The Butterfly Circus

A friend of mine sent me the link to this film this morning. She came across it via a mutual friend. And, much in the way she told me that she'd needed to see this today, I feel the same way, after a rough day, and coming home and collapsing on the couch, and remembering my promise to check the film out. I needed to see it today. It is a thing of great hope and beauty.

Rough Day

I've had a bit of a rough day. Not work wise, or emotionally, but physically it's been a challenge.

I've been rather ill all day. More at some points than others. And in pain. I've been fighting with muscle problems in my neck and shoulders for a few weeks now, and they kicked up into a fury today. I've also had a severe headache for much of the day.

This has created a unique set of things that I'm grateful for, which will likely be reflected when I write the daily 5 later tonight.

In the meantime, I'm thankful that the work day is within ten minutes of drawing to a close, and that I don't need to run any errands tonight, but can go straight home to my couch to rest. I'm greatly looking forward to a quiet evening, since my roommate will be out, and plan to spend most of it laying on my couch, being gentle with myself. Probably treating myself to a face mask. Definitely reading or watching a video. But mostly just doing whatever seems to induce rest on my weary body.

A Few More From Henri on Choosing Life

A few more thoughts from Henri Nouwen on choices and blessings...

Choosing Words Wisely

Words are very important. When we say to someone: "You are an ugly, useless, despicable person," we might have ruined the possibility for a relationship with that person for life. Words can continue to do harm for many years.

It is so important to choose our words wisely. When we are boiling with anger and eager to throw bitter words at our opponents, it is better to remain silent. Words spoken in rage will make reconciliation very hard. Choosing life and not death, blessings and not curses often starts by choosing to remain silent or choosing carefully the words that open the way to healing.

Speaking Words of Love

Often we remain silent when we need to speak. Without words, it is hard to love well. When we say to our parents, children, lovers, or friends: "I love you very much" or "I care for you" or "I think of you often" or "You are my greatest gift," we choose to give life.

It is not always easy to express our love directly in words. But whenever we do, we discover we have offered a blessing that will be long remembered. When a son can say to his father, "Dad, I love you," and when a mother can say to her daughter, "Child, I love you," a whole new blessed place can be opened up, a space where it is good to dwell. Indeed, words have the power to create life.

Blessing One Another

To bless means to say good things. We have to bless one another constantly. Parents need to bless their children, children their parents, husbands their wives, wives their husbands, friends their friends. In our society, so full of curses, we must fill each place we enter with our blessings. We forget so quickly that we are God's beloved children and allow the many curses of our world to darken our hearts. Therefore we have to be reminded of our belovedness and remind others of theirs. Whether the blessing is given in words or with gestures, in a solemn or an informal way, our lives need to be blessed lives.

Choosing the Blessings

It is an ongoing temptation to think of ourselves as living under a curse. The loss of a friend, an illness, an accident, a natural disaster, a war, or any failure can make us quickly think that we are no good and are being punished. This temptation to think of our lives as full of curses is even greater when all the media present us day after day with stories about human misery.

Jesus came to bless us, not to curse us. But we must choose to receive that blessing and hand it on to others. Blessings and curses are always placed in front of us. We are free to choose. God says, Choose the blessings!

Daily 5 - Day 30

30 days. That's crazy. I wish I could say that it was getting easier to show up here and come up with a daily list of 5, but in some ways it's getting harder. As my general enjoyment of life has increased a little with some of the changes happening within me, it's easier to say that, "it was a good day" and harder to pick out the specific beautiful moments. But, it's a discipline that for the moment anyway, I'm appreciating, so I'll keep giving it a shot.

Today's Daily 5:

1. Dinner at mom and dad's (hamburgers!)
2. Laughter, and great conversation with people I love over dinner... books, god, life, philosophy, theology... I love a conversation that goes beyond the surface to the things that I feel passionate about or find stimulating
3. laughing with my roommate
4. the "my zoo" game on facebook - I just really enjoy this one, and the fun little breaks of time spent playing it
5. coming away from the evening with a couple of book titles I'm interested in checking out.
   

Stop and Breathe

Today, like every other day in the office this week, has been packed full.

Between working on a major project that the goal is to have out the door by tomorrow afternoon, and training our new receptionist, as well as handling the various other responsibilities that come with my job, I get to the end of the receptionist's work day (she is working shorter days, not quite full-time), and realize that I've hardly stopped to catch my breath since I arrived at the office hours and hours before.

So, I'm taking just a moment to stop and breathe, to promise that the blog will eventually get back to having more than these "I'm insanely busy" style posts. Maybe on the weekend. Or next week. If life slows down. Which it definitely should quite soon now. Until then, I'll just keep taking moments to stop and breathe, and promise that I am still reading the various blogs I follow, whether or not I'm commenting. And many of you are saying great stuff, or funny stuff, or just stuff that I've enjoyed, so keep writing!

And I'll be back to writing properly soon too. I hope.