Daily 5 - Day 222

Today's Daily 5:

1. 222 days of this.  Mostly just because 222 is a fun number.
2. Got a treatment at Mom's tonight.  It helped my aching neck and shoulders.
3. Actually finished a chapter in the book I'm reading for review.  (It's like the never-ending book, so I'm pleased when I finish a chapter.)
4. Bought groceries for the week and carted them home via transit (and via a stop at Mom and Dad's).  Found everything I needed, got great service from a clerk in the vegetable department, and managed to fit it all in my backpack for the train trip to Mom and Dad's.
5. Supper at Mom and Dad's - handmade BBQ'd bratwurst (in buns) from the tiny German butcher shop in the town Mom grew up in, and roasted vegetables.
6. The feeling of a hot shower at the end of a kind of rough day
7. Checked my aeroplan miles tonight.  I have with 100 miles of enough for a trip either East or West later this year, depending on which destination I decide that I prefer.  This is a totally exciting prospect to me - free (or almost anyway) flights!
8. Still loving Anis Mojgani's "Shake the Dust"
9. Got caught up again on The Amazing Race tonight.  My favorites are still the cowboys, but I'm liking the police detectives too.
10. Mom had a blow dryer, with a diffuser to lend me for a bit.  This is fantastic news since basement living in the (very) early spring has made it a bit less of an option to let my hair air dry, and because my blow dryer quite literally sparked and nearly blew up while I was using it last night.  At least with a borrowed option, I don't have to rush out to buy one, and can wait until my next pay cheque.  I was thankful, too, that when sparks quite literally flew last night, neither my hair, nor the carpet was even singed.

Back in the Office

It's Monday morning, and I'm back in the office.

I'm wishing I could be curled up someplace warm, instead, near a fireplace, and spend the day writing and processing.  There's a lot shifting within me, and I'm wishing I had the time to really entertain that, to sit with it and honor it.  But this week is the busiest one on my schedule in probably the last year.

I forgot that our receptionist has the day off today, so I'm doing double duty.  My job and hers. 

And it's Monday morning, and all the calls that were stored up over the weekend are coming in.

If I can steal a few moments to write, I will.

I'll sit quietly on the bus tonight.  I'm taking two buses to get home tonight - it'll take a long time, really, but I wanted to give myself that time and space.  I needed to grocery shop after work, and there is a bus stop just outside the grocery store.  So I'll sit and listen and read as I take the bus for a few hours to get home.

In the meantime, I was just tasked to make a large number of phone calls, trying to track down people who are elusive at best, and get them to commit to two conference calls within the next week.  This, in addition to answering the phones all day, and my general duties.

It'll be an interesting day, it seems.

Daily 5 - Day 164

Today's Daily 5:

1. Had a treatment this morning - hopeful that means I'll start feeling more like myself again in the next day or two.
2. Appreciated the love in my mom's eyes as I admitted some lingering irrational fears while we were doing errands together.  The love and the knowledge that she knows what it is like to have to face those fears.
3. Appreciated a conversation with a dear friend this morning too.  The words stung, but they will resonate, and help to shape my heart, and that is something that these days I find a blessing, albeit a painful one.
4. Thankful to have gotten the grocery shopping for next week done today - means I can simply be at home most evenings next week.
5. Spent a few hours clipping from magazines and listening to some podcasted radio interviews that I had a backlog of - still amazed at which things are catching my eye to clip.
6. Took a garbage bag of clothes I no longer wear to the thrift store today
7. Hamburgers and a really great Asian salad for lunch
8. Lavender in my oil burner
9. Holing up in my bedroom for the last 6 hours or so, and simply being
10. Got the budget updated - it's tight this month, but I'm going to manage to stay within it.
    

