Out

(everytime I see the word out on it's own, I think of that line from Shakespeare - can't remember which play, Macbeth or Hamlet, I think, high school english is kind of blurry... anyway, the line I always think of is "out damn spot!")

With that rabbit trail aside, let me first tell you that you will hopefully get a properly developed, not written on the fly, reflection of what I'm currently thinking about later today.

But, in the meantime...

I had a conversation with my youngest brother last night. Turns out we are at the moment of the same sentiment regarding Calgary. We both desperately need some time away from the city. We have some of the same reasons, and some reasons personal to each of us, but we are in agreement, it has become an almost desperate longing to get away from Calgary for at least a few days. He's going to Edmonton this weekend for a school choir concert (but since he hates choir, that's not so much a break!) I on the other hand, have no immediate plans for escape, but am hoping something irresistible will come up sometime soon.

See you later today, I hope!

Pastor's Kid Evening (even when you're not a kid anymore!)

I’m doing errands tonight. My parents are involved in some sort of counseling situation that requires privacy, and since the church office is in our home, that’s also where this type of meeting takes place.

If I don’t go out for the evening, I’m basically stuck confined to my bedroom for as long as their meeting lasts.

I always hated this part of being a pastor’s kid as a teenager – having to give up freedom in my own house because of dad’s job.

I can’t say that I’m all that much more crazy about it now, but at least I have a driver’s license, and access to a car tonight. I can escape the in-home prison. I’m off to a local Christian bookstore to look for study guides on Mark, to a computer shop to buy an adapter that will allow my laptop to plug into the church’s data projector for the next youth event, to the library, to return books and pick up some others, and possibly to a coffee shop to do some writing if I still need to kill time after the first set of errands are accomplished.

Resources on the book of Mark?

(this should probably be titled "random thoughts" but I thought I'd use the title to highlight the most important question on my mind at the moment!)

I'm rather cranky just at the moment.

My favorite mood music playlist is running in itunes, but it's not helping yet.

I want to do something, anything, but I don't know what, and frankly, I'm not all that motivated to pick something and actually engage in doing it.

I'm wishing for friends to hang out with again.

I am wondering about this deep thing within me that I have felt shifting. I am learning what it means to know deep within what it is to be beloved of the king.

I am thinking about a conversation I had yesterday at lunch, about broken people within the church, and within missionary communities around the world. I was talking with an MK newly arrived from Thailand, and our shared stories, mine from Canada and hers from overseas touched the longing places in my heart, restirring dreams long planted by God.

I am postponing the beginning of prep for a bible study I start leading this coming Saturday. I feel rather inadequate, and as such unmotivated to really dig in and start studying the scripture I've chosen to work through with these girls.

On that note, does anyone have any really great resources on the book of Mark? We're going to work through the Gospel of Mark, and I have some resources to aid me in preparing, but if you can recommend something, let me know! (To be honest, I picked Mark because I've been camped there for quite a while now, and it's dual purpose research - for my own current writing project and for the Bible study!)

I'm hating living with my parents just presently. There is a seemingly constant clash of opinions, of worldviews. It's hard to be an adult in the home of your parents. I hate that in some ways, despite my own sense independence, my finances make me still dependent on them at times.

A Tense Moment

My brother Tim and I had a few tense moments this morning. You see, we were quite desperate to get tickets to an upcoming concert in town, and tried to get them in the pre-buy yesterday. The prebuy sold out in three minutes.

So, we were both ready on ticketmaster's website this morning. Him at work, and me at home, on our cell phones (we didn't want to end up with four tickets at 90 bucks a pop).

We thought we had them, we hung up. He was going to pay. He called right back. A problem with his ticketmaster account. He had a line on another pair, but it wouldn't let him buy them. So I managed to get some, and the last pair we had are probably the best pair. The seats are decent, far enough up the bowl that we'll be able to see the stage. But we had ten tense minutes wondering if our dreams would be dashed!

And the concert that we hung our hopes on? Rascal Flats. I know that some of you will consider it my one failing that I love country music, but I can't help it. I just do, and Rascal Flats is some of the best country music around. Plus, my brother loves them (if not necessarily country) even more than I do. So, my youngest brother and I are headed to a concert on February 22nd!

Unrestfully at Rest

I am in a bit of a strange place this morning. The best way I can describe it is the title I used for this post - unrestfully at rest.

There is a quietness in my soul today, that has been lacking the last several weeks. And yet, circumstances would seem to dictate that it should not exist. I received some painful news yesterday afternoon. I am soul weary, but at peace - a peace that I described in my journal this morning as all encompassing and yet strangely empty.

There is a lyric from a Chris Tomlin song that has been floating around my head since yesterday morning, and is resonating in deep places today. "I am loved by the King, and it makes my heart want to sing."

Abba, I belong to you. Show me where you're working today and how I can join you.