A Thing in Your Nose

On Sunday I attended the church my dad pastors, the church I grew up in, to hear some friends who are missionaries share their hearts.

Those of you who have been faithfully reading this blog know that I seem to have a certain magnetism for nosy older ladies when I pay visits to that church, and the seeming ability to shock them without trying (my favorite story on that front is recorded here).

This past Sunday was no exception, though it was a different lady, with a more bold approach than usual.

The service had ended, and I was standing with a small group of people - the missionary friends and a few others, when this particular lady walked up and inserted herself into our circle of conversation.

She paused for a moment, stared at my face, and then chose the following as her introductory remark:

"You have one of those things in your nose!"

She turned to our missionary friends, and commented that their daughter "does too."

I really thought we were past the stage where the elderly church ladies notice and are shocked by the tiny stud that I wear in my right nostril, since I've been wearing it for over three years now, but clearly I was wrong.

She continued to study my face intently.

"I could never do that.  I get sick too often and am always blowing my nose."

The mental image of this take charge matron of an old lady wearing a nose piercing was cracking me up.  Cracking me up in the inner voice starts to lecture sort of way, "Lisa Christine!  This would not be the appropriate time to laugh.  It would also not be the appropriate time to ask her where she had ever gotten the impression that anyone thought she should pierce her nose."

For once, the mental voice kicked in soon enough, and the filters reached my mouth.

I replied calmly, explaining (though with some secret amusement), that I too am often sick, and suffer from allergies and blow my nose constantly.  The nose ring is not a problem for this, and hasn't ever been, except perhaps for the first few weeks after it was done, when the wound was still healing.

"Well, isn't there a big thing in there, on the back, to keep it in?"

(My inner voice is still very amused that I am discussing the logistics of nose piercings with this "nosy" old lady, when only moments before I'd been having a very good conversation about ministry in South East Asia with my friends.)

And so, I explained the logistics of the fact that my particular nose ornament is made of surgical plastic or silicone, and no, it doesn't have a back, it's more of a corkscrew shape that prevents it from coming out, and it sits flush against the inside of my nostril.

This seemed to stymie her, and she moved on, leaving me rather amused that yet again my Sunday morning had taken an odd old lady turn.

Navel Gazing

So, I hung out with my friend Rae today, and followed through on something I've been quietly thinking about for a number of months. I really wasn't sure until the moment it happened that I'd go through with it, but I did.

I got my navel pierced.

Which, I suppose, is bringing a whole new meaning to the idea of "navel gazing" for a little while. Especially since I need to clean the piercing 3-6 times a day to prevent infection.

The girl who did my piercing was great. Quite funny, and we learned some new things. Things like, if you tense up, it's actually way harder for her to pierce - she says it can be like trying to push the needle through rock. She also told us a funny story about a girl whose tongue she pierced recently, who showed up the next day telling her she needed to take the piercing out - she couldn't have it for her work! (Our question was, a tongue piercing isn't visible unless you open your mouth quite wide, so how did her work find out??)

(And by the way, if you're going to have piercings done, it's definitely a bonus to have the sort of friend that Rae is to tag along with you. The artist, also pierced, collects tattoos from the countries she visits, and hides them creatively with jewelry to continue her job as a flight attendant sort of friend!)

Rae and I went out for lunch afterwards, and wandered through this fantastic stationery store that she used to work at and I've never been to before. (I bought three journals for future use - the company that makes my current favorite journal has done a few upgrades and made them even more perfect!) We also checked out this fabulous clothing shop in Kensington that I'm definitely going back to the next time I have some spare spending money. It sells mostly clothing made and designed by a local Calgary designer. The coolest part is that she travels to India and buys old saris and silks, and then brings them home and makes them into these beautiful, bohemian, colorful dresses, tops, skirts and bags. And, unlike most of your "typical" local designers and semi-upscale boutiques, these were totally in affordable price ranges. And so up my alley with the beautiful colors and bohemian flowy look of the dresses in particular.

I love both of the two photos below. The first is just me, at the restaurant, the second Rae snapped kind of sneakily, when I was pausing for the first time to actually check out what I'd had done! I was feeling full of joy in those moments. That hasn't been a common thing lately, but today I felt alive and joyful.

