J + R = Wedding!

Last Saturday my middle brother, J, married R, in a ceremony and reception perfectly suited to their personalities as individuals and as a couple.

True to form, they were surrounded by friends (6 attendants a side), loads of family and well-wishers, and one "flower boy".

You see, J quite seriously felt that he should be able to get married while wearing a panda costume.  His sense of humor is like that.  The need to interject a great deal of laughter into every situation is just who he has always been.  When R informed him that a panda suit was not acceptable, he proposed the compromise of a flower boy.  Lest you conjure an image of a small boy throwing rose petals, let me assure you that was what J had in mind was for our 23 year old cousin, M, complete with a mustache, tiara and flower adorned suspenders to fulfill the role.

And fill it he did!  He entered the church to the song from The Lion King that starts the video below, and "delicately" threw rose petals down the aisle as he made his way into the church amidst much laughter.  It was easily my favorite part of the day, simply for the way the laughter and the crazyness of the moment so perfectly reflected the qualities that come to mind when I think of J and R.




They topped their day off with an awesome reception, fun speeches (including a laughter filled one from our baby brother T, who served as best man), and a dance that kicked off with a live band, led by T.  Around 10 pm, as they danced the night away, they arranged for a huge delivery of pizza, to curb the late night hunger caused by hours of dancing.  The party wound down in the wee hours of the morning, when we finally turned the music off to finish the clean-up for the evening.

Other highlights for me included the chance to participate in their ceremony by reading scripture, watching J's face as he caught sight of R entering the church, the looks on my mom's face as she watched her son get married, and the moment during the ceremony, which my dad was officiating, in which dad choked up and spoke through tears as he described both the blessings and challenges of marriage.  Knowing the many things my parents have walked through together in the last 33 years, that moment is especially poignant.

All in all it was a fun way to celebrate a marriage, and I wanted to take the time to tell you about it here.  You can find an awesome preview from the professional photographers, Scott and Jaime Gage )who are both extremely talented photographers as well as dear friends of J & R) here.

I also wanted to share a few of the photos I took, but blogger seems to be temperamental today, so I'll have to share those with you some time next week!  Make sure to check, since I definitely have some fun shots of most of my favorite moments, including the flower "man" as he preferred to be called!

Saturday Thoughts

Yesterday was the feast of St. Monica, and today is the feast of her son, St. Augustine.  There was something striking to me in closeness of the dates of the two feasts when I observed them this year.  Something striking in celebrating the feast of a mother who prayed for years for her wayward son the day before celebrating the feast of the wayward son, turned remarkable theologian and church father.  There is something in that reminder of the faithfulness of Monica's prayers that gives me hope for prayers that seem hopeless today.    Something in the reminder that God delights in drawing the least likely to himself, and binding up and restoring the most unexpected things and people.  There are a lot of "least likely" things that I'm praying for these days, and the closeness of the two feasts, the reminder of the faithful prayers of a mother brought hope today.

In a few hours I'm off to attend the wedding ceremony of a friend.  F. has been a friend for a very long time, and the her life and her family's life have been in upheaval in the last year.  Two weeks ago, after a journey of about a year, her family was told that her mother's cancer is no longer treatable.  That the only thing that will stop death now is a miracle.  I'm thankful that the wedding will happen today, while her mother is still relatively well.  And I'm praying for a miracle.  But also recognizing that this day, for their family, will probably hold bittersweet memories.  And I'm praying that sweet will overwhelm the bitter.

And, in the meantime, I'm resting, puttering, catching up on little things that were put off all week while I studied.  I'm thinking and praying and processing.  I'm looking forward, and pausing to reflect backwards as well.  It's going to be a good day, I think.  One of those full of emotion, bitter, sweet, whole gamut of life kind of days.  And I'm grateful for that, and for the growing ability to embrace that.

Exhausted

I'm tired this morning, and not feeling well.

