Easter Monday thoughts

It's Easter Monday and I'm at the office alone.  We're technically closed today, but I had a lot to do, and decided to work for at least a portion of today, and earn some lieu time for later.  It's actually kind of nice to be here alone.  It's so quiet, no phones ringing.  I'm wearing jeans, and have worship music playing.  It's maybe one of the more peaceful places I've been in a while (ironic if you know much about the drama that often consumes my workplace.)

If I'm honest, Easter felt disappointing.

I wanted it to be some triumphant overcoming thing.  To bring some dramatic shift in a number of things in my life that are really challenging at the moment.  To bring change.  Instead, it was quiet.  A celebration of resurrection, to be sure, but no tangible change, not even in hope.  A day that ended up draining what little energy reserves I had remaining, so that, by the end of the evening, all I could think was how badly I wanted a hug, and how badly I wanted to live closer to a dear friend, and just let her hold me while I sobbed out all the stress and exhaustion.

So, this morning I'll start again.

Fight again.

For hope.

And joy.

And thankfulness.

Because even after pushing for that for months and months, it doesn't seem easy most days.

I'll start by enjoying the quiet here at the office.

And the fact that I am legitimately away from the tensions of my living situation. 

And the fact that though I'm working extra hours, I'll receive equal hours sometime in the future, at a time when others will be working.

And the wearing of jeans.

And my cup of passion tea.

And with that, I'm off to tackle the first on the longish list of tasks that I came here to accomplish today.

Daily 5 - Day 235

Today's Daily 5:

1. Easter
2. Watching T. conduct the choir at church this morning.
3. Laughing over girly wedding related stuff with my sister in law to be, aunt, mom, and J's girlfriend tonight
4. Getting complimented on the asparagus that I made for the big family dinner
5. Grandma's mocha icing.

Resurrection!

Resurrection: Rob Bell from The Work of Rob Bell on Vimeo.

I saw this late last night, and thought it perfect for my blog on Easter Sunday.

May you all know the deep blessing of the resurrection today and in the coming year!

Daily 5 - Day 234

Today's Daily 5:

1. 234 days of this.  Mostly because 234 is a fun number to say and to type.
2. Found simple but pretty boxes on sale at Ikea for storing all my old journals in.  I'd been wanting to take them off of my bookshelves and out of public view, and this seems the perfect solution.
3. Spent the day mostly with family.
4. Sharing a smile via e-chat with a very dear friend as she described briefly the special events of her day
5. Doing errands on my own this morning, with a borrowed car.  Being able to do simple things, alone, and in my own timing is something precious right now.
6. Bought a few new TV on DVD seasons, looking forward to watching them in the background in coming weeks and months while I work and putter in the evenings
7. Holy Saturday.  Quiet and waiting and preparing.
8. filtered water
9. hints of hope, found in a night that held a few hours of sleep
10. got a subscription to watch sermons and worship sets online live or archived from a church I'd love to visit someday.

The In-Between Day

Holy Saturday.

The inbetween day. 

Jesus still laying in the tomb.

The disciples cloistered in a room, terrified.

~~~

I think about that day a lot.

That in-between day.

Waking to the reality that the Master was dead.

Without the hope we have on this side of 2000 years.

Just nothingness.

Waiting and wondering if they will be next.

They hadn't exactly been circumspect about their following, after all.

The women perhaps preparing, quietly.  Readying for the early morning trip to the tomb.

Readying to anoint the body.

~~~

This day feels like that to me.

Quiet preparations for the celebrations that come tomorrow.


And waiting.


For what, I'm not precisely sure.


For resurrection, I guess.


New life.


Healing and hope.


Rest and peace.


And so I wait.