Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 133

Today's Daily 5:

1. apple pie pancakes (So glad my sister-in-law gave Michael Smith's newest cookbook to my brother just before Christmas)
2. Chinese take-out for supper
3. watercolor paints and a pad of art paper
4. Moscato wine (how have I not ever had this before?)
5. A great day and evening to wind down 2011

Looking Back Before Moving Forward

One year ago tomorrow, I announced that my One Word for the year of 2011 would be "heal."  That same day, I posted a list of goals, hopes, and dreams that went with that word in my head, heart and life.

Before I post the One Word that found me for 2012, tomorrow, I wanted to take time today to revisit that list and add some comments on a number of the things it contained.

Yoga:  this one started out strong, and then petered out a bit as the year and my plans changed.  The yoga studio I fell in love with closed somewhat suddenly.  I started working for the temp agency, and ended up at the job that took a huge amount of my time.  I did fall in love with yoga, though, and I'll definitely be working to reincorporate it into my life and schedule in the year ahead.

Scripture Reading:  I finished the chronological trip through the Bible just a few minutes ago.  This was the first time in a long time that I've made the commitment to get through the entirety of scripture in a year.  I'm so glad I did.  I admit that some days I very much skimmed, but it has been good for me (if hard at times) to make time in scripture on a regular basis again.

Cook:  I lost count of how many new recipes I tried this year, but it was definitely more than twelve.  Pinterest brought new life to my attempts at cooking and baking and was the source of many recipes and much inspiration.  Some favorites included pumpkin snickerdoodles, chocolate, peanut butter pretzel cookies, and even peanut butter fudge brownie trifle.

Read:  Yep - way more than 2 books a month.  More like 2 a week (I haven't totaled up the final tally yet).  So good to devote a lot of time reading this year.

TOMS:  Not yet.  I'm still going to buy a pair - hopefully in the coming year, but it will all depend on how my finances look as I take on full-time studenthood again!

Kiva:  I did it!  I made several loans (about 7, I think) over the last year.  The first investment has more than come back to me, and I keep reinvesting.  I love this program, and I think you all should take part and invest.

Those items are kind of the highlights.  It was a very unexpected, but very good year.  I'm glad for it.  I'm glad for the way that all of these things played out.  I've even glad for the way the things that didn't quite go as planned, played out.  I'm looking forward to seeing which thoughts and ideas present themselves to be played out in the year to come.

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 132

Today's Daily 5:

1. A quiet morning at home
2. catching up on emails
3. playing a bingo game on facebook
4. Christmas lights in big displays
5. an apple fritter from Tim Horton's

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 131

Today's Daily 5:

1. Reading until the wee hours of the morning, and then having the freedom to sleep late
2. some great deals while shopping
3. 5 hours shopping, laughing, hunting and eating with my sister in law
4. Chinese take-out from my favorite food court option
5. finding a couple of really helpful and needed items while prowling and shopping

Mental Lists

If you've been following me on facebook, you know that I've been spending a LOT of time pondering this week.  It's how I always tend to close out one year, and begin another.  I curl up with journals, books, blog posts, articles, magazines, music - anything and everything that helps me think about the way the year has passed, and the way the year to come will pass.

I've found myself making mental lists the last few days.

Lists that contain snippets of thoughts that will become blog posts:

• Love/Hate relationship
• What don't you love?
• scripture and political leaders/rulers

Lists of books I feel I need to revisit in the coming month or so, as I begin another year:

• The Echo Within (Robert Benson)
• Bird by Bird (Anne Lamott)
• A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals (Shane Claiborne et. al)
• Boundaries (Cloud and Townsend)

Lists of random kitcheny dreams for when I manage to have my own place again:

• a garlic press from ikea (used a borrowed one from a friend this week - best ever!)
• A kitchen aid mixer (seriously long term dream)
• A microwave (a maybe in the next couple weeks thing)

Lists of bits and pieces to finish up:

• chronological scripture reading plan
• student loan details

Lists of things to keep an eye out for on kijiji and in thrift shops:

• a nice largeish desk
• a couple of filing cabinets
• a place to live affordably

I'm making lists, and it's helping me continue to ponder, reflect, and prepare my heart for the end of one year and the beginning of another.

