Another mish mash sort of post...
Hung out with Megs again last night. We talked a lot more about the opportunity that has presented itself to us. Tried to decide if we've lost our minds, and decided that we have, but it sure feels right! Had another driving lesson and stalled her car for the first time... whoops... can I just say that I'm not the most coordinated person at the best of times, and driving that suddenly requires two feet is just a little more complicated than my brain is willing to handle! We discovered another interesting "God" coincidence and laughed as we shared the similar things we've been learning as individuals. And we had an important reminder. We'd talked about praying together again (something we try to do regularly, but especially now with our new opportunity) and meant to do it, but didn't. She'd literally walked out my door, gotten in her car and started to drive away. I'd settled into something else when I heard her come back into our house, tell my dad she'd forgotten something, and as I headed out to meet her, propelled me back down the hallway into my bedroom, closing the door behind us. "We forgot to pray, and if we're not praying about this than it isn't worth anything and it will come to nothing." A good reminder. So, we once again committed ourselves, our opportunity, and the forthcoming days and weeks to God. A sweet way to end an evening with one of my dearest friends.
Got up early this morning because someone gave my mom and I tickets to the "Women of Faith" conference that was being held at the Saddledome today. We kind of laughed and enjoyed our way through the day.
I did realize though, that I'm not cut out for huge groups of Christians in one place. I can never decide if I like it or hate it. I guess the whole "family of God" illustration isn't that far off - I feel the same way a lot of the time about my blood relatives too!
Also, that many women in one place... wow... that's a whole lot of estrogen. I don't often hang out with groups of women. To be honest, I don't know a lot of women that I find intellectually stimulating to converse with. I have a lot of friends that I love - very intellectual women, but as a whole, I'd usually rather be part of a conversation that guys are having than one that girls are having... But some of the women who spoke today... I laughed my way through their words, and even gained some insights. I am challenged to become someone who can communicate well - who can easily share the things that I am passionate about, or that God is teaching me.
And with that I'm off to take the evening off. I'm going to curl up with a novel, do a little bit of creative stuff, and just hang (possibly with Megs who needs to drop her violin off at my place to avoid it being in her car in the heat all day while she's at work tomorrow, but won't have time to run home and pick it up before church.)
Tomorrow I'm planning a day of rest and relaxation. Time to think and pray and hang out with God. Time to read and time to just be. (And maybe a little bit of laundry thrown in!)
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Prayin' my way through today
I've spent quite a few chunks of time talking to God today. I had a job interview this morning that brought me face to face with a bit of the reality of the new opportunity that has arisen. The job will be impossible for me to accept because of the opportunity. Tried to call the friend who I'm considering this with, but she wasn't around, so I left a message.
I sat down at the bus stop and began to wonder if I'd been mistaking God for an adrenaline rush. Thankfully I had my journal in my purse, so I used the half-hour I had waiting for the bus, the bus trip, and the second bus trip (after the transfer) to journal and pray. I'd already been talking to God this morning, asking for His guidance, asking that the perfect opportunity would present itself in the case of my work situation. But I was caught off guard by the little dose of reality that came.
Then, I prayed my way through the walk to the next job interview (this one seems more promising) and my way through the walk home.
All that praying and here are my conclusions. I think this really is an opportunity from God. I think I'm going to continue moving forward as if the opportunity is definitely going to become a reality. I need to talk with my parents about the opportunity tonight or tomorrow. If I don't tell them soon, I'll back myself into a corner by telling evasive lies in answer to their questions about the job interviews I had today, and I don't want to lie about this.
That said, pray for me please as I tell my parents. Although my friend and I see God's fingerprints all over this crazy opportunity for our lives, I'm not so convinced that my practical, rational, religious parents will see the same. And I am a bit afraid to share this new thing with them, lest is be squashed in me, or lest it increase the tension in our home for the months until the opportunity can come to fruition.
And now, I'm off to pray my way through a shift at the Bay - one of the only ways to make an evening at the store worthwhile!
I sat down at the bus stop and began to wonder if I'd been mistaking God for an adrenaline rush. Thankfully I had my journal in my purse, so I used the half-hour I had waiting for the bus, the bus trip, and the second bus trip (after the transfer) to journal and pray. I'd already been talking to God this morning, asking for His guidance, asking that the perfect opportunity would present itself in the case of my work situation. But I was caught off guard by the little dose of reality that came.
Then, I prayed my way through the walk to the next job interview (this one seems more promising) and my way through the walk home.
All that praying and here are my conclusions. I think this really is an opportunity from God. I think I'm going to continue moving forward as if the opportunity is definitely going to become a reality. I need to talk with my parents about the opportunity tonight or tomorrow. If I don't tell them soon, I'll back myself into a corner by telling evasive lies in answer to their questions about the job interviews I had today, and I don't want to lie about this.
That said, pray for me please as I tell my parents. Although my friend and I see God's fingerprints all over this crazy opportunity for our lives, I'm not so convinced that my practical, rational, religious parents will see the same. And I am a bit afraid to share this new thing with them, lest is be squashed in me, or lest it increase the tension in our home for the months until the opportunity can come to fruition.
And now, I'm off to pray my way through a shift at the Bay - one of the only ways to make an evening at the store worthwhile!
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Musings on a Wednesday Morning
Okay, so my titling could use some help again. It's hard to come up with a title that will encompass everything I want to communicate in a super fast mish mash sort of way.
- First off, I saw the new "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie with my parents last night. I quite enjoyed it, which is somewhat unusual for me with that sort of movie. However, I did dream about that weird octopus headed dude all night last night. Are you beginning to see why I mostly stick to romantic comedies? Characters from those rarely manage to inhabit my dreams in a disturbing manner!
- Secondly, I have a birthday coming up in just a bit over a week. I'll be twenty three. It seems odd to me. I remember being fifteen and listing the things I wanted to have accomplished by this point in my life. I think the only one that came true is the finishing college one. At fifteen your time perspective is sort of skewed. At fifteen, twenty-three seemed so old, so adult, so settled. I figured I'd be married with babies by twenty three. At a few weeks shy of twenty three I'm immensely glad that I am in fact NOT married with babies (although I wouldn't mind if some prospective guys started appearing in my life!)
- Thirdly (is thirdly a word? we're going to pretend that it is, even if it isn't, because I just used it and I'm too lazy to come up with something else.) Thirdly, then, I have two job interviews scheduled for tomorrow. Hopefully one of these times one of the jobs will pan out.
- Finally, (or fourthly if you prefer) I'm off to get ready for work, write and mail a card to a friend, make a phone call or two, check my email and a couple of blogs, and then head off to work. Have a fantastic day!
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Free Evening
I'm looking for some way to spend my evening. I spent last evening with a friend, and then cleaning. I was supposed to have house church tonight, but apparently it's been cancelled... I hate when we cancel it. I really miss the chance to hang out with God and my friends all at the same time.
So, if you've got a good evening idea, give me a call... or send me an email! I'll probably do the usual reading and writing that I tend to devote huge chunks of my free time to, and I'll probably be near my computer off and on. I may do errands, or I may go and watch the new "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie.
More doors opened again yesterday in regards to the opportunity that has so recently presented itself to us. Makes me smile and laugh in bewilderment every time I think about it! I can hardly believe I'm even considering it, and yet, God seems to be leading in that direction. It's one of those things that seems to make all kinds of sense on the heart level, and hardly any sense at all on the head level.
