I'm going to spend some time this week praying and re-evaluating the whole girl's Bible study thing. I talked with the pastor I work with this morning, since he was at my house for a meeting with the church board anyway. We're going to meet sometime this week and do some re-evaluating. I think I may do girl's hang out nights or something for a while, something to build some relationships and create some community among the girls, hopefully bust through some of the pre-existing cliques and create a larger sense of belonging.
I had one girl show up this morning. We skipped the study in favor of breakfast at Denny's. Pancakes, hashbrowns, sausages, and good conversation. A good chance to connect and talk to her about the things that have been going on in her life the last while.
I'm not sure where this will go next... have to spend some time figuring that out.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Compliments?
I was thinking yesterday about giving and receiving compliments.
I wore my hair in a different way than usual to work, by virtue of the fact that I overslept in the morning, and woke to curly hair going in every direction. With some quick work, I twisted it and piled it on top of my head in a fashion that looked cute (to me, in my bleary eyed early morning state, staring blankly at the mirror!) and seemed to show off the various red and blond shades that I paid a great deal of money to have added to my natural colors over a three hour time slot last weekend.
Apparently, however, the new style paid off, and I received a number of compliments on the style, and on my choice of clothing (also quick and utilitarian - designed around the fact that I had known I would be spending a large chunk of yesterday afternoon re-potting the office plants, and mucking around in the dirt).
However, there was one coworker (whom I generally find rather difficult to respect) who may have been trying (on two different occasions) to pay a genuine compliment, but came off as basically telling me that I should dress and wear my hair in this manner more regularly, because this looked "pretty" and the other ways and clothes do not.
The whole situation reminded me of the need to frame words carefully - to pay attention to even things like the tone with which they are delivered. I'm not sure this coworker in any way intended to be rude and critical (though he does have a general tendency to be tempermental and concerned about everything but his own job), but he came off this way none-the-less.
I wore my hair in a different way than usual to work, by virtue of the fact that I overslept in the morning, and woke to curly hair going in every direction. With some quick work, I twisted it and piled it on top of my head in a fashion that looked cute (to me, in my bleary eyed early morning state, staring blankly at the mirror!) and seemed to show off the various red and blond shades that I paid a great deal of money to have added to my natural colors over a three hour time slot last weekend.
Apparently, however, the new style paid off, and I received a number of compliments on the style, and on my choice of clothing (also quick and utilitarian - designed around the fact that I had known I would be spending a large chunk of yesterday afternoon re-potting the office plants, and mucking around in the dirt).
However, there was one coworker (whom I generally find rather difficult to respect) who may have been trying (on two different occasions) to pay a genuine compliment, but came off as basically telling me that I should dress and wear my hair in this manner more regularly, because this looked "pretty" and the other ways and clothes do not.
The whole situation reminded me of the need to frame words carefully - to pay attention to even things like the tone with which they are delivered. I'm not sure this coworker in any way intended to be rude and critical (though he does have a general tendency to be tempermental and concerned about everything but his own job), but he came off this way none-the-less.
Friday, March 09, 2007
Procrastinating
Right at this moment I should be preparing a Bible study. I have to teach one to a bunch of senior high and university girls tomorrow morning, and at this moment, with about 12 hours to go (hopefully some of those spent sleeping!) I have no earthly idea what we're going to talk about. We're supposed to be working our way through the Gospel of Mark, or at least that was my original plan, but I'm feeling somewhat uninspired about that plan just presently.
I'm finding it a rather immense challenge to lead a study for this group of girls. I never know who's coming from one week to the next, whether I'll have one girl, or three, or more (though I've never had more). The girls who had been regular attenders to this point can't make it tomorrow for an assortment of reasons, so it'll be a completely new bunch, with only one confirmed to be attending so far. Sometimes I wonder if we jumped into the whole study thing too soon? The youth pastor I'm working with was keen to get something started for the girls (he had the guys angle covered) but I have to wonder at times if it wasn't just that he wanted something to be happening for girls too? We may have rushed it a bit. I don't have huge levels of relationship or trust with most of the girls yet (though I do with some of the guys - mostly because I watched them grow up, while the girls are all new to the church). I'm just not entirely sure that this study is producing anything worthwhile, and that we shouldn't simply be organizing times of getting to know each other better, having coffees, shopping, and doing the things girls do together that still allow for great conversation, but take the pressure off...
Hard to say...
Well, now that I've lit candles around my room (maybe atmosphere is good for inspiration?) and procrastinated by writing a blog post, I suppose I better go do some praying, and see what I can come up with.
Is it really bad that I'm kind of hoping only one girl will show up, and then we can scrap the study entirely in favor of heading to a coffee shop to spend some time getting to know each other a bit better?
