A Sticky Situation

I continue to find myself involved in a rather tense situation, involving a great number of close friends, and our church. Unfortunately, as much as I would like to write a pages long rant, detailing the situation and naming names, it would be both unfair to the people involved, and less than fruitful at this moment.

Every time I think the situation is beginning to smooth or resolve, it gets stirred yet again.

This afternoon I sat with a very close friend, someone who I would have never expected to say the things she did about this situation. In fact, a couple of months ago when I said similar things to her, she to some extent dismissed my concerns. But, they've come home and begun to affect her personally, and she has made a very difficult decision. After more than three years, she's moving on - not completely out of our church, but out of a community within the church that we've both been part of for those three years. If this shift doesn't go well for her, if it turns out that what she's been experiencing is endemic to the whole church and not just one community, then she will leave entirely.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I've expressed my concerns to someone in leadership, only to have them glossed over, assumed that they were someone else's concerns, or not responded to at all. I've prayed and prayed and prayed. I've told myself to be patient, that change doesn't happen immediately. I've even taken what feels like some big risks in sharing very personal parts of my journey. I still don't feel completely released to follow my friend and switch communities. And yet, I feel at times that I am slowly strangling in the place where I am at present. I'm watching close friends - heart friends - get hurt, or make painful decisions, or simply walk away from a church community that has in the past brought great healing to all of us.

How do you make a decision about this kind of thing? I don't even know anymore how to pray... God, help.