It reminds me of these lyrics from a Jason Upton song that caught my attention again on the weekend:
It's more of what we need, and less of what we know
It calls not to our minds, but cries out to our soul.
It makes me smile a happy, bubbling, secret smile!
So, if you've got a good evening idea, give me a call... or send me an email! I'll probably do the usual reading and writing that I tend to devote huge chunks of my free time to, and I'll probably be near my computer off and on. I may do errands, or I may go and watch the new "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie.
More doors opened again yesterday in regards to the opportunity that has so recently presented itself to us. Makes me smile and laugh in bewilderment every time I think about it! I can hardly believe I'm even considering it, and yet, God seems to be leading in that direction. It's one of those things that seems to make all kinds of sense on the heart level, and hardly any sense at all on the head level.
It reminds me of these lyrics from a Jason Upton song that caught my attention again on the weekend:
It's more of what we need, and less of what we know
It calls not to our minds, but cries out to our soul.
It makes me smile a happy, bubbling, secret smile!
Monday, July 24, 2006
A crazy idea... and a couple other random thoughts
So, I'm still thinking and praying about the crazy opportunity that so suddenly came about on Friday night. The friend and I who are involved are sort of surprised at the responses we're getting as we begin to float it to our friends. I think, we, or at least I, really expected at least someone, if not everyone, to simply look at us and tell us it was a crazy, stupid idea. And that would be that. We'd simply move on to other things. But no one has said that to us. No one. Most people are surprised, but almost everyone responds the way one friend did last night - "I could totally see you guys doing that."
Huh. Okay. Well, the decision doesn't need to be made for a while yet. So we're going to take the advice of another friend and keep speaking the idea out to God, to our friends and families, to our church community and to each other, believing that doors will close and the opportunity will die if it is not where God is leading us. It seems to be a surreal idea, but, at this point, albeit only a few days since the opportunity so surprisingly arose, doors seem to be opening, not closing.
And now, the other random thought that my title not so subtly alludes to!
In the middle of worship last night we were singing a song that cries out to God for freedom. And as we sang, God directed me to pray these words I was singing, not over my own life, but over the life of a friend. Not in a way that she would even know that I was battling on her behalf, but simply to cry out to Him for her. I've known her for quite a while, and walked with her through some pretty harsh and difficult things. At the moment our relationship is quite distant - her doing, and God giving me permission to step into a more silent role than the bold truth speaker he asked me to be for quite a while. And it's funny, because I would have never expected in the middle of worship to be asked to pray for her. But I was, and I did, and I'm not sure what to make of it. I don't know that I'll ever know the results. And yet I prayed - I think that makes a difference...
Huh. Okay. Well, the decision doesn't need to be made for a while yet. So we're going to take the advice of another friend and keep speaking the idea out to God, to our friends and families, to our church community and to each other, believing that doors will close and the opportunity will die if it is not where God is leading us. It seems to be a surreal idea, but, at this point, albeit only a few days since the opportunity so surprisingly arose, doors seem to be opening, not closing.
And now, the other random thought that my title not so subtly alludes to!
In the middle of worship last night we were singing a song that cries out to God for freedom. And as we sang, God directed me to pray these words I was singing, not over my own life, but over the life of a friend. Not in a way that she would even know that I was battling on her behalf, but simply to cry out to Him for her. I've known her for quite a while, and walked with her through some pretty harsh and difficult things. At the moment our relationship is quite distant - her doing, and God giving me permission to step into a more silent role than the bold truth speaker he asked me to be for quite a while. And it's funny, because I would have never expected in the middle of worship to be asked to pray for her. But I was, and I did, and I'm not sure what to make of it. I don't know that I'll ever know the results. And yet I prayed - I think that makes a difference...
I Watched Someone Love Something...
I was thinking this morning again about the opening author's note in Donald Miller's Blue Like Jazz. It reads:
I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn't resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.
After that I liked jazz music.
Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.
I used to not like God because God didn't resolve. But that was before any of this happened.
I was thinking about this passage this morning, particularly that second last paragraph, about watching someone love something before you can love it yourself, and realized again the truth in that statement.
I spent almost two years watching people around me love God in a way that I'd never seen before, and then, suddenly, one night, sitting in a friend's car, and still watching him love God, and invite me to that too, I started to get it. All of the different friends in my life showed me the way.
And I was thinking about that this morning, because they're still doing it. They're still modeling for me what it means to experience God on a deeper and deeper level. I saw it last night at church, and sitting around a picnic table at Peter's Drive In last night, and standing in a parking lot as a witness of what God was doing as two friends prayed for another friend. Every time I see these people they teach me something new about God - they incite a desire for deeper and greater things.
I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn't resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.
After that I liked jazz music.
Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.
I used to not like God because God didn't resolve. But that was before any of this happened.
I was thinking about this passage this morning, particularly that second last paragraph, about watching someone love something before you can love it yourself, and realized again the truth in that statement.
I spent almost two years watching people around me love God in a way that I'd never seen before, and then, suddenly, one night, sitting in a friend's car, and still watching him love God, and invite me to that too, I started to get it. All of the different friends in my life showed me the way.
And I was thinking about that this morning, because they're still doing it. They're still modeling for me what it means to experience God on a deeper and deeper level. I saw it last night at church, and sitting around a picnic table at Peter's Drive In last night, and standing in a parking lot as a witness of what God was doing as two friends prayed for another friend. Every time I see these people they teach me something new about God - they incite a desire for deeper and greater things.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Unexpected Excitement and Joy
So my extraordinarily busy day had an interesting twist at it's ending. I picked my friend up from the airport, and as we grabbed dinner and caught up on the last week and a bit in each other's lives, we became amazed at a number of coinciding events that happened completely separately, over the last week and over the last several months, that we'd never shared with each other, and yet seemed to closely parallel each other's hearts.
Suffice it to say that over the next weeks and months we are going to be lifting a big decision before God both together and separately, seeking counsel from Godly people that we trust to speak wisdom and truth into our lives, and waiting for further direction from God. We have a potentially huge decision to make, and we're both filled with joy and excitement at the prospect, and at the way God seems to have been working to lead us to the point where we had the conversation that seems to indicate we need to pray and consider this opportunity.
I am being deliberately vague, as we as of yet have shared it only with each other, and it's not something we're ready to share with the whole world. We spent a chunk of time sitting in my car and praying over it together, inviting God to lead as we consider it further, and I've sent off the first of a couple emails to friends seeking counsel. As things become clearer, and possibilities take on firm shape, I'll share more, but in the meantime I'd like to ask you to pray with us over this next while as we're seeking God, and if God reveals anything to you as you pray, feel free to email me at the address in my profile, or leave a comment here on the blog.
Suffice it to say that over the next weeks and months we are going to be lifting a big decision before God both together and separately, seeking counsel from Godly people that we trust to speak wisdom and truth into our lives, and waiting for further direction from God. We have a potentially huge decision to make, and we're both filled with joy and excitement at the prospect, and at the way God seems to have been working to lead us to the point where we had the conversation that seems to indicate we need to pray and consider this opportunity.