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 130

Today's Daily 5:

1. a trip to the library
2. finding a book I'm 300th on the list for in the 2 week, no renewals "New and Notable" section
3. back to my own space after the holidays
4. planning, thinking, dreaming
5. lit candles all around my room
6. candles reflecting off of the tiny icon card that I bought at the Vatican in Rome
7. snapping a few glowsticks left in my craft stash, and enjoying the glow
8. belgian chocolate seashells
9. the comfort of curling up in my own bed
10. tv on dvd

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 129

Today's Daily 5:

1. The best kind of day for an introvert - quiet, alone, and then a few close friends
2. playing Apples to Apples (one of the few games I somewhat tolerate) with the kind of friends who actually make it funny and totally worth playing
3. learning some fascinating facts about how chocolate is actually made
4. dark chocolate (NEVER something I buy) that was actually quite brilliantly good
5. an event where the proceeds of our tickets went to a charity I care about, and the purpose was to be educated about the process of chocolate making, sample all sorts of artisanal chocolate, and then experience chocolate and wine pairings.  Oh my goodness!  Such a great girls night out!

Regularly Scheduled Programming...

I'm taking this week off from the regularly scheduled posts around here (other than the Daily 5, of course). I might be here, I might not.

I have a bunch of last minute details to take care of this week.

And the need to embrace some quiet and rest as I plan and contemplate the year ahead.

So the regularly scheduled programming?  It'll return next week.  And I'll be here when I have time, or the inclination to this week.  And every night for the daily 5.

See you when we resume the regularly scheduled stuff!

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 128

Today's Daily 5:

1. Sitting in a comfy chair, in sunshine, not in a basement
2. time alone
3. making lists
4. puttering quietly
5. an afternoon spent cooking
6. the appreciation of family (and a couple strangers) when they ate the meal I prepared
7. Peanut butter fudge brownie trifle (new recipe, thank you pinterest, that made me look like a goddess in the kitchen!)
8. Watching the laughter as my parents interact with new friends
9. the fun of a day that felt perfect to me
10. curling up in bed at a decent hour, with little to accomplish but a daily 5 list, and a bit of recreational reading

Boxing Day

My parents went snowshoeing with some friends today (I love the Canadian Boxing Day holiday that falls on the 26th!), so I have their home to myself.  It's lovely to have a place to myself, especially after the holidays and their busyness and people.

And how, you ask, am I filling this lovely time to myself?

Well, I slept as long as I possibly could (which I think was around 11am today - I didn't check the clock all that closely).  I'm eating a few leftovers.  I'm watching some episodes of Monk on DVD.  I'm reading.  I'm enjoying quiet, and I'm making lists.  Lists in my journal of things like music to check out in the coming days, foods to eat more of, movies to see, and books to read.

And this "To Do" List, which includes all the tasks to prepare a meal for my parents, their snowshoeing companions, and my brother and sister-in-law tonight.  (Which means I'm doing another of my favorite things - cooking quietly, great food and even a couple new recipes, alone in the kitchen!)  So, these are the things I'm working on today:

• empty the dishwasher
• make rice
• make Chicken Madras Curry
• peel and boil potatoes
• make Peanut Butter Fudge Brownie Trifle
• Heat and prepare naan bread
• take a long, hot shower
• catch up on some emails
• write a few Christmas cards
• ponder One Word for 2012
• list making
• magazine clipping
• reading
• play bingo
• prep a couple of posts for my blog this week
• decorate and set the table for the evening
• clean my laptop

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 126

Today's Daily 5:

1. Dad's hashbrowns and apple pie pancakes for brunch
2. watching a teenager who joined our family for Christmas morning enjoy the fun of unwrapping some presents
3. lots of fun in both giving and receiving
4. a relatively peaceful afternoon
5. awesome food, and the complete absence of turkey (it's all right, as meat, goes, but there's no way it's as good as the stuffed leg of lamb, and the pork tenderloin that we had tonight instead!)

Merry Christmas!

I spent yesterday cooking, wrapping, and generally preparing for last night and today, before slipping off to have an hour or so of quiet before the onslaught of festivities began.

We're doing some things differently this year - changes necessitated by jobs, and in-laws and extended family.

We're not even having turkey (not really going to miss it, especially since my cousin, a trained chef, is going to make pork roast and leg of lamb instead!)

It's funny how sometimes you don't know that something will be a last.  On the other hand, when there is an ending to something traditional, then there is also the beginning of something new.

I'm praying that all of you will encounter many lovely old things, and many lovely new ones as well this season.

Merry Christmas to all of you!

