I love this bit from Henri Nouwen. The idea of the importance of the weakest among us, the ones who hold us together and add dignity, childlikeness, beauty.
The Weakest in the Center
The most honored parts of the body are not the head or the hands, which lead and control. The most important parts are the least presentable parts. That's the mystery of the Church. As a people called out of oppression to freedom, we must recognize that it is the weakest among us - the elderly, the small children, the handicapped, the mentally ill, the hungry and sick - who form the real center. Paul says, "It is the parts of the body which we consider least dignified, that we surround with the greatest dignity" (1 Corinthians 12:23).
The Church as the people of God can truly embody of the living Christ among us only when the poor remain its most treasured part. Care for the poor, therefore, is much more than Christian charity. It is the essence of being the body of Christ.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
tired...
I think I slept about 3 hours last night, maybe 4. I woke over and over again.
So many things on my mind and heart. And dreams - always the dreams.
Friends in tough spaces. Grief. Anxiety. Fear.
My own weird pastor's kid day yesterday...
Mom had some health issues today - things that had the potential to be serious. She was home alone, which concerned me. Worked out okay - she managed to takes medication in time to stop the onslaught of the worse symptoms she's had in the past.
My baby brother is having surgery later this week to hopefully allow him to go back to playing guitar.
Went to a lecture tonight. My favorite prof from university, lecturing on the topics I loved. So good to use that part of my brain again.
Praying for sleep tonight. The dreamless, non-waking kind.
Praying for friends and family.
Praying for health and safety, for protection over the lives of many.
Have spent much of today making mental "smile lists" - needing to make choices for joy and thankfulness in the midst of some heavier things.
So in love with Jesus, and so confused with how wildly up and down that plays out in real life.
I'm going to bed. I need to sleep, and regain perspective.
See you tomorrow.
So many things on my mind and heart. And dreams - always the dreams.
Friends in tough spaces. Grief. Anxiety. Fear.
My own weird pastor's kid day yesterday...
Mom had some health issues today - things that had the potential to be serious. She was home alone, which concerned me. Worked out okay - she managed to takes medication in time to stop the onslaught of the worse symptoms she's had in the past.
My baby brother is having surgery later this week to hopefully allow him to go back to playing guitar.
Went to a lecture tonight. My favorite prof from university, lecturing on the topics I loved. So good to use that part of my brain again.
Praying for sleep tonight. The dreamless, non-waking kind.
Praying for friends and family.
Praying for health and safety, for protection over the lives of many.
Have spent much of today making mental "smile lists" - needing to make choices for joy and thankfulness in the midst of some heavier things.
So in love with Jesus, and so confused with how wildly up and down that plays out in real life.
I'm going to bed. I need to sleep, and regain perspective.
See you tomorrow.
Ouch!
I promise a post full of my thoughts sometime later today... (or with at least some of my own thoughts!) However, in the meantime, given the odd churchy day I had yesterday, and the things I'm wrestling with, these two bits from Henri Nouwen (particularly the first one) stung a bit this morning...
Forgiving the Church
When we have been wounded by the Church, our temptation is to reject it. But when we reject the Church it becomes very hard for us to keep in touch with the living Christ. When we say, "I love Jesus, but I hate the Church," we end up losing not only the Church but Jesus too. The challenge is to forgive the Church. This challenge is especially great because the Church seldom asks us for forgiveness, at least not officially. But the Church as an often fallible human organization needs our forgiveness, while the Church as the living Christ among us continues to offer us forgiveness.
It is important to think about the Church not as "over there" but as a community of struggling, weak people of whom we are part and in whom we meet our Lord and Redeemer.
Our Spiritual Leaders
The Church as the body of Christ has many faces. The Church prays and worships. It speaks words of instruction and healing, cleanses us from our sins, invites us to the table of the Lord, binds us together in a covenant of love, sends us out to minister, anoints us when we are sick or dying, and accompanies us in our search for meaning and our daily need for support. All these faces might not come to us from those we look up to as our leaders. But when we live our lives with a simple trust that Jesus comes to us in our Church, we will see the Church's ministry in places and in faces where we least expect it.
If we truly love Jesus, Jesus will send us the people to give us what we most need. And they are our spiritual leaders.
Forgiving the Church
When we have been wounded by the Church, our temptation is to reject it. But when we reject the Church it becomes very hard for us to keep in touch with the living Christ. When we say, "I love Jesus, but I hate the Church," we end up losing not only the Church but Jesus too. The challenge is to forgive the Church. This challenge is especially great because the Church seldom asks us for forgiveness, at least not officially. But the Church as an often fallible human organization needs our forgiveness, while the Church as the living Christ among us continues to offer us forgiveness.
