Peru in the news again...

Peru's Poor Left Behind

Frustration as Motivation?

This has not been a good day.

I have money woes.

And car accident woes, which are contributing to the money woes.

I have house hunting woes, which are contributing to the money woes.

But hey, apparently anger and frustration and stress are motivators, because I made huge headway on my "to do" list at work today.

And my list of emails that required follow-up. That list went from 30 items down to 9 items.

My Secret Heart

It's been another hard day so far. I'm listening to various Bob Bennett albums. I'm caught in particular by the song "My Secret Heart".

In my secret heart where I really live
I am longing for peace and the will to forgive
In my secret heart where I run to hide
Nobody knows me but you
There's a dark cloud hanging
Full of pain
And I'm caught out in the rain
In my secret heart a stillness gives way
To the sound of a longing for a better day
Behind the easy laughter is a man who is afraid
That he will repeat every mistake that he has made
The lightning flash of anger
Like a drug against the pain
And my secret heart was drowning in the rain
In my secret heart where I really live
I am longing for peace and the will to forgive
In my secret heart where I run to hide
Nobody knows me but you
Nobody can know me but you
Nobody knows me in my secret heart

Collecting Moments

I find myself in need of a collection of moments tonight, times from the weekend that were good, moments where I was able to deeply rest in the love of God. Things that made me smile. I need the reminders tonight.

• listening to my brother, T. lead worship... hearing his heart as he shared and directed our hearts towards the Father
• hearing a woman who has been a missionary in West Africa for 35 years speak with deep love for that country, and for the people there
• about a year ago a young woman I know announced that she was pregnant. several months later she married the father. On Sunday I cuddled her 4 month old daughter for the first time, and she is a beautiful miracle. I had seen the baby before, but I'd been ill, and unable to gather her to myself. Yesterday I held her and smiled as she wiggled and smiled back at me.
• seeing deer in the park on Friday night
  
• rain running down my face

Arguing with Insurance Companies

I promise a longer post sometime later today, or tonight, telling you a bit about my weekend. It was mostly (with the exception of the car accident, and some brief panic at the possible costs of the car accident) a quiet and good weekend.

However, I am dealing with insurance companies far too much lately.

I am fighting with our health-care insurance provider in regards to a claim I made well over a month ago to pay for an eye exam and for a portion of my new glasses. It’s not going well. We’re arguing about whether or not I sent the correct “original” receipt for the eye exam. (I did.) After much arguing, and not returning my phone calls, they have seen fit to put a cheque in the mail for the amount for the glasses, but are still hesitating on paying for the eye exam. Apparently the gentleman I spoke with this morning will “look into it and call me back.” (I’ve heard that before.) My boss assures me that if this is not straightened out, there are people we can get involved to make it go more smoothly next time

I’m also waiting for a phone call from an adjuster from my roommate’s insurance company. It was my roommate’s car that I was driving when I had the accident. I’ll get to over the whole situation in all the “gory” (it wasn’t gory) details. I’ll answer annoying questions about whether or not I’d consumed drugs or alcohol, and was I talking on my cell phone at the time? And then, I’ll pay for the inevitable increase in my roommate’s insurance premium.

This is an eye-rolling sort of day. A “I got slightly rude on the phone with the English is not his first language” insurance company guy day.

Perhaps I should qualify my current frustration and say that I understand that not all insurance companies are such a royal pain in the behind. In fact, I work for an insurance company…

Here’s to hoping it can only go up from here!