I am struggling with scheduling issues at the moment... with figuring out which things can stay, and which might need to go, to make space for the time I'm increasingly feeling is necessary to spend with Jesus in this season.
This week in particular is extraordinarily busy - something scheduled after work every night. All lovely and wonderful things, all things I think that God is in, none of them things that can be dropped or postponed.
I told a friend last night that it's becoming clear to me that this week I'm going to have to steal those moments of peace and rest wherever I can find them. Taking the bus for an hour and half home each day, grocery shopping alone, standing in the shower, as I'm studying to prepare for the small group I lead that meets this week, walking to meet various friends for tea and coffee dates, resting in my chair for a few minutes before bed, with candles and incense...
I believe that Jesus is present in the busyness and in the rest, I'm just feeling a need to change the balance of busyness and rest in my life for a season. But for this week, I'm trusting that He'll honor the moments of rest that I'm able to steal, and gift me with His presence in a tangible way.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Sunday, October 14, 2007
he anoints my head...
I was standing under the shower a little while ago, talking with Jesus. I do some of my best praying, standing there alone, under the hot water, with no other distractions.
This morning I was talking to him about a commitment I've made to teach Sunday School until Christmas... one that will tie up three Sunday mornings a month... one that I made on impulse, and regret, just a little... I love the girls, but my schedule is full, and the idea of preparing one extra lesson most weeks is making me tired right now as I adapt to many other changes and drains on my time and energy (most of which make me feel far more alive than sitting in a French elementary school library on Sunday mornings and trying to teach).
So I stood under the shower and talked with Jesus. I told him I was tired, and worn out, and that I wasn't even feeling excited about talking about him to this group of girls this morning, that I really wanted to stay home and do laundry, and clean off my desk, and create some mental space for heading into a new week. I told Him that he was going to have to give me energy and enthusiasm and strength enough for what promises to be a busy day, without much margin for creating space.
And I began to hear a line from Scripture... "he anoints my head with oil". So I stood there under the shower, and let the warm water run down my face, and prayed that He would anoint my head as I go into this day...
A few weeks ago, a dear friend quite literally anointed my head and hands with oil, praying silently for me as we prepared to enter into an evening of prayer and ministry. It's a memory I treasure, though she never spoke a word aloud. I felt her prayers in the deep places of my spirit, and I remember that night as a bit of a turning point, as I once again engaged in new things in prayer, as one in which I allowed Jesus to draw me deeper into Himself, and thus make me more fully myself, for I've discovered that the moments when I'm most alive, most myself, are the moments when I am most deeply connected to what Jesus is doing in a time or place.
When I got out of the shower, I googled the passage of scripture I'd been hearing. It took some work, since apparently I was hearing a mixture of versions, but I found this, a line from Psalm 23, in the New Living Translation...
"You honor me by anointing my head with oil."
I love the concept of honor. Such a deep and beautiful thing... I feel a little bit as if Jesus is telling me this morning that he will honor my commitment, that He will be present, and pour his anointing over the morning.
As for the intensity of the commitment - I'm going to talk to the guy in charge of Sunday school this morning, and tell him that we need to find another teacher, even if they only want to do one Sunday a month. I've got curriculum for them, but I need to teach at least one less time a month... We either need to find one more teacher, or the girls can sit in the sermon twice a month instead of only once.
This morning I was talking to him about a commitment I've made to teach Sunday School until Christmas... one that will tie up three Sunday mornings a month... one that I made on impulse, and regret, just a little... I love the girls, but my schedule is full, and the idea of preparing one extra lesson most weeks is making me tired right now as I adapt to many other changes and drains on my time and energy (most of which make me feel far more alive than sitting in a French elementary school library on Sunday mornings and trying to teach).
So I stood under the shower and talked with Jesus. I told him I was tired, and worn out, and that I wasn't even feeling excited about talking about him to this group of girls this morning, that I really wanted to stay home and do laundry, and clean off my desk, and create some mental space for heading into a new week. I told Him that he was going to have to give me energy and enthusiasm and strength enough for what promises to be a busy day, without much margin for creating space.
And I began to hear a line from Scripture... "he anoints my head with oil". So I stood there under the shower, and let the warm water run down my face, and prayed that He would anoint my head as I go into this day...
