bold white script
That I must
Trust.
Quiet
Tired
Discombobulated
Unspoken prayers
Spoken into the silence
It’s morning
A new day
And I am
Listening and waiting
Listening with our Wounds - Henri Nouwen
Listening With Our Wounds
To enter into solidarity with a suffering person does not mean that we have to talk with that person about our own suffering. Speaking about our own pain is seldom helpful for someone who is in pain. A wounded healer is someone who can listen to a person in pain without having to speak about his or her own wounds. When we have lived through a painful depression, we can listen with great attentiveness and love to a depressed friend without mentioning our experience. Mostly it is better not to direct a suffering person's attention to ourselves. We have to trust that our own bandaged wounds will allow us to listen to others with our whole beings. That is healing.
To enter into solidarity with a suffering person does not mean that we have to talk with that person about our own suffering. Speaking about our own pain is seldom helpful for someone who is in pain. A wounded healer is someone who can listen to a person in pain without having to speak about his or her own wounds. When we have lived through a painful depression, we can listen with great attentiveness and love to a depressed friend without mentioning our experience. Mostly it is better not to direct a suffering person's attention to ourselves. We have to trust that our own bandaged wounds will allow us to listen to others with our whole beings. That is healing.
Tending Our Own Wounds First - Henri Nouwen
Tending Our Own Wounds First
Our own experience with loneliness, depression, and fear can become a gift for others, especially when we have received good care. As long as our wounds are open and bleeding, we scare others away. But after someone has carefully tended to our wounds, they no longer frighten us or others.
When we experience the healing presence of another person, we can discover our own gifts of healing. Then our wounds allow us to enter into a deep solidarity with our wounded brothers and sisters.
Our own experience with loneliness, depression, and fear can become a gift for others, especially when we have received good care. As long as our wounds are open and bleeding, we scare others away. But after someone has carefully tended to our wounds, they no longer frighten us or others.
When we experience the healing presence of another person, we can discover our own gifts of healing. Then our wounds allow us to enter into a deep solidarity with our wounded brothers and sisters.
Read this
You should read this post on a blog I occasionally follow. It moved me deeply this morning.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Today...
Today…
I am wearing a vintage (retro?) cream colored blouse from South America, boldly embroidered with flowers in bright pinks, oranges and reds, over a cute lacey black tank top with jeans and black flip-flops. (Have I mentioned that the only good thing about Stampede is an entire week of casual days?) I’m also pondering the difference between vintage and retro, and wondering how to determine which category my blouse falls into. It was purchased in the seventies, likely in Colombia but possibly in Peru, by my dad, but was shrunk in the wash sometime about a decade ago, and found it’s way into my closet, where it is pulled out from time to time for those days when I either need to dress “western” or just want something a little bit bohemian and different.
I am wearing a toe-ring on my left pinky finger. It has three tiny silver butterflies on it, and it makes me smile and reminds me of some important things.
I phoned the telephone company and argued them into giving me a credit for the several days of phone and internet service that they didn’t provide to me last week. My next phone and internet bill will be $14 cheaper than usual.
I emailed someone about a lawnmower.
I invited my brothers to join some friend and family for dinner at my new house next week.
I left a phone message for my mom, checking if she’d confirmed that same dinner invitation with my dad, and asking her to email me the recipe I need so that we actually have something to eat that night.
I took the bus from my new house for the very first time.
I am wearing a "diamond" in my nose piercing.
I am listening to a playlist I made for a dear friend last fall, and enjoying the music I picked for her then.
I am sipping water from a plastic bottle, because the stainless steel one I wanted to buy was sold out at the natural food store when I stopped by there the other day.
I spent 20 minutes on hold with the local public transit authority, to have a two minute conversation about where I can catch the bus to get home tonight.
I am going to move some boxes belonging to my roommate (currently vacationing for a month in Europe) from our basement into her closet, to await her return.
I am going to collapse some of the boxes from moving that we’re keeping, and store them in our basement.
