Still Small Voice of Love - Henri Nouwen

another helpful reminder from Henri Nouwen...

The Still, Small Voice of Love

Many voices ask for our attention. There is a voice that says, "Prove that you are a good person." Another voice says, "You'd better be ashamed of yourself." There also is a voice that says, "Nobody really cares about you," and one that says, "Be sure to become successful, popular, and powerful." But underneath all these often very noisy voices is a still, small voice that says, "You are my Beloved, my favor rests on you." That's the voice we need most of all to hear. To hear that voice, however, requires special effort; it requires solitude, silence, and a strong determination to listen.

That's what prayer is. It is listening to the voice that calls us "my Beloved."

Fire and Shootings (praying for hope)

I'm caught by these headlines this morning.

The new year is only 14 days old, and my city has already had 5 deaths by homicide. Gang violence is growing, and a shooting New Year's Day was shockingly close to my home.

Another Gang Shooting in Calgary Leaves One Dead, Two Seriously Injured

And a fire on a first nations reserve on Vancouver Island claimed the lives of five people overnight as well.

5 Dead in Vancouver Island House Fire

I'm tired. and death and it's accompanyment seem close today. so I'm caught by these headlines and find myself praying again. for protection. for health and strength. for peace. for joy. for hope.

Headline...

Pope Declares "Holy War" Against People who Falsely Claim to Have Seen the Virgin Mary

Words

I grow increasingly, daily more aware of the power inherent in words.

Of the way they can harm another.

Of the way that spoken out of turn, at the wrong time, they can wreak havoc and cause devastation.

Of the fact that words that are not chosen with care can expose and damage the hearts of others.

Just when I thought it was over...

Just when I thought it might finally be coming to an end. This year of madness and insanity. This year of deep brokenness. Just when I thought that it was over. That I was done. That it was finally going to be possible to move on, it kicked back into gear again.

More tears.

More exhaustion.

More disturbing dreams.

The growing distance. (I hate the distance.)

It's still going on all around me. It's still going on inside of me.

And the question is this: Can I be done? Or must it still be engaged? Can something that so deeply affects me, and those I care about deeply, be ignored until it really does go away? When will it all end? And what does living out life in the meantime look like?

And so, I'm back to waiting and praying. The tears spill over on a regular basis - a several times daily basis. My heart is shattered, and I wonder if it will ever be whole again. I wonder some days if whole is what I really want, or if shattered is maybe the thing that looks more like Jesus' heart anyway.