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 127

Today's Daily 5:

1. Sleeping restfully
2. A bacon, cheese, and lettuce sandwich for lunch, made with leftover bacon from another cooking task
3. spending time on my own (mostly) in the kitchen, preparing for this evening
4. anticipating a tasty meal all day (and then getting to eat our traditional Christmas eve appetizer feast!)
5. helping my baby brother with a couple of last minute gift things for his wife
6. laughing and talking with my family about topics that range from hilarious to serious
7. being reminded that some of the things I struggle the most with in regards to family are the other side of some of the things I love the most
8. watching as several family members played a new game
9. joking about gift wrapping skill/technique  (you can tell by looking which gifts my brother J wrapped, and which his fiancee wrapped)
10. nestling into bed knowing that early, early Christmas mornings are definitely a thing of the past (unless you're my brother T, whose wife insists that 6:30 is the correct time to rise on Christmas morning!)

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 126

Today's Daily 5:

1. Getting close to finished the last few gifts
2. Christmas oranges
3. knitting (while sipping a cocktail with pomegranate juice, lemon, cranberries, and white wine)
4. old episodes of Monk on DVD
5. a long bubble bath, accompanied by a great novel

2 Days...

Two days left until Christmas.

Two days.

Can I admit that that thought feels overwhelming?

Some of the events of the last few days have left me feeling pensive, lost in thought...

What I really want to do is curl up alone and honor those thoughts.  Honor them, and maybe hide away from things that will highlight them painfully.

What I'm going to do instead is shop and bake and sew and cook.  I'll decorate and pack and clean.

I kind of wish Christmas would just delay itself a few more days... but it won't...

So, here's to figuring out the balance of being pensive and being active...  I hope it works!

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 125

Today's Daily 5:

1. Sharing the joy and anticipation of giving to some in need over the course of an early morning phone call from a friend
2. a winter day warm enough to wear a skirt with leggings and boots
3. reading quietly on the bus
4. bringing lunch and a special handmade birthday gift to one of my dearest friends, and getting to hug her daughter and spend much of the afternoon visiting with my friend
5. an appointment that left me with much to ponder
6. delivering Christmas hampers that we purchased and assembled to three families in need
7. chatting frankly with a friend
8. celebrating another birthday with cake and mocktails (what happens when you have several pregnant friends)
9. a novel I've really enjoyed
10. curling up in my own bed at the end of a very full day

The Problem with Quiet

I've talked lately about how much of a blessing this unexpected time of quiet and rest has been.  I've talked about rediscovering introverted parts of myself, and understanding in new ways that alone time, or time with a few dear friends is what feeds my soul.

But this week I was reminded of the downside of all that quiet.  Or at least the downside if you're an introvert with tendencies to analyze, over think, avoid, and or generally inclined to ascribe to the position that "the unexamined life is not worth living."

The problem with quiet is that eventually the preceding exhaustion subsides.  Eventually the novelty wears off.  And then?  Then you are left with your thoughts.

(Can I just say that the time right before the holidays, when everyone is busy and happy and joyous, maybe even raucous, is not a great time to be alone with highly introspective, slightly less than happy and joyous thoughts?)

It took about a week for me to realize that the novelty of the quiet was wearing off, and my mind and heart were taking the opportunity to remind me that there are still unsettled things within them.  That there are wrestles that are more easily sidestepped when life is full, busy, and loud.  About a week of increasingly disturbing dreams marring my sleep, forcing certain wrestles to the surface of my consciousness for me to recognize the phenomenon occurring within me.

It's not a phenomenon that, for all my experience with it, I've quite figured out how to handle.  It's made more challenging by the fact that some of the things stirring relate to conflicts with those who are quite intimately connected to me - the sorts of people that the holidays demand I spend time with.

I am going to bed at night praying with just a hint of desperation for Jesus to be present deeply in my thoughts as I sleep.  That nothing not of him would penetrate my dreams.  That I would be held and protected.  (And I share those dreams that remain when morning comes with a few select and trusted friends, knowing that they too will pray as I negotiate the challenges of my mind and heart that are surfacing in my dreams.

And so I pause and acknowledge that that which feeds me also holds challenges.  That this too is something to balance.   That just like food, perhaps too much silence is not quite healthy either, and that there is still healing and learning to be done.