I am going to collapse the moving boxes we’re not keeping, and load them into the trunk of the car for a trip to the recycling depot in the next few days.
I am going to listen to another segment of a dramatized version of “The Voyage of the Dawn Treader” while I stick labels and stuff envelopes for most of the afternoon. I’m also going to try to stay awake while doing this task. I nearly fell asleep at my desk doing the same thing yesterday afternoon.
I’m going to eat either leftover chicken and couscous, or ichiban soup for supper.
I’m going to clean all the empty boxes out of our kitchen.
I’m going to phone our landlord to check on if there’s a smoke detector in our house somewhere that I’m not seeing, since our tenants insurance requires us to have a smoke alarm.
I’m going to bring my clean laundry upstairs from the basement where we hung it to dry on Monday night, and I’m going to fold the laundry that’s sitting in a chair in my bedroom.
I’m hoping to also bring all of my shoes and boots up from the basement, and settle them into either our hall closet or my bedroom closet.
I’m going to measure my bedroom window to see about getting blinds installed on the weekend.
I’m going to make a list of a few little things about our house that I need to ask my dad about.
I’m going to enjoy being productive, but I’m also going to scrap whatever I need to from this list in order to rest, enjoy the people I love, and make those things the priority in my life.
I am wearing a vintage (retro?) cream colored blouse from South America, boldly embroidered with flowers in bright pinks, oranges and reds, over a cute lacey black tank top with jeans and black flip-flops. (Have I mentioned that the only good thing about Stampede is an entire week of casual days?) I’m also pondering the difference between vintage and retro, and wondering how to determine which category my blouse falls into. It was purchased in the seventies, likely in Colombia but possibly in Peru, by my dad, but was shrunk in the wash sometime about a decade ago, and found it’s way into my closet, where it is pulled out from time to time for those days when I either need to dress “western” or just want something a little bit bohemian and different.
I am wearing a toe-ring on my left pinky finger. It has three tiny silver butterflies on it, and it makes me smile and reminds me of some important things.
I phoned the telephone company and argued them into giving me a credit for the several days of phone and internet service that they didn’t provide to me last week. My next phone and internet bill will be $14 cheaper than usual.
I emailed someone about a lawnmower.
I invited my brothers to join some friend and family for dinner at my new house next week.
I left a phone message for my mom, checking if she’d confirmed that same dinner invitation with my dad, and asking her to email me the recipe I need so that we actually have something to eat that night.
I took the bus from my new house for the very first time.
I am wearing a "diamond" in my nose piercing.
I am listening to a playlist I made for a dear friend last fall, and enjoying the music I picked for her then.
I am sipping water from a plastic bottle, because the stainless steel one I wanted to buy was sold out at the natural food store when I stopped by there the other day.
I spent 20 minutes on hold with the local public transit authority, to have a two minute conversation about where I can catch the bus to get home tonight.
I am going to move some boxes belonging to my roommate (currently vacationing for a month in Europe) from our basement into her closet, to await her return.
I am going to collapse some of the boxes from moving that we’re keeping, and store them in our basement.
I am going to collapse the moving boxes we’re not keeping, and load them into the trunk of the car for a trip to the recycling depot in the next few days.
I am going to listen to another segment of a dramatized version of “The Voyage of the Dawn Treader” while I stick labels and stuff envelopes for most of the afternoon. I’m also going to try to stay awake while doing this task. I nearly fell asleep at my desk doing the same thing yesterday afternoon.
I’m going to eat either leftover chicken and couscous, or ichiban soup for supper.
I’m going to clean all the empty boxes out of our kitchen.
I’m going to phone our landlord to check on if there’s a smoke detector in our house somewhere that I’m not seeing, since our tenants insurance requires us to have a smoke alarm.
I’m going to bring my clean laundry upstairs from the basement where we hung it to dry on Monday night, and I’m going to fold the laundry that’s sitting in a chair in my bedroom.
I’m hoping to also bring all of my shoes and boots up from the basement, and settle them into either our hall closet or my bedroom closet.
