Daily 5 - Day 269

Today's Daily 5:

1. A long phone call from my former roommate L, to start the day.  It was so good to laugh and talk and catch up on each other's lives.  I really miss her.
2. Standing in the kitchen, chatting with my dad and chopping vegetables for a veggie tray together, to take to tonight's big family Mother's Day gathering.
3. emails from a few different friends today
4. giving and getting a hug from my mom
5. Making my way through a significant list of tasks this morning.

Daily 5 - Day 248

Today's Daily 5:

1. A beautifully white top, purchased to form an outfit.
2. Waking to an early morning phone call from my former roommate, L., in the UK.  It was lovely to be woken and spend a half hour laughing and catching up on each other's current situations.  And, she's acting as a live-in helper to a grumpy 90 year old gentleman, so there was much sympathizing for each other's particularly challenging and trying living situations involving elderly people just presently.
3. A short drive to do errands, in the sunshine.
4. Feeling like the day was quiet, but oh so very productive.
5. The best kind of Sunday, full of things I love, little joys of marking things off lists, conversation with friends and family, emails, good food, and rest.

Kiwi Vocabulary - The Answers

Only one of you out there jumped on board with your guesses about the Kiwi vocabulary I listed.  And you were actually pretty accurate with some of your guesses.

So, here are the words I listed, and their meanings/usages:

Flash - something very nice.  As in "That's a flash house."

Togs - your swim suit

Jandals - flip-flops - an abbreviated version of Japanese Sandals.

Plasters - band-aids

Busting - used in reference to an urgent personal need.  As in "I drank too much water and I'm busting!"

Boot - the trunk of your car

Mince - ground beef

Capsicum - a pepper, doesn't really matter the color.  just say capsicum in the place of pepper, and tack the color on the front.

There you have it!  A less than exhaustive list of words I no longer have a use for, now that I'm living with Grandma instead of Kiwis.

Daily 5 - Day 203

Today's Daily 5:

1. An evening spent with L.  The sort of good friend who you can slip into easy conversation with, because you know all the people in each other's lives, and you've lived with each other for the last couple of years.  The kind of friend who could hear my stories about the first few days of life with Grandma and laugh knowingly both with me, and at my expense.
2. A goodbye hug.  This one was hard.  but good.
3. Watched a goofy movie, and ate popcorn.  Used up the Christmas gift from our former landlord in style, and laughed a lot.
4. Had the auditors in my office today.  Not generally a great thing, but hey, this year they're not much older than me, really attractive, and one of the two has a great British accent.  If you're going to have an annual audit, it's not so bad if the auditors are young, hot, polite, and one has a great accent to boot.
5. Wednesday is over.  Not too much of the work week left.

Looking Ahead

Are you getting tired of these posts dealing with moving, and my mundane schedule for the week?  I suppose I would be, but for the moment, they're very helpful to me in sorting out my days.

So, looking ahead, here's how the rest of the week is shaping up...

Tonight I'm hanging out with L.  After living together for the last 2 years, it's been a bit odd not to see her for the last several days.  And tonight is the big "goodbye".  She leaves the country on Friday, and becuase of my lack of a car, and her flight schedule, I won't be at the airport when she leaves.  So, this is it.  It seems a bit weird to be at the end of this chapter of life.  I wrote in a card to her last night that the last 7 months or so in particular, living at our apartment, just the two of us, have been a time where I really felt that healing was finally beginning to take hold after some very hard years.  In a time period where the community I'd thought I'd found a home with evaporated around me, she was one of the only steady influences and friends who remained.  And more valuably, when my expression of faith looked totally strange, or I dropped off the radar of church attendance, or came up with entirely random weekend trips to walk and take photos and pray, she never made me feel judged, and instead often laughed, indulged me, helped me laugh at my own crazy actions in response to Jesus' leading, and frequently tagged along, taking photos, helping with the driving, making me smile along the way.  We made living together and cooking together work, despite my many quirks and constant need for alone time, and we laughed a lot along the way.  I'm going to miss sharing my "you work in a soap opera" moments with her, sharing the cooking, and just the general laughs.  I'm also no longer going to have a use for quite a number of words that have crept into my vocabulary in the last three years of living with Kiwi's.

So, tonight we're planning to have dinner, see a movie (our former landlord gave us a gift certificate for that for Christmas, and we've not yet managed to use it), and hang out for a bit.  And say goodbye.  At least for now.  (I'm already dreaming of finding a way to make a trip to New Zealand a reality.  Anyone want to tag along?)