It is important to think about the Church not as "over there" but as a community of struggling, weak people of whom we are part and in whom we meet our Lord and Redeemer.
Our Spiritual Leaders
The Church as the body of Christ has many faces. The Church prays and worships. It speaks words of instruction and healing, cleanses us from our sins, invites us to the table of the Lord, binds us together in a covenant of love, sends us out to minister, anoints us when we are sick or dying, and accompanies us in our search for meaning and our daily need for support. All these faces might not come to us from those we look up to as our leaders. But when we live our lives with a simple trust that Jesus comes to us in our Church, we will see the Church's ministry in places and in faces where we least expect it.
If we truly love Jesus, Jesus will send us the people to give us what we most need. And they are our spiritual leaders.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
working to receive...
okay, so... church this morning was.... interesting...
feeling confused at the moment, frustrated, uncertain...
they thanked our family for the example we've been over the years... I hope everyone had their eyes closed during that moment of prayer... I'm pretty sure my face would have betrayed me at that moment... lots of pastor's kid frustration buried in that word "example"....
working to receive the other things they prayed, beautiful, sincere, thankful things... feeling like they're getting lost in the conflicted stuff having to do with my feelings having to do with being a pastor's kid, with resentment over being made an example for so many years...
feeling confused at the moment, frustrated, uncertain...
they thanked our family for the example we've been over the years... I hope everyone had their eyes closed during that moment of prayer... I'm pretty sure my face would have betrayed me at that moment... lots of pastor's kid frustration buried in that word "example"....
working to receive the other things they prayed, beautiful, sincere, thankful things... feeling like they're getting lost in the conflicted stuff having to do with my feelings having to do with being a pastor's kid, with resentment over being made an example for so many years...
thinking about church again
So here's a realization I woke up with this morning, one that kind of unnerves me given that I've spent the week putting posts from Henri Nouwen on my blog, telling me why I need to love the church.
I don't have any motivation to get out of bed on Sunday morning and go to church unless I'm scheduled to teach Sunday school that day. Unless I have a job to do, I don't want to be there.
Thing is, I still love the idea of church, but the church I'm at is frustrating. I know Jesus is working there, I know I'm supposed to be there, but at this moment, I think I hate it. Or at least resent the fact that I'm supposed to be there.
It's just that in my head, church is about meeting with God, in the presence of other people who are meeting with God alongside you. It's also about meeting God in conversations, in prayer, in worship - all of this done with people who have shared hearts with you (no matter how many differences in personality, opinion, etc. you have).
Church for me lately has been happening in coffee shops, in shopping malls, restaurants, long phone calls with friends, in moments in my bedroom with candles and incense, in moments on the bus, in a small group that meets in my living room every couple weeks, in lunch dates and email conversations.
This morning I'd love to stay at home, but it's not an option. True, I'm not teaching Sunday school today, but every year on the last Sunday of October, the church I've been going to for most of the last 14 years has done a "pastor's appreciation Sunday". So, in favor of the whole "honor your father and mother" thing, I need to be at church this morning.
ugh. tired, not excited, but trusting that even in the moments when I least want to be there, Jesus will honor the whole "where 2 or 3 are gathered" principle and I'll meet with him somewhere over the course of the morning or day.
I don't have any motivation to get out of bed on Sunday morning and go to church unless I'm scheduled to teach Sunday school that day. Unless I have a job to do, I don't want to be there.
Thing is, I still love the idea of church, but the church I'm at is frustrating. I know Jesus is working there, I know I'm supposed to be there, but at this moment, I think I hate it. Or at least resent the fact that I'm supposed to be there.
It's just that in my head, church is about meeting with God, in the presence of other people who are meeting with God alongside you. It's also about meeting God in conversations, in prayer, in worship - all of this done with people who have shared hearts with you (no matter how many differences in personality, opinion, etc. you have).
Church for me lately has been happening in coffee shops, in shopping malls, restaurants, long phone calls with friends, in moments in my bedroom with candles and incense, in moments on the bus, in a small group that meets in my living room every couple weeks, in lunch dates and email conversations.
This morning I'd love to stay at home, but it's not an option. True, I'm not teaching Sunday school today, but every year on the last Sunday of October, the church I've been going to for most of the last 14 years has done a "pastor's appreciation Sunday". So, in favor of the whole "honor your father and mother" thing, I need to be at church this morning.
ugh. tired, not excited, but trusting that even in the moments when I least want to be there, Jesus will honor the whole "where 2 or 3 are gathered" principle and I'll meet with him somewhere over the course of the morning or day.
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