When I pierced my nose, I did it to mark a significant moment of God's healing in my life.

This piercing is more about hope and joy and life. About moving into a new season. About learning to love myself and be okay in my own skin. I haven't made it to all of those goals yet, (and some days they seem hopelessly far away) but now I have a "sparkly thing" to remind me to choose life and hope and joy on a daily basis.

Hmm..

I need today to go well.

There are things happening today that I would really like to have go well.

But I'm peaceful at the moment, and for that I'm grateful.

I'm wearing my "alternate eyes" today. The more corporate and conservative ones instead of the usual purple and orange ones. When I bought two new sets of eyes last spring, I really thought it would be the conservative ones that I'd wear all the time. It isn't. I wear them maybe once a month. And today is that day.

I put an emerald in my nose today. I read somewhere that emeralds have long been a "symbol of hope". So today, in defiance of the odds, I'm choosing hope. And demonstrating it sneakily, with an emerald in my nose.

Smile List - September 7 Edition

Here is the list of things making me smile today. The things I love, and am thankful for.

• hot pink crocs that were a Christmas gift from my brothers a few years back, and that I pulled out of my closet this morning to use as convenient shoes to keep by our back door for tramping to and from the back yard and garbage bins in the alley.
• cozy Winnie the Pooh slipper socks
• the smell of banana bread baking in my kitchen
• a morning of enjoying the house to myself while my roommates are at church and running errands
• an unexpected phone call from a friend who was part of a really hard conversation a week ago, wanting to know how I was doing, how my heart was, and "was I choosing life?"
• a long list of things that I've accomplished around our house this morning, including, baking, washing dishes, sweeping and mopping the kitchen, sweeping the living room and my bedroom, canceling my cable service in favor of better service from a new company, and taking the garbage out. I never want to start cleaning, but always draw great satisfaction from doing it once I get started.
• the Mamma Mia movie soundtrack (an itunes purchase this morning) playing LOUDLY in my house while I baked and cleaned.
• singing along, and maybe even dancing (shock! horror!) a little to the aforementioned soundtrack, particularly "Mamma Mia" and "Dancing Queen" while cleaning and baking.
  
• 2 dozen red roses, still hanging in there, in my bedroom
• house plants
• that the cable installation from the new company didn't take as long this morning as they warned me it might, thus effectively giving me a morning alone at home
  
• a ring I bought in Lake Louise yesterday
• a medal with Clare of Assisi around my neck on a pretty white gold chain
  
• plans to spend the afternoon doing some more stuff that needs to be accomplished around my house, reading scripture, maybe taking a bath, and probably taking a nap.
• bottled water
• an emerald in my nose ring today
  

Today...

Today…

I am wearing a vintage (retro?) cream colored blouse from South America, boldly embroidered with flowers in bright pinks, oranges and reds, over a cute lacey black tank top with jeans and black flip-flops. (Have I mentioned that the only good thing about Stampede is an entire week of casual days?) I’m also pondering the difference between vintage and retro, and wondering how to determine which category my blouse falls into. It was purchased in the seventies, likely in Colombia but possibly in Peru, by my dad, but was shrunk in the wash sometime about a decade ago, and found it’s way into my closet, where it is pulled out from time to time for those days when I either need to dress “western” or just want something a little bit bohemian and different.

I am wearing a toe-ring on my left pinky finger. It has three tiny silver butterflies on it, and it makes me smile and reminds me of some important things.

I phoned the telephone company and argued them into giving me a credit for the several days of phone and internet service that they didn’t provide to me last week. My next phone and internet bill will be $14 cheaper than usual.

I emailed someone about a lawnmower.

I invited my brothers to join some friend and family for dinner at my new house next week.

I left a phone message for my mom, checking if she’d confirmed that same dinner invitation with my dad, and asking her to email me the recipe I need so that we actually have something to eat that night.

I took the bus from my new house for the very first time.

I am wearing a "diamond" in my nose piercing.

I am listening to a playlist I made for a dear friend last fall, and enjoying the music I picked for her then.

I am sipping water from a plastic bottle, because the stainless steel one I wanted to buy was sold out at the natural food store when I stopped by there the other day.