I am being deliberately vague, as we as of yet have shared it only with each other, and it's not something we're ready to share with the whole world. We spent a chunk of time sitting in my car and praying over it together, inviting God to lead as we consider it further, and I've sent off the first of a couple emails to friends seeking counsel. As things become clearer, and possibilities take on firm shape, I'll share more, but in the meantime I'd like to ask you to pray with us over this next while as we're seeking God, and if God reveals anything to you as you pray, feel free to email me at the address in my profile, or leave a comment here on the blog.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Ezekiel and a busy day
I thought I'd better pop in here so you don't all dessert me for fairer pastures and more regular bloggers!
I have the busiest day I've had in a long time planned tomorrow. I have two job interviews scheduled - one at 8 and one at 10, then I work from 11-7, after which I'm headed to the airport to pick up a friend and probably spend a chunk of the evening with her, before delivering her to where she parked her car for the week she's been away.
I have to be honest - days with back to back scheduling like this stress me out a little. I don't do as well on days that don't give me enough down time and alone time - and there will only be alone time in my car between appointments - which would be great except that I don't particularly like driving, especially to new places. I mostly drive because it is far more convenient, less crowded and less full of slightly odd and smelly people than public transit. But, I'm looking forward to tomorrow evening and catching up with my friend again.
I've been reading the book of Ezekiel this week. I always feel slightly odd admitting that it is one of my favorite chunks of scripture. I fell in love with it for reasons I can't even name somewhere in 1998 or 1999, when I read through the entire Bible for the first time. I was mocked a couple of times for professing my love for Ezekiel, and I mostly didn't pay it any attention for the following several years, with the notable exception of the dry bones chapter which seems to figure rather prominently and come up regularly in the circles I've been hanging around in.
Anyway, for the last while I've had this inner thought (prompting?) that I should go back and read Ezekiel again. And, as I was struggling with a number of things this week, I felt like it would be a good place to start reading. I'm falling in love with it again - for reasons I still can't quite explain. I think I love how extreme it is. Ezekiel lays on his side for all those days, a human object lesson of Israel's sin, and when God wants Ezekiel to internalize his message, he literally feeds it to him. And then there's the fact that God never lets Ezekiel forget his humanity. He never has a chance to get a big head about the whole "prophet speaking for God" aspect of his life. Every time God addresses him, he is reminded of his humanity - "Son of Man." And yet, it's an interesting parallel that "Son of Man" is also the name by which Jesus was called and identified... mmm... loving this book!
And with that I'm off to read in bed for a little while, and hopefully turn my lights out a bit early tonight. I need to get up quite a bit earlier than normal to make it to the 8am interview, and I know that the day will be long and draining.
I have the busiest day I've had in a long time planned tomorrow. I have two job interviews scheduled - one at 8 and one at 10, then I work from 11-7, after which I'm headed to the airport to pick up a friend and probably spend a chunk of the evening with her, before delivering her to where she parked her car for the week she's been away.
I have to be honest - days with back to back scheduling like this stress me out a little. I don't do as well on days that don't give me enough down time and alone time - and there will only be alone time in my car between appointments - which would be great except that I don't particularly like driving, especially to new places. I mostly drive because it is far more convenient, less crowded and less full of slightly odd and smelly people than public transit. But, I'm looking forward to tomorrow evening and catching up with my friend again.
I've been reading the book of Ezekiel this week. I always feel slightly odd admitting that it is one of my favorite chunks of scripture. I fell in love with it for reasons I can't even name somewhere in 1998 or 1999, when I read through the entire Bible for the first time. I was mocked a couple of times for professing my love for Ezekiel, and I mostly didn't pay it any attention for the following several years, with the notable exception of the dry bones chapter which seems to figure rather prominently and come up regularly in the circles I've been hanging around in.
Anyway, for the last while I've had this inner thought (prompting?) that I should go back and read Ezekiel again. And, as I was struggling with a number of things this week, I felt like it would be a good place to start reading. I'm falling in love with it again - for reasons I still can't quite explain. I think I love how extreme it is. Ezekiel lays on his side for all those days, a human object lesson of Israel's sin, and when God wants Ezekiel to internalize his message, he literally feeds it to him. And then there's the fact that God never lets Ezekiel forget his humanity. He never has a chance to get a big head about the whole "prophet speaking for God" aspect of his life. Every time God addresses him, he is reminded of his humanity - "Son of Man." And yet, it's an interesting parallel that "Son of Man" is also the name by which Jesus was called and identified... mmm... loving this book!
And with that I'm off to read in bed for a little while, and hopefully turn my lights out a bit early tonight. I need to get up quite a bit earlier than normal to make it to the 8am interview, and I know that the day will be long and draining.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Nothing to Report
Well, a job offer that had seemed likely didn't arrive, and so I'm spending a chunk of my only day off this week searching the web for job listings in the fields I'm interested in, and emailing resumes to prospective employers. Not too exciting.
Our home is quiet right now. My brothers are at work, and my parents are away for a couple of weeks. It's surprising how slow life in our home becomes when my parents are gone. Because they both work out of our house, we have a fairly continual flow of people through our doors. It's a bit disconcerting how quiet and empty the house feels without the action.
Here's a couple of blog posts, on rather different topics that caught me today:
Renee
and
Brian
Two very different topics, but both posts grabbed me.
Our home is quiet right now. My brothers are at work, and my parents are away for a couple of weeks. It's surprising how slow life in our home becomes when my parents are gone. Because they both work out of our house, we have a fairly continual flow of people through our doors. It's a bit disconcerting how quiet and empty the house feels without the action.
Here's a couple of blog posts, on rather different topics that caught me today:
Renee
and
Brian
Two very different topics, but both posts grabbed me.
Monday, July 17, 2006
a wannabe intellectual?
I've been avoiding my computer screen, or at least this blogger create a new post screen all weekend. I've wandered around my house, trying desperately to convince myself of a number of things, and to avoid thinking about a number of other things. It's funny in that odd coincidence sort of way that I almost always discover things about myself when my parents leave town and my house is empty of most of the tension that exists over the course of a normal day or week.
This week I've found myself wondering if anything I write, anything I do, really matters? I mean, do you really care that I made chicken with pesto for dinner on Friday night, that I painted my toenails twice over the course of the weekend, that I watched a couple of movies, went to the Stampede to do rides with friends, and went to an awesome concert last night with my baby brother? (and just as an aside - it was a Christian concert, and my brother and I decided that Christians really don't "rock out" very well. The band did, and some of the crowd, but the band had to work pretty hard to get the crowd into it. Too bad, 'cause the concert really was amazing, well worth the price of the ticket!) If I was one of those people who smoothly managed to find a "spiritual" reason, or a tie-in to faith in everything, if I somehow made each episode of my life an object lesson, would that add significance where it feels as if there isn't any? Or is life really only about the mundane occurrences, with the occasional moment where faith and spirituality springs to prominence?
Don't get me wrong, life has actually been fairly good lately, with a few marked discouragements or challenges, but I feel odd to even mention or complain about those, because they're insignificant in comparison to the things I faced over the course of five years of depression.