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 124

Today's Daily 5:

1. skinny jeans and black suede boots
2. finally accomplishing a much prolonged task
3. the grin on little M's face as he "helped" us assemble Christmas hampers for distribution
4. supper and laughter with friends
5. tasty dessert at a house church leaders party

Whimsical Wednesday, December 21, 2011

I'll admit that I'm not a fan of winter.  If someone tells me that I'd miss it if I lived someplace where it wasn't so cold, I tell them that I'd sure like to give that warmer climate living a try!  That said, somehow, it just seemed right, on this last Wednesday before Christmas to showcase another set of photos depicting the prettier aspects of winter, a few Christmas scenes or ideas that caught my attention, and a few cozy spaces to curl up in and avoid the wintery chill!  So, I went hunting on pinterest for photos that fit those criteria, and these are what I came up with.  As always, I'd love to hear which one is your favorite, and why it caught your attention!

Source: christmascardss.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Source: etsy.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Source: wishflowers.tumblr.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Source: favim.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Source: anthropologie.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Source: adiamondinthestuff.blogspot.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Source: alaskaphotographics.photoshelter.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 123

Today's Daily 5:

1. a decent rest
2. a day filled with creativity
3. the pleasure of making gifts for people I love
4. baking a birthday cake for a friend
5. shopping with 4 of the girls from house church tonight to create extensive Christmas hampers for three local families in need this year.  It was fun to shop with them (though I did feel bad for the person behind us in the checkout line! We had three FULL buggies!)

You Ask, I Answer, Take 25

Today's question comes from Lois, who asked:

I was wondering if you have a kindle or what your thoughts are on them??

Well, this will probably be a shorter winded answer than some installments in this weekly series!

The answer is no, I don't have a Kindle.

As for my thoughts on the whole field of ebook readers, they're terribly conflicted.  I'm not a huge fan of reading from a screen, and I've been known to use the paper to print out an article that I will refer to only once as a source for a paper, simply because I can't stand the thought of reading a lengthy document on screen.

I'm also one of those purists who just really likes having a book in one hand, and a pen in the other, to mark in my book and highlight.

A few friends of mine have ebook readers, and love them, citing the weight, and accessibility of all sorts of titles and genres with great ease.  One friend actually had a kindle, and I was pleasantly surprised that the screen was somewhat matte, without the glare that I'd expected and dreaded.

I think the answer is this - if I end up pursuing a life overseas, or if I end up traveling more extensively (something not in the cards particularly as I head into school for the next two years), I would seriously consider and investigate the possibility of purchasing a kindle, or something comparable for the sheer ability to carry a whole library with me wherever I go.  However, since I'm not doing those sorts of things that make weight and portability a necessity at the moment, it's not something I've currently investigated greatly, or that I'll likely purchase in the near future.

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 122

Today's Daily 5:

1. errands with dad this morning
2. a Tim Horton's breakfast sandwich
3. that moment when buying an extended warranty definitely pays off
4. fitting in some decent exercise on the treadmill at mom and dad's, while watching a dvd episode of Monk (so funny!)
5. hot brie (with peach chipotle jelly) on crackers
6. reasons to laugh
7. a good evening with family
8. celebrating my baby brother and Mom's birthdays
9. watching the joy as gifts that were well chosen were unwrapped
10. a ride home at the end of the night

Wrapping Up "Heal"

My one word for 2011 was "heal".

It wasn't the word I'd initially thought I would choose, but it was the one my heart landed on on December 31, 2010, as I walked and prayed on my way to and from the passport office.

I was in a good place that day, and heal didn't seem intimidating.  It seemed perfect, really.

I was expecting to hear, either within days, or within months, that I was accepted into a nursing program.  What better word for the first year of nursing studies, I thought, than heal?

I was in a good place mentally, emotionally, and spiritually - riding the high of some changes and progress I'd made, heal seemed like the natural continuation of that high, of the victory I was experiencing after many months and years of a tiring fight.

The year didn't turn out quite like I thought it would.

Heal, it turns out, is not all victory and highs.  A lot of it is hard slogging.  A lot of it is tears, and work, surrender and sacrifices.

Nursing didn't work out like I expected.  I didn't start school in January, or September, as I thought I would.  It was a full year of waiting for that part of my journey of healing to happen.  I will start school and that much desired nursing program in 2012, a year whose word has yet to be determined.  The first rejection from the program hurt.  It was a shattering of dreams and expectations.  The second one hurt less so, perhaps from experience, perhaps because of the practical reality of knowing that very few people were accepted in that second application period.

And victory?  Well, changing relationships and tears and struggling are all more apt descriptors of the year.  Uncovering, digging, surrendering.  Yoga.  Chocolate.  Loving friends. Transitions. Knowing Jesus in new ways.  Hard choices.  Hard work.

And yet, as I stop today and recall the past year, I can tell you that it has been a year of healing.