I'm finding it a rather immense challenge to lead a study for this group of girls. I never know who's coming from one week to the next, whether I'll have one girl, or three, or more (though I've never had more). The girls who had been regular attenders to this point can't make it tomorrow for an assortment of reasons, so it'll be a completely new bunch, with only one confirmed to be attending so far. Sometimes I wonder if we jumped into the whole study thing too soon? The youth pastor I'm working with was keen to get something started for the girls (he had the guys angle covered) but I have to wonder at times if it wasn't just that he wanted something to be happening for girls too? We may have rushed it a bit. I don't have huge levels of relationship or trust with most of the girls yet (though I do with some of the guys - mostly because I watched them grow up, while the girls are all new to the church). I'm just not entirely sure that this study is producing anything worthwhile, and that we shouldn't simply be organizing times of getting to know each other better, having coffees, shopping, and doing the things girls do together that still allow for great conversation, but take the pressure off...
Hard to say...
Well, now that I've lit candles around my room (maybe atmosphere is good for inspiration?) and procrastinated by writing a blog post, I suppose I better go do some praying, and see what I can come up with.
Is it really bad that I'm kind of hoping only one girl will show up, and then we can scrap the study entirely in favor of heading to a coffee shop to spend some time getting to know each other a bit better?
Thursday, March 08, 2007
An Affinity for a Dreaming King
I just came home from the final gathering of a Bible study that I've been a part of off and on since September. It's been taught by a brilliant teacher (though the group was entirely awkward) and we've been doing a basic survey of the Old Testament.
We worked our way through part of Daniel tonight, reading chronologically, rather than in the order the chapters are laid out.
I feel a definite affinity and sense of empathy for King Nebuchadnezzar and all his troubles with dreams. I laughed internally as we read of his fury at his advisors - "Tell me my dream and what it means, I'm greatly disturbed." Boy, do I know that feeling! There have been so many mornings over the course of my life and particularly lately where I come awake, and know I've been dreaming, for it has left a sense of disturbance, and even fear at times in my emotions, but I have no idea why. I'd love to have someone who could tell me what I dreamed and what it meant. And then he dreams again, and this time he can remember the dream, and repeat it, but still can't quite figure it out. Been there, done that. (Just ask the friends who regularly get emails from me asking if they have any insight into this dream or that dream!) I understand this guy, who suddenly finds himself blindsided in his sleep by God, and can't quite figure out what to do with it.
Did you know that I haven't slept through the night (more than 4 or very occasionally 5 straight hours) in at least two months now? I don't dream every night - but I do dream most nights. I don't retain most of the dreams, just the damage they do to my emotional and spiritual equilibrium. The ones I do retain, I rarely seem to understand. I'm thrilled that God is speaking. (But I really would like to sleep at least a couple times a week.) Often I wake to voices, though I rarely retain the words, strong pictures, things repeating over and over again as I toss and turn through the night, but not ingraining themselves strongly enough that I can remember and respond when I wake.
Like I said, I feel a certain empathy for this Babylonian king who was ambushed by God Most High while he slept.
We worked our way through part of Daniel tonight, reading chronologically, rather than in the order the chapters are laid out.
I feel a definite affinity and sense of empathy for King Nebuchadnezzar and all his troubles with dreams. I laughed internally as we read of his fury at his advisors - "Tell me my dream and what it means, I'm greatly disturbed." Boy, do I know that feeling! There have been so many mornings over the course of my life and particularly lately where I come awake, and know I've been dreaming, for it has left a sense of disturbance, and even fear at times in my emotions, but I have no idea why. I'd love to have someone who could tell me what I dreamed and what it meant. And then he dreams again, and this time he can remember the dream, and repeat it, but still can't quite figure it out. Been there, done that. (Just ask the friends who regularly get emails from me asking if they have any insight into this dream or that dream!) I understand this guy, who suddenly finds himself blindsided in his sleep by God, and can't quite figure out what to do with it.
Did you know that I haven't slept through the night (more than 4 or very occasionally 5 straight hours) in at least two months now? I don't dream every night - but I do dream most nights. I don't retain most of the dreams, just the damage they do to my emotional and spiritual equilibrium. The ones I do retain, I rarely seem to understand. I'm thrilled that God is speaking. (But I really would like to sleep at least a couple times a week.) Often I wake to voices, though I rarely retain the words, strong pictures, things repeating over and over again as I toss and turn through the night, but not ingraining themselves strongly enough that I can remember and respond when I wake.
Like I said, I feel a certain empathy for this Babylonian king who was ambushed by God Most High while he slept.
Pants!
Okay, so this may be the least profound post ever, but I just wanted to let you all know that I bought a pair of pants last night. This may seem very ordinary, but I seem to be in between sizes at the moment, and have been having great difficulty locating a pair of pants that fits properly (and I rather desperately needed pants - can't keep wearing the same two pairs in rotation to work for weeks on end!).
Now all I have to do is shorten them by six inches or so (blast the fact that girls pants don't come in lengths like guys do), and then I'll be happily wearing them around town!
Now all I have to do is shorten them by six inches or so (blast the fact that girls pants don't come in lengths like guys do), and then I'll be happily wearing them around town!
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