Abba.

For much of the afternoon, and on into the evening, my heart was deeply unsettled.

I tried to pray. But words just wouldn't (and aren't) forming.

I've been praying a rosary book - a book of prayers and scriptures designed for the Anglican rosary - nightly since the new year began. Each and every night, just before sleep, the scriptures and prayers, and the prayer Jesus taught us to pray.

Our Father. Sometimes I can barely make it past that line. My lips move and repeat the rest of the prayer. But my heart is stuck there. In that space. Calling out for a Father.

And all afternoon, as I tried to find words, my heart simply cried out, over and over, "Abba." "Abba".

I need a God who is Abba - Daddy - right now. A God who draws near. A God who waits with me. A God who holds me, and wipes my many tears.

And so, as my heart remains unsettled, the only words that will form on my lips are "Abba."

And sometimes, "Abba, help."