- Listening to T & L lead worship this morning
- laughing at a particularly awkward phrasing in church this morning with J and his girlfriend R
- enjoying chatting with some missionaries that are staying with mom and dad right now
- time enjoying family in a low key way
- venti iced passion tea lemonade
Sunday, August 08, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 359
Today's Daily 5:
Saturday, August 07, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 358
Today was my 27th birthday. That only bears mentioning because many years, and last year especially, my birthday has been a very hard day for me. In fact, some of the crazy, hard emotions that surfaced on my birthday weekend last year were the reason I ultimately started making these daily 5 lists. I started making them about a week after my birthday, as I began to process some of the hard, new realizations about life and about choosing joy that sprang from my birthday weekend.
And so, with thankfulness, here is today's daily 5 list:
And so, with thankfulness, here is today's daily 5 list:
- I'm thankful for another year
- I'm thankful for family and friends who love me
- I'm especially thankful today for all of the unique friends I've made via the blogging community - I so love each of you, and love hearing from you, and your unique comments and insights both in comments here and in your writing on your own blogs.
- I'm thankful for time spent outside of the city today
- I'm thankful for the first day in ages without any school commitments
- I'm thankful for the reminder that showing up here each evening to make this list really is in my days - to constantly choose joy, to keep an eye out for things that would make good list items and really notice the things in my days that bring smiles.
- I'm thankful for a line in a Rob Bell teaching dvd that I watched again recently "You don't have to live like this." and the freedom that line offered
- I'm thankful for 27 years of life
- I'm thankful for brothers with a way better eye for clothes than I have (how unfair is that, by the way??) who use their talent to buy their sister new hoodies and things for her birthday
- I'm thankful for a day without tears, and with many smiles.
The Book of Awesome
Have you heard of this book or blog yet? It's like a daily 5 list on steroids, and some of the posts are brilliant!
I've only been reading the blog so far, but my plan is to get the book ASAP. I think it'll become my go-to pick me up when I need a reminder about the simple but beautiful things in the world.
Some of my favorite posts so far (of the ones I've read):
Friday, August 06, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 357
Today's Daily 5:
- Leftover Vietnamese food for lunch (absolutely my all time favorite Ethnic food)
- making homemade garlic butter for the garlic bread that went with lasagna tonight
- a day where the school work was light, and finished early
- not setting an alarm this morning
- watching old episodes of Grey's Anatomy on dvd
Now
I talked yesterday about my brokenness and mental illness soapboxes and about walking honestly.
And then I came across this post from Anne Jackson earlier this week.
She wrote about the story of now.
I don't like my now story.
I talked about story at the beginning of the year, when I was reading Donald Miller's book "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years." About wanting to write a better story with my life.
If I look at my list, I have to admit that a lot of those plans for the year died when I lost my job and unexpectedly found myself duckless and changing direction in life. Even U2 had to be indefinitely postponed (though I suspect that Bono's back surgery is not directly correlated to the ending of my employment tenure).
I started telling a different story when I enrolled in some university courses for the summer to begin to move towards a career in nursing.
And God had some story ideas too.
His involve healing and freedom.
And a process to get to those things that is anything but pretty.
Unless of course, you're using "pretty" in a sentence such as this, "It pretty much sucks, actually."
My now story involves a lot of days that are spent in tears.
In an seemingly constant and intensifying battle with fears that have controlled me for years.
Fears that are fighting hard to stay as they surface in new ways and I desire freedom and healing.
It involves stomach aches, and panic attacks, and frustration.
It involves relational tensions and discussions about boundaries and other things that involve my heart and stir insecurities.
It involves insecurities and self-image and self-worth.
And working to change long ingrained mindsets.
It involves identifying lies, and working through the (seemingly endless) process of replacing them with truth.
It involves family, and faith, and friends and sleepless nights and cloudy days.
This is my story of now.
And my gut response would be to go with the earlier statement - it pretty much sucks.
But something in me knows that this is good.
That God holds my hand and walks with me even in this.
That His hands are in these things surfacing now, when I don't have full-time employment to cope with too.
That He is offering freedom at the same time as directing me down this new path towards nursing.
It pretty much sucks. But it's good. Dichotomy and mystery. Healing through pain. Freedom after the fear really intensifies (and it encourages me, oddly, that the fear has intensified, that it is trying to hang on. it seems to only do that when there is hope that it will really and truly go.)
This is my now story.
And then I came across this post from Anne Jackson earlier this week.
She wrote about the story of now.
I don't like my now story.
I talked about story at the beginning of the year, when I was reading Donald Miller's book "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years." About wanting to write a better story with my life.
If I look at my list, I have to admit that a lot of those plans for the year died when I lost my job and unexpectedly found myself duckless and changing direction in life. Even U2 had to be indefinitely postponed (though I suspect that Bono's back surgery is not directly correlated to the ending of my employment tenure).
I started telling a different story when I enrolled in some university courses for the summer to begin to move towards a career in nursing.
And God had some story ideas too.
His involve healing and freedom.
And a process to get to those things that is anything but pretty.
Unless of course, you're using "pretty" in a sentence such as this, "It pretty much sucks, actually."
My now story involves a lot of days that are spent in tears.
In an seemingly constant and intensifying battle with fears that have controlled me for years.
Fears that are fighting hard to stay as they surface in new ways and I desire freedom and healing.
It involves stomach aches, and panic attacks, and frustration.
It involves relational tensions and discussions about boundaries and other things that involve my heart and stir insecurities.
It involves insecurities and self-image and self-worth.
And working to change long ingrained mindsets.
It involves identifying lies, and working through the (seemingly endless) process of replacing them with truth.
It involves family, and faith, and friends and sleepless nights and cloudy days.
This is my story of now.
And my gut response would be to go with the earlier statement - it pretty much sucks.
But something in me knows that this is good.
That God holds my hand and walks with me even in this.
That His hands are in these things surfacing now, when I don't have full-time employment to cope with too.
That He is offering freedom at the same time as directing me down this new path towards nursing.
It pretty much sucks. But it's good. Dichotomy and mystery. Healing through pain. Freedom after the fear really intensifies (and it encourages me, oddly, that the fear has intensified, that it is trying to hang on. it seems to only do that when there is hope that it will really and truly go.)
This is my now story.
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