I spent 20 minutes on hold with the local public transit authority, to have a two minute conversation about where I can catch the bus to get home tonight.

I am going to move some boxes belonging to my roommate (currently vacationing for a month in Europe) from our basement into her closet, to await her return.

I am going to collapse some of the boxes from moving that we’re keeping, and store them in our basement.

I am going to collapse the moving boxes we’re not keeping, and load them into the trunk of the car for a trip to the recycling depot in the next few days.

I am going to listen to another segment of a dramatized version of “The Voyage of the Dawn Treader” while I stick labels and stuff envelopes for most of the afternoon. I’m also going to try to stay awake while doing this task. I nearly fell asleep at my desk doing the same thing yesterday afternoon.

I’m going to eat either leftover chicken and couscous, or ichiban soup for supper.

I’m going to clean all the empty boxes out of our kitchen.

I’m going to phone our landlord to check on if there’s a smoke detector in our house somewhere that I’m not seeing, since our tenants insurance requires us to have a smoke alarm.

I’m going to bring my clean laundry upstairs from the basement where we hung it to dry on Monday night, and I’m going to fold the laundry that’s sitting in a chair in my bedroom.

I’m hoping to also bring all of my shoes and boots up from the basement, and settle them into either our hall closet or my bedroom closet.

I’m going to measure my bedroom window to see about getting blinds installed on the weekend.

I’m going to make a list of a few little things about our house that I need to ask my dad about.

I’m going to enjoy being productive, but I’m also going to scrap whatever I need to from this list in order to rest, enjoy the people I love, and make those things the priority in my life.

Unplanned

Today did not go as planned.

I didn't teach. It got put off until next week.

I didn't spend time with the young woman I'd planned to spend my afternoon with.

I ended up making a step into the unknown instead.

Into what I hope is a process of healing, and moving on.

Only an hour. Then a bus trip home, and Chinese takeout delivered to satisfy a craving.

It was all unplanned, but I think good.

I'm curled up in my favorite chair.

Wrapped in a blanket.

Reading a novel.

Wearing an emerald in my nose.

A rose that lay waiting for me on the sidewalk in my hair.

And a twirling skirt with bells on the hem.

Last Things (And Maybe New Ones?)

I'm teaching my last Sunday school lessons this morning. I'll be so glad to be finished. This has been a necessary season - one in which I've quite possibly been more struck, convicted, and taught by the lessons I've been teaching than my students have. But I'll be glad to see it draw to a close.

I think I'm spending the afternoon with a young friend... Whatever we do, I need for it to be creative. I'm needing to find ways to express my heart that are voiceless, as the words are not coming again.

I'm hoping we'll end up either in a park, by the river, or perhaps in Kensington.

It's time for new things. Time to take steps that let me move on from some of the spaces I've occupied in this season.

So.

Creativity.

An emerald in my nose.

A twirling skirt worn over capri pants, and cute ballet flats (even though they give me blisters).

A scarf instead of a jacket.

Fun earrings.

Color.

Joy.

Life.

(and secreted away in my purse some reminders. stones. and a shell or two.)

Sunday

I'm going to try and get to my favorite place in the mountains this afternoon. I need to sit there and pray.

But first, I'm teaching Sunday school.

It's all about the little ways of communicating my individuality, my secret heart, at the church I'm attending now.

So I'm wearing a beautiful, unique top, purchased yesterday from a Tibetan store downtown.

And for the morning anyway, I'm wearing a ruby in my nose. It feels like a ruby sort of morning.

An Aficionado of Wonder

My baby brother T., and I hung out last night. He leaves tomorrow to spend several weeks in England, and we wanted to spend some time together before he goes. We tried to go see the new movie "Kung Fu Panda", but by the time we got to the front of the line it was sold out. So we went to Blockbuster to see what we could rent instead. My only condition was that the movie needed to not be heavy in content. Yesterday was a brutal day, and I needed to watch something that would make me laugh. We ended up renting "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium" and, though we felt the ending was a bit abrupt, we loved it.

There was something that really stuck out to me in the midst of it, particularly after such a hard day. On the tombstone of one of the characters, one of the phrases that was used to describe him was "aficionado of wonder". I fell in love with that phrase.

