Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 102

Today's Daily 5 (the American Thanksgiving Edition!):

1. Having a Chinook (terrible for headaches, but great for weather in the winter.  35 C change in temperature overnight)
2. Not having to wear multiple layers of clothing over my entire body to be outside
3. Having the strength to get out of bed on the hard mornings
4. my iphone
5. Cute and cozy boots
6. wearing jeans at work
7. an encouraging conversation with sympathetic friends yesterday
8. "First, he loves me, second, he loves me, third, he loves me..."
9. A job I'm really enjoying, that, to top it off, is indoors (can't imagine having outdoor work in the winter here)
10. A roof over my head at night, however dubious my ridiculous living situation
11. sweet friends who offer love and care and prayers
12. coworkers I enjoy
13. email - what a blessing to be able to instantly keep in touch with friends so very far away
14. Skype - ditto to email, but with voices and sometimes even video!
15. a smooth move of offices to the building across the street today
16. having lunch provided today
17. chocolate
18. wise counsel from trusted friends and family
19. an inspiring conversation this afternoon about living out God's calling on our lives with one of the volunteers who works with the agency I'm working for this month
20. ease of access to necessary services like banking and medical care
21. speaking the dominant language of the society in which I live fluently.  I spend all day right now talking on the phone with immigrants who are struggling with English, and I think it's such a blessing to be able to freely communicate
22. being in full possession of my mental faculties (again, some of the people I encounter at work these days, not so much, and I feel for them)
23. starbucks caramel apple spice and cranberry bliss bar (those bars are TASTY)
24. Subway for supper
25. a smaller group at house church that made for really good, honest discussion,
26. shifting dynamics at house church that remind me that God is moving amongst us
27. closing the evening by simply sharing honestly and praying a bit for each other
28. the promise of a weekend retreating a bit, staying at mom and dad's for a break
29. a new glass water bottle, with a silicone sleeve, to help prevent breakage
30. finishing up an audio book (Kabul Beauty School) that was a fascinating "read" (gotta love unabridged, well read audio books)

Thanksgiving

When I woke this morning, I was feeling pretty dejected.  It wasn't the greatest night for restful sleep (though I did sleep, so hard that I forgot to take my glasses off, and woke with them still on this morning.)  And some of the more challenging realities of life right now remain most present in the late night and early morning hours when I am laying, alone, in the dark and quiet, and not filling time and space with distractions.

And then I remembered that today is Thanksgiving in the United States.

One of the bonuses of having dual citizenship is that I get my pick of holidays from two different countries (not as formal days off, but as things to celebrate and acknowledge), and it's rather nice to celebrate Thanksgiving not once, but twice.  And, the best part is, I don't even care about the meal.  Turkey and pumpkin pie don't do a lot for me, so I just get to celebrate the happy internal part, without the feast that leaves you feeling overfull and sick for the next two days!

And that's what I'm doing today.  Pausing to give thanks.  To think, as I move through my day, about the things I'm grateful for, and focus on those instead of on all the challenges of life right now.  My goal is to have a nice long daily 5 list at the end of the night tonight of all the things that come to mind today for which to give thanks.

So, today I'm virtually waving "hello" to my American friends and family, and wishing you a very Happy Thanksgiving.  I'd give each of you a hug if I was nearby.  May you know rich blessings of joy and peace and grace today, and have many, many things for which to give thanks.

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 101

Today's Daily 5:

1. Finishing work early, even if it was only because I arrived two hours earlier than usual
2. organic fruit
3. as a team, pulling off a very important meeting successfully
4. solving scheduling woes
5. having a place at mom and dad's to escape to, even temporarily
6. the generosity of friends and family offering rides to make errands and getting to and from appointments easier in the midst of this crazy deep freeze.
7. chatting on skype with a dear friend currently located on the other side of the world in a climate I'm totally jealous of (one where palm trees grow outdoors)
8. tea and candles
9. finishing a nagging little repair job task on a pillow that I use all the time
10. spending the evening playing a game on my laptop, and listening to a fascinating audio book

No More Tolerance

When I started using the reading plans on my Iphone's Bible app, it was because I was trying to re-introduce some sort of regularity and discipline to my time in scripture.  I wanted to be able to say at the end of the day that I was regularly reading scripture, because that's what "good christians" do.


I didn't expect those couple of chapters a day to become a fixture of the way I start my morning, usually on public transit, and honestly, though I know it's God's word, I really wasn't expecting God to speak.  But He does.  Almost every morning, if I'm willing to listen.


Yesterday I read this:


2 Corinthians 11:20 (The Message)

"You have such admirable tolerance for impostors who rob your freedom, rip you off, steal you blind, put you down—even slap your face!"

And I'm thinking about how this year of deconstruction has been teaching me about impostors.  About the people and things, (spiritual or physical) that rob my freedom, my peace and my joy.


I think I'm learning that I have a say in this whole process.  That, as Paul was reminding the Corinthians, sometimes I tolerate those impostors - the lies that come to steal, kill and destroy.  I give them free reign to hurt me, to slap my face.

I've spent a lot of time this year working at recovering.  It's seemed that every time I've begun to pick up the pieces, another part of my life has shattered.  The deconstruction has continued and continues.  Two more blows have come this last week.  And there are more pieces to sort out, and either discard or piece together again.  And the pieces that have shattered carry with them the certainty of more shattering to come.  Not possibility, but certainty.

But, I do get to choose whether or not I'm going to tolerate the impostors.  The lies that come in force with each moment of shattering.  I'm learning that I've tolerated far too much.  Sometimes, now, the recovery comes more quickly.  I'm thankful to have found myself amidst a group of friends who I can count on to speak truth, and point out the impostors when I can't see them.  Friends who speak directly, and with much love, telling me which things are lies.

So, going forward, the goal is no more tolerance.  No more letting the impostors hang out and steal my freedom.  That's the goal anyway.  And I pray in the midst of less tolerance, I will slowly collect the old pieces and find new ones.  That healing and life and wholeness will come in ways I can only long for and imagine.

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 100

Today's Daily 5:

1. 1 year, 100 days of writing these lists
2. Surviving a day in the place that was the coldest in North America today, and allegedly the second coldest in world
3. The moments that aren't marked by numbness or avoidance, but simply the acknowledgment that reality is ever-shifting, and even in the midst of the insanity, there can be peace
4. continuing to receive daily prayer emails for countries around the world
5. lighting candles around my bedroom