The In-Between

I woke this morning from unsettling dreams again.

I can't pinpoint why this particular set has left me unsettled.  I can't even remember most of the images or plot-lines, though the few I recall are more ridiculous than anything else.

But I'm unsettled.

I woke, too, to the thought that I'm now officially tired of transition.

Of this in-between place.

I just want to be moved.

If this move is so clearly what God has next for me, then let's get on with it already.

Wouldn't it be nice if life worked like that?  God's guidance became clear, and you just walked on into it.

No period of transition or preparation.

No "in-between."

My life doesn't work like that.

There are lessons, I think, in the "in-between", but I find it a stressful time.  It wears on me.  The dreams and odd thoughts grow more intense.  My tolerance grows shorter, and my mood less patient. 

I think the in-between creates a longing that is healthy - a readyness for the new place God is leading, the new season.

But in me, the in-between is also revealing.  Revealing of true character.  Of flaws and issues left to be resolved.

Lent starts tomorrow.

It's a season of "in-between" built into the yearly church calendar, and a season that always impacts me profoundly.

That long season of waiting for new life, while moving inexorably towards death.

A season that feels like a contradiction in terms.

Apparently I'm going to need to make peace with the in-between.

On the short term, with waiting for moving to be complete, and for the moment of saying goodbye to my roommate, who has become a dear friend in the two years we've lived together.

On the slightly longer term in waiting to find a vehicle.

And on the slightly longer term yet, in waiting for the arrival of Easter.

I'm living in the "in-between" and it's a rather revealing place.

Daily 5 - Day 187

Today's Daily 5:

1. Mountains.  Lots of them.  And clean fresh air.  Without ever having to be the one behind the wheel on at times sketchy winter roads.
2. Sat in the hotsprings for a while.  My still aching muscles appreciated that greatly
3. Loved the British accent of the guy who made my Sri Lankan Chicken Satay pita for lunch today
4. Found a birthday gift for a dear friend.
5. Loved reading this post at Anne Jackson's blog.

Mountains

I'm heading for the mountains with my aunt and parents today.

A soak in the hotsprings, and time outside of the city, breathing.

Definitely looking forward to it.

Daily 5 - Day 186

Today's Daily 5:

1. Seeing the story of Canada's first gold medallist's relationship with his older brother who has cerebral palsy.  A beautiful story.
2. Surprise engagement party for T & L tonight
3. Had a productive morning, cleaning the apartment (it was being shown tonight) and just generally doing some stuff that needed to be done.  It felt nice to do that at an unhurried pace.
4. Love that I still have one more day of weekend left.  Such a needed break at the moment.
5. Loving that I can watch the major Canadian olympic coverage via livestream over the internet - meaning I can watch it from bed :)

Valentines Day

I'm single, so Valentine's Day isn't really a big deal in my life.  It's just another day.  I'm not going to get flowers or chocolates today, except maybe from my grandma, who has a tendency to occasionally deliver a box of ice-cream bars to mom and dad's house on odd "holidays" like Valentine's Day.

But, ever since I was in Rome, returning just before Valentine's,  on Valentines Day I always think of being in a strange little church, and seeing the relic of St. Valentine.

I'm a history major, and I know that most relics aren't real.  I saw a few different relics while in Europe, including two relics of Paul while in Malta.  But here's the catch.  I think there's something fascinating in the veneration of relics, of the saints.  I don't have well formed opinions, just thoughts, and I am fascinated by the faith and devotion to these things.

I took a few photos of the relic of St. Valentine.  I don't have them available for upload to this post, but you can find them in a facebook album here.