I want to be an aficionado of wonder. A connoisseur if you will. One who revels in the moments of child-like delight and joy. In colors and sounds and simple things. I want to live a life marked by a sense of wonder.

I wasn't sure what kind of day today would be, particularly given the way yesterday went. Yesterday ended better than I'd expected. Time with T. was calming and brought some joy, but I just couldn't be sure.

So, I popped an emerald (a current favorite) stud into my nose. Put on a favorite t-shirt and jeans, and a funky white scarf, and headed out.

I went to the zoo with a good friend. We laughed and talked and took hundreds of photos between the two of us. (I took about 120, and she took about 180) She'd spent three weeks in Australia, and I'd spent a weekend in Ontario since we were last together. We both had stories ripe for sharing.

After several hours at the zoo, we headed downtown to China town, wandered there for a while, and then landed ourselves in a little, slowly becoming dilapidated, was once the jewel of downtown, mall called Eau Claire Market. Eau Claire Market has a very fun store run by some Tibetan's, and full of beautiful clothing, jewelry and merchandise from Nepal and Tibet. And, they were having a clearance sale. Two racks of very fun clothes - one item for $15, or two items for $20. I bought a truly unique and beautiful top, and a skirt.

But not just any skirt. A twirling skirt. I've had my eye out for a twirling skirt for quite a number of years now. A while back, whenever I'd talk with Jesus about freedom in my life, He'd show me this picture of myself wearing a beautiful skirt, twirling freely in a field. Spinning and dancing and full of joy. I've never found a skirt suited. I've never been in a mental and emotional and spiritual space that was free enough for twirling. But I think that place is coming soon, and I've stepped up my search for the perfect skirt recently. I bought it today. And, to make it truly fun, there are tiny bells attached to the hem of the skirt. It tinkles as I walk.

I want to be free. And I want to live the life of one who is an aficionado of wonder and joy.

I want to find wonder and joy in the simplest of moments. In strawberries, and laughing with a friend. In the abundance of tropical flowers we saw in the gardens at the zoo today, and the brilliant coloring of the peacocks that wander the grounds. In good deals at the bakery in Chinatown, and a wildly multi-colored skirt with tiny mirrors embroidered onto it and little silver bells hanging from the hem. In simple but delicious food, and a chocolate bar for dessert. In chats and phone calls with friends. In hugs. In praying with my baby brother, and in painting my toenails.

I want to life a full, rich life. To have it said of me after I die that "She was an aficionado of wonder."

This is one of my favorite flower shots from today:
For today at least, I'm in a little better space, full of wonder and joy, and maybe even peace. And for that I'm deeply grateful.

Random Wednesday Thoughts

I went to bed about an hour and half earlier than normal last night, because I was falling asleep on the couch, watching an episode of the West Wing on dvd. I thought perhaps going to bed early would allow me to catch up on the sleep I so rarely get. Nope. Woke up earlier, and more often. But, I am feeling slightly more rested than other days this week.

Just as a random thought, the flight I’m taking on Friday will be the first time I’ve ever flown domestically. I’ve flown internationally quite a number of times, but I’ve never made a domestic flight. How weird is that?

I’m wearing a sapphire in my nose today. Sparkly, rich, deep blue, whenever I care to glance down. I’m definitely liking the sapphire, though maybe not quite as much as I liked the emerald I wore yesterday.

My spine is really painful today. I feel a bit like a hunch-back. Like there’s a lump right in the middle of it, all twisted around, and it aches. I’ve tried stretching, and sitting differently, but so far, it’s not helping. I guess I’ll put a heat pack on it tonight when I get home and see if that does the trick.

I’m thinking about pine needles a lot lately. Finding little object lessons in them. I’ll write some of those down at some point.

I’m wearing knee-socks today. With my skirt. Can I just say that my outfit would be cuter without the knee socks? But, it’s not quite warm enough to just walk with bare legs, so I have knee socks on. Black ones, that are not obviously knee socks. They could, in fact, be tights. (But take my word for it – they’re not tights).

