Still Tired

I'm still tired, though in a less soul-numbing exhausted sort of way...

Sleep remains an elusive thing, full of dreams and moments of wakefulness. I was explaining to someone today how, over the course of years of sleeping poorly, your body adapts, and you learn what it is to function at a competent level with only 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night.

I talked about how the periods in my life when sleep seems the least are always the ones where it seems I could use the sleep the most. The ones where I'm walking through intense things personally, or walking alongside some really broken and messy people.

I explained, too, how in the moments when I most need the strength to meet with someone who's broken, in those moments when I know that there is nothing of myself left to care for that person, the strength is always there. Just in that moment, Jesus always sends just enough energy, just enough words, just enough patience and wisdom and discernment. And when that moment ends, the strength usually goes with it... and that's okay too.

So, I'm tired, and I'm stressed, and trying to get 8 million things accomplished before my last day of work on Tuesday, and before I leave Calgary on Thursday and fly out on Friday, but I'm going to be okay. Because the strength is there in the moments when it's really important, and the rest of it, well, it's just stuff, and the world won't end if my laundry doesn't get folded immediately, or if my dishes aren't washed right this second.