I am healthier - physically, emotionally, spiritually.  I have made choices I never thought I would make and they have changed me, they have helped me heal.  I feel emotionally and spiritually stable in ways that I haven't in more than a decade.  I have friends who I have leaned on in some pretty challenging situations, and who I know I can trust with the messy parts of myself as readily as the tidy and together bits.  I know Jesus in new ways - in ways that convince me that He loves me more than I ever could have believed.  And more than that, I am growing to understand that I, myself, am worthy.  I'm learning that caring for myself, loving who Jesus has made me, is perhaps one of the most beautiful and profound gifts of healing that this year has offered.

The year of heal didn't turn out at all like I expected, but it has been a year that has moved me, and a year that has lived up to it's name.  I can't wait to see what word reveals itself for 2012, and the journey that that word will take me on.

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 121

Today's Daily 5:

1. A trip to the farmer's market
2. a chocolate chip cookie (or three)
3. string cheese
4. a long hot bubble bath, and a good book
5. knitting, knitting, knitting on a final Christmas project

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 120

Today's Daily 5:

1. A bit more restful sleep than most this week
2. getting my inbox to zero
3. getting caught up on all my blog reading and writing
4. writing a post for next week, reflecting on the last year
5. watching a corny Christmas movie (I'll be Home for Christmas with Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Jessica Biel anyone???)
6. Friday night home alone
7. sitting beside the Christmas tree with it's lights glowing
8. cranking Adele and curling up for the evening
9. a good book, some knitting, and a glass of wine to go with Adele
10. a bit of celtic Christmas music and worship, and working on some final details for Christmas gifts

2011 Video Review

I came across this fascinating visual and video review of 2011 this morning, and wanted to share it here.

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 119

Today's Daily 5:

1. managing to sleep in a bit after another in a series of nights filled with disturbing dreams
2. Christmas orange
3. curling up with a book this afternoon
4. dinner and so much laughter at our house church christmas party
5. the fun of sledding as a large group after dinner, to round out our party

A People With Many Secrets

It seems to be becoming something of a regular thing to post a prayer by Walter Brueggemann in this space on Thursdays, and today is no exception.  As I continue to slowly re-read "Awed to Heaven, Rooted in Earth", the book of his prayers, I regularly find bits that express deep heart cries with clarity that demand their reposting in this space.  And so today I offer you the prayer with the same title as this post, written and read to a Psalms class, on January 14, 1999.

You are the God from whom no secret can be hid,
and we are a people with many secrets,
that we want to tell for the sake of our lives,
that we dare not tell because they are deep and painful.
But they are our secrets...and they count for much;
they are our truth...rooted deep in our lives.
You are the God of all truth,
and now we bid you heed our truth,
about which we will not bear false witness...
The truth of grief unresolved,
the truth of pain unacknowledged,
the truth of fear too child-like,
the truth of hate, as powerful as it is deep,
the truth of being taken advantage of,
and being used,
and manipulated,
and slandered.
We trust the great truth of your wondrous love,
but we will not sit still for it,
UNTIL you hear us.
Our truth - heard by you - will make us free.
So be the God of all truth, even ours,
we pray in the name of Jesus,
who is your best kept secret of hurt.  Amen.

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 118

Today's Daily 5:

1. Positive reactions to a project I worked hard on for many hours yesterday
2. Peanut Butter and Raspberry jam on Canadian Rye bread
3. sewing, sewing, and more sewing.
4. the fun of giving things carefully crafted
5. making a new and yummy recipe (chicken enchilada casserole) for my parents (a chance to serve their busy schedule by cooking in this season where I have time and quiet)
6. creations from pinterest coming to life
7. quietly knitting while watching a bit of a DVD
8. Sister Act 2 - I could quote most of the movie and all of the songs along with.  Lots of fond childhood memories, and I still laugh in all the right places and love the music.
9. choosing to daily count smiles - sometimes it is a rote habit, but it is one that has changed me, changed my internal dialogue, and that is something I am so thankful for
10. Belgian chocolate seashells - one of the things I love best about Christmas

Whimsical Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Today's eclectic Whimsical Wednesday collection is inspired by the fact that I've been working on some baby gifts this week, and by an outburst of my slightly twisted and sarcastic sense of humor.  As always, I'd love to hear if any of these images caught your attention, and why.

Source: morganton.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Source: coolmomtech.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Source: imicki.tumblr.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Source: thefrogman.me via Lisa on Pinterest

Source: toysrus.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Source: amazon.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Source: etsy.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 117

Today's Daily 5:

1. Sunshine, even though it's still cold, with snow everywhere
2. Exciting news from a faraway friend
3. finding just the right items to complete a handmade gift for a couple friends
4. getting a yoga class in, even if it was a short one
5. watching The Holiday while sewing

You Ask, I Answer?