Daily 5 - Day 158

Today's Daily 5:

1. A slow Sunday
2. Grocery shopping is done for the week - I asked my roommate if we could please do this today, so that I can free up an evening this week, recognizing that I need to have a bit of down time this week.
3. Used a kit and made tandoori beef and basmati rice tonight.  It was actually pretty tasty.  Indian food can be totally hit and miss for me.  I tend to really like the idea of it, and then sit down to eat it and realize that while I love the idea, and even some of the smells, I don't always love the taste.  It was nice to have the idea and the taste mesh tonight.  Plus, the kit was a bonus points item at Sobeys yesterday.  About $4 for the kit, and I got 40 bonus points, which translates to 20 aeroplan miles.  (Have I mentioned I'm eager to travel again???)
4. Yoga.  I was in the midst of a downward funk this morning and needed to do something to distract myself.  I chose to do a yoga workout and then take a long shower.  It helped.
5. Finishing a book.  I mentioned that in my previous post, but I've been reading this particular book off and on for a number of months and it was sort of a goal for the weekend to finish it up.  I was really pleased to accomplish that goal, and also that the book really did remind me to continue thinking joyfully and choosing differently.
6. Playing the worship service from a church I follow online while I worked in the kitchen tonight.  Love that the internet lets me have church come to my kitchen.
7. Did a crossword puzzle online.  Love the challenge of sorting out words.  I feel like it's good for reawakening my mental capacities.
8. I actually had a very productive day, and still managed to rest.
9. Painting my fingernails and toenails.
10. A clean bedroom for the coming week.
11. (bonus!) The scent of lavender from my oil burner.  I've been burning it in large doses lately, and loving how beautiful my bedroom has been smelling because of it.
    

Daily 5 - Day 157

I know I started this morning by saying I was pondering some good thoughts, and I'd likely be back later to share them.

Oops.

I had the best kind of Saturday.  A little bit of time with my family.  A few successful errands.  A lot of quiet time alone in the house (I actually really needed that after the week I've had.)  Some reading.  Some creative stuff.  It was good.

I'm still pondering those good thoughts.  Maybe I'll write about them tomorrow.  We'll see.  I want to let them settle within me for a while and make themselves at home before I share them with the world.

So, in the meantime, here's today's daily 5:

1. Got the oil in George changed.  My brother J. is out of work at the moment and agreed to change the oil for me for what I normally pay my mechanic.  It thrilled me to have that item off of my to do list.
2. Hung out with T for a while.  Fun to talk with him, and then with our dad and J. as well about our lives and changes coming for us.
3. Love dollar days at Sobeys.  Contrary to popular belief, I actually don't hate grocery shopping, I just have a strong dislike for the store that we shop at on a weekly basis.  Sobeys has a much better atmosphere, and they had a sale this week.  Things like 3lbs of bacon for the price of one.  Sweet deal.  I went this morning and stocked up on a number of items.
4. I very consciously spent about 40 minutes reading this afternoon.  Lately, reading for me has been in kind of snatched moments here and there (I actually do a lot of reading in the bathroom!)  It was nice to spend 40 straight minutes working through a book I'm trying to finish.  It was better still that God was speaking and encouraging my heart in what I was reading.
5. I spent a good chunk of the afternoon clipping words, pictures, articles and recipes out of magazines so that I could recycle everything I don't need from the magazines.  It was so relaxing to sit and clip things, and sort of enlightening, too, to consider which words and phrases are catching my attention right now, and to consider how those reflect shifts in how I'm dealing with life, and the desires of my heart for the coming year and beyond.
6. I woke up this morning with this spot running through my mind.  I heard about it in an audio book I'm working my way through, and think that this is a place I'd really love to visit.  Anyone want to make a trip to Turkey with me?
7. the color pink
8. oil burner with lavender and lavender scented candles lit all around my house today.
9. organic dried pineapple - tasty!
10. playing a few games online... fun way to turn my brain off for a bit.
    

Daily 5 - Day 152

Today's Daily 5:

1. laughing at lines in emails from various friends
2. spent some time today thinking about the incredible change I've seen in some of my friends as they've become mothers - this crazy blossoming in them that's been really cool to see.  I was thinking about it because another friend is now within a month of her due date and I got an email from her today.  Suppose it seems a weird topic for a happily single girl to be pondering, but I really do think it's been this incredible blessing, and I've loved watching my friends bloom in this way.
   