Tomorrow night is house church.  Because of my carless state, I'm actually meeting one of the other girls from the house church for dinner after work, since we work near each other, and catching a ride with her, since she generously offered this up as a solution to my transportation issues for this week.  I missed the gathering last week, because it was on a different night of the week than usual, and I was in the final throes of packing my life into boxes and couldn't unbury myself from that long enough to emerge and join them.  I'm looking forward to time with the community that are now becoming friends, praying and worshiping and sharing together.

And then comes Friday.  Friday night is going to be my catch-up night, I think.  Deal with some administrative stuff that will get pushed these next few nights as I enjoy time with friends.  Prepare a grocery list and do some meal planning.  Work on the unpacking situation.  And rest.

Saturday morning will be for more unpacking and settling in chores.  Saturday afternoon I have a natural health treatment scheduled (it's been a while since I've had one, and I'm looking forward to it, since it usually helps with my messed up sleep schedule), and after that I'm hanging out at my parent's house for the afternoon, doing some stuff with my mom, and likely some errands as well.

I'm actually quietly anticipating the next few days.

Wondering what they'll hold in terms of the continued attempt to adapt to my new living situation.  Hurting a little as I ponder saying goodbye tonight.  But feeling at peace as well.  And that, my friends, is something for which I've learned to be thankful.  Because those weeks and moments tend to be few and far between for me (though happening more often these days - a fact for which I'm also very grateful.)

Daily 5 - Day 182

Today's Daily 5:

1. Got a ride home from work tonight
2. Mom fed me supper
3. One day closer to the weekend
4. Laughing with my roommate, L. tonight, over some events of the day, and recognizing together the not always totally obvious differences that a few years of life experience form.  We were discussing some friends who are several years younger than us, and laughing as we realized the not always noticeable differences in being in the mid-late twenties, instead of the very early twenties.
5. Glad to come home to a comfortable bed.  So exhausted tonight, and it was such a relief to just crawl into my pajamas and bed.

Daily 5 - Day 160

Today's Daily 5:

1. Day 160!  How cool is that?
2. Laughing through a conversation with my roommate tonight.  I've been pretty stressed out lately, and feeling pretty irritated with her, so it was nice to just laugh and talk for a while.
   
3. actually getting stuff done off my list, without getting too stressed out.  (did a bit more purging of stuff - some shoes this time...)
4. Working on a notebook that I'm going to use for lists, and for organizing and sort of tracking some of my goals for the year
5. dreaming about ways to live more simply, and greenly
6. searching my heart and being a bit surprised at what some of the priorities in it are right now
7. got another yoga workout in
8. found two glass waterbottles today - hoping to make the switch from plastic.  really hoping they're durable... will have to see!
9. Got a bit of reading in, and actually have a list of some books that I want to go through in audio form.
10. really thankful for a night off.  no social stuff.  wasn't my turn to cook dinner.  so nice to just work my way through the things I needed to do, but slowly.
    

Perspective

I spent a great evening with friends, was in a good mood, and returned home to discover my roommate staring blankly at our kitchen sink, filled with some of the most disgusting water I've ever seen, and informing that me it seemed to have backed up.

Perfect.

Exit warm, happy, I just cuddled a baby for the second straight evening feelings.

I told her we needed to scoop the water out of the sink and dump it down the toilet, so that we could put draino down the drain.  She wandered off, and left me to clean up the mess she made (I guess I blame her a little.  For months I've been warning her that she needed to not let all that food go down the drain, and it seemed somehow fitting that on a day when I'd done no cooking or dishes, the final clogging came.)  I emptied two and a half dish basins of filthy out of the sink and down the toilet, poured draino in, and waited.  Nothing.  I've put more in, but I'm not hopeful.  I've told my roommate that she needs to phone or email our landlord and let him know (and also tell him that the bit of water remaining in the sink has corrosive draino in it!)

Let me be clear that while outwardly I handled the situation well, inwardly I was pretty ticked off.  I wonder sometimes if it's a New Zealander thing, because both of my roommates have been from New Zealand, and they seem to just put everything down the drain (leading to my current skills in unblocking tub and sink drains!)  I don't ever remember having a blocked drain in 24 years of living with my parents, but I've had at least 3 while living with the Kiwis.  And, I've warned them repeatedly, speaking with my current roommate even just this week about not letting crap collect in the sink and go down the drain.  I was fuming as I cleaned.  I'm still a little mad now.