And I discovered something about myself over the course of the weekend. I hide, even in writing where I tend to be most honest, bits and pieces of myself. I have a burning desire to be accepted as an intellectual - as a bright, intelligent person with something of substance to contribute to the world. And yet, most days I feel inadequate. I hide the parts of myself that I have associated with a lack of substance. For instance, I love to read fiction - not weighty, intellectual classics, but historical fiction, romantic stories, anything light and fluffy. I read probably 4 or 5 novels of this sort a week on average. I bought the latest issue of Oprah's magazine last week. (Now you need to understand that I realize that most of the world thinks of Oprah as a woman of substance, but I grew up in a home where my dad poo-pooed anything in the talk show or reality television format, and so I am predisposed to be embarrassed at purchasing something like a magazine with her name on the cover.) I bought the magazine because it had an article written by one of my favorite non-fiction writers (Anne Lamott) - plus, it was the summer reading issue and I thought I might pick up a few recommendations on some good novels to read. Lamott's article was great - what I hesitate to admit because I fear it will taint the perception of myself as intelligent is that I just as eagerly read the article on "How men really feel about breast implants," the article that tells you how to best deal with curly hair in the midst of summer's heat and humidity, the article on how a variety of writers display their libraries, and the article with pictures of the best outfits for under $300.
I recently picked up my diploma from the university, and, in a moment of pride as I came home, showed it to my dad. He studied it for a moment, and said, in a tone that I'm sure was attended to be joking, but was instead cutting and hurtful, "where's the magna cum laude or suma cum laude?" So much for enjoying my moment of accomplishment. Maybe it isn't the rest of the world that I want to recognize my intelligence - maybe it's just my dad.
This week I've found myself wondering if anything I write, anything I do, really matters? I mean, do you really care that I made chicken with pesto for dinner on Friday night, that I painted my toenails twice over the course of the weekend, that I watched a couple of movies, went to the Stampede to do rides with friends, and went to an awesome concert last night with my baby brother? (and just as an aside - it was a Christian concert, and my brother and I decided that Christians really don't "rock out" very well. The band did, and some of the crowd, but the band had to work pretty hard to get the crowd into it. Too bad, 'cause the concert really was amazing, well worth the price of the ticket!) If I was one of those people who smoothly managed to find a "spiritual" reason, or a tie-in to faith in everything, if I somehow made each episode of my life an object lesson, would that add significance where it feels as if there isn't any? Or is life really only about the mundane occurrences, with the occasional moment where faith and spirituality springs to prominence?
Don't get me wrong, life has actually been fairly good lately, with a few marked discouragements or challenges, but I feel odd to even mention or complain about those, because they're insignificant in comparison to the things I faced over the course of five years of depression.
And I discovered something about myself over the course of the weekend. I hide, even in writing where I tend to be most honest, bits and pieces of myself. I have a burning desire to be accepted as an intellectual - as a bright, intelligent person with something of substance to contribute to the world. And yet, most days I feel inadequate. I hide the parts of myself that I have associated with a lack of substance. For instance, I love to read fiction - not weighty, intellectual classics, but historical fiction, romantic stories, anything light and fluffy. I read probably 4 or 5 novels of this sort a week on average. I bought the latest issue of Oprah's magazine last week. (Now you need to understand that I realize that most of the world thinks of Oprah as a woman of substance, but I grew up in a home where my dad poo-pooed anything in the talk show or reality television format, and so I am predisposed to be embarrassed at purchasing something like a magazine with her name on the cover.) I bought the magazine because it had an article written by one of my favorite non-fiction writers (Anne Lamott) - plus, it was the summer reading issue and I thought I might pick up a few recommendations on some good novels to read. Lamott's article was great - what I hesitate to admit because I fear it will taint the perception of myself as intelligent is that I just as eagerly read the article on "How men really feel about breast implants," the article that tells you how to best deal with curly hair in the midst of summer's heat and humidity, the article on how a variety of writers display their libraries, and the article with pictures of the best outfits for under $300.
I recently picked up my diploma from the university, and, in a moment of pride as I came home, showed it to my dad. He studied it for a moment, and said, in a tone that I'm sure was attended to be joking, but was instead cutting and hurtful, "where's the magna cum laude or suma cum laude?" So much for enjoying my moment of accomplishment. Maybe it isn't the rest of the world that I want to recognize my intelligence - maybe it's just my dad.
Friday, July 14, 2006
Cooking Dinner and Girly Evening Plans
So I'm getting ready to make dinner. Have I mentioned that I actually really like to cook if it can be something creative and I can try new things? Or if I can make something that will present nicely. I'm making vegetable pasta, served with chicken, in a sundried tomato pesto tonight. Should nicely satisfy my chicken craving, and can be cooked without turning on the oven, which, in this heat is a major plus!
Then, I'm going to spend the evening watching movies and pampering myself. I bought new nail polish. I think I'll do my toes, and maybe my fingers too. I may do some scrapbooking while I watch the movies, but we'll see how lazy I'm feeling, or how motivated to do anything. I'll probably round the evening out with chocolate of some sort, and reading a favorite novel.
Does any of this sound appealing? Give me a call and come on over! My plans are not set in stone, and can easily include one or many others!
Then, I'm going to spend the evening watching movies and pampering myself. I bought new nail polish. I think I'll do my toes, and maybe my fingers too. I may do some scrapbooking while I watch the movies, but we'll see how lazy I'm feeling, or how motivated to do anything. I'll probably round the evening out with chocolate of some sort, and reading a favorite novel.
Does any of this sound appealing? Give me a call and come on over! My plans are not set in stone, and can easily include one or many others!
Coming soon.
I need to take the time to sit down and write an entire post. This has been an interesting week, filled with some realizations that are not necessarily easy, but will hopefully have positive results. I don't have time to write it now, though, because I'm off to work my last shift for the week. (I may also have a new job by the end of today...)
In the meantime, if you want some fun reading, read Marty's update on their trip to Russia. Made me smile this morning, and reminded me again to keep praying for her as God asked me months ago to commit to pray regularly for Kari (married to Marty) - the things that are on her heart, the people and causes she loves on are huge, and I love that I get to lift her in prayer as she does it.
Back tonight or tomorrow. An entire Saturday off (and most of Sunday too - just a concert to attend Sunday night) - anybody want to hang out?
In the meantime, if you want some fun reading, read Marty's update on their trip to Russia. Made me smile this morning, and reminded me again to keep praying for her as God asked me months ago to commit to pray regularly for Kari (married to Marty) - the things that are on her heart, the people and causes she loves on are huge, and I love that I get to lift her in prayer as she does it.
Back tonight or tomorrow. An entire Saturday off (and most of Sunday too - just a concert to attend Sunday night) - anybody want to hang out?
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
huh
Went to the Stampede last night to hang out with some friends who I won't see again for quite a long time. They leave today for China, and some of them, particularly the one I'm closest too won't be coming back through Calgary before returning to their home towns or countries. So we hung out at the Stampede, watched the Grandstand Show (which was actually quite enjoyable this year - worth the price of rush admission just for the bagpipe playing comedian, and the good view of the fireworks.), and ate junk food. (Ah, mini donuts and corn dogs!)
Another friend and her husband leave today for Russia as well. I guess I'll be spending a lot of time over the next few weeks praying for friends overseas! Cool!
Trying to decide if I'm going to hang out with our house church tonight. There are two options for things people are doing, and neither one is particularly appealing to me. So, I'm debating taking myself to a movie - anyone want to see either "The Devil Wears Prada" or the new "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie with me tonight?
And with that I'm off to do some reading and writing and cleaning. Ah, the joys of a day off!
Another friend and her husband leave today for Russia as well. I guess I'll be spending a lot of time over the next few weeks praying for friends overseas! Cool!