My mouth aches.  I have two enormous canker sores inside of it.  I get them a few times a year, with no apparent rhyme or reason, though rarely do I get two at once.  In this case, they picked Friday to flare.  And they're bad.  My lip is swollen on one side, not so much on the other.

Sleep was kind of non-existent last night, in that way it sometimes is when you've been overstimulated for too long and your body and brain just can't shut down.  Three very long days of being with people were overstimulating for this introvert, and last night I paid for it with a lack of sleep.

I'm thinking this morning about an odd dream I woke from yesterday morning, before the wedding.  A dream in which my grandpa made an appearance.  That was something new and different.

I'm thinking about my brother's face as he looked into his bride's eyes yesterday and made vows.

I'm thinking about how we don't live in a culture that necessarily believes in permanence of vows.

But mostly I'm just tired.

Spent, emotionally and physically.

Happy to have been a part of such a special celebration.

And entirely relieved that it has come to an end.

That today can be about the mundane stuff of getting through a day at work, nursing a cold and my aching mouth.  About stopping at the library to pick up a new audio book, and starting at my finances.

That it only has one wedding related thing on the agenda, and that thing will be quick, and will include a hug from my mom.

I'm also immensely glad that I am only working four days this week, and that then I get a break.  I'll be staying at my parent's house, keeping an eye on things while they're out of town for several days.  And I'll be off work for most of the time I'll be there, allowing me to rest and relax, away from the stresses of my life at Grandma's.

I'm exhausted, but grateful today.

Daily 5 - Day 276

I think today's list is going to be wedding themed.  Mostly because, well, my baby brother got married today, and provided me with the sister I spent years asking my parents for.

Today's Daily 5:

1. Watching T.'s face as L walked up the aisle
2. T's face as he was looking at L and making her vows.  I was standing at the perfect angle to see this, and it totally wrecked my resolve not to cry at the wedding.  One look at that face and I was a goner.
3. So much laughter
4. The divine providence of the photographer's assistant having sunscreen with her.  I totally forgot to even think of that, and it was a really sunny day and my dress left a lot of skin exposed to the elements.  I did still burn, but not nearly as badly as I would have without sunscreen.
5. J's speech at the reception.
6. lots of hugs
7. new friends
8. a beautiful sunny day that came off well
9. really good food
10. I can now officially say that I have a sister-in-law!

Full Day

By the time this post goes live on Sunday morning, I'll already be at the bride's house.  There will be hours of hair and makeup to get all of us ready for the ceremony, and then a very full day.

Sometime late tomorrow night (tonight, I guess, by the time you read this) I'll be back with a daily 5.

In between, it'll be quiet here.

My baby brother is getting married.  And, while I'm a little tired of wedding details, and will be glad when normal life returns, for this day I'm going to celebrate the marriage of my baby brother to the girl who is about to become the first of the sisters I always wanted and never got.

I'm going to wear a short purple dress that makes me look vaguely as if I'm with child.  I'm going to catch my aunt's eye and we'll giggle a little over the jokes we were making about how I'll be the single older sister everyone wonders just a little about, especially since my dress does make me look a bit pregnant.

I'm going to absorb the changes to our family slowly.

I'm going to celebrate this moment of newness even as I think and pray for others.  For some I know of who are struggling deeply in their marriages.  For others who are grieving the loss of loved ones.   I'm going to realize anew how cyclical and deep and interconnected life really is.

It will be a full and lovely and bittersweet and wonderful day, I hope.