3. listening to an audio book driving home from work today.  the one I started on the weekend.  actually quite enjoying this one, even when it's stirring some odd memories.
4. peanut m&m's - okay, these haven't made my list in a while, give me a break.  A girl's gotta have a little chocolate, and nuts are good for me (so is chocolate for that matter!) - I read an article at some point today that told me so :)
5. not having to cook dinner - love when my roommate takes a turn and we still get to eat great food.
6. grocery shopping is done for the week.  and it was QUICK!  love that!
7. Did some meal prep for tomorrow night - a friend and her baby are joining us for dinner, and I'm making new recipe #2 for the month (which reminds me that I still haven't done anything about the photos of new recipe #1... I'll get on that... after this week, when I'm not insanely busy)
8. feeling some changes in my heart, and loving them, and even being able to articulate them a little.
9. candle lit in my oil burner all evening
10. the grocery store actually had everything we needed (this is a rare occurrence, often leading to last minute meal ingredient subsitutions, and/or trips to a different grocery store after visiting the first store)
    

Daily 5 - Day 131

Today's Daily 5

1. Making it through a long list of tasks at work, some of which were time sensitive, while still managing to answer phones for a large chunk of the morning and manage the front desk.
2. A small, very thoughtful Christmas gift from a friend received as we had lunch together today - an item I'd looked at a number of times, but never purchased.
3. Hearing her say that she'd bought them because they made her think of me. That was deeply encouraging because my relationship with this friend has been uncertain, and I've often felt like she didn't know or understand me well, but this gift was a very thoughtful indication that she does "see" me at least a little, and that was encouraging to me today.
4. One more baking task finished.
5. A grocery trip where everything was in stock (went by myself to a different store than usual)
6. finished making a small gift for another friend
7. curled up in bed playing a game on my laptop
8. emails that are completely caught up at the moment
9. knowing that I'm getting very close to ten days or so in a row off of work
10. the joy of making gifts and anticipating giving them
    

Daily 5 - Day 124

Today's Daily "5":

1. Surviving a bit of a crazy and odd Monday.
   
2. A new "last minute lasagna" recipe experiment for supper (uses ravioli stuffed with cheese instead of lasagna noodles) that was really tasty.
3. Weather that warmed up a bit, making the train ride and walk home a lot less painful than the ride and walk this morning.
4. Unexpectedly getting my least favorite household "chore" (grocery shopping) of the week out of the way tonight because I realized I needed to drive my car for a little while, just to warm it up in this cold.
5. A grocery shopping trip that was really quick and smooth, and almost enjoyable.
6. Knowing that grocery shopping unexpectedly tonight means that I have an entire, unscheduled free evening tomorrow night.
   
7. Driving an old car that may have it's quirks, but starts like a charm in these ridiculous temperatures, without being plugged in at night.
8. wrapping a simple birthday gift and card for a friend, as well as a Christmas card for her and her husband in preparation for mailing tomorrow.
9. finding several more recipes that all look delicious and can be made with the same base sugar cookie dough.
10. enjoying a few games on facebook for bits and pieces of the evening.
    

Daily 5 - Day 117

(before I start today's Daily 5 list, the history geek within me compels me to remind you that today is Pearl Harbor day - you know "December 7, 1941, a day that will live in infamy". Okay, with that history infomercial out of the way, let's proceed.)

Today's Daily "5":

1. I feel kind of pathetic for admitting this, but I'm excited about the possibility to have coffee and maybe start friendships with two girls I met in various places. The truth is that in the last few years I've lost a lot of relationships I really valued, and I haven't really felt like risking new ones, but that is slowly changing again, and it was sort of affirming to have those tentative reaching out steps I've been taken be validated a little in that way.
2. Grocery shopping was relatively smooth, and to be really honest, I'm so incredibly glad that it's Monday and finished for the week.
3. I'm really thankful for internet and facebook and email, which lets me keep in touch with people around the world, and lets me keep up on the goings on in various friends lives even when my health and energy levels don't always permit me to have a wildly active social life
4. I enjoyed the laugh I got reading a blog post my friend LP/CA wrote tonight
5. I'm thankful for a simple supper that still allowed me to get my yoga workout in before going grocery shopping, even after getting home nearly 40 minutes later than usual thanks to slow moving traffic and gross winter road conditions.
6. I'm thankful for the throw blanket that was the Christmas gift from my company to each staff member. It's the thickest, coziest throw I've ever had, and I'm spending quite a lot of time wrapped up in it thanks to the weather.
7. I'm thankful for a car that seems to be relatively reliable, even in the stupidly cold weather we've been having. I've never yet (in the year and a bit that I've owned it) had to plug it in at night in the winter. I'd say that's a feat for a car that is 17 years old and only cost me a dollar to purchase!
8. I'm thankful that the next few nights are mercifully without plans. I can just chill at home and rest.
9. I'm thankful that I was able to find wool at the craft store tonight to darn the thumbs of my mittens. My brothers bought me these great fairly traded mittens and matching toque last winter, but the thumbs of the mittens need a little love. Since I found wool that will match relatively well, I'll be spending part of tomorrow evening repairing mitten thumbs!
10. I'm thankful to be at item number 10 on day 117 of making these lists. It's amazing to me that for 117 days I've been making the effort to find the positives in my day.
    

