Letting Go of Our Fear of God - Henri Nouwen

Another interesting reflection from Henri Nouwen...

Letting Go of Our Fear of God

We are afraid of emptiness. Spinoza speaks about our "horror vacui," our horrendous fear of vacancy. We like to occupy-fill up-every empty time and space. We want to be occupied. And if we are not occupied we easily become preoccupied; that is, we fill the empty spaces before we have even reached them. We fill them with our worries, saying, "But what if ..."

It is very hard to allow emptiness to exist in our lives. Emptiness requires a willingness not to be in control, a willingness to let something new and unexpected happen. It requires trust, surrender, and openness to guidance. God wants to dwell in our emptiness. But as long as we are afraid of God and God's actions in our lives, it is unlikely that we will offer our emptiness to God. Let's pray that we can let go of our fear of God and embrace God as the source of all love.

Thankful

I need to make a things I'm thankful for list this morning. I need the perspective.

I'm thankful for:

• the fact that even though a couple of inches of snow fell overnight, it is not correspondingly freezing cold.
• the fact that I work for a company that exists, at least in part, to donate a large portion of it's profits to Mennonite Central Committee Alberta - essentially funding works of justice all over the world
• chocolate cupcakes left over from yesterday's staff meeting, for breakfast.
• g-mail chat
• eyes that see
• lunch being provided for us at work today
• the long-time friends like James, who hung out even when he wanted to strangle me, when I was the crankiest, nastiest person to be around, in the midst of the worst of my depression
• friends with a huge heart for various parts of the world, like Megs and Marty and Kari
• a sense of the nearness of Jesus in the midst of this painful season of Lent
• my friendship with Shelley, who laughs at my sarcasm, makes me laugh in return, won't let me avoid anything, and generally holds me accountable to being the person God seems to be calling me to be
• a friend at work who laughs in all the right places when I'm sarcastic and cranky, or have a "blond" moment, and dishes back just as much as I give out
• mandarin oranges from Pakistan
• bottled water
• home-made muffins
• Passion tea
• Vanilla rooibos tea
• a job that promises not to be "slow and boring" anytime soon
• all the little things that remind me to pray
• having found the "nearly perfect" journal for processing my trip in a couple of weeks ago
• suddenly having the burning desire to write again - constantly. my journals usually take two years or so to fill. the new one was begun on February 14th and is now 1/3 full, with no signs of slowing
• dreams of future travels - Israel, Peru, Pakistan/India, back to Europe, and yes, probably Africa
• moments of redemption, big and small
• the moments when the words begin to pour from my heart onto a page, and release is granted for my soul
• incense (in stick and pebble form)
• candles
• skirts that fit, even when my dress pants don't
• scarves - I love scarves.
• cute earrings
• a best friend who brings me things like scarves and bracelets and earrings from all over the world
• friends who are committed to prayer
• various things from all over the world that surround the corner of my bedroom where I sit to pray, and remind me of my ever-growing heart for the nations

Lent Hurts

I wrote the following couple lines in an email to a friend tonight, and realized, as I looked back over them, that I want to share them, here, too, because they are strongly definitive of my journey, and of who I am and the space I'm presently occupying.

"I've decided that Lent hurts. That for me this year, it's about ripping things down, things I've held on to for too long. About not avoiding, but diving right smack dab into the center of the turmoil and the pain, and then hoping for the strength and ability to swim."

Defining Hope

A friend and I are batting around the questions, "how is hope defined?" and "what is hope?", and I've decided to solicit your opinions.

Leave me a comment telling me how you would answer one or both of these questions.

Creating Space for God - Henri Nouwen

Another challenging reminder from Henri Nouwen.


Creating Space for God

Discipline is the other side of discipleship. Discipleship without discipline is like waiting to run in the marathon without ever practicing. Discipline without discipleship is like always practicing for the marathon but never participating. It is important, however, to realize that discipline in the spiritual life is not the same as discipline in sports. Discipline in sports is the concentrated effort to master the body so that it can obey the mind better. Discipline in the spiritual life is the concentrated effort to create the space and time where God can become our master and where we can respond freely to God's guidance.

Thus, discipline is the creation of boundaries that keep time and space open for God. Solitude requires discipline, worship requires discipline, caring for others requires discipline. They all ask us to set apart a time and a place where God's gracious presence can be acknowledged and responded to.