More from Henri Nouwen

In my last post, I included a meditation by Henri Nouwen that was emailed to me. Since then, I've received two more emails by Nouwen, both also covering the topic of writing, and I wanted to share them here as well.

The first one was titled, "Writing, Opening a Deep Well"
Nouwen writes, "Writing is not just jotting down ideas. Often we say: "I don't know what to write. I have no thoughts worth writing down." But much good writing emerges from the process of writing itself. As we simply sit down in front of a sheet of paper and start to express in words what is on our minds or in our hearts, new ideas emerge, ideas that can surprise us and lead us to inner places we hardly knew were there.

One of the most satisfying aspects of writing is that it can open in us deep wells of hidden treasures that are beautiful for us as well as for others to see."

The second one was titled, "Making Our Lives Available to Others"
Nouwen writes, "One of the arguments we often use for not writing is this: "I have nothing original to say. Whatever I might say, someone else has already said it, and better than I will ever be able to." This, however, is not a good argument for not writing. Each human person is unique and original, and nobody has lived what we have lived. Furthermore, what we have lived, we have lived not just for ourselves but for others as well. Writing can be a very creative and invigorating way to make our lives available to ourselves and to others.

We have to trust that our stories deserve to be told. We may discover that the better we tell our stories the better we will want to live them."

I read many blogs, emails, articles and books on a daily basis, and I feel continually blessed to be able to read, learn from, and be given insight into so many people's journeys of life and faith. Keep writing, keep pouring out your hearts. For me, writing is the best way I know to make my life available to others. I am thankful that I have so many friends, and even people I don't know, who are making their lives available to me.

The Power of Words

I was reminded today, in a number of ways, of the power of words. Really, it doesn't take much to remind me of that. Words are one of things I am most passionate about, especially written words. I am not feeling particularly profound tonight, and fear my own attempt at using words to express myself will be in some way inadequate, but today, three things stood out as I thought about words.

1. I had the priviledge of spending most of the day at a seminar on spiritual formation taught by Brian McLaren. If you don't know who Brian McLaren is, go to your local bookstore and ask for either "A New Kind of Christian" or "A Generous Orthodoxy" and read them - McLaren has some interesting things to say about how the church needs to respond to the challenges presented by a world that is increasingly "postmodern." Later, I'll probably have some things to say about the seminar (I'm still processing much of what I heard) but I was reminded as I listened to McLaren speak, of the power of words to communicate and challenge - McLaren is often the center of controversy in Christian circles for daring the church to look at life differently. I love that words have the power to challenge comfort zones in some way.
   
2. After I came home from the seminar, I checked my email. I am on a mailing list from the Henri Nouwen society (henrinouwen.org), that sends me a daily reflection written by Nouwen. I found Nouwen to be incredibly profound on a regular basis, but today, especially, I was captivated by the truth I recognized in his words. The reflection for today was titled "Writing to Save the Day" and went as follows: "Writing can be a true spiritual discipline. Writing can help us to concentrate, to get in touch with the deeper stirrings of our hearts, to clarify our minds, to process confusing emotions, to reflect on our experiences, to give artistic expression to what we are living, and to store significant events in our memories. Writing can also be good for others who might read what we write. Quite often a difficult, painful, or frustrating day can be "redeemed" by writing about it. By writing we can claim what we have lived and thus integrate it more fully into our journeys. Then writing can become lifesaving for us and sometimes for others too."
   
3. I rented the movie "Finding Neverland" tonight. If you haven't seen it, pick it up - it's an incredibly powerful film. I'm still processing it too, but it, like the other events of my day reminded me of the power of words. In the movie, the power of words is the ability to transport us beyond the ordinary. To inspire our imaginations and create fantastic dreams. The power of words is life-giving.
   

