New Month

It's March.  The second day of March.  How did it already get to be March?

I've been home from my vacation for several days, and I find I'm struggling to find words for this space, beyond the nightly Daily 5 posts.

That happens almost every time I go away.

I come back and find that silence has spread from an imposition of timing to a general silence of thoughts made for public space.

It seems that creating space for silence somehow imposes it more broadly.

And, honestly, this week is busy, and creating the time to write this week has been a bit challenging too.

It's a full, full week that is kicking off this new month.

A week with appointments, a couple of midterm exams, and a whole day scheduled out of town with a very dear friend who is rarely on the same continent as me.

Once I hit the weekend, I'm committed to getting back into the swing of blogging.  To getting some posts written and scheduled to go live.

Until then, though, it'll probably still be quiet around here (unless, of course, inspiration strikes!)

Homeward Bound

In a couple hours I'll be getting on a plane, bound for home.

I'll be at my parent's place for the weekend, meaning, I suppose, depending on your definition, and mine is odd and ever changing, that I'll be truly home on Monday night.

Classes start again with a vengeance on Monday, and I'm mentally starting to gear up for that a bit.

It has been good to have some breathing room, to be away from the crazy realities of my day to day life, to hang out with friends, get hugs from a baby, watch some favorite movies, and rest a bit.

I have a list of things to accomplish this weekend that is, well, long. (Though most of them are relatively painless and can be done while sitting or reclining in bed.)

I plan to maintain the attitude of rest through the weekend.  I still feel the need for that.  It just might have to be a more active form of rest.

Sometime in the next several days I'll have the chance to see one of my favorite people in the world, my former roommate, L.  She'll be in Calgary for a visit for the next couple weeks, and while we have plans to spend a full day together late next week doing decadent things in the mountains, (afternoon tea service at a beautiful, historic hotel anyone?) I'm hoping to see her sometime before that day as well.

Tomorrow morning I'm going to take my first yoga class in a week and a half.  I expect my body will be protesting that on Sunday, but I think it will be worth it to round out my week of rest by stretching and resting.  I'm looking forward to the warm room and the peaceful nature of the class.

But for now, I'm catching up on a few things online, and chatting with my friend, across the table, and getting ready for my flight.  It looks like a clear (though very cold) day, and that should make for a beautiful view flying back across the mountains.  I'm not one of those people who has anxiety when flying - I actually love to fly, and always want a window seat, so that I can see what we're flying over

Resting

I'm on vacation, away from home for a week.

If it's quiet around here, that's why.  I left yesterday, and quite frankly, didn't have the energy before I left to do what I usually do and take time to schedule posts for the days I'll be away.

I'll be here every night for the daily 5, and maybe even in between some days, but I need to rest, and I'm giving myself permission to not push to have something to say here every day if I just don't feel like I have anything to say.

So, I'll see you for the daily 5's and I'll see you at the end of the week.

If you're the praying sort, please pray for this time away to be refreshing.  After a hard year, I'm rather deeply in need of some rest, and I'm excited to have this brief break in the class schedule that has allowed me to escape my city for a bit and be with friends.  So, please pray for rest and healing and restoration.  Thanks all!

Past the mid-way point

I'm laying in bed in the home of my friend in California and pondering.

For the last hour, my friend Karla's "Chair and Microphone" album has been playing softly through my headphones.  Her music is the stuff I often turn to first in the moments when I need to think and pray and process life a bit.  My heart hears Jesus when she sings.

Sometime last night, or in the wee hours of this morning, drifting in and out of semi-restless sleep and dreams, I hit the realization that comes for me with every trip - the realization of being past the half-way point of this escape.  That the days remaining are growing fewer.  The realization that a return to the harder realities of day to day existence are coming, and soon.  That what comes next - the healing to come, the things to deal with, the waiting on school acceptance, the looking for a job, seem exhausting and overwhelming and sometimes even terrifying.

And really, I want to cocoon forever in the escape place (wherever it is, whichever vacation it is), full of laughter and hugs and friends who know all the messy stuff and want to hug on me and love me anyhow.  I think about the community around me at home and long for that place of openness to come.  I grow impatient with the reminder that there isn't history there yet, and that day to day life doesn't tend to hold room for the hours and hours of intense conversation that escapes have.

And so, I pause to consider the coming day, with Karla singing quietly in the background.  To ready my heart for the things it holds, but also to bask in it, to draw sweet memories and moments to hold to when the end of the escape comes and reality returns.  To have things to remind me of hope in the harder moments that are bound to come.  Because that was the point of escaping anyway - to get away from reality for a few days and rest and prepare for the coming of new realities.

Vacation

Early this morning, probably before this post ever goes live, I left for vacation.

I'm spending the next week in California, visiting with a dear friend who became a friend thanks to this blog.

And I can't wait to finally "meet" at the airport.  We decided (though we know things about each other that some family members probably don't know, and have been corresponding at least several times a week for a couple of years now) that the most fun thing when people ask how we met would be to use some version of "we met at the airport, yesterday..."

I'm looking forward to all the conversations that will be so much better over tea, held face to face, than they would ever be by email or an online chat.  And I'm looking forward to checking out her favorite places to escape, too!

The blog will be quieter this week while I'm enjoying my chance to get away.  I'll see you on the other end!