Trying to decide if I'm going to hang out with our house church tonight. There are two options for things people are doing, and neither one is particularly appealing to me. So, I'm debating taking myself to a movie - anyone want to see either "The Devil Wears Prada" or the new "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie with me tonight?
And with that I'm off to do some reading and writing and cleaning. Ah, the joys of a day off!
Monday, July 10, 2006
Dreaming...
I was talking with Nolan last night, and mentioned that I have got to be the only person in our group of friends, people actively seeking God's voice, who gets annoyed at Him when He actually does speak by giving me dreams. We laughed about it, because it really is kind of ironicly funny, and then Nolan told me about someone else we both know who actually asked God to stop sending dreams. That made me feel better!
I'm at the point where at certain points and times, as much as I prefer to just sleep, I will actually say to God, you can speak to me in my dreams about this situation, or that person or whatever. For example, I've committed to praying regularly for a good friend, but especially over the next week or two as she and her husband travel to Russia with a team of people to pray and intercede over the G8 summit happening in St. Petersburg. I asked God last night to speak clearly, to bring her to mind at the times she most needed covering in prayer, and even to send dreams with her in them if necessary as a reminder to prayer. I don't regularly ask God for dreams, but He's spoken to me about this friend in my dreams before, and I really feel that He called me a couple of months ago to be regularly upholding this friend in prayer, so I want to be aware of when those prayer needs are most pressing.
All that said, I had a dream this morning that was definitely not spiritual, but was kind of funny, so I thought I'd throw it up on the blog.
I was at home, with my two brothers. The only problem was that our house (which I never left in the dream) was now in Hong Kong! And then, I'm standing at the kitchen window, looking out over our backyard and alley, and at the back gate there's a monkey (orangutan or gorilla) wearing a bright pink shirt and a floppy hat, and trying to get into our yard. So I call my brothers to come see, and oddly enough, my youngest brother is also a gorilla, also wearing clothes. The monkey from the gate comes into our yard, and my brother roars at it, and it goes running to the other side of the city. Then it comes back, and is in our house, and running up and down the stairs to our basement, and rolling around and playing on the bottom landing.
And then I woke up!
See, this one is pretty obviously not spiritual - it's actually kind of funny and quite honestly bizarre - but most of my dreams are such a hodgepodge of weird settings and intense emotions that I'm not always sure which ones are the result of an overactive imagination, and which are God things!
I'm at the point where at certain points and times, as much as I prefer to just sleep, I will actually say to God, you can speak to me in my dreams about this situation, or that person or whatever. For example, I've committed to praying regularly for a good friend, but especially over the next week or two as she and her husband travel to Russia with a team of people to pray and intercede over the G8 summit happening in St. Petersburg. I asked God last night to speak clearly, to bring her to mind at the times she most needed covering in prayer, and even to send dreams with her in them if necessary as a reminder to prayer. I don't regularly ask God for dreams, but He's spoken to me about this friend in my dreams before, and I really feel that He called me a couple of months ago to be regularly upholding this friend in prayer, so I want to be aware of when those prayer needs are most pressing.
All that said, I had a dream this morning that was definitely not spiritual, but was kind of funny, so I thought I'd throw it up on the blog.
I was at home, with my two brothers. The only problem was that our house (which I never left in the dream) was now in Hong Kong! And then, I'm standing at the kitchen window, looking out over our backyard and alley, and at the back gate there's a monkey (orangutan or gorilla) wearing a bright pink shirt and a floppy hat, and trying to get into our yard. So I call my brothers to come see, and oddly enough, my youngest brother is also a gorilla, also wearing clothes. The monkey from the gate comes into our yard, and my brother roars at it, and it goes running to the other side of the city. Then it comes back, and is in our house, and running up and down the stairs to our basement, and rolling around and playing on the bottom landing.
And then I woke up!
See, this one is pretty obviously not spiritual - it's actually kind of funny and quite honestly bizarre - but most of my dreams are such a hodgepodge of weird settings and intense emotions that I'm not always sure which ones are the result of an overactive imagination, and which are God things!
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Thinking about boys
Boys seem to be the topic of the week in conversations with friends. Particularly what I'm thinking in the whole area of dating/desiring to be dating/who I'd possibly like to be dating.
The truth is, I don't actually think about it all that often. I was asking myself tonight if that makes me kind of weird - an abnormal young adult. I was with a friend who spends a lot of time thinking about marriage and babies, and really wishing for that to happen in her life, and I couldn't be more opposite.
Does that make me a bizarre 22 (almost 23) year old woman? I mean, I'm pretty sure I want to get married someday -there's something amazing, I think, in sharing life that intimately with another human being, something deeply spiritual and special and blessed by God in marriage. But I'm really not in a hurry. If it happens sometime soon, that's fantastic, and if it doesn't happen soon, that's okay too.
I think I'm definitely weird. I find it bizarre that I have this peace about that whole area of my life, and yet I spend my whole working day surrounded by people in the midst of planning their weddings and lives together. I'm bombarded with it, and yet I don't particularly have an unsettled longing of the heart for it. I think, though, that I'm glad that I'm content as a single person. It seems, from watching my friend, that it would be a huge emotional drain to devote time and energy to worrying about meeting a guy, and is he the one, and what should the timing be like, and all those million other questions that girls seem to love to obsess about.
Okay. I'm going to bed now. I've had my say for the night, and gotten it off my chest that I'm a little weird. (It's like I keep saying - I'm suited for the life of a middle aged academic, not the emotional throes of young adulthood!) I'm sure the boy will come at the moment I least expect it, and in the timing that I also least expect.
The truth is, I don't actually think about it all that often. I was asking myself tonight if that makes me kind of weird - an abnormal young adult. I was with a friend who spends a lot of time thinking about marriage and babies, and really wishing for that to happen in her life, and I couldn't be more opposite.
Does that make me a bizarre 22 (almost 23) year old woman? I mean, I'm pretty sure I want to get married someday -there's something amazing, I think, in sharing life that intimately with another human being, something deeply spiritual and special and blessed by God in marriage. But I'm really not in a hurry. If it happens sometime soon, that's fantastic, and if it doesn't happen soon, that's okay too.
I think I'm definitely weird. I find it bizarre that I have this peace about that whole area of my life, and yet I spend my whole working day surrounded by people in the midst of planning their weddings and lives together. I'm bombarded with it, and yet I don't particularly have an unsettled longing of the heart for it. I think, though, that I'm glad that I'm content as a single person. It seems, from watching my friend, that it would be a huge emotional drain to devote time and energy to worrying about meeting a guy, and is he the one, and what should the timing be like, and all those million other questions that girls seem to love to obsess about.
Okay. I'm going to bed now. I've had my say for the night, and gotten it off my chest that I'm a little weird. (It's like I keep saying - I'm suited for the life of a middle aged academic, not the emotional throes of young adulthood!) I'm sure the boy will come at the moment I least expect it, and in the timing that I also least expect.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Smiling
Nolan left a comment a couple days ago on one of my posts that talked about the fact that it was good to see me enjoying life lately. It made me smile, because I'm still surprised every morning when I wake up not depressed. Five years of depression and it's only been eight months without.
It stuns me every time I'm walking to the train, or getting dressed for the day, or sitting at my computer, or reading a novel, or just basically engaging in the mundane stuff of day to day living and I realize that God has healed me, that He continues to do crazy things in my life.
