Quote of the Moment

I've been collecting quotes for ages. Whenever I find a good one, I jot it and its source on an index card, and file them alphabetically by author in a box. I think I'll start putting some of them up here every once in a while.

The quote of the moment happens to be the first one I grabbed from my alphabetical box, but rather applicable to my life anyway. It's from "The Confessions" by Augustine.

"Through your own merciful dealings with me, O Lord my God, tell me what you are to me. Say to my soul, I am your salvation. Say it so that I can hear it. My heart is listening, Lord; open the ears of my heart and say to my soul, I am your salvation. Let me run toward this voice and seize hold of you. Do not hide your face from me: let me die so that I may see it, for not to see it would be death to me indeed."

List of Favorites

It's been a while again since I've published a list of all things favored in the present moment by myself! So, without further ado, here is the current list of Lisa's favorites, in no particular order.

Books

• Stumbling Toward Faith by Renee Altson. I devoted a whole post to this one. I have purchased it for friends, one of whom is planning to read a quote from it when sharing her own story to a group of people. This book was/is the most powerful thing I have read in an extraordinarily long time. Everyone should buy it and read it, and then you should all buy a copy and give it to a friend, so even more people can read it!
• Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. I know, I know, the rest of the "Christian" world read this one a year and a half ago. So, I just finished it about a month ago. It was still a fascinating and worthwhile read, and worthy of mention here.
• The Mitford Years series, by Jan Karon. Fun novels, set in a small town, about an Episcopal priest. Clean, funny, poignant, enjoyable. They somehow manage to be somewhat profound instead of trite.
• The Ashley Stockingdale novels, by Kristin Billerbeck. There are three, and I read them all on my five day mini vacation last week. Light brain candy reading. Funny and enjoyable chick lit!
• The Word on the Street by Rob Lacey. This British actor/writer/singer/dancer/artist has done a fabulous job of rewriting portions of the Bible in fun, modern language. I have been reading this one because it's been so hard to pick up the "actual" scriptures lately. The Bible with a British twist, written while Lacey was in the throes of a battle with terminal cancer is a refreshing way to read scripture.

Music

• Sons and Daughters Steve Bell. I love Steve Bell. I love the depth of his lyrics. I love that they are not the trite worship songs that seem to appear so regularly right now. I've had this album for a while, but have been listening to it again recently, and loving it all over again.
• The Mystery Vineyard Music. I don't know why, I just like this one. It's different, not your typical worship songs (although we do sing a number of them at my church). I especially like track 11 - Rescue Me. The words are quite powerful.

Books on CD

• For Matrimonial Purposes by Kavita Daswani, read by Anne Flosnik. A funny story about a young Indian woman who is looking to fulfill the cultural and parental goal of finding a husband. Quite well read, amusing, and ultimately a fun, fairly clean (some of the language is a bit rought) story about finding oneself and finding love along the way. (If you live in Calgary, you can get this one at the Public Library - that's where I happened to pick it up.)

Movies

• The Motorcycle Diaries Another one that everyone but me saw months ago. Still, the story was beautiful, fascinating and profound. It presents an interesting picture of Che Guevera who, despite being one semester away from a degree in history, I only vaguely knew of as a marxist revolutionary in Cuba, who appears on t-shirts and posters to this day. The story is so intriguing that I intend to do a bit more reading on his life in the next few weeks before school starts again.

So, there you have it! My current list of all things making me think, laugh, meditate etc. Pick some of them up, and then leave me your thoughts on them. I sometimes think my picks are entirely random, and that I'm the only person in the whole world who would enjoy them!

Stumbling Towards Faith

I read a book over the last week and a half that has changed my life. I can't really tell you how it has changed me, but it has changed me. I understand some things about myself better. I understand that I am not as alone as I have felt in some of the struggles I have been going through - the depression, the questions about God and faith, the anger.

I started reading it on the Monday two weeks ago, the night after my church spent the evening teaching on the passage in Mark about Jesus delivering the demon possessed boy. You know the passage. It's the one that ends with the statement that I think is one of the most profound in scripture. The father of the boy says to Jesus, "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief."

In the two weeks since I started to read this book, I have been telling everyone I know to pick it up and read it. I started thinking about that last night. Some of my friends are not going to "get" this book. I think they'll think I'm a heretic or something for loving it. But there is something so refreshingly honest, so real, so beautiful about the author's words - about the way she expresses the wounds inflicted upon her, and the way she progresses towards healing. The book does not resolve. I told a friend that last night (one of the friends who probably won't "get" this book because she doesn't understand my depression either), and she said that maybe the author did that so that she can write another book. I don't care. If she writes another book, I'll buy it based on the beauty I found in this one, but I love that this first book doesn't resolve. That the author wrestles throughout with Christians with pat answers, and that she doesn't become one is astounding. She is still processing. Yes, there is hope, and it is brilliant in light of her journey, but her last statement is somewhat more profound. She quotes the father from Mark, "i do believe. help thou, o god, my unbelief."

This book is artistic - interspersed with photography and the author's stunning poetry. there are no capital letters in sight - something I as a grammar freak never thought would work, but something that adds immense power to her words.

This book is a story of abuse, of woundedness, of questioning, and ultimately of the beginnings of healing. I still think everyone should read it, even if they don't "get" it. Maybe for those who don't "get" it, it will be a stretching exercise, a way to see into the lives of their friends and family who live in darker places than they themselves inhabit.

Now that I've set you up, the book that you must go and buy has the same title as this post. It is called "stumbling toward faith: my longing to heal from the evil that God allowed." The author is Renee Altson, and her words are beautiful and powerful. Her story is powerful. It's a little book - you could probably read it in a day if you wanted, but take time with it, and really absorb her words. You should see my copy - the paragraph on paragraph that I have marked, because I related or knew someone who would, because I was forced to stop and take stock of things in my own life that this touched upon.

Reading this book has given voice to some areas of my life that were long silenced. It has defined some wounds, and the ultimate desires for healing and freedom from those same wounds. Go read the book!

Bono on Faith

I recently found this link to an interesting excerpt from a new book about Bono. I thought he had some interesting things to say. Check it out here.

22

So, I'm older than when I last posted. I celebrated my 22nd birthday on Sunday. I don't know how much this really matters to me. Time has had a way of blurring due to the realities of my life in the last year.

I thoroughly enjoyed having five days in a row off. I should do that more often! I rented a car and drove through the mountains all day on Saturday. It was beautiful. Just me, my younger brother, some great tunes, good conversation, and beautiful scenery. I should do that more often too.

Saturday night I drove myself to a parking lot that has become a favorite place of mine. I sat in the dark, looking over the city lights, watching planes land, listening to music, thinking and journalling. It was a special time. Just me, and my journal, and God. I didn't have much to say to Him, I said it quickly, and then just sat, finally quiet with Him. It wasn't anything that was stunningly profound, just time away, time to regroup, to focus some thoughts.

I have more questions than answers. I wonder if I'll always be that way. I have more wounds than cures. I hope I won't always be that way.

I had a conversation with a good friend last night, sharing honestly with him the depth of pain and desperation in which I have found myself this last month. He said something that made me pause. He said that maybe this is a good thing, because now, I desperately need the salvation of God - that I am learning the meaning of daily salvation. He might be right.