Lonely

I find it funny that I can be in a head space where the last thing in the world that I want to do is be around people, and yet feel lonely.

And yet, I'm feeling that tonight. I'm hiding out in my bedroom to avoid the noise and chaos of life with roommates. Particularly the noise and chaos that comes from the constant presence of one roommate's fiancee in our home.

But I'm missing connections with the sorts of friends who truly see my heart. One of those friends phoned me this afternoon with an invitation to join his roommates and himself to hang out by a lake. I had to turn him down due to the need to participate in my family lunch. I wished in so many ways that I could spend some time with them. Spend some time laughing.

Lately I find myself counting down the hours until it's late enough to go to bed legitimately.

This week promises to be unique, starting with an appointment I have tomorrow night. An appointment I'm rather apprehensive about.

And it will be another full week. Which, when I'm feeling tired and lonely, just makes me feel more tired to even think about it. So, I'm trying not to think about it.

About 2.5 hours until I can go to bed.

And then a full week to come.

I'm peopled out, but lonely. Go figure.