Today was another quirky day. I didn't get a call with a job offer, but I've definitely decided to decline the offer if it comes. I've scheduled a couple of interviews for Monday, and we'll go from there. I worked a short shift (4 hours) this morning, and my boss called me in to talk to her for a few minutes. My heart still races every time this happens and I flash back to the day I was basically fired from a job because of my depression. But this was a happy thing. We talked about the fact that I'm still looking for work, and she told me that they're giving me a raise, effective at the beginning of the current pay period of almost two dollars an hour. God is so funny - I'll be making at the bay what I would have been making at the job that I haven't felt the peace to accept, and have decided to turn down. And one of the interviews on Monday is a second interview, so that's really promising.
I've been caught lately by the "Lord's Prayer". In high school I learned it in Spanish. These days I can only remember the first two or three lines in Spanish, but they flow beautifully, and I often find myself praying them as I walk to the train - inviting God's kingdom to come in flowing words of the Spanish language. I've been caught, too, by Eugene Peterson's translation of the prayer in "The Message." Interestingly, again the only lines I've managed to memorize and retain are the first several. I never seem to get much past acknowleging God as my Father, acknowledging His glory, and inviting His kingdom to come - in either Spanish or English!
Peterson translates the lines that have so caught me like this:
Our Father in heaven,
Reveal who you are.
Set the world right;
Do what's best -
as above, so below.
I love that - "As above, so below" - such a neat picture of what we're asking for - the intimate presence and action of God to overwhelm and mark our daily existence, but also something so much larger and all consuming - world consuming.
And the God as Father thing that has always been so hard for me? These days I find myself praying an awful lot to "Papa God." I don't know where I picked up that phrase, but it has for me an intimacy, meaning and understanding, without the negative connotations that terms like "Father," "Daddy" and so on so often have attached to them.
I'm smiling. Because God is faithful. Because He has a sense of humor. Because there is a peace and joy in my heart that is still so overwhelmingly new. Because there are new and deeper things coming. Because God is drawing me ever closer to His heart, and sending me friends to journey with.
Amen, Papa, God.
Reveal who you are.
Set things right. As above, so below.
It stuns me every time I'm walking to the train, or getting dressed for the day, or sitting at my computer, or reading a novel, or just basically engaging in the mundane stuff of day to day living and I realize that God has healed me, that He continues to do crazy things in my life.
Today was another quirky day. I didn't get a call with a job offer, but I've definitely decided to decline the offer if it comes. I've scheduled a couple of interviews for Monday, and we'll go from there. I worked a short shift (4 hours) this morning, and my boss called me in to talk to her for a few minutes. My heart still races every time this happens and I flash back to the day I was basically fired from a job because of my depression. But this was a happy thing. We talked about the fact that I'm still looking for work, and she told me that they're giving me a raise, effective at the beginning of the current pay period of almost two dollars an hour. God is so funny - I'll be making at the bay what I would have been making at the job that I haven't felt the peace to accept, and have decided to turn down. And one of the interviews on Monday is a second interview, so that's really promising.
I've been caught lately by the "Lord's Prayer". In high school I learned it in Spanish. These days I can only remember the first two or three lines in Spanish, but they flow beautifully, and I often find myself praying them as I walk to the train - inviting God's kingdom to come in flowing words of the Spanish language. I've been caught, too, by Eugene Peterson's translation of the prayer in "The Message." Interestingly, again the only lines I've managed to memorize and retain are the first several. I never seem to get much past acknowleging God as my Father, acknowledging His glory, and inviting His kingdom to come - in either Spanish or English!
Peterson translates the lines that have so caught me like this:
Our Father in heaven,
Reveal who you are.
Set the world right;
Do what's best -
as above, so below.
I love that - "As above, so below" - such a neat picture of what we're asking for - the intimate presence and action of God to overwhelm and mark our daily existence, but also something so much larger and all consuming - world consuming.
And the God as Father thing that has always been so hard for me? These days I find myself praying an awful lot to "Papa God." I don't know where I picked up that phrase, but it has for me an intimacy, meaning and understanding, without the negative connotations that terms like "Father," "Daddy" and so on so often have attached to them.
I'm smiling. Because God is faithful. Because He has a sense of humor. Because there is a peace and joy in my heart that is still so overwhelmingly new. Because there are new and deeper things coming. Because God is drawing me ever closer to His heart, and sending me friends to journey with.
Amen, Papa, God.
Reveal who you are.
Set things right. As above, so below.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
A Good Day
Funny how some days turn out to be beautiful when you're least expecting it.
I'm sitting here, having just finished consuming a beautifully ripe and juicy mango, and listening to the sounds floating through my window of the fireworks being shot off in the distance for the opening night of the Stampede. Every night for the next ten days at this time I'll hear the sound of fireworks.
Work was actually really good today. Very laid back which is unusual given the coworker I was with this evening. I worked for a good chunk of the evening with a bridal couple and his parents to help them select their dinnerware, flatware and stemware. Usually it is not a good thing when a couple shows up with parents in tow - tends to make for a stressed couple and a frustrated set of parents as their tastes and opinions clash. But they were very pleasant, honestly enjoyed each other's company, and made some fantastic selections. And I had a great time showing them all the different options, giving them information about the product, and ultimately helping them create a table setting that will look fantastic and that they were very happy with.
Before work this morning I had brunch with a friend. Over good food we shared life, learned new things about each other, caught up on the last month, and learned what's coming up for each other in the next months. Such a valuable thing to have friends with whom you can share on a deep level of understanding.
I think that if they offer me the job tomorrow morning I'm going to turn it down. I really want a job that will allow more interaction with clients and the public than this one - that's why I'd be a great receptionist! I also think that I can get the same sort of benefits that they're offering, while still making the extra dollar an hour somewhere else. I'll also be in contact with another company in the morning. They called me yesterday for a second interview, and I think I'd enjoy working with them. I tried to reach the lady today to schedule the interview, but she was out of the office for the day, so I'll try her again before I head to work in the morning, and hopefully I can schedule something for tomorrow afternoon or Monday morning.
And with that, I'm off to draft a cover letter for yet another position I'm thinking of applying for, and then to do some reading for a little while. Thanks to everyone who left comments letting me know you're still out there. It always encourages me to know my words aren't simply floating off into nothingness. It was fun to come home from work tonight and check my email and find all of your comments. Hooray for friends!
I'm sitting here, having just finished consuming a beautifully ripe and juicy mango, and listening to the sounds floating through my window of the fireworks being shot off in the distance for the opening night of the Stampede. Every night for the next ten days at this time I'll hear the sound of fireworks.
Work was actually really good today. Very laid back which is unusual given the coworker I was with this evening. I worked for a good chunk of the evening with a bridal couple and his parents to help them select their dinnerware, flatware and stemware. Usually it is not a good thing when a couple shows up with parents in tow - tends to make for a stressed couple and a frustrated set of parents as their tastes and opinions clash. But they were very pleasant, honestly enjoyed each other's company, and made some fantastic selections. And I had a great time showing them all the different options, giving them information about the product, and ultimately helping them create a table setting that will look fantastic and that they were very happy with.
Before work this morning I had brunch with a friend. Over good food we shared life, learned new things about each other, caught up on the last month, and learned what's coming up for each other in the next months. Such a valuable thing to have friends with whom you can share on a deep level of understanding.
