- Sleeping restfully
- A bacon, cheese, and lettuce sandwich for lunch, made with leftover bacon from another cooking task
- spending time on my own (mostly) in the kitchen, preparing for this evening
- anticipating a tasty meal all day (and then getting to eat our traditional Christmas eve appetizer feast!)
- helping my baby brother with a couple of last minute gift things for his wife
- laughing and talking with my family about topics that range from hilarious to serious
- being reminded that some of the things I struggle the most with in regards to family are the other side of some of the things I love the most
- watching as several family members played a new game
- joking about gift wrapping skill/technique (you can tell by looking which gifts my brother J wrapped, and which his fiancee wrapped)
- nestling into bed knowing that early, early Christmas mornings are definitely a thing of the past (unless you're my brother T, whose wife insists that 6:30 is the correct time to rise on Christmas morning!)
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 127
Today's Daily 5:
Friday, December 23, 2011
Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 126
Today's Daily 5:
- Getting close to finished the last few gifts
- Christmas oranges
- knitting (while sipping a cocktail with pomegranate juice, lemon, cranberries, and white wine)
- old episodes of Monk on DVD
- a long bubble bath, accompanied by a great novel
2 Days...
Two days left until Christmas.
Two days.
Can I admit that that thought feels overwhelming?
Some of the events of the last few days have left me feeling pensive, lost in thought...
What I really want to do is curl up alone and honor those thoughts. Honor them, and maybe hide away from things that will highlight them painfully.
What I'm going to do instead is shop and bake and sew and cook. I'll decorate and pack and clean.
I kind of wish Christmas would just delay itself a few more days... but it won't...
So, here's to figuring out the balance of being pensive and being active... I hope it works!
Two days.
Can I admit that that thought feels overwhelming?
Some of the events of the last few days have left me feeling pensive, lost in thought...
What I really want to do is curl up alone and honor those thoughts. Honor them, and maybe hide away from things that will highlight them painfully.
What I'm going to do instead is shop and bake and sew and cook. I'll decorate and pack and clean.
I kind of wish Christmas would just delay itself a few more days... but it won't...
So, here's to figuring out the balance of being pensive and being active... I hope it works!
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Daily 5 - Year 3, Day 125
Today's Daily 5:
- Sharing the joy and anticipation of giving to some in need over the course of an early morning phone call from a friend
- a winter day warm enough to wear a skirt with leggings and boots
- reading quietly on the bus
- bringing lunch and a special handmade birthday gift to one of my dearest friends, and getting to hug her daughter and spend much of the afternoon visiting with my friend
- an appointment that left me with much to ponder
- delivering Christmas hampers that we purchased and assembled to three families in need
- chatting frankly with a friend
- celebrating another birthday with cake and mocktails (what happens when you have several pregnant friends)
- a novel I've really enjoyed
- curling up in my own bed at the end of a very full day
The Problem with Quiet
I've talked lately about how much of a blessing this unexpected time of quiet and rest has been. I've talked about rediscovering introverted parts of myself, and understanding in new ways that alone time, or time with a few dear friends is what feeds my soul.
But this week I was reminded of the downside of all that quiet. Or at least the downside if you're an introvert with tendencies to analyze, over think, avoid, and or generally inclined to ascribe to the position that "the unexamined life is not worth living."
The problem with quiet is that eventually the preceding exhaustion subsides. Eventually the novelty wears off. And then? Then you are left with your thoughts.
(Can I just say that the time right before the holidays, when everyone is busy and happy and joyous, maybe even raucous, is not a great time to be alone with highly introspective, slightly less than happy and joyous thoughts?)
It took about a week for me to realize that the novelty of the quiet was wearing off, and my mind and heart were taking the opportunity to remind me that there are still unsettled things within them. That there are wrestles that are more easily sidestepped when life is full, busy, and loud. About a week of increasingly disturbing dreams marring my sleep, forcing certain wrestles to the surface of my consciousness for me to recognize the phenomenon occurring within me.
It's not a phenomenon that, for all my experience with it, I've quite figured out how to handle. It's made more challenging by the fact that some of the things stirring relate to conflicts with those who are quite intimately connected to me - the sorts of people that the holidays demand I spend time with.
I am going to bed at night praying with just a hint of desperation for Jesus to be present deeply in my thoughts as I sleep. That nothing not of him would penetrate my dreams. That I would be held and protected. (And I share those dreams that remain when morning comes with a few select and trusted friends, knowing that they too will pray as I negotiate the challenges of my mind and heart that are surfacing in my dreams.
And so I pause and acknowledge that that which feeds me also holds challenges. That this too is something to balance. That just like food, perhaps too much silence is not quite healthy either, and that there is still healing and learning to be done.
But this week I was reminded of the downside of all that quiet. Or at least the downside if you're an introvert with tendencies to analyze, over think, avoid, and or generally inclined to ascribe to the position that "the unexamined life is not worth living."
The problem with quiet is that eventually the preceding exhaustion subsides. Eventually the novelty wears off. And then? Then you are left with your thoughts.
(Can I just say that the time right before the holidays, when everyone is busy and happy and joyous, maybe even raucous, is not a great time to be alone with highly introspective, slightly less than happy and joyous thoughts?)
It took about a week for me to realize that the novelty of the quiet was wearing off, and my mind and heart were taking the opportunity to remind me that there are still unsettled things within them. That there are wrestles that are more easily sidestepped when life is full, busy, and loud. About a week of increasingly disturbing dreams marring my sleep, forcing certain wrestles to the surface of my consciousness for me to recognize the phenomenon occurring within me.
It's not a phenomenon that, for all my experience with it, I've quite figured out how to handle. It's made more challenging by the fact that some of the things stirring relate to conflicts with those who are quite intimately connected to me - the sorts of people that the holidays demand I spend time with.
I am going to bed at night praying with just a hint of desperation for Jesus to be present deeply in my thoughts as I sleep. That nothing not of him would penetrate my dreams. That I would be held and protected. (And I share those dreams that remain when morning comes with a few select and trusted friends, knowing that they too will pray as I negotiate the challenges of my mind and heart that are surfacing in my dreams.
And so I pause and acknowledge that that which feeds me also holds challenges. That this too is something to balance. That just like food, perhaps too much silence is not quite healthy either, and that there is still healing and learning to be done.
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