One Year Blogiversary!

One year ago today I wrote my first post on this blog. I started blogging here for a completely mundane reason. James was in Sri Lanka, and his blog didn't allow anonymous comments, so I created a blogger account, and the rest, as they (who are they anyway, and why are they talking about me?) say is history.

I could tell you so many things. But instead, I'm going to just link you to my favorite posts from the past year. For some of them I'll tell you why I picked them, and some of them I'll just let speak for themselves! There are quite a few - it's been a kind of crazy and significant year. So, pick a few and remember with me, or read them all and celebrate with me the incredible changes in my life since last April!

• May 18, 2005 - Disconnect, Crash, and a Jann Arden Song
• May 22, 2005 - Restless
• May 28, 2005 - A Call to Go Deeper - This post asked questions that had been on my heart for quite some time - How could God possibly be calling me to go deeper when I could barely survive in the shallows?
• June 22, 2005 - G. K. Chesterton on Sanity and Reason - Because this quote is one of my favorites of all time.
• July 20, 2005 - Quoting Clive Staples - Because Lewis asks good questions.
• August 12, 2005 - Stumbling Towards Faith - Because this book changed my life, and created a shift that led to a place of eventual healing.
• September 3, 2005 - Relational Highs and Lows
• September 24, 2005 - Stream of Consciousness - Because this was a moment to be marked.
• October 6, 2005 - Angry - Because it took me over a year to admit it, and admitting it was cathartic.
• October 18, 2005 - In That Moment - One of the most poignant moments of the year. A time in which I had no idea what to do, but was simply present. Something I've been thinking about this week because I held the same young woman as she wept at church again last week.
• November 2, 2005 - Those Who Hope in His Steadfast Love.... - The day after God healed my depression, before I even realized it, but simply knew that He had showed up and my life was changing.
• November 23, 2005 - Something Changed...Or I Just Showed Up
• November 30, 2005 - Whispers - Because God was speaking, and creating "vibrant harmonies".
• December 6, 2005 - The Woman's Creed - Because I am learning my value in God's eyes as a woman.
• December 12, 2005 - Practicality
• December 20, 2005 - I'm Done! - Because everyone should celebrate completing university.
• December 29, 2005 - The Silence of a Muddled Mind - Because this is one of the best titles I came up with all year, and because this post really does talk about some things that were very significant. I was "undone" in the words of a friend, and it turned out to be a very good place to live.
• January 4, 2006 - Listening to God is...
• January 24, 2006 - The Things I Need to Say
• February 1, 2006 - On Hold - Because this was a moment of desperation, and because Nolan's comment really encouraged me.
• March 2, 2006 - Mental Health - Because Stuart sent me this link on a day where I desperately needed a laugh!
• March 8, 2006 - The Kingdom Isn't Breaking Through - Because this is where my heart is, this is the place that God is speaking to me.
• March 13, 2006 - From the Ashes - Because it was a breakthrough.
• March 17, 2006 - Looking For Wisdom - Because it continues to be the cry of my heart.

I had a great time this morning, flipping through all the entries from the last year, and picking my favorites. This has been a crazy year, and I'm really glad James' no anonymous comments thing forced me to create my own blog - because if I hadn't, I'm not sure I would have such a strong chronicle of the changes that have happened in my life.

Hope is such a beautiful thing. A year ago, even six months ago I was in a place of praying something along the lines of, "God, release the tiny portion of my heart that you still hold, because I'm done. There is no reason for me to get out of bed in the mornings. There is nothing worth living for." And then, six months ago, God stepped in, and now I pray something along the lines of, "God, my life is open to you. I am yours, do whatever you want." And this new prayer is terrifying, but beautiful. There is an unexplainable, illogical and completely overwhelmingly beautiful hope that defines my life. People and things have tried to minimize it at times over the last months, but it is there and I want to shout from the rooftops the presence, the transforming presence of Jesus!