I’m going to measure my bedroom window to see about getting blinds installed on the weekend.
I’m going to make a list of a few little things about our house that I need to ask my dad about.
I’m going to enjoy being productive, but I’m also going to scrap whatever I need to from this list in order to rest, enjoy the people I love, and make those things the priority in my life.
The Wounded Healer - Henri Nouwen
Another thought from Henri Nouwen...
The Wounded Healer
Nobody escapes being wounded. We all are wounded people, whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. The main question is not "How can we hide our wounds?" so we don't have to be embarrassed, but "How can we put our woundedness in the service of others?" When our wounds cease to be a source of shame, and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.
Jesus is God's wounded healer: through his wounds we are healed. Jesus' suffering and death brought joy and life. His humiliation brought glory; his rejection brought a community of love. As followers of Jesus we can also allow our wounds to bring healing to others.
The Wounded Healer
Nobody escapes being wounded. We all are wounded people, whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. The main question is not "How can we hide our wounds?" so we don't have to be embarrassed, but "How can we put our woundedness in the service of others?" When our wounds cease to be a source of shame, and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.
Jesus is God's wounded healer: through his wounds we are healed. Jesus' suffering and death brought joy and life. His humiliation brought glory; his rejection brought a community of love. As followers of Jesus we can also allow our wounds to bring healing to others.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Fun Evening
I hung out with my newly engaged best friend tonight.
We laughed and talked and shopped together.
(I bought some very fun things...)
I admired her ring, and enjoyed her description of their "1 year anniversary date" and proposal last week.
Next summer I'll be traveling to the Okanagan for a wedding!
I needed an evening to do girly stuff. To laugh and just enjoy each other's company. Nothing serious. Nothing related to the ongoing things I've been working through.
Just smoothies and shopping. Laughing and talking about future plans.
So thankful for that.
We laughed and talked and shopped together.
(I bought some very fun things...)
I admired her ring, and enjoyed her description of their "1 year anniversary date" and proposal last week.
Next summer I'll be traveling to the Okanagan for a wedding!
I needed an evening to do girly stuff. To laugh and just enjoy each other's company. Nothing serious. Nothing related to the ongoing things I've been working through.
Just smoothies and shopping. Laughing and talking about future plans.
So thankful for that.
Smile List - July 8th Edition!
Because I need it a little bit this morning, these are the things I'm thankful for - the things that are currently making me smile:
- the Paul Brandt song "Risk"
- the toe ring that I'm wearing on my pinky finger today, with three tiny silver butterflies on it
- the prospect that by the weekend I will have an assembled bed, and will no longer be sleeping on my mattress on the floor
- a very special gift that my baby brother brought from England for me
- nine sleeps until hugs from a dear friend
- that the only good thing about Stampede is that instead of one casual day a week, you get to wear jeans to work every day.
- a handshake from a very attractive musician yesterday
- remembering moments in a meadow on Sunday
- the prospect that by the end of the weekend we will likely be mostly settled into our new home (and mostly unpacked, and mostly without the chaos in which we've been living for the last week and a bit)
- hanging out with my best friend, M. tonight - she got engaged a week ago today, and we haven't managed to see each other since then, so I'm still waiting on the details and I'm excited to see her ring and hear her plans.
- a cross sitting on my desk as a reminder
- bottled water
- couscous
- sharing the cooking with one of my roommates for the summer - it's nice to cook together, and to feed more than one person
- a friend who routinely reminds me that I am deeply loved - by her, and by God
- that I'm alive and breathing - there have been a lot of deaths around me lately - people I know, or people connected to people I know - and they have served as a reminder that each breath is a gift
- internet and phone service that are now functional in our new house
- a lavender plant sitting on my deck, waiting to be planted
- a digital camera for capturing moments that are important
- the High Valley song "Been Through the Water"
- days that have been a bit more peaceful the last while
- a friend who pushes me to pray, and do some hard things, even while sympathizing that they are difficult
Monday, July 07, 2008
Moments - Part 2
Yesterday was really a very special day. Not one that I can share a lot from, but one I can share images from. Here are a few more "moments" from the day. (You can click on the photos to make them larger.)