I have two "You Ask, I Answer" questions left in the list from previous rounds, and I'll get to those in the weeks to come.

In the meantime, I wondered if there's any other questions out there that are burning in your thoughts?

Do you have seasonal or Christmas related questions?

Something totally random?

Something you wonder about me?

They're fair game (and, if it's too personal for the blog, I'll leave you a comment telling you that, and be happy to answer by email!).  Almost nothing is too personal though, so if you want to ask, go for it.  

What would you want to talk about with me if we were sitting down over a cup of tea and some baking?  Ask away!

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 116

Today's Daily 5:

1. Slowly paring down the unread emails demanding my attention
2. plotting upcoming spurts of creativity
3. a book, a cinnamon bun, and a mug of Roman Provence rooibos tea in one of my favorite coffee shops
4. meeting a new friend
5. stitching tiny gifts

Introvert

I've been thinking about being an introvert over the weekend.  So much so that I cracked up when Christianne posted the following facebook status last night:

"Sometimes I hate being an introvert. But then I realized that I only feel that way when I'm in an extroverted setting that has demanded way more energy than I can muster. Other than that, I totally love introversion."

I totally get that feeling. In fact, it was one of those extroverted settings that had me thinking about this whole topic.

On the weekend I spent several hours at my brother's engagement party.  My brother and his fiancee are both extroverts.  They thrive on interaction with others, and they have more and more diverse friends than anyone I've ever met.  (I love this about them - they're wonderful at including just about anyone in their lives.)

The engagement party some of their friends threw for them reflected their personalities.  There was a huge and diverse crowd mingling, enjoying food and beverages, and eventually moving down to the basement for a dance party, complete with a rented smoke machine.  It's the kind of party that the two of them and many of their friends thrive on.

It's kind of my idea of hell.  Hours and hours of making conversation with people I don't really know, in a crowded room, over a huge assortment of background noises.  (Let me be clear in saying I greatly enjoyed many of the conversations I had at the party, and I loved the chance to celebrate my brother and his fiancee.  This was not about my preferences at all, it simply highlighted the differences in our social tendencies.)

And so, on Saturday I found myself avoiding all people.  I'd had a few tentative plans, but all of them involved more groups of people I didn't know well.  I skipped all of them and took a nap.  As I thought about why I was so tired, I realized it was because I was still drained and overwhelmed from the previous night.  It took a large portion of the weekend to recover, and highlighted my introversion for me again.

I don't draw energy from people in a group setting.  Over the last year I've learned that I do need people. That I need interaction, particularly with those who are heart friends.  But I don't find energy in a large group setting.  I find it draining.  My soul and energy are restored in time alone, reading, writing and creating, and in one on one or very small group settings with my soul friends.

Having this tendency highlighted again, especially in the midst of a season where I've had time to rest, create and be with my soul friends, reminds me that these are the things I need to make time for, even in the seasons where life is busier and demanding.  It reminds that I was made this way, and that it's not something to regret, but something that I need to honor.  That this is something important to my life.  That it is important for my mental and emotional health, but also for my spiritual life.

And for a realization like that, I'll gladly attend a party celebrating people I love, even if it drains me!

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 116

Today's Daily 5:

1. A long hot shower
2. buttermilk pancakes, made from scratch, and not a mix
3. the normalcy of settling in to fold a couple loads of laundry in the quiet
4. Christmas (and birthday) shopping with my sister-in-law this afternoon
5. the chance to be creative in several different mediums tonight
6. unpacking from the weekend and bringing order to my space
7. a chocolate advent calendar
8. leftover soup
9. gratefulness for friends made online
10. cozy boots

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 115

Today's Daily 5:

1. A restful sleep
2. quiet and space after a people crammed evening yesterday
3. leftover Italian wedding soup
4. knitting quietly
5. a mid-afternoon nap

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 114

Today's Daily 5:

1. Curling up under a pile of blankets to do some knitting
2. finding a few "must try" ideas on pinterest
3. the continued chance to rest
4. the chance to watch and join in as friends and family partied and celebrated my brother's recent engagement
5. a reminder of family scattered in a moment where it would have been easy to feel out of place

An Advent Prayer

I've still been reading that book of Walter Brueggemann's prayers, and am quite caught by this prayer for the advent season:

The grace and the impatience to wait

In our secret yearnings
we wait for your coming,
and in our grinding despair
we doubt that you will.
And in this privileged place
we are surrounded by witnesses who yearn more than do we
and by those who despair more deeply than do we.
Look upon your church and its pastors
in this season of hope
which runs so quickly to fatigue
and this season of yearning
which becomes so easily quarrelsome.
Give us the grace and the impatience
to wait for your coming to the bottom of our toes,
to the edges of our finger tips.
We do not want our several worlds to end.
Come in your power
and come in your weakness
in any case
and make all things new.
Amen.

