Went to the Stampede last night to hang out with some friends who I won't see again for quite a long time. They leave today for China, and some of them, particularly the one I'm closest too won't be coming back through Calgary before returning to their home towns or countries. So we hung out at the Stampede, watched the Grandstand Show (which was actually quite enjoyable this year - worth the price of rush admission just for the bagpipe playing comedian, and the good view of the fireworks.), and ate junk food. (Ah, mini donuts and corn dogs!)
Another friend and her husband leave today for Russia as well. I guess I'll be spending a lot of time over the next few weeks praying for friends overseas! Cool!
Trying to decide if I'm going to hang out with our house church tonight. There are two options for things people are doing, and neither one is particularly appealing to me. So, I'm debating taking myself to a movie - anyone want to see either "The Devil Wears Prada" or the new "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie with me tonight?
And with that I'm off to do some reading and writing and cleaning. Ah, the joys of a day off!
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Monday, July 10, 2006
Dreaming...
I was talking with Nolan last night, and mentioned that I have got to be the only person in our group of friends, people actively seeking God's voice, who gets annoyed at Him when He actually does speak by giving me dreams. We laughed about it, because it really is kind of ironicly funny, and then Nolan told me about someone else we both know who actually asked God to stop sending dreams. That made me feel better!
I'm at the point where at certain points and times, as much as I prefer to just sleep, I will actually say to God, you can speak to me in my dreams about this situation, or that person or whatever. For example, I've committed to praying regularly for a good friend, but especially over the next week or two as she and her husband travel to Russia with a team of people to pray and intercede over the G8 summit happening in St. Petersburg. I asked God last night to speak clearly, to bring her to mind at the times she most needed covering in prayer, and even to send dreams with her in them if necessary as a reminder to prayer. I don't regularly ask God for dreams, but He's spoken to me about this friend in my dreams before, and I really feel that He called me a couple of months ago to be regularly upholding this friend in prayer, so I want to be aware of when those prayer needs are most pressing.
All that said, I had a dream this morning that was definitely not spiritual, but was kind of funny, so I thought I'd throw it up on the blog.
I was at home, with my two brothers. The only problem was that our house (which I never left in the dream) was now in Hong Kong! And then, I'm standing at the kitchen window, looking out over our backyard and alley, and at the back gate there's a monkey (orangutan or gorilla) wearing a bright pink shirt and a floppy hat, and trying to get into our yard. So I call my brothers to come see, and oddly enough, my youngest brother is also a gorilla, also wearing clothes. The monkey from the gate comes into our yard, and my brother roars at it, and it goes running to the other side of the city. Then it comes back, and is in our house, and running up and down the stairs to our basement, and rolling around and playing on the bottom landing.
And then I woke up!
See, this one is pretty obviously not spiritual - it's actually kind of funny and quite honestly bizarre - but most of my dreams are such a hodgepodge of weird settings and intense emotions that I'm not always sure which ones are the result of an overactive imagination, and which are God things!
I'm at the point where at certain points and times, as much as I prefer to just sleep, I will actually say to God, you can speak to me in my dreams about this situation, or that person or whatever. For example, I've committed to praying regularly for a good friend, but especially over the next week or two as she and her husband travel to Russia with a team of people to pray and intercede over the G8 summit happening in St. Petersburg. I asked God last night to speak clearly, to bring her to mind at the times she most needed covering in prayer, and even to send dreams with her in them if necessary as a reminder to prayer. I don't regularly ask God for dreams, but He's spoken to me about this friend in my dreams before, and I really feel that He called me a couple of months ago to be regularly upholding this friend in prayer, so I want to be aware of when those prayer needs are most pressing.
All that said, I had a dream this morning that was definitely not spiritual, but was kind of funny, so I thought I'd throw it up on the blog.
I was at home, with my two brothers. The only problem was that our house (which I never left in the dream) was now in Hong Kong! And then, I'm standing at the kitchen window, looking out over our backyard and alley, and at the back gate there's a monkey (orangutan or gorilla) wearing a bright pink shirt and a floppy hat, and trying to get into our yard. So I call my brothers to come see, and oddly enough, my youngest brother is also a gorilla, also wearing clothes. The monkey from the gate comes into our yard, and my brother roars at it, and it goes running to the other side of the city. Then it comes back, and is in our house, and running up and down the stairs to our basement, and rolling around and playing on the bottom landing.
