- This joke made me chuckle when it arrived in my email inbox this morning: "After the death of a never married 94-year old spinster of his parish, the rector was given a note from her personal belongings. In the woman's handwriting were specific instructions for her funeral service. Along with the suggestions for Scripture readings and music were the following orders: "There will be no male pallbearers. Since they wouldn't take me out when I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.
- Eating a fresh nectarine for breakfast
- arriving at mom and dad's just in time for an offer of dad making frittata for lunch with leftovers from yesterday's thanksgiving ham
- This facebook status from someone I know a little, which made me laugh out loud since I've been having a conversation with a friend about that very topic: "Some of my deep-thinking friends (and especially the Christian ones it seems) make me smile, and sometimes wince, because they just can't post a status update that is simply fun or happy. Everything's gotta be intense or profound it seems. Hope your lives are occasionally a bit lighter than your status updates my friends."
- an unexpected skype call with a dear friend in the midst of a day when I was struggling. the laughter and her gentle reminders of truth were oh so helpful this afternoon
- every historical village trip (like the one I made on Saturday) requires a visit to the old-fashioned working bakery. and purchases at said bakery. knowing that Thanksgiving was coming and that there would be leftover mean, Saturday's bakery purchase was a freshly baked loaf of sourdough bread. A loaf that smelled fantastic. A loaf that, when sliced, and made into a grilled ham and cheese sandwich with leftover ham from yesterday's Thanksgiving meal made for a divine sandwich.
- watching a few episodes of Grey's Anatomy on DVD
- catching up on blog reading
- laughing on skype this afternoon with my friend about last night's daily 5 (I miss having her be the peanut gallery across the room while I write those lists!)
- Being reminded over and over again lately that I am actually someone who is loved.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 57
Today's Daily 5:
Not a Spirit of Fear
2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT)
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
The passage above is perhaps one of my least favorites in all of scripture. Not because I don't think that it's an absolutely incredible promise and statement, because I do. I don't like it because it has been used as a weapon.
If I had a dollar for every time that someone has quoted that passage to me as a supposed "solution to all my problems", I'd be rich. The gist of their thinking is almost always along the lines of "Well, don't be afraid, fear isn't from God, you know."
Really? I hadn't caught that in all those years I spent growing up in church.
That's your big solution to the overwhelming and paralyzing fear I sometimes struggle with? Just "don't be afraid, it's not from God." Thanks for that. No really, thanks for the helpful advice.
Obviously I've never said any of these things out loud to whoever the well-meaning person quoting my "favorite" scripture verse to me was. I'm polite like that. And well-trained. And I might have permanent bite marks on my tongue, too.
When you're buried in overwhelming fear, "stop being afraid" just doesn't seem like an option. When fear overwhelms whole arenas of your life, you're generally aware that that fear likely isn't a godly thing, and someone reminding you of that fact just feels like rubbing salt in an open wound.
And then, in God's usual way, he used my least favorite thing as an object lesson recently.
I'd woken from a brutal dream, terrified, and trying to pray.
It was one of those moments when God borrows his own words from scripture to speak.
"I didn't give you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-discipline."
There's something different about those words when they're being offered by the original author, and not being quoted as easy solutions to a problem that the person doing the quoting can't quite understand, and quite possibly fears themselves.
When God spoke them into the chaos of my heart that early morning, they carried an instant peace. A knowledge that I was loved, and the One who loves me was intervening in the darkness that had encroached while I slept, and pushing it back.
That passage will probably never be one of my favorites. There's an awful lot of cynicism built up in me about it. But, when Jesus speaks it, I'm going to stop to listen. Because when He speaks it, something special, something healing, is on it's way.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
The passage above is perhaps one of my least favorites in all of scripture. Not because I don't think that it's an absolutely incredible promise and statement, because I do. I don't like it because it has been used as a weapon.
If I had a dollar for every time that someone has quoted that passage to me as a supposed "solution to all my problems", I'd be rich. The gist of their thinking is almost always along the lines of "Well, don't be afraid, fear isn't from God, you know."
Really? I hadn't caught that in all those years I spent growing up in church.
That's your big solution to the overwhelming and paralyzing fear I sometimes struggle with? Just "don't be afraid, it's not from God." Thanks for that. No really, thanks for the helpful advice.
Obviously I've never said any of these things out loud to whoever the well-meaning person quoting my "favorite" scripture verse to me was. I'm polite like that. And well-trained. And I might have permanent bite marks on my tongue, too.
When you're buried in overwhelming fear, "stop being afraid" just doesn't seem like an option. When fear overwhelms whole arenas of your life, you're generally aware that that fear likely isn't a godly thing, and someone reminding you of that fact just feels like rubbing salt in an open wound.
And then, in God's usual way, he used my least favorite thing as an object lesson recently.
I'd woken from a brutal dream, terrified, and trying to pray.
It was one of those moments when God borrows his own words from scripture to speak.
"I didn't give you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-discipline."
There's something different about those words when they're being offered by the original author, and not being quoted as easy solutions to a problem that the person doing the quoting can't quite understand, and quite possibly fears themselves.
When God spoke them into the chaos of my heart that early morning, they carried an instant peace. A knowledge that I was loved, and the One who loves me was intervening in the darkness that had encroached while I slept, and pushing it back.
That passage will probably never be one of my favorites. There's an awful lot of cynicism built up in me about it. But, when Jesus speaks it, I'm going to stop to listen. Because when He speaks it, something special, something healing, is on it's way.
Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 56
Today's Daily 5:
- Taking time to pause
- marking things off a list
- a quiet house
- wearing favorite clothes
- drinking mango juice from a juice box with a straw
- listening to a mix cd from a friend
- PTL - still laughing over the abbreviation of my favorite drink at Starbucks
- "We're nice. And there's no turkey."
- dinner with family
- laughing at a really lame movie at the cheap theatre with my brothers, the girls they love, one of my cousins, and a friend
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Pause
Late last night as I was emailing with a friend, I answered a question she'd asked for clarification, and realized I needed to take time to just pause.
I sort of immediately declared that today, this morning, would be about pausing.
About sitting with Jesus for a while.
Praying about some complex situations and relationships in my life.
Praying for some friends who have very specific needs and have been heavily on my heart.
This morning is about taking that necessary time to pause.
I sort of immediately declared that today, this morning, would be about pausing.
About sitting with Jesus for a while.
Praying about some complex situations and relationships in my life.
Praying for some friends who have very specific needs and have been heavily on my heart.
This morning is about taking that necessary time to pause.
Saturday, October 09, 2010
Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 55
Today's Daily 5:
- 1 year, 55 days of making these lists!
- cracking up while wandering around in the "farmstead" section of the historical village I visited with mom's cousin today, and hearing a sudden yelp of "Oh my god" and looking up to see a young man about my age who'd obviously been caring for the pigs in the pen, sprinting for the gate. Clearly he'd managed to inadvertently aggravate the pigs, and there were about six of them chasing after him. It was hilarious!
- spending a bit more time with mom's cousin
- making an impromptu trip to Ikea to stock up on candles and buy frames for a few art pieces
- eating potstickers for lunch, and dipping them in sweet chili sauce
- The smell of the old fashioned bakery at the historical village
- wandering through the village with mom's cousin, and talking history (basically, letting the geek in me out to play!)
- having an iphone to have easy access to some many things
- I can now add to my list of experiences that I have literally had a pair of earrings cut out of my ears with a wire cutter by my dad. That whole scenario made me laugh too.
- Talking movies and books over dinner
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