The Whole Earth Groans

I feel like that this morning.

Like I can feel the whole earth groaning.

I hardly slept last night.

In the little time I was asleep, I had an incredibly vivid and intense dream.  A dream about a situation I've been part of for a long time now.

I woke from this dream stunned, and lay for a few moments in the dark, praying desperately.

The first thing I do when I wake is check emails.

The first email I read this morning informed me that at 6:00 this morning, Haiti was hit with a 6.1 magnitude aftershock.

That stunned me all over again.

For a week now it's been like I've been feeling the groans of the Haitians in my spirit.

I feel them still today, maybe even stronger.

I "twitched" this morning.  A weird "spiritual" remnant from my trip overseas, but one that doesn't often happen these days.  (A fact for which I am oh so thankful.)

The day promises to be an incredibly intense one anyway.

Some health challenges again.

Full schedule at work.

Meeting a friend going through the challenge of watching her mother sucuumb to cancer.

And then attending a benefit concert for Haiti.

A later night than I can usually manage.

All on minimal sleep.

I feel the groaning of the whole earth this morning.

I feel that groaning within my own spirit.

And I am reminded again of the verse I was working to memorize a day or two ago "For I know that as you pray for me, and the Spirit of Jesus Christ helps me, this will lead to my deliverance."  Pray, trust the help of the Spirit, and be free.  That is how I'm going to live this groaning day.

Verse 19

It is most definitely Monday.

I pretty much didn't sleep last night.

I knew that I might be in trouble when, an hour after taking the supplement that lets me sleep, I was still wide awake.  It usually knocks me out within 20-30 minutes.

I got up this morning and realized my face had decided to explode overnight.  A zit.  Which is no big deal since I usually get them around the edges of my face, where my hair hides them, and since they're usually pretty little.  Nope.  Right between my cheek and my chin.  And volcanic.  Lovely.

I'm also having crazy symptoms again as I work out the finer points of figuring out how to balance my totally out of whack body chemistry. 

So.  It's Monday.

It's taken an hour and a half, but I feel like I've mostly organized myself, and have a sense of what needs to be accomplished at work, and what needs to be accomplished at home this week.  That's a good thing.

I'm still working on memorizing Philippians.  (That, you'll recall, was one of my goals for 2010 - finish the project I began late in 2009 of memorizing the entire book by the of 2010.)

There are 104 verses in Philippians.  I have now memorized about 19.  That works out to about 18 percent for those of you who are counting.  (I'm counting!)

This morning I worked on verse 19 as I drove to work.  (My strategy for memorizing involves an audio bible and my morning commute.  I find this works for me, repeating it alone, and with the audio bible, and that it helps my mindset for the day to spend that 20 minutes or so focusing on scripture intensely.)

Meditating on the verse I'm working on for the day, or the entire portion of the book I'm running through is unavoidable due to constant repitition, and this morning I find myself caught by verse 19:  "For I know that as you pray for me and the Spirit of Jesus Christ helps me, this will lead to my deliverance."

Such confidence.  You pray, Jesus will help, and I'll be okay.  Paul was in prison when he wrote that.  Knowing that he likely wasn't getting out, and his life would likely end.

Somehow, that's sticking with me this morning, as I consider some challenges that exist in my life.  Others pray (and I know of many who lift me in prayer, thank you!), the Spirit of Jesus will help me, and I'll be delivered.  That is a very comforting way to start an off-kilter Monday.