Semester Re-entry

It's been lovely to take some time away from this space.  To focus simply on resting, and accomplishing the myriad of things that don't get tackled when school is in session.

To be honest, though, I'm not sure what coming back to this space is going to look like.  I'm still thinking and praying about what structure will work best for this space in the coming months, and about what sort of structure will work with my school schedule.

You see, this semester is the one in this program that has the reputation of being the most intensely challenging.  This is the moment where, after eight months of telling us we essentially aren't allowed to get near patients, they suddenly throw us in head first, and expect us to, well, know things!

My placement this semester is in the hospital that is the furthest away from where I live in the city, and I'll be rotating, two days a week, every other week, between day and evening shifts.

In the meantime, I also have two full days (8am-5pm) of on campus class time, and several hundred pages of assigned reading per week.  Plus assignments.  I piled my textbooks up the other day and took the picture that you can see here.  That is 9 inches of dense reading. (Actually, there are two other books, not shown, for a total of an extra couple inches).  Topics like pharmacology, physical assessment, and pathophysiology don't make for light reading.  It's going to be a school heavy kind of semester.

In the midst of that, I'll be continuing my part time job as a care aide, continuing to lead a small house church, and juggling all the stuff of day to day life.

And somewhere in there, this space, still so important to me, fits in.  I just haven't quite figured out how yet.  Other than the Daily 5, which will continue, I hope to be here between 2 and 3 times a week.  I know that I want to continue with Whimsical Wednesday, and that I'd like to continue writing posts 1 or 2 times a week, and that I want it to have some sort of regular schedule and rhythm to it, but I haven't figured out what that will look like yet.

A lot is riding on how this first week of school goes.  On how the kinks of placements and transportation and reading and life pan out.  On answers that will be gained in the coming days.

So, in the meantime, just know that I'm planning to be back here more often, and that if you're reading this on Monday, when it goes live, and it's between the hours of 8 in the morning and 5 in the afternoon (mountain time), I'm probably in class, getting some of the answers that will let me establish a rhythm to my life, and that once I have those answers, and have sorted out that rhythm, I'll let you know, and be back here on some sort of more consistent basis.

Regularly Scheduled Programming...

I'm taking this week off from the regularly scheduled posts around here (other than the Daily 5, of course). I might be here, I might not.

I have a bunch of last minute details to take care of this week.

And the need to embrace some quiet and rest as I plan and contemplate the year ahead.

So the regularly scheduled programming?  It'll return next week.  And I'll be here when I have time, or the inclination to this week.  And every night for the daily 5.

See you when we resume the regularly scheduled stuff!

Switching Things Up

I'm changing things up in this space again.

For the last several months on Tuesdays and Thursdays this space has either hosted "You Ask, I Answer" or "If..."  At the moment, I'm out of "You Ask, I Answer" questions, and honestly, I'm bored with the "If..." questions.  I loved the "If..." book for conversation, but found many of the questions too inflexible or too personal to answer in this space.  I wasn't having any fun answering them, so I'm shelving the series for the moment.

In the meantime, I've missed writing about whatever I feel like in this space, instead of maintaining regular series.  So, for the next while, starting on Thursday, you can expect me to talk about whatever I feel like talking about on every day except Wednesday.  On Wednesdays you can still look for Whimsical Wednesday, because I'm still loving that!

Yay for new things!  Can't wait to see what we end up talking about in this space!

I Meant To Write a Post

I meant to write a post for today.  One of the many on a list I've been keeping.

And then, well, time got away from me.

Instead of writing I was eating cheese melted in wine with tasty stuff added, and chocolate mixed with coconut milk at a fondue birthday party.

Instead of writing I did an overdue load of laundry.

Instead of writing I sat and made conversations, and helped in the kitchen.

Instead of writing I watched a bit of TV on DVD that made me laugh.

And now it's Monday (or Sunday night, rather, since I'm writing this quickly before heading to bed!) and I don't have the time or energy to write something all profound like.  So... Check back.  I'm switching some things up again this week.  Because I can, you know... and because I want this space to fit me, and I think the changes will help with that all over again.

So check back.  I'll be back tomorrow.  I promise!

New Things in Bloggy Land

I've got a few new regular features that you can expect here on the blog.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays (starting last week, and continuing later this morning) you can expect regular installments of "You Ask, I Answer".  I'll keep doing them for as long as I have questions, so keep the questions coming!

On Wednesdays, I'm going to introduce a new feature that I'm going to call "Whimsical Wednesdays".  It'll be a collection of images and fun things from around the web that have caught my eye and provided creative inspiration.  Probably a lot of them will be from pinterest, since it's been a great source of creative visual inspiration for me lately.