I think that if they offer me the job tomorrow morning I'm going to turn it down. I really want a job that will allow more interaction with clients and the public than this one - that's why I'd be a great receptionist! I also think that I can get the same sort of benefits that they're offering, while still making the extra dollar an hour somewhere else. I'll also be in contact with another company in the morning. They called me yesterday for a second interview, and I think I'd enjoy working with them. I tried to reach the lady today to schedule the interview, but she was out of the office for the day, so I'll try her again before I head to work in the morning, and hopefully I can schedule something for tomorrow afternoon or Monday morning.
And with that, I'm off to draft a cover letter for yet another position I'm thinking of applying for, and then to do some reading for a little while. Thanks to everyone who left comments letting me know you're still out there. It always encourages me to know my words aren't simply floating off into nothingness. It was fun to come home from work tonight and check my email and find all of your comments. Hooray for friends!
A Good Day
Funny how some days turn out to be beautiful when you're least expecting it.
I'm sitting here, having just finished consuming a beautifully ripe and juicy mango, and listening to the sounds floating through my window of the fireworks being shot off in the distance for the opening night of the Stampede. Every night for the next ten days at this time I'll hear the sound of fireworks.
Work was actually really good today. Very laid back which is unusual given the coworker I was with this evening. I worked for a good chunk of the evening with a bridal couple and his parents to help them select their dinnerware, flatware and stemware. Usually it is not a good thing when a couple shows up with parents in tow - tends to make for a stressed couple and a frustrated set of parents as their tastes and opinions clash. But they were very pleasant, honestly enjoyed each other's company, and made some fantastic selections. And I had a great time showing them all the different options, giving them information about the product, and ultimately helping them create a table setting that will look fantastic and that they were very happy with.
Before work this morning I had brunch with a friend. Over good food we shared life, learned new things about each other, caught up on the last month, and learned what's coming up for each other in the next months. Such a valuable thing to have friends with whom you can share on a deep level of understanding.
I think that if they offer me the job tomorrow morning I'm going to turn it down. I really want a job that will allow more interaction with clients and the public than this one - that's why I'd be a great receptionist! I also think that I can get the same sort of benefits that they're offering, while still making the extra dollar an hour somewhere else. I'll also be in contact with another company in the morning. They called me yesterday for a second interview, and I think I'd enjoy working with them. I tried to reach the lady today to schedule the interview, but she was out of the office for the day, so I'll try her again before I head to work in the morning, and hopefully I can schedule something for tomorrow afternoon or Monday morning.
And with that, I'm off to draft a cover letter for yet another position I'm thinking of applying for, and then to do some reading for a little while. Thanks to everyone who left comments letting me know you're still out there. It always encourages me to know my words aren't simply floating off into nothingness. It was fun to come home from work tonight and check my email and find all of your comments. Hooray for friends!
I'm sitting here, having just finished consuming a beautifully ripe and juicy mango, and listening to the sounds floating through my window of the fireworks being shot off in the distance for the opening night of the Stampede. Every night for the next ten days at this time I'll hear the sound of fireworks.
Work was actually really good today. Very laid back which is unusual given the coworker I was with this evening. I worked for a good chunk of the evening with a bridal couple and his parents to help them select their dinnerware, flatware and stemware. Usually it is not a good thing when a couple shows up with parents in tow - tends to make for a stressed couple and a frustrated set of parents as their tastes and opinions clash. But they were very pleasant, honestly enjoyed each other's company, and made some fantastic selections. And I had a great time showing them all the different options, giving them information about the product, and ultimately helping them create a table setting that will look fantastic and that they were very happy with.
Before work this morning I had brunch with a friend. Over good food we shared life, learned new things about each other, caught up on the last month, and learned what's coming up for each other in the next months. Such a valuable thing to have friends with whom you can share on a deep level of understanding.
I think that if they offer me the job tomorrow morning I'm going to turn it down. I really want a job that will allow more interaction with clients and the public than this one - that's why I'd be a great receptionist! I also think that I can get the same sort of benefits that they're offering, while still making the extra dollar an hour somewhere else. I'll also be in contact with another company in the morning. They called me yesterday for a second interview, and I think I'd enjoy working with them. I tried to reach the lady today to schedule the interview, but she was out of the office for the day, so I'll try her again before I head to work in the morning, and hopefully I can schedule something for tomorrow afternoon or Monday morning.
And with that, I'm off to draft a cover letter for yet another position I'm thinking of applying for, and then to do some reading for a little while. Thanks to everyone who left comments letting me know you're still out there. It always encourages me to know my words aren't simply floating off into nothingness. It was fun to come home from work tonight and check my email and find all of your comments. Hooray for friends!
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
How do I make this decision?
It looks like I'm going to be offered a job on Friday morning. The woman told me she would have hired me today, except that I need to make more than what her initial offer is, and she needs to do some checking on the finances and interview a couple more people before she makes a decision.
The trouble is this - it would not be an office job. It would have somewhat limited people interaction, but it would be something I would be skilled at doing, and could possibly enjoy doing for a while. I would get to work with hundreds of books, sorting and so on, on a daily basis. It would also pay a dollar an hour less than what I've been using as my minimum hourly wage in the job search. That's approximately $2000 less/year. After three months I'd have some pretty good benefits as well.
I don't know how to make the decision... It's not perfect, but nothing is, and nothing is seeming to pan out at the moment. I really do need to find a job soon, but I don't want to just jump at the first one that's offered to me... How do you know if God is providing something or not? How does it become clear when He is leading? And how do you decide if you can live on a certain wage when you are guesstimating what expenses like rent, car insurance, gas, utilities and so on will be?
The trouble is this - it would not be an office job. It would have somewhat limited people interaction, but it would be something I would be skilled at doing, and could possibly enjoy doing for a while. I would get to work with hundreds of books, sorting and so on, on a daily basis. It would also pay a dollar an hour less than what I've been using as my minimum hourly wage in the job search. That's approximately $2000 less/year. After three months I'd have some pretty good benefits as well.
I don't know how to make the decision... It's not perfect, but nothing is, and nothing is seeming to pan out at the moment. I really do need to find a job soon, but I don't want to just jump at the first one that's offered to me... How do you know if God is providing something or not? How does it become clear when He is leading? And how do you decide if you can live on a certain wage when you are guesstimating what expenses like rent, car insurance, gas, utilities and so on will be?
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Early Ending to an Evening...
So I just got home from driving a friend home from my place. She decided to check out house church with me for the first time tonight, since I was hosting it, leading the discussion, and it wasn't as far north as it normally is. Which would have been great, except that she was the only person who showed up! So we caught up on each other's lives, watched part of a movie, and I drove her home, because her health is fragile and doesn't permit late nights.
So much for the discussion topic I'd prepared to lead us into sharing and praying. Oh well, maybe next time? Maybe I'll write up the topic and stick it up here for discussion sometime this week...
As to the week, the rest of it looks like it will be quite busy. I'm working the next several days in a row. I'm also meeting a friend on Thursday morning to catch up on each other's lives, and I have a job interview tomorrow morning. To be honest, I don't think I'm interested in the job because it doesn't pay enough, but the work sounds okay, so I thought I'd at least meet with the lady and try to get a bit better feel for the job. And I guess I'll use Friday afternoon to send out more resumes...