Daily 5 - Day 275

Today's Daily 5:

1. 275 days of writing these lists
2. Hanging out with my aunt this afternoon, putting together the bouquets for tomorrow
3. laughing with the maid of honor at a bridesmaid gathering tonight
4. a hug from my mom
5. a ride to the bank
6. manicure and pedicure this morning
7. long hot shower
8. a few quieter hours with no wedding details or obligations
9. still pondering a good conversation I had with my dad yesterday
10. Sunshine

Daily 5 - Day 274

Today's Daily 5:

1. Wearing my twirling skirt
2. Sunny weather
3. a good conversation with my dad
4. laughing with one of the other bridesmaids at the rehearsal dinner
5. seeing T's smile

Daily 5 - Day 272

Today's Daily 5:

1. Sunshine
2. leftover Chinese take-out
3. getting out of the office for a little while this afternoon to run an errand for work
4. finished reading another book
5. making huge progress (nearly done now, just a few final tweaks) on the wedding slideshow

Daily 5 - Day 270

Today's Daily 5:

1. 270 days of Daily 5 Lists
2. Had a treatment tonight with one of my natural health practitioners
3. Editing photos for the slideshow
4. A hug from and chat with my mom
5. Finished an audio book today (Committed).

It's definitely Monday

Today marks the beginning of what promises to be a crazy week.

This coming Sunday my baby brother will be married.  In the meantime, the entire extended family is consumed with wedding details, and tucking the stuff of day to day life in between the wedding details.

I had another weekend full of life curve balls.  As I jokingly pointed out to a friend in an email last night, I could probably make a killing off my blog, in advertising, and readers, if I was only anonymous, and able to share the crazyness that life has been throwing at me lately in a public place.

I've been getting messages in my tea, lately, too.  No, not that kind of message in my tea.  I mean that, with the brand of green tea I've been drinking for my weekday morning "warm me up" beverage has little inspirational messages printed on the paper tag attached to the tea bag.  They've been amusingly hard-hitting to various lessons I've been learning lately.  Today's reminded me "You only give when you love."

I woke up this morning with a brutal head ache.  Thankfully, the drugs I swallowed before I even turned on the lights seem to be making some headway.

I'm wearing my wedding shoes around the office today (and probably several more days this week.)  I'm a little afraid of what will happen if I don't wear them for a whole lot of days, and then I have to wear them for ten or twelve straight hours on Sunday.

I have a list of blog posts planned, but finding time to write them this week will be the challenge.  I want to talk a bit more about Sara Miles' "Jesus Freak" and a bit about the newest book that booksneeze.com sent me to review.  I'm really enjoying this one "I am Hutterite" - it's a fascinating account, and is reviving my hope in Thomas Nelson - a hope that had been rather dented by the slogging necessary for a reading of "A Hole in Our Gospel".  I want to talk again about Donald Miller's "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years", too.

But this week might be a week for purging my inbox of built-up quotes and various thoughts from Henri Nouwen.  I have a wedding slideshow to tackle, and some wedding errands to do.  A few personal obligations and some church obligations as well.

So, we'll play it by ear.

Which, at this moment, is all I can manage.  Because it definitely feels like a Monday.

Saturday Things

I started the morning lazily and slowly, laying awake in bed, puttering on my computer and watching some television online for several hours.

Fruit for breakfast.  Raspberries and Blackberries.

A shower.

Some self-pampering.

Then mom picked me up, I helped with a bit of baking for the upcoming wedding.

I started the process of shortening a pair of pants.

I remembered why I haven't shortened pants myself in well over a year, and why I prefer to pay someone else to do it.

I remembered that I don't like ironing either.

(And I haven't even gotten to the hand-stitching part of the hemming process.  That's the part I like the least.)

I cobbled together a costume for L's bachelorette party tonight.

Have I ever mentioned here that I am NOT a fan of games?  Any games really.

Particularly role-playing or acting type games.

Or really anything that requires me to wear a costume and draw attention to myself.

I'll happily watch others play, but please don't make me play.

(Except maybe Dutch Blitz, and one or two word games.  I don't mind those.)

We're doing a role-playing, acting, murder mystery game for the bachelorette, because she loves those sorts of games.

And I'm playing the role of a man.

Perfect.

(Can you feel my misery at the prospect?)

At least I get dinner at a restaurant I really enjoy out of the process.

Being in a wedding party, I've decided, is an expensive endeavor.

There are so many more gifts and clothes that must be purchased and parties that must be attended.

I did however try a new "instant" lunch that I'd purchased a while back.