And then I woke up!
See, this one is pretty obviously not spiritual - it's actually kind of funny and quite honestly bizarre - but most of my dreams are such a hodgepodge of weird settings and intense emotions that I'm not always sure which ones are the result of an overactive imagination, and which are God things!
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Thinking about boys
Boys seem to be the topic of the week in conversations with friends. Particularly what I'm thinking in the whole area of dating/desiring to be dating/who I'd possibly like to be dating.
The truth is, I don't actually think about it all that often. I was asking myself tonight if that makes me kind of weird - an abnormal young adult. I was with a friend who spends a lot of time thinking about marriage and babies, and really wishing for that to happen in her life, and I couldn't be more opposite.
Does that make me a bizarre 22 (almost 23) year old woman? I mean, I'm pretty sure I want to get married someday -there's something amazing, I think, in sharing life that intimately with another human being, something deeply spiritual and special and blessed by God in marriage. But I'm really not in a hurry. If it happens sometime soon, that's fantastic, and if it doesn't happen soon, that's okay too.
I think I'm definitely weird. I find it bizarre that I have this peace about that whole area of my life, and yet I spend my whole working day surrounded by people in the midst of planning their weddings and lives together. I'm bombarded with it, and yet I don't particularly have an unsettled longing of the heart for it. I think, though, that I'm glad that I'm content as a single person. It seems, from watching my friend, that it would be a huge emotional drain to devote time and energy to worrying about meeting a guy, and is he the one, and what should the timing be like, and all those million other questions that girls seem to love to obsess about.
Okay. I'm going to bed now. I've had my say for the night, and gotten it off my chest that I'm a little weird. (It's like I keep saying - I'm suited for the life of a middle aged academic, not the emotional throes of young adulthood!) I'm sure the boy will come at the moment I least expect it, and in the timing that I also least expect.
The truth is, I don't actually think about it all that often. I was asking myself tonight if that makes me kind of weird - an abnormal young adult. I was with a friend who spends a lot of time thinking about marriage and babies, and really wishing for that to happen in her life, and I couldn't be more opposite.
Does that make me a bizarre 22 (almost 23) year old woman? I mean, I'm pretty sure I want to get married someday -there's something amazing, I think, in sharing life that intimately with another human being, something deeply spiritual and special and blessed by God in marriage. But I'm really not in a hurry. If it happens sometime soon, that's fantastic, and if it doesn't happen soon, that's okay too.
I think I'm definitely weird. I find it bizarre that I have this peace about that whole area of my life, and yet I spend my whole working day surrounded by people in the midst of planning their weddings and lives together. I'm bombarded with it, and yet I don't particularly have an unsettled longing of the heart for it. I think, though, that I'm glad that I'm content as a single person. It seems, from watching my friend, that it would be a huge emotional drain to devote time and energy to worrying about meeting a guy, and is he the one, and what should the timing be like, and all those million other questions that girls seem to love to obsess about.
Okay. I'm going to bed now. I've had my say for the night, and gotten it off my chest that I'm a little weird. (It's like I keep saying - I'm suited for the life of a middle aged academic, not the emotional throes of young adulthood!) I'm sure the boy will come at the moment I least expect it, and in the timing that I also least expect.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Smiling
Nolan left a comment a couple days ago on one of my posts that talked about the fact that it was good to see me enjoying life lately. It made me smile, because I'm still surprised every morning when I wake up not depressed. Five years of depression and it's only been eight months without.
It stuns me every time I'm walking to the train, or getting dressed for the day, or sitting at my computer, or reading a novel, or just basically engaging in the mundane stuff of day to day living and I realize that God has healed me, that He continues to do crazy things in my life.
