Discombobulated

I’m feeling sort of discombobulated today.

Could be the five(ish) hours of sleep I got last night, or the dream I had before waking. Could be any number of things.

I’m missing the button on my pants. It came off as I was getting dressed. I have it in my pocket, since I didn’t have time to sew it back on. I’m not even sure I own a needle and appropriately colored thread at this point. I put a belt on instead. Hiding the way the waistband of my pants gaps, and effectively keeping my pants up.

I was just in the bathroom here at the office, and a glance in the mirror reminded me that I am also missing a set of earrings. I have two piercings in each ear lobe. Yesterday I wore funky dangly earrings to work instead of the basic gold posts I wear probably 85% of the time. I never put my posts back in when I got home last night, and today, I am earringless – which only matters when you consider that I have posts in my top piercing, but not my bottom one.

I’m making mental lists. Things I need to do today. Things at work that need to be done today. Things at work that need to be done this week. Things that need to be done at home, but not necessarily today. Emails I need to write. Journal thoughts that need to be recorded. I’m mentally working through the lists – almost to the point of putting them on paper – working to sort and prioritize and figure out what needs to be done when. I’m out of practice at sorting and prioritizing, and it’s taking a lot of mental energy.

Coming back to the office after five weeks away is a bit of a challenge. New people, some gone. A mess on my desk because apparently my replacement did a less than stellar job of filling my job.

There was one day in Rome where I spent the whole day fighting a mental and spiritual battle. Wandering through a beautiful place, with dear friends, and only half-way engaged with what I was seeing and doing. It was an old battle, one I’ve fought before, and one I expect to fight again.

I’m feeling a little of that battle today. And it’s making me discombobulated.