Today

To be honest, today was a really good day in a lot of ways. It was long, but filled with people and things that I love.

I attended my dad's church this morning. That's always a little hard, because it's weird to not really be a visitor, but not really belong either. But, I really enjoyed the service today. There was a great worship time, and I enjoyed my dad's sermon on the character of Caleb. I think I'll go back and read a bit about him in the next few days (Caleb that is, not my dad!)

After church I joined my parents and a couple from their church for lunch at the local farmer's market. The guy has been a sort of mentor figure in my life for a long time, and I got the chance to talk with him a bit about some stuff that's come up in my life recently, and about some situations at church that I'm involved in and frustrated by. I love spending time with this couple and their five year old son - he's such a cutie, so smart and funny for a little kid.

After lunch, I fell asleep in an armchair in our living room, watching the classic version of the movie "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" on CBC. I love those old musicals made for families, and I hadn't seen this one since I was a child. I regret falling asleep a bit, and missing the movie, but it was such a relaxing way to spend the afternoon.

Had Vietnamese take out for dinner in a park along the Elbow River with Megs, and then we came home and watched a movie until she had to head to work for her night shift a few minutes ago. We semi-cemented some plans for the future. It's looking like we might move in together sometime in February. So, as soon as I get a job, I'll start saving for a car, and hopefully by February, when Megs returns from Pakistan, I'll have a vehicle and be ready to move in with her. We're also planning a trip to BC together at the end of September - she has a family wedding to attend, and I've been hoping to spend some time with a couple of friends who are living in the Vancouver area.

God, give me peace. Thank you for the people and things you've laid on my heart over this weekend. Continue to reveal your heart to me over the course of this week. I long for deeper relationship with you. I'm in love with you. Guide in the situations of tension I find myself involved with at the moment. Present your clear hand and steps, and make my path known to me. Thank for the blessing of a day spent with family and friends, and the promise of the same tomorrow. Abba, I belong to you. I'm yours. Wherever and whatever you want. I'm there.

Thoughts from Ignatius

I'll probably write a longer post sometime today or tomorrow, as lots of things are floating around my mind again this morning. But, in the meantime, I got this quote in an email this morning, and it challenged me, so I thought I'd pass it along...

It is not that I want merely to be called a Christian, but actually to be one. Yes, if I prove to be one, then I can have the name.—Ignatius of Antioch (35-120)

Sitting and Thinking

I'm a bit tired today, drained from a week that has thus far been quite busy. I'm a people person, and I tend to pour myself completely into whatever person I'm spending time with at any given moment.

I also need lots of time alone, but that time hasn't been as restful lately. I spend quite a lot of my alone time shut in my bedroom, away from my family. It feels a little like hiding or prison, but is so much smoother and easier than the stress of spending tons of time with them and feeling that I need to defend the choices I'm making in life. When I was sharing my situation at house church on Tuesday, one of the guys mentioned that his sister and her husband are in a similar situation, living with her husband's parents for a time. I've thought of them this week, and prayed for an easing of tension, a calmness and peace.

I spent a chunk of the morning with a friend who is off to China in about two weeks, and is off to facilitate a kids camp for the next ten days or so. We caught up on each others lives, and took advantage of what will be one of the last two times we'll see each other before she heads for China and then returns to her home in Langley directly after China. She's one of the people I'm hoping to spend some time with when I hopefully make a trip to the West Coast towards the end of September. We met on my trip to Mexico, and have been together fairly regularly since. I value her friendship and thoughts highly - she thinks deeply and loves God wholeheartedly.

I just finished reading a book by Chaim Potok titled "Davita's Harp". A beautiful story, that poses uncomfortable questions. I loved the depiction of the history, the religious tension, and so on. It left a sweet if somewhat unsatisfied taste.

I find myself fascinated again recently by Judaism, and the Jewishness of Jesus. The depth that is added to scripture by a strong understanding of Judaism, by studying the Old Testament using Jewish sources, by recognizing that Christ was shaped by and spoke initially to a culture that is not "Christian" is fascinating. Been listening to some sermons by Rob Bell, reading some of "Velvet Elvis" and reading Potok's work. All of these are increasing my fascination. I think one of my next reads will be "Wanderings: Chaim Potok's History of the Jews."

I'm also loving the prophetic books of scripture at the moment. Reading chunks of Isaiah, and planning to wade my way through Ezekiel and some of the minor prophets again. The first time I read through the entire Bible I fell in love with Ezekiel. Seems funny to me now, but I loved it. I continue to be captured by Isaiah 61 - the message of redemption promised. I feel myself being pulled ever deeper into the things of God, the things He is speaking, and I am anxiously excited for what He reveals. I hunger for His words, for knowledge and understanding of that which He is speaking, to see His hands moving and join Him in His works.