I have really yummy leftovers for lunch today. I brought them yesterday, but ended up skipping lunch because I was feeling far too ill to eat. So, today I’m eating strips of sirloin beef, cooked in a balsamic vinaigrette, and roasted herbed baby potatoes.

Smile List - June 4 Edition

Things Making Me Smile

My baby brother, T.’s, facebook status last night read “T. is getting calluses again.” This is fantastic news. It means that he’s been able to begin playing his guitar again after nearly two years. It means that the last surgery, the one earlier this spring where they shortened one of the bones in his wrist, seems to have been successful.

On Friday a collection of 10 different nose studs that I ordered online arrived in the mail. I got a great deal on them, and I’m quite enjoying having a rainbow of colors at my easy disposal.

We are looking at a house that seems to be a good possibility for the three of us (and fits our varied criteria) tomorrow night.

It wasn’t raining for my commute in to work this morning, so I arrived warm and dry for a change.

I’m reading a quite fascinating book on the topic of treating addicts right now.

Because I’m taking a few days off of work to visit a dear friend, I only have today and tomorrow left in the office. AND, next week will also be a short week.

A much anticipated visit with a dear friend.

A breakfast date with my best friend M., on Friday morning.

Animal Crackers.

Fresh apricots.

Canned peaches.

My current purse, which is a canvas bag with an Andy Warhol print of a campbell’s soup can on the front of it. (A $5 purchase the last time I hung out with Rae).

Skirt weather. I love wearing skirts.

Water. I really love water. Drinking it. Being in it. Being near a body of it.

The overflow of company in our house ends at the end of this week. I’ve loved having people stay with us, but I’ll be glad when things quiet down a little, especially since we now need to start thinking about packing for our impending move. My roommate has promised me “no more company” for the remainder of June.

A quiet day at the office yesterday, with much time to think and pray.

Things to do at the office today and tomorrow, to make the last two days for the week go more quickly.

Before 8 am and Into the Day

These are the things I accomplished prior to 8:00 this morning (apparently you can be productive if you get up when you can no longer sleep):

• shower
• shave my legs
• read 20 pages or so of a novel
• french braid my hair into two braids
• moisturize

These are some of the things I'm going (or hoping) to do the rest of today:

• clean off my desk
• fold clean laundry from a week ago and put it away
• prepare a Sunday school lesson for tomorrow
• pack for an overnight trip I'm taking with my roommate and a friend tomorrow night
• cook something (anything really!)
  
• hang with some friends
• go with my roommate to get her nose pierced
• clean our laundry room
• sweep the hallway/bathroom/kitchen/my bedroom
• chat on the phone with a couple friends
• buy a new shower curtain liner and hang it
• read
• do something creative
• go to the farmer's market
• buy wine for a couple of upcoming trips
• rehang our coat hooks by the front door
• go to the park
  

On the list...

Things I've got planned for today...

• trip to the mall with my roommate
• take in the recycling
  
• buy a new nose stud (probably emerald in color)
• buy or make a mother's day card
• bake banana bread
• pizza supper
• rent a movie
• clothing shopping
• go to the bottle depot and return the bottles we've collected for money
• do something creative
• take a long bath with nice smelling stuff in the water and read a good novel
• do a bit of writing
• maybe head for the park (if it stays sunny - or possibly in the rain - a walk in the rain sounds fun)
• pick up a ring my best friend didn't have time to pick up yesterday
• book a haircut appointment
• sweep my bedroom
• sip tea
• light candles
• reorganize our kitchen cupboards (I keep buying doubles of food items because I can't see what I own)
• spend time hanging out with Jesus (in the park, or in my favorite chair, even at the mall buying a new nose jewel)
• read something that stretches my brain a little
  

Purple Jewel

Would you believe me if I said that things got even harder only minutes after I wrote my last post last night?

I wouldn't have believed that they could.

But they did.

So.

This morning I was in need of a little encouragement. A little reminder that I am loved, that I am the daughter of the King.

I think you'll think I'm weird when I tell you what I'm doing to give myself that reminder. I'm comfortable with being weird. I just want to warn you that this may only be a reminder for me, and that you may not "get it"!

I changed the jewel in my nose piercing. To purple, the color of royalty. Because I need that reminder this morning. That my Abba is in control. That he loves me and will hold me. And a purple jewel in my nose is doing that for me!