How Time Heals - Henri Nouwen
Another thought from Henri Nouwen...
How Time Heals
"Time heals," people often say. This is not true when it means that we will eventually forget the wounds inflicted on us and be able to live on as if nothing happened. That is not really healing; it is simply ignoring reality. But when the expression "time heals" means that faithfulness in a difficult relationship can lead us to a deeper understanding of the ways we have hurt each other, then there is much truth in it. "Time heals" implies not passively waiting but actively working with our pain and trusting in the possibility of forgiveness and reconciliation.
How Time Heals
"Time heals," people often say. This is not true when it means that we will eventually forget the wounds inflicted on us and be able to live on as if nothing happened. That is not really healing; it is simply ignoring reality. But when the expression "time heals" means that faithfulness in a difficult relationship can lead us to a deeper understanding of the ways we have hurt each other, then there is much truth in it. "Time heals" implies not passively waiting but actively working with our pain and trusting in the possibility of forgiveness and reconciliation.
News Headline
I've seen this guy dance a number of times, and it's always fascinating.
Hoop Dancer Steps up Culture
Hoop Dancer Steps up Culture
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Moments
A couple images from my time in what is probably my favorite spot in the world this afternoon. It was a much-needed time, full of deep moments that are not for public consumption. A time of meeting with Jesus. And these are a few images from the day.
Saturday, July 05, 2008
The Insufficiency of Maps
I bought this book at the university bookstore today. It's a novel. The title and the cover image grabbed me. They both speak to some deeper things I've been thinking about lately. Can't explain exactly how yet, but they do.
According to the copy on the back of the book, "In this powerful debut novel by award-winning Nora Pierce, a young girl must discover the meaning of self and family as she struggles to find her place between two contrasting realities."
It's a book that touches on topics like mental illness, and the Native American experience. Topics that tend to hold my attention.
I'm looking forward to reading it.
Full Day
My roommate L and I have had a full day.
We had a long list of tasks to accomplish, and managed to get most of them done.
We did errands all over the city today.
Bought groceries.
Unpacked boxes.
We've finally got phone and internet service in our new house. After much struggle, one repairman, and a thirty minute phone call with the service provider.
We had the perfect dinner to round out this sort of day. Chicken Caesar salad. French bread with butter. Half a mango each. Healthy, and not too heavy at the end of a long, hot, day.
Tomorrow I'm buying a bed. And then dropping it off, unassembled at my house and heading for my favorite spot in the mountains with my roommate. A spot I go to when I need to think and pray. When we get home, I'll assemble a bed.
Once I have a bed, I can finish settling into my bedroom, and work further on settling into our house.
We had a long list of tasks to accomplish, and managed to get most of them done.
We did errands all over the city today.
Bought groceries.
Unpacked boxes.
We've finally got phone and internet service in our new house. After much struggle, one repairman, and a thirty minute phone call with the service provider.
We had the perfect dinner to round out this sort of day. Chicken Caesar salad. French bread with butter. Half a mango each. Healthy, and not too heavy at the end of a long, hot, day.
Tomorrow I'm buying a bed. And then dropping it off, unassembled at my house and heading for my favorite spot in the mountains with my roommate. A spot I go to when I need to think and pray. When we get home, I'll assemble a bed.
Once I have a bed, I can finish settling into my bedroom, and work further on settling into our house.
Friday, July 04, 2008
It Will Be Alright
A while ago I wrote this post. The image in the post is still catching my attention. I'm needing to hear what it's saying today.
The Tears of the Father - Henri Nouwen
Another thought from Henri Nouwen
The Tears of the Father
The father in the story of the prodigal son suffered much. He saw his younger son leave, knowing the disappointments, rejections and abuses facing him. He saw his older son become angry and bitter, and was unable to offer him affection and support. A large part of the father's life has been waiting. He could not force his younger son to come home or his older son to let go of his resentments. Only they themselves could take the initiative to return.
