Smile List - September 7 Edition

Here is the list of things making me smile today. The things I love, and am thankful for.

• hot pink crocs that were a Christmas gift from my brothers a few years back, and that I pulled out of my closet this morning to use as convenient shoes to keep by our back door for tramping to and from the back yard and garbage bins in the alley.
• cozy Winnie the Pooh slipper socks
• the smell of banana bread baking in my kitchen
• a morning of enjoying the house to myself while my roommates are at church and running errands
• an unexpected phone call from a friend who was part of a really hard conversation a week ago, wanting to know how I was doing, how my heart was, and "was I choosing life?"
• a long list of things that I've accomplished around our house this morning, including, baking, washing dishes, sweeping and mopping the kitchen, sweeping the living room and my bedroom, canceling my cable service in favor of better service from a new company, and taking the garbage out. I never want to start cleaning, but always draw great satisfaction from doing it once I get started.
• the Mamma Mia movie soundtrack (an itunes purchase this morning) playing LOUDLY in my house while I baked and cleaned.
• singing along, and maybe even dancing (shock! horror!) a little to the aforementioned soundtrack, particularly "Mamma Mia" and "Dancing Queen" while cleaning and baking.
  
• 2 dozen red roses, still hanging in there, in my bedroom
• house plants
• that the cable installation from the new company didn't take as long this morning as they warned me it might, thus effectively giving me a morning alone at home
  
• a ring I bought in Lake Louise yesterday
• a medal with Clare of Assisi around my neck on a pretty white gold chain
  
• plans to spend the afternoon doing some more stuff that needs to be accomplished around my house, reading scripture, maybe taking a bath, and probably taking a nap.
• bottled water
• an emerald in my nose ring today
  

Mountains

When you live in the part of the world I live in, it's fairly inevitable that you spend at least some time in the mountains as you're growing up.

I've always loved the mountains - I learned to meet God in creation when I spent time in them. Even during the years of depression, a day of hiking, or simply driving and spending time in the mountains could lift my spirits.

Until recently. The last couple of trips I've made out to the mountains have been pretty hard on me. And suddenly, I've had absolutely no desire to be in the places my heart has loved for years. In fact, the times have been so hard on me that I've been afraid to be in the mountains - wondering if it was simply the atmosphere of the places I visited that made it so difficult to enjoy what I'd always loved.

I'm going to the mountains today. And to be honest, I'm dreading it a bit. I'm serving as the driver of a rental car that will take myself, one of my roommate's, and a houseguest who's been staying with us for about a week to the mountains. Those of you who know me well will know that the fact that I'm driving is making it that much harder for me to do this.

But I'm going to do it. And I'm hopefully going to meet with Jesus. They're planning a two hour hike that my energy levels right now won't allow me to do. So I'll be sitting in the car and sleeping or reading. Or sitting in a hotel by a beautiful mountain lake and sipping tea and writing, or (if the weather permits) simply sitting by the lake.

I don't like being afraid of the places my heart loves.

So, as much as I'm laying here in bed, getting ready to get up and go pick up the rental car, and fighting panic, I'm going to do this.

Choosing Words Wisely - Choosing Life

another thought from Henri Nouwen:

Choosing Words Wisely

Words are very important. When we say to someone: "You are an ugly, useless, despicable person," we might have ruined the possibility for a relationship with that person for life. Words can continue to do harm for many years.

It is so important to choose our words wisely. When we are boiling with anger and eager to throw bitter words at our opponents, it is better to remain silent. Words spoken in rage will make reconciliation very hard. Choosing life and not death, blessings and not curses often starts by choosing to remain silent or choosing carefully the words that open the way to healing.

Smile List - Thursday Afternoon Edition

Been needing this all day, but only now finding the time to sit down and write one.

These are the things that I love, that I'm thankful for, that are making me smile right now:

• soft, brown suede boots
• a multicolored tweed skirt, that incorporates several of my favorite colors including orange, brown, and turquoise
• my "bohemian" purse from the Tibetan shop
• a note from a dear friend last night, reminding me that she loves me
• the rosary I brought home from Rome
• that there are just under two hours left in this workday
• that tomorrow is casual Friday and I can wear jeans to the office
• Karla Adolphe's song "Hold Me Near"
• The Garden State movie soundtrack
• being back in the habit of writing in my paper journal daily
• plans for a quiet morning mostly alone in the house on Sunday
• five reminder stones sitting on my desk
• taco wraps with my roommates and a houseguest for dinner tonight
• plans for a quiet evening, holed up in my bedroom with lit candles, reading, writing, making a couple phone calls, and hopefully getting to bed early
• a truly tasteless (but quite funny) joke that a friend told me this morning
• remembering the great evening one of my roommates and I spent on my birthday about a month ago, watching the movie "Mamma Mia"
• 2 dozen red roses in a vase on my dressing table at home
• lovely smells emanating from an oil burner in my bedroom
• mango exfoliant scrub from The Body Shop
• roiibos tea
• sheepskin lined slippers with a kiwi fruit print (a gift from my roommate - sort of a joke since both of my roommates are from New Zealand)

More on choosing life...

Another thought on choosing life from Henri Nouwen

Waiting with Our Response

Choosing life instead of death demands an act of will that often contradicts our impulses. Our impulses want to take revenge, while our wills want to offer forgiveness. Our impulses push us to an immediate response: When someone hits us in the face, we impulsively want to hit back.

How then can we let our wills dominate our impulses? The key word is wait. Whatever happens, we must put some space between the hostile act directed toward us and our response. We must distance ourselves, take time to think, talk it over with friends, and wait until we are ready to respond in a life-giving way. Impulsive responses allow evil to master us, something we always will regret. But a well thought-through response will help us to "master evil with good" (Romans 12.21).