Daily 5 - Day 106

Today's Daily 5 (or so):

1. Bemused laughter at the incredible nature of some events that rather fully displayed God's deeply ironic sense of humor to me today
2. a relatively decent day at work
3. "NUHEART"
4. grocery shopping for this pay period (even with some extras for all the baking I've been doing) coming in at just (barely - like $3) under budget
5. making it through the tightest pay period yet on my budget and still having enough for what I needed, and even for some wants
6. freshly washed sheets, pajamas and towels
7. news of a very good sale tomorrow at a shop that I use items from daily, and realizing that I can find time in the midst of a very busy schedule to get there (I know sales are common in the States the day after thanksgiving, but tomorrow is just another day here in Canada, and it was nice to get news of a great sale.)
8. maple chicken and yams for supper - new recipe, turned out quite well, and I'll definitely be making it again
9. A grocery shopping trip that didn't involve drama. Everything was in stock for a change, and I didn't leave the store in a homicidal mood (though, I was quite distracted and amused/bemused by other events of the day, so that probably helped)
10. chuckling with a couple different friends over the events of the day.
    

Daily 5 - Day 98

Today's Daily "5":

1. feeling relatively peaceful, despite two rather intense days and two rather intense nights in a row
2. the chicken gumbo I made last night was tasty!
3. grocery shopping went relatively smoothly (read: I didn't leave the store in an incredibly foul mood)
4. Wendy's for lunch - I was in the mood for a grilled chicken sandwich and some fries, and it was ultimately quite satisfying
5. "Maybe" by Ingrid Michaelson (played it on repeat almost all day)
6. both of my parent's calling me within 10 minutes of each other to tell me that a package had arrived for me (I get my mail at their address still - easier than changing addresses every time I move)... it was really quite funny to have them both call to tell me exactly the same thing, and added a chuckle to my day
7. telling funny childhood "word" stories at coffee break... those moments when as a parent or grown-up you just really want to laugh, but shouldn't.
8. chocolate cake
9. a few games of bejeweled blitz on facebook (sort of a nice way to relax)
10. finishing up my four days in a row of exercise for the week, and knowing I'm coming up on some days where I don't have to rush home from work and cram yoga in before cooking dinner.
    

Feels like a long week

It feels like it should be Thursday at the very least. It's only Wednesday.

I'm listening to Ingrid Michaelson's "Maybe" on repeat this morning. The refrain, "maybe, in the future..." plays over and over in my thoughts.

I discovered this morning that Jason Upton is doing a conference in a small city only 3 hours drive from here this weekend. I'm far too broke to attend, which is disappointing.

Tonight is grocery shopping night. That means that I'm already praying for a peaceful experience there. (Have I mentioned that while I don't mind grocery shopping, I have a strong dislike for the discount warehouse type store we do most of our grocery shopping at? I refer to it as the "soul-sucking mega store".)

I started my four days of exercise a day earlier than usual this week. (I read a brief study that suggested that one way to increase seretonin in your brain was to do 20 minutes of moderately aerobic - they suggested yoga - exercise for at least four days in row. Apparently if you do this, there was an increase of seretonin levels in the brain shown over a period of sixty days.) Because I started a day early this week, that means tonight is my 4th day, and that I'm actually kind of excited about.

My budgeting strategy is being put to the test tomorrow. One of my favorite shops is having a sale. A good sale. 20% off everything for members instead of 10%. And it's very tempting to go stock up on the products I buy there (which include my skin care products and hair care products). But I bought what I needed, and a bit extra fairly recently, and my budget is already a bit stretched, so I think tomorrow I'm going to quietly ignore the sale. (Which hurts the bargain loving part of me that rarely pays full price for things...)