And then, I sat down at my computer.  Seems some of the Canadians killed in Haiti are connected to me via their connections with a very dear friend of mine.

Perspective.

Maybe a blocked kitchen drain, even one that was much warned about, isn't worth quite so much anger and energy and effort given the devestation in Haiti, given the hundreds of thousands who are grieving that those they love have had their lives cut short, given so much other destruction.

I read this blog post that Anne Jackson wrote, and related a little.  Getting starbucks anyway.  Feeling numb.  Speaking passionately about anti-poverty issues, and then not quite knowing what to do.

I added a Red Cross button to my sidebar.  An easy way to give.  As soon as I'm paid on Friday, I'm going to give as well.

In the meantime, I'm thinking about perspective, about a blocked kitchen drain being a pretty minor thing in light of collapsed buildings, and dead loved ones.

And I'm praying.  With words, and with the cries of my heart that I trust the Spirit to know and hear and carry to the Father on my behalf.

Daily 5 - Day 47

Today's Daily 5:

1. Laughing with L. along the course of our 11 hour journey
2. The perfect sunshine, fall sky, and lighting for walking and photo taking
3. That George handled the nearly 500 kilometers we put him through without a hitch
4. moments that confirmed in the funniest ways that only I could know that I was walking where I needed to be today
5. The comfort of my pjs and bed after a VERY long and full day. I'm really excited about being in the pjs and in bed.
   

Flights!

My roommate and I are buzzing with excitement, since tonight we booked flights for a mid-october vacation!

We're looking forward to nearly 10 days away, in Eastern Canada, checking out the fall colors (which she's definitely never experienced, since they don't have fall in New Zealand, and which I've experienced in only the minor shades that we get here in Western Canada), seeing several good friends of mine, and just generally being tourists.

I was just telling her that I'm absolutely delighted that for the first time in two years I will have more than two work days in a row off, and that, also for the first time in two years, the trip I will be taking will have really absolutely nothing to do with some of the things that created so much stress in my life, and made life generally challenging. I don't think I can even explain how refreshing an idea that is - how it reinforces that I really am coming into a new season again.

Plans changed again

So, this weekend, I'm having to be flexible with my plans.

Have I mentioned that that is not a strength of mine? I like plans. I usually build some leeway into them, but I definitely prefer them not to change.

This time away has been harder and less restful than anticipated for a variety of reasons.

I'm looking forward to collecting a hug from a very dear friend tomorrow.

In the meantime, I'm in no shape to drive, and badly needing to get out of the city, so my roommate and I are doing a bit of shopping, and then she's volunteered to drive us to a favorite spot of mine in the mountains so we can spend the afternoon there.

Weary

My roommate just ordered me to bed. We were talking, I expressed how weary I've become, she took a closer look at me and ordered me to go to bed. "You don't look well."

I'm not well. I think I will be again. But I'm not in this moment.

I'm exhausted. I've been buoyed through the many challenges of these last few months by prayers, adrenaline, and few brief oasis moments. And I'm pretty spent, with two days of work left this week, then another challenging and draining trip over the weekend, and then three more days of work before I finally have a little bit of jealously guarded and carefully scheduled down-time.

I made a decision last night that I think will ultimately bring some freedom and relief, at least for a time. But right now it's a decision that, as right as it seems to be deep within me, is causing pain and grief as well.

I've had enamorment, and deep hatred in turns for 24/7 prayer, but tonight, tonight my mind is being drawn back to a line from "The Vision" that Pete Greig wrote, "my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great 'Amen!' from countless angels, from heroes of the the faith, from Christ himself..."

I sort of need that to be true tonight. I need to be buoyed on the prayers of the saints, on the voices of angels, on the faith of others. Because tonight I'm feeling feeble, barely able to summon even a whisper, and most definitely exhausted and faithless.

Cozy.

My roommate just came into the living room and remarked that I looked "cozy".

I suppose I am, though mostly it's the lamplight that's doing it. Throwing that atmosphere of cozy warmth, and compensating for the fact that it's now well past dusk, and too dark to count on natural light for seeing.

I finished another book tonight. I'll be adding it to the list in my sidebar shortly. Anne Lamott, was, I think, just what my heart has needed this last little while.