During these long years of waiting the father cried many tears and died many deaths. He was emptied out by suffering. But that emptiness had created a place of welcome for his sons when the time of their return came. We are called to become like that father.
The Tears of the Father
The father in the story of the prodigal son suffered much. He saw his younger son leave, knowing the disappointments, rejections and abuses facing him. He saw his older son become angry and bitter, and was unable to offer him affection and support. A large part of the father's life has been waiting. He could not force his younger son to come home or his older son to let go of his resentments. Only they themselves could take the initiative to return.
During these long years of waiting the father cried many tears and died many deaths. He was emptied out by suffering. But that emptiness had created a place of welcome for his sons when the time of their return came. We are called to become like that father.
In the news...
Green Tea is good for the Heart
Mediterranean Crossing - the issue of North African refugees trying to gain access to Europe. I visited a refugee camp for these refugees when I was in Malta earlier this year.
Mediterranean Crossing - the issue of North African refugees trying to gain access to Europe. I visited a refugee camp for these refugees when I was in Malta earlier this year.
Things I've Done
These are some of the things I've done so far today:
- dropped my roommate at the train station and driven myself to work
- printed 5000 client labels to be attached to envelopes for an upcoming mailout
- scheduled a courier for a package
- obtained a missing invoice from a hotel for a volunteer stay a month ago
- input the data into two months worth of expense reports for my boss
- changed the water filter in our coffee maker
- sipped at a cup of roiibos tea
- confirmed a hotel reservation for an upcoming trip I'm making
- listened all the way through 2 Chris Rice albums
- traded facebook wall messages with my brother who will soon be returning home from England
It's been an oddly productive morning - oddly productive without feeling stressed or rushed. Here's hoping that continues through the day.
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Remedy
Caught by the lyrics to the David Crowder Band song "Remedy" today...
Here we areHere we are
The broken and used
Mistreated, abused
Here we are
Here You are
Here You are
The beautiful one
Who came like a Son
Here You are
So we lift up our voices
We open our hands
To cling to the love
That we can’t comprehend
Oh, lift up your voices
And lift up your heads
To sing of the love
That has freed us from sin
He is the one
Who has saved us
He is the one
Who embraced us
He is the one who has come
And is coming again
He’s the remedy
Here we are
Here we are
Bandaged and bruised
Awaiting a cure
Here we are
Here You are
Here You are
Our beautiful King
Bringing relief
Here You are with us
So we lift up our voices
And open our hands
Let go of the things
That have kept us from Him
He is the one
Who has saved us
He is the one
Who forgave us
He is the one who has come
And is coming again
He’s the remedy
Oh, I can’t comprehend
I can’t take it all in
Never understand
Such perfect love come
For the broken and beat
For the wounded and weak
Oh, come fall at His feet
He’s the remedy
He’s the remedy
He is the one who has saved us
He is the one who forgave us
He is the one who has come
and is coming again
He's the remedy
he's the remedy
He's the remedy
He's the remedy
So sing, sing
You are the one
Who has saved us
You are the one
Who forgave us
You are the one who has come
And is coming again
To make it alright
Oh, to make it alright
You’re the remedy
Oh, in us
You’re the remedy
Oh, You're in us
You're the remedy
Let us be the remedy
Let us be the remedy
Let us bring the remedy
Here we areHere we are
The broken and used
Mistreated, abused
Here we are
Here You are
Here You are
The beautiful one
Who came like a Son
Here You are
So we lift up our voices
We open our hands
To cling to the love
That we can’t comprehend
Oh, lift up your voices
And lift up your heads
To sing of the love
That has freed us from sin
He is the one
Who has saved us
He is the one
Who embraced us
He is the one who has come
And is coming again
He’s the remedy
Here we are
Here we are
Bandaged and bruised
Awaiting a cure
Here we are
Here You are
Here You are
Our beautiful King
Bringing relief
Here You are with us
So we lift up our voices
And open our hands
