Randoms thoughts of nothingness...

I feel like I should have something profound to say here. I don’t.

I’ve been waking every morning around 5 am again. While it is not by any means unusual for me to have sleep problems this has been oddly consistent. At least there don’t seem to be the usual onslaught of nightmares included with the inconsistent sleeping patterns.

I’ve hit that point of tiredness where your brain quite stubbornly refuses to function. I think I’ve bored my roommate to tears the last few nights, by calmly plopping myself on the couch with a magazine or cookbook, and popping a dvd into my laptop, and vegetating for the hours between dinner and bedtime. Then I crawl into bed, do my devotions, and read approximately two pages of a novel before I start falling asleep. I put the novel away, take off my glasses, and sleep until the aforementioned awakening at 5.

Life seems fuzzy and slow at the moment. A rhythm slowly returning, but not yet in a meaningful way. Things are once again being accomplished in the week they need to be accomplished, though.

One more box to sort through, and I’ve completely unpacked and settled into my bedroom.

Settling in to the rest of the house is taking longer. We’re unpacked, but it doesn’t feel like home yet. I miss having people to talk to about the important stuff of life. Yes, I have a roommate, but we are entirely opposite people. I find myself hesitant to trot out the really big important matters of life and faith in her presence. While I’m comfortable with people disagreeing with my thoughts and positions, I don’t really want to be fighting those battles on the homefront as well as everywhere else. I really need my home to be a place that I can retreat and recover. A place of prayer and rest.

There are moments when it begins to feel this way – an evening when my roommate was out and I prayed my way through the house. A little while last night as I relaxed on the couch with a beautiful Steve Bell song playing, and simply allowed my soul to be quieted and worship.

All in all, I’m glad for a week of vacation. Time with my immediate family, and the family members coming from Wisconsin. Three days at a conference on leadership connected to the church. Days with a break from my new house and my roommate. Days with a break from work, and a slower pace. Then a week back at work, and a tentatively scheduled weekend in the mountains. A week back at work, and a fun weekend in Calgary. A week back at work and another weekend in the mountains. And then, summer will draw to a close, a schedule will resume, and I’ll be a happy lady!

On a side note, apparently I look quite a bit younger than I actually am. In my second year of university I was mistaken by a camp pastor whom my parents were chatting with as a camper at the junior high camp going on that week! (We’d driven some junior high students down, and I was waiting for the return trip while my parents were chatting.) I thought that those days were behind me (though I still get carded when we go to pubs) until two weeks ago. A very well-meaning lady was visiting church, and approached myself and the junior high student I was chatting with. She introduced herself, asked a number of questions, and it became increasingly clear that she had mistaken me for being much younger than I was. When she asked me if I was looking forward to going back to school in the fall, the jig was up. I very nicely informed her that I was almost 24 years old, and had finished a five year university degree two years previously, and worked full time, so summer didn’t have quite the same distinction for me that it had for the young lady I was chatting with. Ah, well… my aunt says I’ll be grateful for a youthful appearance 25 years from now!