I made a quick trip to the scrapbooking shop after dinner tonight. I had a coupon, and wanted to buy something to organize my cardstock. I'm still working on sorting and unpacking the last several boxes. Most of what is left contains craft and scrapbooking supplies, and I am hoping that if I store it in a way that is organized, but also visible, I will feel a bit more regularly inspired to make use of some of it. Organizing what's left is going to require another trip to Ikea, but I know what I need now, and think it's totally doable to get this all sorted out.

It was a really nice break to not have to cook dinner tonight too. My roommate made frittata for us (and it was great). That meant that when I got home from work I could relax, instead of immediately diving into cooking and cleaning up in the kitchen. I sent a few emails, and did some reading.

The ability to relax like that created the mental space, too, to finally sit for a while with a journal. I've been avoiding my journal this week because there is so much going on in my mind and heart and it seemed overwhelming to try to write and capture it.

As I sat down to write, I remembered a piece of advice from Anne Lamott's "Bird by Bird: Some Thoughts on Writing and Life" and decided to just capture what fit within a "one inch picture frame". I gave myself permission to only journal about one pressing topic, and it is helpful to me to have finally written it, and prayed it out in writing in the pages of my journal. It feels someone more sorted within my head.

Yes, there are still many topics that I need to capture in those pages. And yes, there are still so many thoughts outstanding within my heart, so many deep things that Jesus is speaking and nudging and causing me to wrestle with as they surface, but for tonight, I captured that which was most pressing, and in that I found some rest.

And now, now I'm off to run through my nightly devotional routine, and then to rest. Sleep was deeply marked by intense dreams, filled with themes that grabbed at my heart last night, and I find myself tired. I'm praying for rest and dreams of Jesus tonight.

Too Early Again...

I'm awake too early a few mornings in a row.

This morning, though, I'm crabby about it.

My roommates are generally considerate people, but they are incapable of coming home and getting ready for bed, or getting ready to go out in the morning at anything but top volume. And our house has hardwood floors, which magnifies the noise.

None of these would be problems if I was better at sleeping.

And they wouldn't be a problem today, if they hadn't loudly arrived home from a pre-wedding celebration for the one at 2 am.

And then loudly began banging around in our kitchen again only 5 hours later to prepare for a hike they're headed out on.

I was awake for quite a length of time at 2 am due to their preparations for bed and my inability to fall quickly to sleep.

And unfortunately, they were loud enough this morning that it became clear that making it back to sleep wasn't going to happen.

So, I'm ensconced again in the living room (the internet isn't working in my bedroom), checking a few emails and blogs, and planning to journal for a while. (And wishing we had a comfortable couch.)

Wedding Central Again

We're now officially in the last month before the roommate wedding.

And tonight our house has been taken over by bridesmaids needing their dresses fitted.

Lots of giggling, and comments about weight and shoes, and what bra is the right one to wear under the dress.

It's wedding central again, and for the moment, I'm more amused than stressed by it. Let's pray that it stays that way for the rest of the month, especially when the stress of the impeding move starts stacking up as well!

Roommate Tensions?

So, our house is feeling a little tense this afternoon.

Our landlord stopped by, and will be listing our house tomorrow. He requested that we keep the inside of the house cleaned and the lawn mowed so that the house shows well. (He'll give us 24 hours notice before any showings, but still...) This means we need to do some cleaning (have I mentioned that one of my roommate's in particular is not the cleanest person around??) and that the lawn needs to be mowed.

All of these are tasks I've taken care of for most of the last year. That I've done far more than my fair share of the time. And today, today I just need to rest. I'm tired and my energy levels are pretty low from yesterday's activities and demands, so, I'm wrapped in some blankets and crashed out for the moment in front of the television, watching a dvd.

I simply left a note on our fridge white board, letting my roommates know that the cleaning needed to be done, and the lawn needed to be mowed. (And, in my defense, I scrubbed the bathroom before I left the note.)

One roommate took it well. The other, not so much. But, you know what, I'm trying to not let that bother me. We've all got stuff on our plates. Yes, she's planning a wedding, but really, with the amount of time she and her fiancee spend at our house, one of them can take an hour to mow our lawn (it's not that large.) So, I'm working on not letting her annoyance bother me. They're all heading out again later and the house will be nice and quiet and peaceful.

At this point, I just want to survive the next month. I need to find one roommate and I a place to live. I need to go through the involved process of packing and moving. I need to survive the last month of craziness in wedding central. And I need to do all of these things without becoming totally homicidal or saying things I'll regret.