Let go of the things
That have kept us from Him
He is the one
Who has saved us
He is the one
Who forgave us
He is the one who has come
And is coming again
He’s the remedy
Oh, I can’t comprehend
I can’t take it all in
Never understand
Such perfect love come
For the broken and beat
For the wounded and weak
Oh, come fall at His feet
He’s the remedy
He’s the remedy
He is the one who has saved us
He is the one who forgave us
He is the one who has come
and is coming again
He's the remedy
he's the remedy
He's the remedy
He's the remedy
So sing, sing
You are the one
Who has saved us
You are the one
Who forgave us
You are the one who has come
And is coming again
To make it alright
Oh, to make it alright
You’re the remedy
Oh, in us
You’re the remedy
Oh, You're in us
You're the remedy
Let us be the remedy
Let us be the remedy
Let us bring the remedy
These Things
Here are two things that have caught my attention today:
The first is an article about a Nigerian Jesuit priest, who has written a collection of fictional stories about life in Africa, and is rapidly drawing the attention of literary critics. I found his description of the use of Ignatian excercises as being similar to how he writes fiction to be quite fascinating. The article "Channeling the voices of Africa's Lost Children" is definitely worth the read.
The second is this unique, kitchsy, cheesy location in California, which I now have an odd desire to visit. You can find "Salvation Mountain" here.
The first is an article about a Nigerian Jesuit priest, who has written a collection of fictional stories about life in Africa, and is rapidly drawing the attention of literary critics. I found his description of the use of Ignatian excercises as being similar to how he writes fiction to be quite fascinating. The article "Channeling the voices of Africa's Lost Children" is definitely worth the read.
The second is this unique, kitchsy, cheesy location in California, which I now have an odd desire to visit. You can find "Salvation Mountain" here.
Daily Text - Peace
Each day I get an email from the Moravians, with the daily texts, a tradition that's existed for hundreds of years. There are some some scripture references you can look up if you like, then two verses written out, and a short prayer. As has often been the case, I found today's particularly timely.
He grants peace within your borders. Psalm 147:14
Christ is our peace. Ephesians 2:14
Prince of peace, give us your gift of peace this day. Bring healing, we pray, to broken or strained relationships. For your sake and for our own sake, enable us to truly forgive those who have wronged us. And in being set free from past hurts, may we enter fully into your peace. Amen.
He grants peace within your borders. Psalm 147:14
Christ is our peace. Ephesians 2:14
Prince of peace, give us your gift of peace this day. Bring healing, we pray, to broken or strained relationships. For your sake and for our own sake, enable us to truly forgive those who have wronged us. And in being set free from past hurts, may we enter fully into your peace. Amen.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Tired. Quiet.
Quiet. Tired.
Those two words pretty much sum it up right now.
My thoughts are actually not that quiet. They’re racing and wrestling, they’re just not forming written words very much at the moment. Or at least not written words that are suitable for public consumption.
Tired.
Well, tired says it all. Moving is a much more exhausting process than I remembered. I don’t understand those people who love moving, and do it frequently.
My roommate and I are taking it slowly wherever we can. I got rid of my much admired “loft bed” and desk in the process of this move, and, while not precisely regretting it, am definitely not going to be able to handle sleeping on my mattress on the floor for very long. I want some sort of captains bed – with drawers or a bookshelf underneath to give the bed some height and me some storage space. My roommate and I are going to Ikea tonight in a hunt for a number of little items we need to make our new space homey and liveable. I need to look at a bed, she needs a duvet. We jointly need things like picture hanging hooks. I need lavender scented candles.
Also high on my list of priorities will be to buy and put up blinds or curtains in my bedroom. My bedroom faces east, and with no window covering, I’ll be up with the birds all summer if I don’t resolve the situation. I have enough trouble sleeping without adding that.