Here is a very bad picture, taken on my macbook, in which you can sort of see the new jewel. You can also see the orange and purple in my new glasses very clearly. And my neck - well, the photo is not a particularly flattering angle for my neck, or any of the rest of me. So look at the jewel and the glasses.

Weeping and Longing

These days it seems I spend a lot of time weeping. I don't think I've occupied this sort of emotional space since the last year that I suffered from depression, when the desperation and longing to be set free was growing on a daily basis. When hope for that freedom seemed to diminish on an equally daily basis, in direct proportion to the growth of my longing for it. The further away the hope of release seemed, the more desperately I seemed to long for it.

I'm in that space again.

Let me be quick to say that I am not, in fact, depressed. But to an unschooled observer, my life these days must closely resemble what it looked like three years ago, as I longed to be freed from the darkness, that, over the course of seven years, had so consumed my life.

My nose piercing aches these days. While it certainly wasn't my intention five months ago, when I paid a stranger to put his finger in my nostril, drive a needle through the nostril, and fill the hole created by that needle with a jewel, it would seem that I paid to have a spiritual barometer of sorts punched directly into my face. It would seem that by making the decision, on the second anniversary of my healing from depression, to mark my freedom on my body in a visible way, I created a sort of measuring stick for that freedom. And so, in the moments when I feel most bound, in the moments when I am most keenly aware of my desperate need to be set free, my nose piercing aches, or even becomes infected.

And I spend a lot of time in tears, or close to tears, or just recovering from the most recent bout of tears. Last night a friend described new found freedoms in her life to me, and I wept. With joy that she has found that for which she has longed and wrestled. And with longing of my own, asking the Lord when my turn will come.

I long for release. For freedom from the graveclothes that bind. For life. To feel light and warmth on my face once again. And I find myself, in the midst of that longing, in the midst of begging the Lord for that freedom, asking for eyes that see, ears that hear, and a heart that understands, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of sharing in His suffering, and the joy that His redemption brings.

Some Random Facts About Me

I'm in an odd mood tonight, and am quite convinced of the fact that, if you are to continue reading this blog, and understand me, you must have the following vital (if random) pieces of information.

• I love popcorn (though I don't eat it nearly as often as I did when I lived with my parents.) I can easily eat a whole bag of the microwave variety by myself. Easily. This is an inherited trait from my mom's side of the family. They eat popcorn like no family I have ever seen. The popcorn bowl at my mom's house is a stainless steel number, that my dad purchased at an auto supply store (I think the actual declared purpose of this particular stainless steel bowl, according to the auto supply store, is as a drainage pan for changing your oil). It's well over a foot in diameter, and there is nothing that makes our family quite so happy as when mom fills the bowl with freshly popped corn (of the non-microwave variety) lightly buttered and salted, and hands out cereal bowls (which can then be refilled from the giant bowl) full of the product of her labors.
• I am absolutely, first and foremost a bookworm. I own probably 3000 books. When I purchased tenants insurance for my home, I had to make a special stipulation on the contents value of my belongings to include approximately 10,000 dollars worth of books.
• I own (and am very proud to own) a pin that reads "Reading is sexy." Someone once asked me if that meant that I was sexy because I read, or that a guy who reads is something I consider sexy. My answer? Yes.
• I am sentimental. Most of the things that lie around my space, and look like trash or trinkets have specific meanings. I am also terrible (generally speaking) at throwing things away. This means that my space can get slightly cluttered at times.
• I am hopelessly attached to the seasons of the church calendar, though I attend a church that generally pays only a very little bit of attention to the seasons of the calendar, marking instead the most high, holy days like Christmas and Easter.
• I get ridiculously excited at the prospects of being able to attend a good lecture. There is a possibility that I can go with my dad to attend a series of lectures on the life and theology of Dietrich Bonhoeffer next week. This is a thrilling concept to me.
• I would as a general rule much rather use email, or other electronic modes of communication, than pick up a telephone. There are certain people that are exceptions to this general rule.
• I am the oldest child, the only girl, and the shortest sibling.
• My baby brother dwarf's the other two of us.
• I do not generally dye my hair, preferring my natural color to those created in a salon. I do get red low-lights and blond hi-lights put in once a year or so. And I am currently contemplating a short, two-week, wash-out stint as a red-head - something I've done once before. Just as a little change of pace.
• I do not have a tattoo, but I really want one. I'm just working on finalizing the design with some artist friends.
• I do have a pierced nose - a tiny diamond-like stud in my right nostril. It took me a year to get permission from my office to have a piercing. I work for Mennonites. They can be a little up-tight about things like tattoos and piercings. I was finally granted permission with the comment that at least it was my nose. The nose was the least offensive of the possible facial piercings.
• Lately, I have cocooned myself in my own little world. I'm still recovering from and processing my travels. I'm mostly avoiding other human beings.
• Because I have cocooned myself, my social schedule is the emptiest and most life-giving it's been in ages. I'm kind of enjoying that.
• I find myself craving far more silence than usual, and slowness.
• I am looking more often for the deep things, and will avoid the things that don't suffice.
• I vote in every election, but don't generally have a strong opinion. I voted in a provincial election tonight. Mostly I vote out of duty.
  