Nudity, taking bad risks, and feminism

My roommate and I packed up the car this morning and headed for the mountains. We drove a new route, a much more winding, somewhat longer, but generally very pretty route. We spent a couple hours wandering the main street shops of the little town we visited. We got a Thai lunch that was less than extraordinarily Thai, but was still quite edible. We bought a few varieties of fudge to snack on. We soaked in the hot springs for a while as snow flakes drifted around.

And then we drove home, and that is where the title of this post comes in. Yesterday when we visited the library together, we grabbed a number of travel themed books. Mostly guides to the various day trips, walks and hikes available in and around Calgary. But on a whim, I also grabbed a book with the unlikely title of "100 Places Every Woman Should Go." I'd thrown the book in my bag as we were leaving the house this morning, and as we were leaving the hot springs to drive home I handed her the book and we decided we'd go through it and either add the places to our collective lists of "must sees or must dos" OR that we'd mock the book.

What followed was a raucous hour as she read me bits and pieces of the book, and we collectively mocked it. We talked a lot about feminism too.

Here's what we decided: according to this particular book, a high proportion of the places every woman should go either involve new age spiritual experiences, nudity, really odd risks of life and limb, or some combination of the three. At last count, we were supposed to try nudity in California, Japan, Russia, Spain, and Croatia. As for collectively odd spiritual experiences, we were supposed to have those in Guatemala, Mexico, the US, and somewhere in Europe that I've forgotten. Odd risks of life and limb included several treks involving volcanic craters (which tended to also be spots of "energy convergences" conveniently enough for those seeking the spiritual experience as well as the risk!), oh, yes, and trekking in the mountains in Pakistan. You know, the mountains that border Afghanistan. The mountains filled with bombs and terrorists and so forth.

We've also decided that the book was definitely American in flavor. For each category, there tended to be both an exotic option, or a local option. Belly Dancing, for example could be experienced in Morroco or Turkey, but also conveniently enough, in the American belly dancing capital - Austin, Texas.

Other options included in the book featured such "feminine" attractions as sites dedicated to Joan of Arc, an Egyptian Queen, or Salem, Massachusetts, because, of course, the site of the Salem Witch Trials is something every woman should experience!

We talked for a while, too, about the fact that, as women, we're not all that gung ho on the whole feminism thing. We're just not militant enough! We talked about, as an example, the "Women's Centre" on the campus of the university where my roommate works, and I did my undergraduate degree. How theoretically, the woman's centre should be a place where any female on campus could feel comfortable. But, the fact is, that unless you're a fairly militant pro-abortion type, or a lesbian, you're not going to fit in at the woman's centre. And heaven forbid that we might actually want to have babies or husbands (admittedly not particularly high on my priority list at this moment) or that we'd value a baby over a career.

Our conclusion? We probably won't be using the book as an exhaustive guide for planning our future travels. And, while we're glad for the opportunities like voting, and equality, and education that feminism has offered, we're not all that sold on it as a movement either.

(and now, now I'm wondering if the search terms from this blog post are going to get me in trouble, and get me hate mail!)

Sunday in the Mountains

I spent yesterday with my roommate L., in the rocky mountains, in and around the tiny town of Banff.

The week and weekend were hard, and I badly needed a break from all that marks my current daily reality.

And yet, I'd wondered if the mountains would really be a better plan.

I fell in love with the mountains as a child. My dad taught me that God is deeply present in his creation. It's the lesson from him that I'm most grateful for. The mountains near my hometown have long been the place I've gone for freedom, for rest, for escape.


But this last year that's vanished a little, in the face of some challenging situations. The mountains have been very much a hard place to be, a place marked and defined by the struggles of the year. Sometimes still home to deep moments and healing, but very much bittersweet.

And so I set out to remind myself that this was the place I go to meet with God, to be restored. To be free, even if only for a few moments. I set out to take back some of the promises that have been mine since I was a child.

As I drove, we listened to worship music. We talked some, but mostly we listened and sang along. Church of sorts while sitting in George.

And Jesus spoke a little, in whispers, through the lyrics of some of the songs.

We'd borrowed my dad's very nice camera, and stopped at a number of spots along the way to take photos of creation, and of each other.

We laughed a lot.

We visited my favorite lake.