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 113

Today's Daily 5:

1. A long hot bath with a good book
2. making a new recipe
3. the look on my brother's face when we delivered all the fabulous food for the kids he works with
4. a really awesome house church gathering, with great discussion and insights as we studied a portion of Mark together
5. a hug goodnight from my favorite little guy as we were leaving

Quiet and Rest

Quiet and rest have been my themes of the week.

For those of you who don't follow me on facebook or twitter, my temp job came to an abrupt end last Friday, three weeks before I expected it to end.

It's a bit bittersweet in that I could definitely use the income.  But it was an incredibly negative work environment, one which I'd ask my friends just the night before it ended, to pray that I would have wisdom to continue navigating.

And so, after two weeks of being quite ill and over three months of working in a tough environment full-time, the themes of this week have been quiet and rest.

I've been spending time in the kitchen, trying new recipes and creating.

I've been putting on television and movies that make me smile, and curling up with some knitting.

I've been browsing pinterest, hunting for inspiration, and gathering supplies and tackling some projects.  (I made the first attempt at some very cute earrings that use paperclips as a base yesterday - with a little tweaking, I'm going to love them!)

Yesterday a friend from house church and I hung out and spent the afternoon catching up, and baking at a leisurely pace, making some decadent treats that I will deliver tonight to the social services agency where my brother works with teenagers who a part of live-in program to help manage their severe mental illnesses and emotional problems.  My brother has challenged me in his work there, in the way he has loved on these kids who quite literally don't have anyone else to love them.  When he texted me a few weeks ago and asked if I'd be interested in doing a bit of baking for a Christmas dinner that the staff provide for the kids and some of their family members, and that they wanted to make it a really special dinner, one that might truly be a once in a lifetime opportunity for these kids, I jumped at the chance, and corralled some friends from church who also love to bake.  So, yesterday we baked, and tonight I'll go with my dad to drop off the results.  There are plans under way for my friends and I to bake regularly for these kids in the coming year - providing special treats.

There's something about a chance to minister in that sort of way that makes my heart sing in a way that using my many administrative skills never has.  Yes, I'm good at office work.  I'm quick, efficient, and skilled.  But I don't love it.  It doesn't make me come alive the way creating, caring for people, and feeding anyone who wants to eat does.  And so today, as I continue to rest, enjoy quiet, and create, I'm pondering that, and what it looks like for my future...

Whimsical Wednesday, December 7, 2011

This week's Whimsical Wednesday has an eclectic collection of cozy winter things and bookish spaces.  As always, I'd love to hear if any of these images particularly caught your attention!

Source: fotopedia.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Source: polyvore.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Source: imgfave.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Source: favim.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Source: 26.media.tumblr.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Source: mhel02.tumblr.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 112

Today's Daily 5:

1. Sunshine
2. Christmas oranges (so good... if you don't have these, you're missing out)
3. the smell of a pot of Italian wedding soup simmering on the stove
4. Time cooking alone, in the quiet, with a bit of favorite music (some classic Jars of Clay, and some Jack Johnson) playing
5. great news from good friends
6. a hot bath and a book
7. ferrero rocher
8. finishing a much put off task
9. a quiet evening at home
10. laughter

You Ask, I Answer, Take 24

Today's You Ask, I Answer question comes from Tea.

She asked, "What are some of your all time favorite songs?"

Oh dear.  I don't have any idea how to answer this one!

I have this habit of picking music based primarily on the lyrics, and not the style of music.  The result is that my taste in music is rather eclectic and that I tend to pick songs based on the way their lyrics speak to me at a particular moment or season in life.  It also means that I don't always have favorites per say, but that my favorites tend to change as the things that are going on in my life change.

So, here a few songs I've loved at various times, sorted out by genre.  I think many of these could be their own posts, really, talking about the significance of the lyrics to my heart at various times and moments.  Some of them, particularly the country and random ones are simply songs that have made me laugh over the years.  (Note that I don't really like all of the video links, but if you just listen to the songs and don't watch the videos, they're a great way to hear these songs.)