Thai peanut rice noodles.

Very tasty, but could use some vegetables.

I'll add those next time for effect.

I also took photos of photos.

Scanning them didn't work out so well, so I photographed about 70 childhood photos of T and L.

Tomorrow and the remainder of the evenings that I'm free until their wedding will be dedicated to putting those photos and quite a lot of others into a slideshow for their wedding reception.

And with that, I'm off to find something to snack on, and maybe do a little bit of reading before I dive head-long into the unique "joys" of this evening's plans.

I'll be back later with a daily 5 list!

Daily 5 - Day 262

Today's Daily 5:

1. Loving having my calendar, to do list, and shopping list all available at the tap of an icon on my new iphone
2. Today was about wedding stuff - I spent the afternoon working with two of T & L's friends to pull together some pictures for a slideshow for at their reception.  Now I just need to scan some of those photos, and order and sort the others into something fun.  But it was a much more fun afternoon than I was expecting, to look through photos.
3. Today was also the final practice session for my wedding hair.  It's all still pinned up at the moment.  I really like what the girl who is doing our hair (who is also one of the bridesmaids) came up with for my hair.  
4. Freshly washed sheets on my bed.
5. The smell of candles that were lit all around my bedroom tonight.

On my mind

This, will, I promise, be an entirely random collection of things that I'm currently thinking about.

• I'm wearing my "twirling skirt" today.  Because it just seemed like just the right outfit for today.  And because yesterday I felt like dancing.  This skirt always makes me want to dance.  And it's colorful and happy, so that helps too.
• My life for the next three weeks is rapidly becoming consumed with wedding details as T & L's big day draws closer.  They asked me to help out with another task last night - this time coordinating the slideshow for their wedding reception.  I was happy to agree, but as I was staring at my calendar, I was left trying to figure out where on earth the stuff of daily life is supposed to fit in as I navigate some medical appointments scheduled months ago, long before T & L's engagement, some appointments for the wedding - hair and so forth, and the just general busyness that comes from working full time and trying to be involved in a church community.
• All this wedding stuff is throwing me for a loop, too.  Much like when I was living in the midst of wedding central last year, I'm finding it far more challening to be content with my own single status.  And that's saying something, because I've got to be the most happily single person I've ever met.  But sometimes, all this wedding stuff can just make you lonely.  Don't get me wrong - I'd love to meet a guy and get married.  But loneliness is not something that's mostly on my radar.  At least not that kind of loneliness.  Lately, though, it has been a bit more.
• I'm working through my dislike of change, too, and being challenged by what's appearing in my life, in part because of this wedding.  Because this is a positive change in the life of our family.  It's a gain, not a loss.  And yet, I find myself having a hard time, sometimes, with the incredible way the face of our family will change with the marriage of the first sibling.  And I find myself challenged by how resistant I am feeling internally towards this change.  Especially since it's a change I'm in so many ways delighted by.  One that I know is not a negative thing.  It's odd to see my fears surfacing in this way.
• I'm debating whether or not I'll be able to attend an upcoming retreat with the house churches I'm a part of.  I really want to go.  The topic is one that I'd love to participate in.  But the retreat is the weekend right before the wedding.  And it's also over Mother's Day.  And with my various wedding related responsibilites, and the addition of Mother's Day, I'm kind of feeling like I need to hang out in Calgary instead of going away.  And while I know that that won't be wasted time, it makes me just a little bit grumpy to set aside what I really want for the sake of my family.  (Boy, this post is making me sound like a selfish jerk.)
• I'm still trying to navigate a very difficult living situation as well.  Life at Grandma's is incredibly challenging, and inconsistent, and that means that I am fighting in a huge way to find my place of rest internally, and not have it tied to a place or thing.  At the same time, I really miss some of the freedoms of having my own apartment.  Freedoms in cooking and cleaning.  And especially the freedom to invite friends over and feed them.  I'm sure that Grandma would be fine with me doing this, but I'm also certain that it would be a very bad idea.  Cooking a nice meal is a real challenge, and we'd need to eat it upstairs, as my space downstairs wouldn't accomodate eating or visiting.  And eating upstairs is a problem, because Grandma is there.  I love my grandmother, but she's the most nosy, talkative person on the planet, and having a genuine conversation with a friend in her presence would be impossible.