And of course, you can continue to expect the usual unscheduled smattering of my ramblings, and the Daily 5 each night. 

Looking forward to interacting with all of you and hoping that you'll love these new features!

I Need Your Help

Okay everyone, either tomorrow or Wednesday I'm planning to start posting answers to some of the questions you left for me.  But, here's the problem.  I need a fun name for this series.  And I'm drawing a blank.  So, I need some help. 

What should we call it?

Six Years

Today marks six years since this space was born.

I'd been writing a little bit online, in a space that the church community I was a part of at the time had established.  This space was born when a very good friend of mine traveled to Sri Lanka to do tsunami relief, and established a blog.  I wanted to comment on his posts, and couldn't do so without a blogger account of my own, so I signed up.

The idea of my own space online was intriguing.  I loved the church space where I'd been journaling, but was struggling with feeling like the things that I wrote there all needed to be about my faith, or about God, and I just wanted a space to talk about whatever it was that happened to be on my mind in a given moment.

Six years later, I show up here an average of twice a day, with whatever I'm thinking about.

The writing has changed, I think, over the years.

I can say with great certainty that thanks to some events in my personal life, some traveling, and relationships, I've been more cautious over the last three years in what I've shared.

A year and a half ago the Daily 5 was born, and that changed the writing, too.

Because of this space I've made friends across North America and the world.  Some of them I've even had the chance to connect with in my offline life.

Yes, I sometimes censor my thoughts here more than I did six years ago - the caution of a couple encounters with people "stalking" this space is a reality for me.

But this is still the first space in which I want to talk about my day, about what I'm thinking about, what I'm reading, what I'm feeling and experiencing.  It's still the spot where I process.

And, as I continue to heal, my plan is to move backwards, to be able to share a bit more openly, to in some ways reclaim this bit of internet that has been mine for the last six years.

Thank you all for reading, for journeying, for commenting and emailing and dialoguing with me.  Thanks for making this a fun place for me to show up.  Here's to the next six years!

New Month

It's March.  The second day of March.  How did it already get to be March?

I've been home from my vacation for several days, and I find I'm struggling to find words for this space, beyond the nightly Daily 5 posts.

That happens almost every time I go away.

I come back and find that silence has spread from an imposition of timing to a general silence of thoughts made for public space.

It seems that creating space for silence somehow imposes it more broadly.

And, honestly, this week is busy, and creating the time to write this week has been a bit challenging too.

It's a full, full week that is kicking off this new month.

A week with appointments, a couple of midterm exams, and a whole day scheduled out of town with a very dear friend who is rarely on the same continent as me.

Once I hit the weekend, I'm committed to getting back into the swing of blogging.  To getting some posts written and scheduled to go live.

Until then, though, it'll probably still be quiet around here (unless, of course, inspiration strikes!)

The Top November Posts

Just for the heck of it, these were the most visited posts on my blog in the month of November:

• Musical Meme
• Authentic Not Just in the Past Tense
• Waiting With Patience - Henri Nouwen
• He Loves Me
• First Advent
• Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 102
• Thursday in Rome
• Thanksgiving
• Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 104
• The Virtue of Flexibility

Maybe it's Just a Season

I feel like I've been writing boring things here.

Quizzes, links, that sort of thing.

Very little personal narrative.

It's because I'm feeling a bit wordless these days.

I write in a number of forums, both public and private, and I just kind of feel wordless.

Not exactly numb, but lacking words that fit around the spaces my body and soul are occupying.

And so I'm posting "boring" things.

I'm thinking a lot about Anne Jackson's book and website "Permission to Speak Freely" these days.  About how that question, "What's one thing you can't say in church?" and Anne's story impacted me when I read it in early September.  Partly because I've walked some of her story.  The addiction pieces, the mental health pieces, the pastor's kid pieces - all of these are things I'm rather intimately familiar with.

Last night I jotted my own answer to that question on a slip of paper.  I may even drop it in the mail.

But in the meantime, the process of journeying through that is leaving me feeling at a loss for words.

So I write "fluffy" posts with quizzes and links.  Nothing I think might stir controversy, because I don't have the mental energy to separate criticism of my position from criticism of me right now.  I started writing a post in my head that I thought might generate discussion, and stopped, because I wondered if it would stir controversy I'd rather not wade through right now.  Fluffy posts, and daily 5 lists.  Lists that are sometimes a desperate grab for sanity, and sometimes just a genuine reflection of things in my day that brightened it, brought smiles and laughter, and gratefulness.

I think it's probably just a season, this wordlessness.  I pray so at least.  I'll be back.  And in the meantime, pardon the fluffy.  It's all I have energy for most days.

Go pick up Anne Jackson's book in the meantime.  You won't regret the read.