I am so incredibly thankful for God's gift of words, and particularly of writing. It is in writing that I feel my heart most truly expressed - to God and to others. I am thankful for parents, and particularly for a father who encouraged and cultivated a passion for language, for written expression in my life. For parents who pretended not to notice the book I hid under my bedcovers on long summer nights. For parents who pretended not to notice how many times I got out of bed after being tucked in on winter nights to use the bathroom, smuggling a book along, because I could turn the light on and read in the bathroom, and I couldn't in my bedroom! For parents who cultivated imagination, and played along when we were pioneers in our backyard, painting the walls of our playhouse green and yellow by using dandelions and chives. I am thankful for a language that allows my heart to be expressed. I am reminded tonight of the power of words.

Finally Finished

It is almost 2am now. I have just finished writing my final term paper for the semester. It is just over 3000 words long, and I am relieved that it is finished, but not yet relaxed enough to sleep. In a few minutes I will head for bed, and in morning I will print my paper, and go up to school to turn it in. It feels good to be done.

May I recommend the novel, "The Story of Blue Eye" by Tyler Trafford? I know I mentioned it in my previous post, but I really did like the story. I know it rather intimately now, having just spent the last few days writing a 3000+ word paper about it. I enjoyed the story. I've read it twice now, and it captured my attention both times. I will definitely be watching for the next book in the series to be released. Incidentally, however, while I enjoyed reading the book immensely, I don't recommend picking it apart. In my opinion there is nothing that can ruin the enjoyment of a good novel like picking apart story lines, or, in this case, evaluating it as a source of history, and for what it communicates about such obscure and transient concepts such as frontiers, borders, borderlands and social boundaries.

I have only five classes remaining to complete my history degree. Five option classes, and I will have a degree that I'm not sure what to do with. I have loved studying history these past four years - especially the reformation history on which I have chosen to focus. It's now time to start making decisions about the future. I think I want to pursue graduate studies, possibly at a seminary. But maybe, I'll go into Education, get a B.Ed. and teach for a while and do graduate work later, when I am more financially stable again. Who knows? So many options to lay before God and ask for guidance in.

Random Thoughts

Here is my collection of random ideas for tonight:

• I love bookstores. They smell so good. I particularly like used bookstores - especially ones like Pilgrim books - lots of fantastic stuff, fantastic prices, and they'll keep an eye out for the books you want, and phone you if they ever come in.
  
• I don't LOVE selling china. But I do like it. For retail, it's a pretty good job. Most of the customers are nice. The coworkers tend to be pleasant. I have lots of free time at work since most of our business is done in orders, so there's not a lot of work to be done in a 5+ hour shift.
  
• Slow work shifts mean I have time to memorize Scripture. I can't read a book, but I can tuck a printout of a passage into my pocket, pull it out, and memorize a couple of verses a shift. I'm currently working on Psalm 116. I think I've got the first 3 verses down.
  
• It's true that it gets harder to memorize as you get older. When I was a kid, I would have been able to memorize the same amount in half the time. Now, it takes me forever to learn six lines!
  
• I thought my tendency to procrastinate had gotten better - it hasn't. My last paper of the semester is due Monday morning around 11. I haven't started it yet. I'm working until 9 tomorrow night, and all day Sunday, then church Sunday night... I guess it'll be a couple of late nights writing.
  
• I'm not all that enamored with the topics of frontiers, borders, borderlands, and social boundaries. That's what I have to write a 12-15 page paper on in the next few days - how these concepts operate in a rather interesting novel that I DID like titled, "The Story of Blue Eye."
  
• Everyone should spend at least a bit of time listening to a good book on CD. May I reccomend the "Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants" trilogy? I just finished listening to the third one yesterday. A great story of the friendship of four girls - a coming of age story. Nothing hugely profound, but full of fun, friends, and happiness.
  
• My tendency to procrastinate is being exacerbated by this blog. I should be writing a paper, not listing a random collections of thoughts for the evening.
  

Of all the liars...

Hmm... thought I'd better explain the title of this blog. It comes from a rock. My mom gave me a rock for Christmas with a quote painted on it. I thought the words especially profound. "Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are your own fears."

I struggle so much with fear, live so much of my life in a place of fear. I have to be continually reminded (by the rock sitting on my desk) that my fears are often liars, deceiving me and keeping me from experiencing life fully and deeply.

Testing

hmm...had to sign up so I could comment on someone else's blog. It's an intriguing idea to have my own, though.