We shopped the main street of Banff, laughing and talking and looking at artwork.

We took photos everywhere we went. Just over 300 over the course of the day.

We visited the old and regal Banff Springs Hotel, had lunch in The Rundle Room, curled up in the antique furniture, near windows overlooking the terrace and Mount Rundle. We played more with the camera, and took cookbook quality photos of our lunch.




And then we went to the Hot Springs, and soaked tired bodies, while sitting in the pool with bits of snow still falling.

It was a good day. The much needed easing into freedom that I'd longed for. You can view some more of the pictures from the day here.

It was a good day, but re-entry into the reality of life proved far rougher than expected.

Within hours of arriving home, the realities that mark my life right now had come crashing in. The pain and the exhaustion and the tears. The longing for things that were, and things that are no longer. The realities of brokenness on so many levels.

It was an odd sort of dichotomy. A much needed day away, but a disconnect in returning. A surreal feeling. Like living two separate existences within the span of 24 hours

Tuesday - Little Things

It's the little things, you know?

The little things that I'm thinking about tonight.

About how, a few weeks ago, I heard Jesus speak love to me through the voice of my dad. I was showing my parents a lovely new coat I'd purchased, that I was very excited about. I'd bought it because, when I looked at it in the mirror, I felt elegant. A particular word and description were stored in my mind, a secret feeling of beauty. No one could have known that word. I hadn't told anyone. And yet, as my dad complimented the coat, he used that word to describe it. And I heard in his voice, the whisper of Jesus saying "you really are beautiful."

About a moment last night, when the voice of another friend confirmed something I thought I'd heard Jesus say. I was purchasing a gift for a friend, wondering if she'd like it, but a particular word was associated with it immediately when I saw the item in the store, and that word meant something, so I went ahead and purchased the item. Later in the evening, I was showing my roommate and her fiancee the item. Her fiancee immediately used the word I'd "heard" when I'd first seen the item to describe it. It made me smile to hear God's whisper to me, his encouragement to pray, in the words of another.

I'm thinking about less serious little things too.

About taking control, and being proactive in the attempt to see some changes in my life.

About eating peanut M & M's. I feel that they must be eaten in a specific color order, though this order varies based on my mood. You always eat the ugliest or most boring color first, and the prettiest color last. Blue is always the prettiest color, with red the second prettiest. The order varies from there depending on my mood.

I haven't watched the innauguration address yet - I guess that's more of a big thing. But I'm planning to do that shortly here.

I have, however, in the last few days, enjoyed two older movies that always make me smile. The American President, and Sabrina (the version with Harrison Ford.)

It was nice to eat a properly home-cooked meal tonight. I made baked chicken breasts, and roasted baby potatoes, and peas.

Little things like sales on items that are a bit of a luxury, but are justifiable on sale.

Little things like three pure white candles, that smell like spring, lit most evenings on my dresser, near where I sit to read and write and think and rest and pray.

And little things like Anne Lamott's "bird by bird" story. I'm reading her book of that title right now, and I love the story that gives it the title - you should pick the book up and read it.

I told a friend the other night that that's my current motto. That for a while, I'm just going to take life "bird by bird".

Tonight I'm glad for the little things.

Not Much to Say

I survived another day at work.

I received some disappointing news today. Nothing catastrophic, just something I'd hoped for (and at the same time been afraid to hope for) that didn't pan out. I shed a few carefully hidden tears and then moved on.

My roommate and I chatted about that tonight. She had a similar, shed a few tears, then pull yourself together moment today.

I'm heading out in a little while to have coffee with a friend I haven't seen in at least a year, likely longer. If I'm not mistaken, she's travelled the world since I last saw her, so there should be lots to share.

I feel like I don't have a whole lot to say.

The weekend I had took a toll on my energy. I think that the outcomes of the weekend will ultimately be good, but right now I'm exhausted, and facing another week of work at a place that is immensely emotionally and spiritually draining.

I've been sleeping several hours a night lately. A supplement that a friend recommended seems to be helping. The flip side of that is that I've been sleeping deeply enough to have all sorts of wild and crazy and disturbing dreams. Not sure whether I prefer the sleepless nights or the dreams at this point, though a friend assures me that physically it's better for my goal to get my health back under control to be sleeping.

Anyway. I'm a rather boring person at the moment, so I think I'll stop here! There are thoughts percolating for better posts to come this week, but I need a free evening and a bit more energy to form them into words.