I had my first "driving standard" lesson yesterday. Megs is teaching me so I can drive at least part of the way on the road trip we're taking at the end of September. We spent the evening together, at a friend's birthday, and then having coffee, talking, and driving. We ended the evening by praying together. We've decided we need to do that consistently. We're always up to date on each other's lives, and we pray for each other individually, but have decided to make a habit of praying together, because we care deeply for each other as friends, and because we both want to develop a greater comfort level in praying aloud.
Also, I picked up my parchment from the university today. I now officially have it in formal writing that I am the proud owner of a bachelor of arts in history. Whoo hoo!
I think those are the major things. I had some pretty weird dreams again on the weekend. So many of my dreams are so vivid and real. I have trouble distinguishing which ones are the spiritual ones that I need to pay close attention to, and which ones are simply the result of an overactive brain.
The heat's been getting to me - hard to sleep when you're melting in your bed. And I've missed our community... church was cancelled Sunday because of the long weekend, and then no one showed up tonight. I know that my spirituality has little to do with the events of a week, but I miss the chance to gather, to catch up on each other's lives, to worship and pray together when things are cancelled. So with that, I'm off to maybe do some paper journalling, and to do some reading... Drop me an email or leave me a comment updating me on all of your lives... Haven't heard from or seen some of you in quite a while...
So much for the discussion topic I'd prepared to lead us into sharing and praying. Oh well, maybe next time? Maybe I'll write up the topic and stick it up here for discussion sometime this week...
As to the week, the rest of it looks like it will be quite busy. I'm working the next several days in a row. I'm also meeting a friend on Thursday morning to catch up on each other's lives, and I have a job interview tomorrow morning. To be honest, I don't think I'm interested in the job because it doesn't pay enough, but the work sounds okay, so I thought I'd at least meet with the lady and try to get a bit better feel for the job. And I guess I'll use Friday afternoon to send out more resumes...
I had my first "driving standard" lesson yesterday. Megs is teaching me so I can drive at least part of the way on the road trip we're taking at the end of September. We spent the evening together, at a friend's birthday, and then having coffee, talking, and driving. We ended the evening by praying together. We've decided we need to do that consistently. We're always up to date on each other's lives, and we pray for each other individually, but have decided to make a habit of praying together, because we care deeply for each other as friends, and because we both want to develop a greater comfort level in praying aloud.
Also, I picked up my parchment from the university today. I now officially have it in formal writing that I am the proud owner of a bachelor of arts in history. Whoo hoo!
I think those are the major things. I had some pretty weird dreams again on the weekend. So many of my dreams are so vivid and real. I have trouble distinguishing which ones are the spiritual ones that I need to pay close attention to, and which ones are simply the result of an overactive brain.
The heat's been getting to me - hard to sleep when you're melting in your bed. And I've missed our community... church was cancelled Sunday because of the long weekend, and then no one showed up tonight. I know that my spirituality has little to do with the events of a week, but I miss the chance to gather, to catch up on each other's lives, to worship and pray together when things are cancelled. So with that, I'm off to maybe do some paper journalling, and to do some reading... Drop me an email or leave me a comment updating me on all of your lives... Haven't heard from or seen some of you in quite a while...
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Today
To be honest, today was a really good day in a lot of ways. It was long, but filled with people and things that I love.
I attended my dad's church this morning. That's always a little hard, because it's weird to not really be a visitor, but not really belong either. But, I really enjoyed the service today. There was a great worship time, and I enjoyed my dad's sermon on the character of Caleb. I think I'll go back and read a bit about him in the next few days (Caleb that is, not my dad!)
After church I joined my parents and a couple from their church for lunch at the local farmer's market. The guy has been a sort of mentor figure in my life for a long time, and I got the chance to talk with him a bit about some stuff that's come up in my life recently, and about some situations at church that I'm involved in and frustrated by. I love spending time with this couple and their five year old son - he's such a cutie, so smart and funny for a little kid.
After lunch, I fell asleep in an armchair in our living room, watching the classic version of the movie "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" on CBC. I love those old musicals made for families, and I hadn't seen this one since I was a child. I regret falling asleep a bit, and missing the movie, but it was such a relaxing way to spend the afternoon.
Had Vietnamese take out for dinner in a park along the Elbow River with Megs, and then we came home and watched a movie until she had to head to work for her night shift a few minutes ago. We semi-cemented some plans for the future. It's looking like we might move in together sometime in February. So, as soon as I get a job, I'll start saving for a car, and hopefully by February, when Megs returns from Pakistan, I'll have a vehicle and be ready to move in with her. We're also planning a trip to BC together at the end of September - she has a family wedding to attend, and I've been hoping to spend some time with a couple of friends who are living in the Vancouver area.
God, give me peace. Thank you for the people and things you've laid on my heart over this weekend. Continue to reveal your heart to me over the course of this week. I long for deeper relationship with you. I'm in love with you. Guide in the situations of tension I find myself involved with at the moment. Present your clear hand and steps, and make my path known to me. Thank for the blessing of a day spent with family and friends, and the promise of the same tomorrow. Abba, I belong to you. I'm yours. Wherever and whatever you want. I'm there.
I attended my dad's church this morning. That's always a little hard, because it's weird to not really be a visitor, but not really belong either. But, I really enjoyed the service today. There was a great worship time, and I enjoyed my dad's sermon on the character of Caleb. I think I'll go back and read a bit about him in the next few days (Caleb that is, not my dad!)
After church I joined my parents and a couple from their church for lunch at the local farmer's market. The guy has been a sort of mentor figure in my life for a long time, and I got the chance to talk with him a bit about some stuff that's come up in my life recently, and about some situations at church that I'm involved in and frustrated by. I love spending time with this couple and their five year old son - he's such a cutie, so smart and funny for a little kid.
After lunch, I fell asleep in an armchair in our living room, watching the classic version of the movie "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" on CBC. I love those old musicals made for families, and I hadn't seen this one since I was a child. I regret falling asleep a bit, and missing the movie, but it was such a relaxing way to spend the afternoon.
Had Vietnamese take out for dinner in a park along the Elbow River with Megs, and then we came home and watched a movie until she had to head to work for her night shift a few minutes ago. We semi-cemented some plans for the future. It's looking like we might move in together sometime in February. So, as soon as I get a job, I'll start saving for a car, and hopefully by February, when Megs returns from Pakistan, I'll have a vehicle and be ready to move in with her. We're also planning a trip to BC together at the end of September - she has a family wedding to attend, and I've been hoping to spend some time with a couple of friends who are living in the Vancouver area.
God, give me peace. Thank you for the people and things you've laid on my heart over this weekend. Continue to reveal your heart to me over the course of this week. I long for deeper relationship with you. I'm in love with you. Guide in the situations of tension I find myself involved with at the moment. Present your clear hand and steps, and make my path known to me. Thank for the blessing of a day spent with family and friends, and the promise of the same tomorrow. Abba, I belong to you. I'm yours. Wherever and whatever you want. I'm there.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Thoughts from Ignatius
I'll probably write a longer post sometime today or tomorrow, as lots of things are floating around my mind again this morning. But, in the meantime, I got this quote in an email this morning, and it challenged me, so I thought I'd pass it along...
It is not that I want merely to be called a Christian, but actually to be one. Yes, if I prove to be one, then I can have the name.—Ignatius of Antioch (35-120)
It is not that I want merely to be called a Christian, but actually to be one. Yes, if I prove to be one, then I can have the name.—Ignatius of Antioch (35-120)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
