More lines from Rilke

This season seems unending at moments lately. Hard slogging, and crashing waves of emotion that feel as if they're drowning me.

I was flipping through "Rilke's Book of Hours" again tonight, and came across a few lines that speak to the way I'm feeling again lately.

I yearn to be held
in the great hands of your heart -
oh let them take me now.

Into them I place these fragments, my life,
and you, God - spend them however you want.
(pg. 139)

~~~

In deep nights I dig for you like treasure
For all I have seen
that clutters the surface of my world
is poor and paltry substitute
for the beauty of you
that has not happened yet....

My hands are bloody from digging.
I lift them, hold them open in the wind,
so they can branch like a tree.

Reaching, these hands would pull you out of the sky
as if you had shattered there,
dashed yourself to pieces in some wild impatience.

What is this I feel falling now,
falling on this parched earth,
softly,
like a spring rain?
(pg. 187)

~~~

Your first word of all was light,
and time began. Then for long you were silent.

Your second word was man, and fear began,
which grips us still.

Are you about to speak again?
I don't want your third word.

Sometimes I pray: Please don't talk.
Let all your doing be by gesture only.
Go on writing in faces and stone
what your silence means.

Be our refuge from the wrath
that drove us out of Paradise.

Be our shepherd, but never call us -
we can't bear to know what's ahead.
(pg. 103)

Home

I am so glad to report that I'm home.

It was a very long weekend.

The work stuff went more smoothly than I expected.

The personal stuff was way harder than I expected.

I'm home.

Back to work tomorrow.

Praying to survive until next weekend when I can rest properly.

Heading Out

I'm getting up at 4:30 tomorrow morning. I'm being picked up at 6:00. I've laid out mouse poison in various spots around our house. Here's hoping it works better than the traps have.

I'll be at a work conference for the weekend, and probably won't have access to the internet, so I probably won't be posting until at least Sunday night.

Picture nearly 300 mennonites converging on a 5 star hotel for a weekend. Now picture me in the middle of it. Now picture me spending my Saturday trying to corral somewhere between 30 and 50 Mennonite children, who speak varying degrees of English, while teaching them a craft project. Yeah. Really looking forward to it.

This has been a very long and hard day, and, given the fact that I don't sleep very well to start with, and the fact that I have to get up at 4:30, I'm heading for bed.

Headline that caught my eye

Pope Remembers John Paul as Sainthood Pleas Grow

How I've Been Feeling Lately...

I've been a little cranky and overwhelmed with life lately (okay, I can hear those of you who've talked to me in the last week or two dieing of laughter out there at my understatement. stop laughing at me!)

Anyway... I came across this cartoon on The Naked Pastor today, and had to laugh. Seems I've had this slightly cranky conversation with Jesus an awful lot lately. The "you do realize that even if you manage to keep me from drowning, it'll still take a miracle to get me to solid ground again" conversation.

You can see the cartoon here.