A few weeks ago, a dear friend quite literally anointed my head and hands with oil, praying silently for me as we prepared to enter into an evening of prayer and ministry. It's a memory I treasure, though she never spoke a word aloud. I felt her prayers in the deep places of my spirit, and I remember that night as a bit of a turning point, as I once again engaged in new things in prayer, as one in which I allowed Jesus to draw me deeper into Himself, and thus make me more fully myself, for I've discovered that the moments when I'm most alive, most myself, are the moments when I am most deeply connected to what Jesus is doing in a time or place.
When I got out of the shower, I googled the passage of scripture I'd been hearing. It took some work, since apparently I was hearing a mixture of versions, but I found this, a line from Psalm 23, in the New Living Translation...
"You honor me by anointing my head with oil."
I love the concept of honor. Such a deep and beautiful thing... I feel a little bit as if Jesus is telling me this morning that he will honor my commitment, that He will be present, and pour his anointing over the morning.
As for the intensity of the commitment - I'm going to talk to the guy in charge of Sunday school this morning, and tell him that we need to find another teacher, even if they only want to do one Sunday a month. I've got curriculum for them, but I need to teach at least one less time a month... We either need to find one more teacher, or the girls can sit in the sermon twice a month instead of only once.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Staying Alive
I'm all about the really subtle, sly reminders lately.
About praying with a cup of starbucks tea.
About lighting candles and burning incense as prayers in a room before people show up to occupy it.
About the clouds sparkling glory, and falling leaves reminding me of deep things.
About the shocking moments when Jesus shows up somewhat unexpectedly and gives life.
Today, the shirt I'm wearing for work is my reminder. It's a cute, casual shirt (thank God for casual Friday!). Bright red, with a picture of a flamenco dancer printed in black on the front.
What you have to look really closely to see is that her dress is not so much a dress as it is a reminder. The dress is formed from two words - "Stayin' Alive"
It's reminding me that my goal is to occupy as much of my time as possible with the moments where I feel truly alive. Moments like the ones I mentioned. Moments like last night over tea with a friend.
Things that make me smile and laugh and fill me with joy at the deep sense of the hands and presence of Jesus.
About praying with a cup of starbucks tea.
About lighting candles and burning incense as prayers in a room before people show up to occupy it.
About the clouds sparkling glory, and falling leaves reminding me of deep things.
About the shocking moments when Jesus shows up somewhat unexpectedly and gives life.
Today, the shirt I'm wearing for work is my reminder. It's a cute, casual shirt (thank God for casual Friday!). Bright red, with a picture of a flamenco dancer printed in black on the front.
What you have to look really closely to see is that her dress is not so much a dress as it is a reminder. The dress is formed from two words - "Stayin' Alive"
It's reminding me that my goal is to occupy as much of my time as possible with the moments where I feel truly alive. Moments like the ones I mentioned. Moments like last night over tea with a friend.
Things that make me smile and laugh and fill me with joy at the deep sense of the hands and presence of Jesus.
One of the 10 Most Beautiful Destinations in the World
How many people are lucky enough to sense God calling them to what has been voted by a variety of web editors one of the 10 most beautiful destinations in the world? I am!
I read this article this morning, naming Machu Picchu one of the 10 most beautiful destinations in the world. It made me smile!
I read this article this morning, naming Machu Picchu one of the 10 most beautiful destinations in the world. It made me smile!
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Overwhelmed
Jesus is continually surprising me...
Yesterday was 24 of the worst hours I've experienced in a very long time.
Most of today was really hard too.
And then, then I spent an hour on the bus reading, took a train, and met a wonderful young lady for coffee.
And Jesus showed up in ways I'd never have expected... I could go on for hours, but suffice to say that I felt truly alive tonight...
I had the privilege of telling a really great young lady who's in the midst of some difficult challenges that there is nothing I'd rather do then be her friend, and walk with her in the midst of the difficulties, and pray for and with her.
I'm surprised and overwhelmed with joy tonight...
Yesterday was 24 of the worst hours I've experienced in a very long time.
Most of today was really hard too.
And then, then I spent an hour on the bus reading, took a train, and met a wonderful young lady for coffee.
And Jesus showed up in ways I'd never have expected... I could go on for hours, but suffice to say that I felt truly alive tonight...
I had the privilege of telling a really great young lady who's in the midst of some difficult challenges that there is nothing I'd rather do then be her friend, and walk with her in the midst of the difficulties, and pray for and with her.
I'm surprised and overwhelmed with joy tonight...
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