Today was another quirky day. I didn't get a call with a job offer, but I've definitely decided to decline the offer if it comes. I've scheduled a couple of interviews for Monday, and we'll go from there. I worked a short shift (4 hours) this morning, and my boss called me in to talk to her for a few minutes. My heart still races every time this happens and I flash back to the day I was basically fired from a job because of my depression. But this was a happy thing. We talked about the fact that I'm still looking for work, and she told me that they're giving me a raise, effective at the beginning of the current pay period of almost two dollars an hour. God is so funny - I'll be making at the bay what I would have been making at the job that I haven't felt the peace to accept, and have decided to turn down. And one of the interviews on Monday is a second interview, so that's really promising.
I've been caught lately by the "Lord's Prayer". In high school I learned it in Spanish. These days I can only remember the first two or three lines in Spanish, but they flow beautifully, and I often find myself praying them as I walk to the train - inviting God's kingdom to come in flowing words of the Spanish language. I've been caught, too, by Eugene Peterson's translation of the prayer in "The Message." Interestingly, again the only lines I've managed to memorize and retain are the first several. I never seem to get much past acknowleging God as my Father, acknowledging His glory, and inviting His kingdom to come - in either Spanish or English!
Peterson translates the lines that have so caught me like this:
Our Father in heaven,
Reveal who you are.
Set the world right;
Do what's best -
as above, so below.
I love that - "As above, so below" - such a neat picture of what we're asking for - the intimate presence and action of God to overwhelm and mark our daily existence, but also something so much larger and all consuming - world consuming.
And the God as Father thing that has always been so hard for me? These days I find myself praying an awful lot to "Papa God." I don't know where I picked up that phrase, but it has for me an intimacy, meaning and understanding, without the negative connotations that terms like "Father," "Daddy" and so on so often have attached to them.
I'm smiling. Because God is faithful. Because He has a sense of humor. Because there is a peace and joy in my heart that is still so overwhelmingly new. Because there are new and deeper things coming. Because God is drawing me ever closer to His heart, and sending me friends to journey with.
Amen, Papa, God.
Reveal who you are.
Set things right. As above, so below.
It stuns me every time I'm walking to the train, or getting dressed for the day, or sitting at my computer, or reading a novel, or just basically engaging in the mundane stuff of day to day living and I realize that God has healed me, that He continues to do crazy things in my life.
Today was another quirky day. I didn't get a call with a job offer, but I've definitely decided to decline the offer if it comes. I've scheduled a couple of interviews for Monday, and we'll go from there. I worked a short shift (4 hours) this morning, and my boss called me in to talk to her for a few minutes. My heart still races every time this happens and I flash back to the day I was basically fired from a job because of my depression. But this was a happy thing. We talked about the fact that I'm still looking for work, and she told me that they're giving me a raise, effective at the beginning of the current pay period of almost two dollars an hour. God is so funny - I'll be making at the bay what I would have been making at the job that I haven't felt the peace to accept, and have decided to turn down. And one of the interviews on Monday is a second interview, so that's really promising.
I've been caught lately by the "Lord's Prayer". In high school I learned it in Spanish. These days I can only remember the first two or three lines in Spanish, but they flow beautifully, and I often find myself praying them as I walk to the train - inviting God's kingdom to come in flowing words of the Spanish language. I've been caught, too, by Eugene Peterson's translation of the prayer in "The Message." Interestingly, again the only lines I've managed to memorize and retain are the first several. I never seem to get much past acknowleging God as my Father, acknowledging His glory, and inviting His kingdom to come - in either Spanish or English!
Peterson translates the lines that have so caught me like this:
Our Father in heaven,
Reveal who you are.
Set the world right;
Do what's best -
as above, so below.
I love that - "As above, so below" - such a neat picture of what we're asking for - the intimate presence and action of God to overwhelm and mark our daily existence, but also something so much larger and all consuming - world consuming.
And the God as Father thing that has always been so hard for me? These days I find myself praying an awful lot to "Papa God." I don't know where I picked up that phrase, but it has for me an intimacy, meaning and understanding, without the negative connotations that terms like "Father," "Daddy" and so on so often have attached to them.
