Avoidance

"The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon.  We can only lie to ourselves for so long."

The above quote was a classic Meredith line, from the ending of an early episode in Grey's Anatomy's second season.

I treat avoidance mechanisms like a cocoon, and they're usually my first stop when I'm dealing with fear.  Whatever I can do to escape the ugly reality of life for a while.

Escape, I think, is a good thing.

It can offer a break and a chance to breath and rest.

My issue is this - too often I let escape become avoidance.

Because let's be honest, shall we?  It's far more pleasurable to avoid than to face the mess head on.

To pretend it simply doesn't exist.

And then, then that moment always comes when I realize that I'm in a cage, not a cocoon, and I've delayed the inevitable - the pain, yes, but also the healing.

I'm working on this pattern lately... aware of it again, and working on the courage to crawl out of that cage/cocoon and really face life, and when I heard that line as I was watching the old Grey's episode, I knew I had to share it.

My question is this - when does your cocoon become a cage that keeps you from something better?

Daily 5 - Day 359

Today's Daily 5:

1. Listening to T & L lead worship this morning
2. laughing at a particularly awkward phrasing in church this morning with J and his girlfriend R
3. enjoying chatting with some missionaries that are staying with mom and dad right now
4. time enjoying family in a low key way
5. venti iced passion tea lemonade

Daily 5 - Day 358

Today was my 27th birthday.  That only bears mentioning because many years, and last year especially, my birthday has been a very hard day for me.  In fact, some of the crazy, hard emotions that surfaced on my birthday weekend last year were the reason I ultimately started making these daily 5 lists.  I started making them about a week after my birthday, as I began to process some of the hard, new realizations about life and about choosing joy that sprang from my birthday weekend.

And so, with thankfulness, here is today's daily 5 list:

1. I'm thankful for another year
2. I'm thankful for family and friends who love me
3. I'm especially thankful today for all of the unique friends I've made via the blogging community - I so love each of you, and love hearing from you, and your unique comments and insights both in comments here and in your writing on your own blogs.
4. I'm thankful for time spent outside of the city today
5. I'm thankful for the first day in ages without any school commitments
6. I'm thankful for the reminder that showing up here each evening to make this list really is in my days - to constantly choose joy, to keep an eye out for things that would make good list items and really notice the things in my days that bring smiles.
7. I'm thankful for a line in a Rob Bell teaching dvd that I watched again recently "You don't have to live like this." and the freedom that line offered
8. I'm thankful for 27 years of life
9. I'm thankful for brothers with a way better eye for clothes than I have (how unfair is that, by the way??) who use their talent to buy their sister new hoodies and things for her birthday
10. I'm thankful for a day without tears, and with many smiles.

The Book of Awesome

Have you heard of this book or blog yet?  It's like a daily 5 list on steroids, and some of the posts are brilliant!

I've only been reading the blog so far, but my plan is to get the book ASAP.  I think it'll become my go-to pick me up when I need a reminder about the simple but beautiful things in the world.

 

Some of my favorite posts so far (of the ones I've read):

Pulling a Weed and Getting all the Roots With It

 

Long Comfortable Silences Between Really Close Friends

Bakery Air

Sleeping in New Bedsheets

Old, Dangerous Playground Equipment

Living with Someone Who Doesn't Mind Killing Spiders

Daily 5 - Day 357

Today's Daily 5:

1. Leftover Vietnamese food for lunch (absolutely my all time favorite Ethnic food)
2. making homemade garlic butter for the garlic bread that went with lasagna tonight
3. a day where the school work was light, and finished early
4. not setting an alarm this morning
5. watching old episodes of Grey's Anatomy on dvd