Christian/Worship
Here by the Water (Steve Bell)
Blessed Be Your Name (Matt Redman)
Not Alone (Jason Upton)
Just Showed Up for My Own Life (Sara Groves)
All I Can Say (David Crowder Band)

Country
I Wanna Talk About Me (Toby Keith)
Anything by Paul Brandt, but especially "I Do"
Hurt (Johnny Cash)
Bless the Broken Road (Rascal Flatts)

Other Random Bits and Pieces
Peace on Earth (U2)
Elf's Lament (Barenaked Ladies)
Breathe (Ingrid Michaelson)
Banana Pancakes (Jack Johnson)
Build a Tower (by a friend of mine Karla Adolphe as half of Jacob and Lily)
Let Go (Frou Frou)


How about the rest of you?  Do you have all time favorite songs, or even songs that are current favorites?  Do lyrics speak to you, or is it more about other things for you?  Leave a comment and share your thoughts!

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 111

Today's Daily 5:

1. A reason to get out of bed
2. Baking a lovely loaf of cornbread with maple butter
3. randomly bumping into a friend and getting a hug
4. laughing while watching TV and knitting
5. a chance to write

Christmas Fun

In the spirit of Christmas, here are two totally opposite Christmas videos that made me smile recently.

The first is a take on Bohemian Rhapsody, and made me chuckle with the clever lyrical rewrite.

The second is a flash mob musical in a mall, and made me laugh simply for the sheer joy of the shock on peoples' faces as the participants burst into song.

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 110

Today's Daily 5:

1. A hot shower
2. Another deep and much needed sleep
3. Watching a Christmas movie, and knitting
4. blue jello
5. curled up on a couch reading

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 109

Today's Daily 5:

1. A much needed super long sleep-in
2. a very quiet day
3. tea and a chat with a new friend
4. the unexpected chance to test a new perspective
5. getting home safely when it started blizzarding unexpectedly tonight

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 108

Yesterday's Daily 5:

1. A short day at work
2. Christmas fruit bread
3. a long afternoon of rest
4. time with T and L
5. laughing at episodes of Frasier on DVD

Friday!

It's Friday!

(well, actually, it's Thursday night when I'm writing this, but by the time this goes live, it will be Friday.)

This week I'm particularly excited to welcome the weekend.

It's been a rough week at the office, for lots of reasons that I can't go into here.  Let's just say that I'm thankful that this particular temp contract is ending in short order.

It's been harder still since I haven't been feeling well physically.  I'm battling a cold that has settled into a wracking (how do you spell that?) dry cough, and on top of that I contracted a mild stomach bug that has rather limited my appetite and food intake (and thus energy).

I'm really excited for a weekend.

With one brief exception, and maybe a couple of errands, I plan to spend it catching up on rest, and hopefully carving out a bit of silence.  My parents will be away for a good chunk of the day on Saturday, so I'm hoping to curl up in my favorite recliner in their living room and carve out some quiet space for rest and restoration.  I need to carve out that space.

And so, today, though I really do try to remember the lesson I began to learn on that humorous day I was hijacked by Stan, I'm not so much postponing joy, as anticipating the greater measure of it that will come with the weekend.  Not too many hours to go...

Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 107

Today's Daily 5:

1. Feeling even marginally better than I've felt for most of the last week
2. the hugs and smiles of some friends
3. an unexpected invitation to explore the gift of a differing perspective
4. laughing as I retold a truly ridiculous encounter I had last week
5. the chance to pray together with friends

Bread That Satisfies

I'm still thinking about Jesus describing himself as the Bread of Life.

This week it's a poignant image, as I've struggled for several days with a cold and stomach bug that has left me able to eat little except bread.

I've been hungry as I've gone whole days without being able to stomach any food, and nothing has sounded so good as a slice of toast.  Nothing has sounded as good as bread with perhaps a little butter and jam or honey.  I literally ache for that bread to fill me and satisfy.

I thought about that this morning, pondering the moment where I found myself wandering through the grocery store, stocking up on foods that would be palatable, and finding myself genuinely excited over the prospect of purchasing a freshly baked loaf of soft bread.

And I wondered, as I walked and pondered that excitement, how often do I also hunger for Jesus in this way?  How often do I ache for Him, the Living Bread, to come and fill me?  How often do I allow Him to satisfy my hungers?

It's a reminder I needed this morning, and one I will continue to ponder.