I'm smiling. Because God is faithful. Because He has a sense of humor. Because there is a peace and joy in my heart that is still so overwhelmingly new. Because there are new and deeper things coming. Because God is drawing me ever closer to His heart, and sending me friends to journey with.
Amen, Papa, God.
Reveal who you are.
Set things right. As above, so below.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
A Good Day
Funny how some days turn out to be beautiful when you're least expecting it.
I'm sitting here, having just finished consuming a beautifully ripe and juicy mango, and listening to the sounds floating through my window of the fireworks being shot off in the distance for the opening night of the Stampede. Every night for the next ten days at this time I'll hear the sound of fireworks.
Work was actually really good today. Very laid back which is unusual given the coworker I was with this evening. I worked for a good chunk of the evening with a bridal couple and his parents to help them select their dinnerware, flatware and stemware. Usually it is not a good thing when a couple shows up with parents in tow - tends to make for a stressed couple and a frustrated set of parents as their tastes and opinions clash. But they were very pleasant, honestly enjoyed each other's company, and made some fantastic selections. And I had a great time showing them all the different options, giving them information about the product, and ultimately helping them create a table setting that will look fantastic and that they were very happy with.
Before work this morning I had brunch with a friend. Over good food we shared life, learned new things about each other, caught up on the last month, and learned what's coming up for each other in the next months. Such a valuable thing to have friends with whom you can share on a deep level of understanding.
I think that if they offer me the job tomorrow morning I'm going to turn it down. I really want a job that will allow more interaction with clients and the public than this one - that's why I'd be a great receptionist! I also think that I can get the same sort of benefits that they're offering, while still making the extra dollar an hour somewhere else. I'll also be in contact with another company in the morning. They called me yesterday for a second interview, and I think I'd enjoy working with them. I tried to reach the lady today to schedule the interview, but she was out of the office for the day, so I'll try her again before I head to work in the morning, and hopefully I can schedule something for tomorrow afternoon or Monday morning.
And with that, I'm off to draft a cover letter for yet another position I'm thinking of applying for, and then to do some reading for a little while. Thanks to everyone who left comments letting me know you're still out there. It always encourages me to know my words aren't simply floating off into nothingness. It was fun to come home from work tonight and check my email and find all of your comments. Hooray for friends!
I'm sitting here, having just finished consuming a beautifully ripe and juicy mango, and listening to the sounds floating through my window of the fireworks being shot off in the distance for the opening night of the Stampede. Every night for the next ten days at this time I'll hear the sound of fireworks.
Work was actually really good today. Very laid back which is unusual given the coworker I was with this evening. I worked for a good chunk of the evening with a bridal couple and his parents to help them select their dinnerware, flatware and stemware. Usually it is not a good thing when a couple shows up with parents in tow - tends to make for a stressed couple and a frustrated set of parents as their tastes and opinions clash. But they were very pleasant, honestly enjoyed each other's company, and made some fantastic selections. And I had a great time showing them all the different options, giving them information about the product, and ultimately helping them create a table setting that will look fantastic and that they were very happy with.
Before work this morning I had brunch with a friend. Over good food we shared life, learned new things about each other, caught up on the last month, and learned what's coming up for each other in the next months. Such a valuable thing to have friends with whom you can share on a deep level of understanding.
I think that if they offer me the job tomorrow morning I'm going to turn it down. I really want a job that will allow more interaction with clients and the public than this one - that's why I'd be a great receptionist! I also think that I can get the same sort of benefits that they're offering, while still making the extra dollar an hour somewhere else. I'll also be in contact with another company in the morning. They called me yesterday for a second interview, and I think I'd enjoy working with them. I tried to reach the lady today to schedule the interview, but she was out of the office for the day, so I'll try her again before I head to work in the morning, and hopefully I can schedule something for tomorrow afternoon or Monday morning.
And with that, I'm off to draft a cover letter for yet another position I'm thinking of applying for, and then to do some reading for a little while. Thanks to everyone who left comments letting me know you're still out there. It always encourages me to know my words aren't simply floating off into nothingness. It was fun to come home from work tonight and check my email and find all of your comments. Hooray for friends!
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