We’ve declared tonight a “slow night”. We’ll visit Ikea when we meet up after work. We’re cooking pork chops with a cinnamon peach sauce, and probably some frozen veggies and either potatoes or couscous for dinner. We’re going to sit on our couch and watch either a movie or television for the evening. I’ll unpack the bookshelf in our living room. While we’re sitting we’ll collapse all the filing boxes and their lids that I purchased for moving, and then we’ll store them in our basement for the next time (which will hopefully not be for a while.)
Hopefully internet at home will be up and running by tomorrow morning, and I can back to a more regular schedule of blogging, reading the news, and checking emails.
Those two words pretty much sum it up right now.
My thoughts are actually not that quiet. They’re racing and wrestling, they’re just not forming written words very much at the moment. Or at least not written words that are suitable for public consumption.
Tired.
Well, tired says it all. Moving is a much more exhausting process than I remembered. I don’t understand those people who love moving, and do it frequently.
My roommate and I are taking it slowly wherever we can. I got rid of my much admired “loft bed” and desk in the process of this move, and, while not precisely regretting it, am definitely not going to be able to handle sleeping on my mattress on the floor for very long. I want some sort of captains bed – with drawers or a bookshelf underneath to give the bed some height and me some storage space. My roommate and I are going to Ikea tonight in a hunt for a number of little items we need to make our new space homey and liveable. I need to look at a bed, she needs a duvet. We jointly need things like picture hanging hooks. I need lavender scented candles.
Also high on my list of priorities will be to buy and put up blinds or curtains in my bedroom. My bedroom faces east, and with no window covering, I’ll be up with the birds all summer if I don’t resolve the situation. I have enough trouble sleeping without adding that.
We’ve declared tonight a “slow night”. We’ll visit Ikea when we meet up after work. We’re cooking pork chops with a cinnamon peach sauce, and probably some frozen veggies and either potatoes or couscous for dinner. We’re going to sit on our couch and watch either a movie or television for the evening. I’ll unpack the bookshelf in our living room. While we’re sitting we’ll collapse all the filing boxes and their lids that I purchased for moving, and then we’ll store them in our basement for the next time (which will hopefully not be for a while.)
Hopefully internet at home will be up and running by tomorrow morning, and I can back to a more regular schedule of blogging, reading the news, and checking emails.
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
July 1st
Today we take possession of our new house.
From today until Thursday sometime (if all goes well) we'll be without phone and internet at home. So blogging will probably be slow for a few days.
I admit that my case of nerves is back a bit again this morning. New things always frighten me and stress me out.
They make me reclusive - which is a bit of a challenge when you're trying to settle into a new home, with a roommate from another country who doesn't have any friends in Calgary except yourself and the other roommate. Only problem is that our other roommate is currently enjoying a beach in France, and, according to the email she sent us on Monday, getting "hit on" by French men who "just can't help themselves."
Happy Canada Day!
And, a friend informs me that I also need to know that today is Rwanda Day as well. That made me smile when she told me last night.
There were other things that made me smile last night too... special, quiet, private things that I'm so thankful for.
I like new days, new weeks, even new months. Funny that I like those sorts of new things and not the other sorts of new things.
From today until Thursday sometime (if all goes well) we'll be without phone and internet at home. So blogging will probably be slow for a few days.
I admit that my case of nerves is back a bit again this morning. New things always frighten me and stress me out.
They make me reclusive - which is a bit of a challenge when you're trying to settle into a new home, with a roommate from another country who doesn't have any friends in Calgary except yourself and the other roommate. Only problem is that our other roommate is currently enjoying a beach in France, and, according to the email she sent us on Monday, getting "hit on" by French men who "just can't help themselves."
Happy Canada Day!
And, a friend informs me that I also need to know that today is Rwanda Day as well. That made me smile when she told me last night.
There were other things that made me smile last night too... special, quiet, private things that I'm so thankful for.
I like new days, new weeks, even new months. Funny that I like those sorts of new things and not the other sorts of new things.
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