Saturday Morning

Isn't it funny how we don't really think about things we've got planned until we can't have them?

I wasn't really planning to go anywhere special today, but I was in some ways looking forward to getting out of the house on my own for a bit. Maybe the farmer's market, or a craft shop. Maybe the little Catholic bookstore nearby. I needed to get a few groceries for work, and a few for myself. And something to cook for Mother's Day tomorrow. And I'd promised myself New York Fries with gravy.

But I was pretty much planning to spend the day at home. Curled up in the living room, working on creative projects and watching copious amounts of Grey's Anatomy. Exploring a writing project that appeared in my brain the other night.

But now, since George is "at the hospital", I'm stranded. I'm laying here in bed, as usual awake way too early for a Saturday morning (I've been awake off and on for the last two hours already), and contemplating how to fill the long hours of the day. I'm staring at the grey skies that I can see around the corner of my blinds and wondering if it's going to rain again today. And I'm contemplating my energy levels. I could catch the bus and go to the Catholic bookstore, or, if I was really ambitious, even to the farmer's market. I could make the 20 minute walk to the mall and get my french fries, or the 2o minute walk in the other direction to Ten Thousand Villages and browse the international items that are fairly traded on World Fair Trade Day. I could attempt the 40 minute walk down towards the grocery store, and carry the items I need home.

But I'll be honest and say that my energy is already feeling pretty limited, and I haven't gotten out of bed yet.

I'll probably do a bit of baking and a bit of cleaning. I will work on some creative projects (though I'm definitely lacking in inspriration at the moment.)

I'll eat three meals today and take lots of vitamins (because those two things are a big part of my life right now.)

I'll read a bit, and journal in a crazy, random color, because that's what I do these days to break the mold and keep journalling as something that feels okay. I use colors and convince myself that it doesn't have to be a regimented thing (and then I miss the monochromatic uniformity of my previous journaling system that involved red and black ink.)

I'll wait for the mechanic to call and tell me what the damage on George is, and I'll try not to think about the fact that if the costs are high, I'll probably kiss goodbye the plans to get the red and blond highlights that I love put back in my hair. I'll also try not to think about the fact that I've spent large amounts of money this spring keeping George in running order, money that I was hoping would be used to pay down some debts.

I might call a place I discovered that does affordable massages that are covered by insurance and schedule a massage for next weekend sometime. Because I have massage coverage through my work benefits, and I could use a nice long massage.

I'll remember to be greatful that I have a good job that these days I'm enjoying, with a steady income. That I just got a decent raise, thanks to my new job, and that though my debt reduction plan hasn't worked so well this spring, my debt is slowly getting lower, and I do have the money to pay for repairs to George right now, which means this being stranded thing will only last for a couple of days instead of weeks or months. And I'll remember to be grateful that I have health benefits that cover things like the occasional massage!

I'll revist my budget, because it's time for me to start paying more attention to things like how I spend my money.

I'll reward myself with some good baking, and really great chocolate that I found the other day.

I'll eat this yummy leftover pasta we made the other night (turkey with farfalle, pinenuts & spinach) at some point, and maybe have a grilled cheese sandwich too!

I'll do something creative, even if I'm not really feeling it.

And I'll probably clean the house, or maybe go through my closet and pare down, and simplify a bit.

I'll likely write an email or two, a mother's day card or two or three, play a game online for a while, and maybe even play music loudly and dance around my house.

Okay, so I'm probably still too inhibited to really dance around my house, but I will play some music loudly while I clean or something!

And with all of that decided, I think I'm going to get out of bed!