• I have much stronger opinions about the American election process and candidates than I do about the Canadian process and candidates.
  
• I am a dual American and Canadian citizen, but, because I reside permanently in Canada, I vote in Canadian elections rather than American ones.
• I am working on some writing pieces for the blog that will have a great deal more substance, but really couldn't move forward on them until I gave you all of this random information.

Enjoy!

one week today

my nose itches. a lot. I just felt the need to share that with you. one week ago today I paid someone to poke a hole in it with a needle, and fill the hole with a jewel. it looks very cute (and by all accounts natural!)

(I'm in a strangely buoyant, joyful, funny mood - can you tell?)

Monday (again)

It’s Monday again.

I’m listening to U2. “…sometimes you can’t make it on your own…” Feeling the deep truths in those words this morning.

I’m chewing gum – trident mint in the dark blue package.

(little known fact – I can’t stand mint flavor in anything except gum and toothpaste.)

My nose is itchy. They say that means that it is beginning to heal.

The itchy nose is stretching my self-discipline. The guy who pierced it lectured me about how our fingers and hands are very dirty – teeming with bacteria and so forth. “Don’t touch the piercing – that’s how you get infections!” So I’m sitting her, crinkling my nose every so often, hoping to relieve the occasional itches in that fashion.

The day after I got the piercing, I crawled out of my sleeping bag at the friend’s house I was staying at, and stumble groggily across the hall to use the bathroom. As I looked in the mirror, I wondered, “What is that thing on my face?” And then it all came back to me.

(another little known fact – because of my extremely weird vision – nearsighted in one eye and far sighted in the other – a lazy eye and astigmatism – I can see my nose at all times in the corner of my line of vision. I can now see a tiny sparkling object in my nose at all times – thus making the nose piercing the perfect constant reminder of the redemption and healing of Jesus that I’ve received).

There’s a weird atmosphere going on in the building again today. Apparently an important meeting over the weekend went poorly, lots of airing of old grudges, lots of infighting. I heard the description and thought “This is why Christians have a bad reputation. Two perfectly respectable organizations, founded on Biblical principles, doing good works both here and abroad, and there is ridiculous infighting and bearing of grudges.” There’s a lot of hurt and anger in the air today. I’m glad I wasn’t at the meeting. It’s hard to bear just the results.

A good friend is moving back to Calgary. I’m glad. Tea dates are much easier to have when you live in the same province and city.

Plans are taking shape for at least a month abroad early in the new year.

U2 is playing because I once again feel as if I’m fighting through something. U2 makes me feel as if I might just make it to the other side of the fight.

I need to get back to a routine of stretching, breathing, lighting candles and incense and slowing down.

I need to sit with a journal and sort out some thoughts, feelings, prayers from the weekend.

I need to go to the store where I purchased my camera last week and get the price adjusted.

I need to arrange a phone call with a dear friend sometime this week.

I need to sit with my budget, and figure out how long exactly I can afford to spend abroad in the new year while still covering the rent at my home here.

I need to do some prep work for hosting 24 hours of prayer in my living room this coming weekend.

I need to remember to breathe.