So, those are the things I'm thinking about today, among others, anyway.

Life feels big and crazy these days.  Not necessarily overwhelming, but like it's spinning fast, and bordering on out of control.  Like one of those jugglers who's doing really well and then, well, he adds that one last ball and drops everything.  I keep wondering what the last ball will be.

And in the midst of this I'm trying to let Jesus teach me lessons of peace.  Of really seeing people.  Of living joyfully.  Of resting, even in the midst of the storms.  They're pretty challenging lessons, to go with a pretty challening life.

Daily 5 - Day 235

Today's Daily 5:

1. Easter
2. Watching T. conduct the choir at church this morning.
3. Laughing over girly wedding related stuff with my sister in law to be, aunt, mom, and J's girlfriend tonight
4. Getting complimented on the asparagus that I made for the big family dinner
5. Grandma's mocha icing.

Daily 5 - Day 233

Today's Daily 5:

1. Made it to a church service this morning (even if it was a bit odd for a Good Friday service)
2. Made both of my two new recipes a month for April today (great news, since this will be a busy month!)
3. Home made hot-crossed buns
4. Some news from a very dear friend
5. Got my wedding shoes in the mail, and they fit and will work with the dress, I think.

Daily 5 - Day 224

Today's Daily 5:

1. Having someone play with my hair for a lengthy period of time tonight.  I love that feeling.  (We were doing practice hair for the wedding, so the girl who is going to do all of our hair was practicing on mine tonight.)
2. Chinese food for supper
3. Bought a really cute pair of brown kitten heels
4. Had fun shopping for wedding shoes, though they're turning out to be a bit harder to find than I thought they would
5. Wednesday is over.  Only two days until the weekend.

Daily 5 - Day 219

Today's Daily 5:

1. Safe driving - 6 hours of it on my own - to and from my meeting
2. The meeting was really great - I love the girl who is my counterpart at the hotel, and it'll be great to work closely with her in the next few weeks to pull this thing off.
3. Mom picked me up from the rental car place, so I didn't have to haul my meeting stuff through a half hour walk, and then an hour on the train.
4. Evening with L., her baby sister in from out of town to visit, and her maid of honor, talking bridesmaidy stuff.  I really wasn't sure what to expect, especially after a long and very tiring day, but it was lots of fun to laugh with them tonight.
5. Something so great about just collapsing into your own comfortable bed after a very long day.  I've been laying here so comfortably, just catching up on all the blogs I follow, and tonight it feels so good to do that.

Wednesday Afternoon Thoughts

This day, much like yesterday, is dragging.

Maybe it's that I'm tired.  Or simply distracted by the many whirling fields that comprise my life right now.

But I can't focus.

Almost at all.

And today, my shoulder is throbbing.

I'm wondering if it should still hurt like this, two weeks after the accident, when it was assessed as having no major damage?

Today chococlate is not only a good friend, but a necessity.

And yet, I'm thankful.

My dad just called, and he is in the area, and offered me a ride home from work tonight.

A break from the train will be nice.

And, tonight I'm going shopping with T & L and the rest of their local bridal party members.  Finding bridesmaid dresses for all of us is on the agenda for the evening, and knowing T & L, and some of the other bridal party members, laughter will the first order of business.  I'm also fairly confident that good taste will rule the day.  Wasn't it sweet of my brother to find me a sister who won't dress me in some unfortunate shade like puce, in an attempt to shine more brightly herself?

And with that, I'm off to finish the last few tasks for the day.

And remind myself continually that I can be thankful for a ride home, and family that loves me.

Even when my shoulder throbs uncontrollably.