I'm off soon for a short work shift at the Bay this evening. Had a job interview yesterday, and a couple scheduled for tomorrow. Still waiting for something to be provided. Still waiting for complete release.

Run Baby Run

I'm living in a place of tension at the moment. I'm tired, and a little frustrated, but so confident that God is working somewhere in this, that I am being obedient to Him.

As I drove to house church tonight, I was playing a Jason Upton CD again, just trying to soak for a while before entering house church which has been a place of tension and so on lately, and I've just been trying to spend the half-hour I spend driving there preparing my heart to meet God. Anyway, as I was driving, I was caught by the song "Run Baby Run." I played it over and over and over again. I must have listened to it 4 times on my way there, over and over, not really completely cluing into why this was significant.

House church was small tonight. We're in summer mode, and that means that people are all over the place. We spent some time simply sharing, and I ended up sharing with the group the tension in my family and home situation right now, and my need to find a job and buy a car so that I can move out of my parents home.

I've known for some time that God is continually calling me to deeper things. That He is placing before me the fulfillment of some of my dreams, that there is incredible freedom waiting for me on the other side of this time in my life, and that I will not be able to walk into these things while I am living in my parents home. I shared all of this, crying (which still always surprises me because it's still so new), and was prayed over, and am grateful.

But here's what became clear. I am living in a place of tension. I feel and hear God speaking words of release over me, over my life and my next steps. But I also feel that the push forward from God is being counteracted by the the grip of my relationship with my parents and brothers. So I am waiting, praying for the fulfillment of my needs as I posture myself to begin to take the steps God is asking of me.

I want to leave you with the chorus of "Run Baby Run" because I hear God speaking it so strongly over my life tonight. I had a picture earlier of the sense of God's release. Picture a child riding a two-wheeled bicycle for the first time. The parent steadies it, holds on, and then eventually lets go. But the letting go is not an abandonment, the child is not suddenly alone. The hands of the father are still there, still supporting, the father runs alongside to make sure the child is secure. I sense God speaking that kind of release over my life. Not a release where he lets go and I am suddenly alone, but a chance to fly, with his presence and support never wavering.

Run baby run

my hands release you

baby run baby run

just as fast as you can

run till your legs lead your heart to the real truth

youÂ’re my daughter, my son,

so run baby run baby run

Fantastic Day

Today was the best day I have had in a very long time. Megs and I spent the whole day together, driving, hiking, talking, eating, planning and scheming for ways to make the rest of the summer this fantastic. We drove the Highwood Pass - the highest drivable pass in Canada. You can see the summit sign here.

So, just to prove how fantastic it was (in case you don't see me before my "you missed some spots" sunburn fades), let me give you some pictures, and some commentary to go with the pictures.

This is us at the Esso station in Longview. We picked up some of the famous Longview Beef Jerky, and headed up into the pass from there.






This is Megs, by the sign for Pickle Jar creek. We're collecting funny signs this summer.








This is Ptarmigan Cirque.


















Here you have Megs sampling some of the ice cold mountain water, and a couple of the nicer scenery shots we took.

As we drove back to the city, we began scheming and came up with a list of ten or so things that we're going to do together (and with other friends if they'd like to join us) over the next three months. We're going to document each thing with pictures or journal entries, or both, and put together a scapbook of our summer. We've already started on the pages for today.

It was such a blessing and refreshment to spend this day in the the mountains with one of my closest friends. We talked about God and church last night, and life and boys, and food, and plans for the future. We schemed and planned fun for the rest of the summer, talked about bikinis, and even went shopping for bathings suits (she found one, I didn't yet...)

But we mostly just hung out, listened to each other, shared life, the things God is showing us, the things we want to learn and understand about Him, and enjoyed the freedom from distraction, the fresh air, the beauty of one of my favorite parts of the mountains, and the chance to simply be together. We got lost, at ice cream at a mountain store, ate beef jerky, ate a lot of apples and carrots, drank water from a mountain stream, listened to at least 5 different cds, saw a black bear, and a whole lot of big horned sheep, nearly swerved into oncoming traffic to avoid hitting a gopher (her not me), hiked a six kilometer loop that climbed the mountain to the beautiful meadow and cirque and then wound its way back down, shopped for supplies for our scrapbook, learned how to upload photos from her camera to my computer and how to print photos from her memory card at Walmart, got sunburned, had Subway for dinner, went bathing suit shopping and so on. And the whole time we just caught up on each others lives, talked about the things we struggle with, and the things we're loving right now, caught up on each other's families and mutual friends. We had no time restraints, nothing to be back for, no schedule, and we loved every minute of it.

Praise God for the blessing of a beautiful day spent with friends!