I'm really looking forward to eating the chicken gumbo I made last night for dinner tonight. It looked pretty tasty, and it's rather nice to know that on a night that will already be busy, there is a full pot sitting in the fridge, just waiting to be heated up and consumed.

I'm still in the midst of odd, deep spaces, and am thus sharing mostly the ephemera of life at the moment. I hope you'll bear with me as I sort through memories and ponder the events of my days (and nights) more quietly.

The dreaming has been thick lately, and has carried memories with it, and I'm feeling the need to process deeply and internally before sharing with the world (or perhaps never sharing with the world.)

It feels like a long week. How is it possible that it's only Wednesday?

Daily 5 - Day 90

I have this friend who loves the number 9. Because of her, I always think reaching milestones like 90 days of showing up here and making a list of things I'm grateful for, or basically any milestone with a 9 in it, are good ones!

So, here's today's Daily 5 (or more):

1. Talking on skype (even with some technical difficulties) for about an hour with A. tonight, and having time to pray together as well
2. A nice quiet day at work
3. Listening to some good preaching while I signed Christmas cards at my desk for an hour or two this afternoon
4. A grocery shopping trip that was relatively calm (something I actually prayed would be true in the time I lay awake before rising this morning)
5. Another night of getting yoga done (2 more days left in this 4 day exercise cycle)
6. getting to turn off my alarm for tomorrow morning, since tomorrow is a holiday for me
7. shared humor with a friend
8. home made cookies from the weekend
9. pizza for dinner, and leftover pizza for a later night blogging snack
10. reaching ninety days of showing up and writing a list like this of things I'm grateful for, or things that are making me smile.
    

Morning Again.

So, it's Wednesday. I'm over halfway through the work week since I'm only working a half day on Friday.

I'm still feeling like life is pretty tenuous and rough.

Our receptionist told me this morning that I looked peaceful and relaxed today. And then she knew enough to ask "Are you feeling that way?" The answer is no. But I'm glad I'm at least looking a little better.

Another coworker asked how I was doing. (She was one of the ones who asked a really basic question Monday morning that led to a teary meltdown, and has been checking in on me daily since then.) She wanted to know if I was better or worse. "About the same as yesterday," was my reply. And then we laughed, because, as I pointed out, yesterday was better than Monday. On Monday I was in tears three times before nine am.

This week, leading up to the anniversary I'm acknowledging (and maybe even celebrating) on Sunday, is traditionally hard. It's complicated this year by a number of other factors.

It also never helps that it is the week that leads up to Halloween. I am incredibly sensitive to the spiritual realm, and halloween is not a good thing for someone like that. On Saturday I'll likely be holed up at home, safely tucked away from all that activity.

It's morning again. I'm pondering thoughts surrounding freedom and surrender, and a parable Jesus told. I'm hoping to write some of those thoughts out later, but tonight seems already full with cooking and then the much "loved" trip to the soul-sucking mega store for our weekly grocery purchases.

I'm sipping tea, and wearing a scarf - both feeble attempts at prayer, but ones that I can manage today.

A dear friend succeeded in making me laugh last night when she told me something along the lines of, "You don't need a reason to celebrate. Celebrate every day. Jesus loves you, and he died for you. So snap out of it." (She said it with much love, and while we were chatting online and not with voices, I could "hear" the quirky tone in her voice, and couldn't help but chuckle. I let her know that I was pondering that, and that she'd made me laugh - no small feat at the moment!)

And with that, I need to focus on work for a bit.

Daily 5 - Day 69

Today's Daily 5:

1. Managing to sleep a bit last night
2. Getting mostly unpacked and even some of the laundry done quite quickly
3. A relatively smooth return to the office
4. An uneventful grocery shopping trip
5. a handful of peanut m&m's
   

Daily 5 - Day 49

Today's Daily 5:

1. A pretty sunrise, and sun that wasn't shining directly in my eyes as I drove to work this morning
2. A night last night where I actually got a few hours of sleep.
3. Making hamburgers for supper and using the George Foreman grill that my parents gave me for my birthday for the first time. I'll definitely be using it regularly.
4. Peak Freans Fruit Creme Cookies (the originals, not the new "healthy" version)
5. getting grocery shopping out of the way tonight, and knowing that means that I can have tomorrow evening off
   

Daily 5 - Day 41

Image by Vicki's Nature via Flickr

Today's Daily 5 (and a picture, just because I loved it):

1. Grocery shopping trip to the "soul-sucking mega store" that was far more peaceful than usual
2. A simple but delicious dinner of turkey souvlaki kebabs and coleslaw
3. Finally managing to warm up, after grocery shopping (I was absolutely freezing all day. Nothing I did to get warm at either home or the office worked... but somehow, after groceries, I was warm. go figure. especially given my great love of grocery shopping!)
   
4. A truly ridiculous laugh over a blogthings quiz (see my previous post)
5. Making trip plans for next month with my roommate and realizing a new that the much needed and longed for vacation really is going to happen!
   

09/09/09

I had a very large project that must be out of the office before closing on Friday dropped on my desk at 4:10 yesterday afternoon. It's adding some complications to my day.

I'm continuing to train our new receptionist, and that, thankfully is continuing to go well. If you could have worked with the particularly challenging coworker who left us a while back, causing the chain of events that led to my job promotion and the ultimate need for a reception replacement, you'd appreciate how truly ecstatic my department is to have hired someone who seems like she will be a good fit for our team.

Tonight is grocery shopping night at the soul-sucking mega store. It's been two weeks, since we haven't been around much to cook together, but L. and I looked at each other last night and realized that if we didn't shop, there would be nothing in our house left to eat after today. So, we'll eat a frozen (well, when we eat it it won't be frozen anymore!) pizza for dinner, and do our menu plan for the next week or so. And then we'll head out. This will also include dropping off our recycling since the depot we use is in the parking lot of the grocery store. All in all, not terribly bad... it means that I'll have food to eat for breakfast tomorrow, and that, I think, is a good thing.

I remain, however, exhausted, and a trip to the grocery store is less than an exciting prospect in my world. Necessary, but not exciting. So we'll get it done as quickly as possible, sticking closely to our list, and then I'll likely have a quiet evening and early bedtime.

Oh yeah, and, it's 09/09/09 today. I like dates like that. They amuse me. This one also makes me think of a dear friend who has a fondness for the number nine. Just thought I'd mention that too :)

Long Day, long weekend

Today at work was long. But, to be honest, it was kind of a nice distraction. It was nice to lose myself in what I was doing there, even the really mundane things, for a while.

I'm headed out tonight to grocery shop, and then to make a stop at my parent's place to pick up some mail and see my mom for a short treatment - one that will hopefully allow me to sleep better tonight, and feel a bit more rested and recovered tomorrow.

Scattered...

I am, thus far, having an incredibly scattered morning.

I've been pulled in a thousand different directions so far today, and that's just the work stuff. Never mind all the things floating around in my mind and heart.

I finally slept last night. I also dreamt odd and deep and pulling dreams. It does seem to be one or the other with me. Sleepless, or dreaming. To be honest, I'm not sure which I prefer.

Today is my grandma's 80th birthday. The plans to celebrate are for this coming Saturday, but I wanted to call her today to wish her a happy birthday. She wasn't home. Like so many of her generation, she hasn't quite figured out the total operation of her answering machine. The phone rings 10-12 times before her machine picks up, and then you typically get an annoyling electronic voice that treats each word as if it were a full sentence, "After. Tone. Leave. Message." Today I just got another electronic voice saying her answering machine was full. She also has a cell phone, that one of my aunts decided would be a good security measure for when she's out and about. Trouble is, she has even less ability to use that then her answering machine! She doesn't know the number, and no one else seems to have it either. But that doesn't matter really, since I'm fairly confident that she wouldn't have any idea how to answer a call if she ever managed to turn the phone on and receive one anyway!

My brain is running in a thousand directions. Still thinking about the events of the weekend. Still praying. Considering family, and relationships. Thinking about the dream I woke from this morning and remembering a similar and rather stunning dream a few years back. Realizing that it is once again time for the weekly trip to the soul-sucking grocery mega store. And that I also have to run a few other errands tonight. Running down the list of items remaining in our living room that I must sort through and either unpack or dispose of. Considering the people I need to be in touch with to arrange dinner or tea dates. And those are just the personal things, not the work things!

So, with that, it's back to the "to do" lists that surround me in various forms!