Reverb 11 - August

The Reverb prompt for August is:

Describe an unexpected moment, activity, sighting or conversation that touched you during July.

Hmm... July seems far away already, since August is now more than half-way through.

In July I unexpectedly connected with a newcomer to my city, while taking the bus.  We chatted for a length of time, and exchanged phone numbers.  In the couple weeks since, we haven't been in touch, but maybe that will change.

What caught me off guard was that we connected at all.  I'm not usually all that willing to engage strangers in conversation (especially on transit, after a whole collection of crazy experiences), but we'd boarded the bus together, from the place we were both working (she was a permanent employee at the place I was temping) and courtesy dictated at least a bit of conversation.  Oddly, I took it farther, asking all about her, her background and family, where she is from, how long she'd been in my city, and in Canada in general. 

I don't know if we'll ever connect again.  Maybe we will, maybe we won't.  But it's a moment that stands out.  One where a different part of me than usual took over, listening to an inner prompting to engage where I would normally retreat, and listening to that prompting voice led to a fascinating conversation, and many prayerful thoughts.  It was definitely a moment that touched my soul in new ways.

Reverb 11 - July

The Reverb prompt for July is as follows:

What new thing will you try this month?

Well... I'm going to try temping for the first time in July.   Starting Wednesday as a matter of fact.

I'll do what I almost always do, and make some new food.

I'll get a new zoo pass.

And I've started wearing a new pair of glasses.

We'll start something new at house church this month too, or at least pray and decide what new thing to start.

I have a few new craft and creative projects to try.

I try to make a practice of doing small new things regularly.  It's a way to combat fear, to make little changes, to fight back against that anxiety that comes with change and all things new.  To have dozens of little new things that weren't scary to remember in the face of the larger and perhaps fear carrying new things.

Reverb 11 - June

The June Reverb Prompt is:

What can you let yourself off the hook for?

Hmm... An interesting question to ask half-way through the year.


I think the answer for me is "expectations."


In my year of "heal", I've already talked about the fact that it looks nothing like what I expected.  I think it may be a simpler second half of the year if I release myself from my own expectations and timeline.  If I can simply take the days as they come.  If I can live more peacefully within that space.

I think the other half of that is choosing to release myself from expectations of others - whether they're real, or simply something I perceive and take on myself.  To choose to live freely in my own body, meeting my needs and caring for and loving myself.  To be okay with the things that make me different - the things that make me uniquely me.

Reverb 11 - May

The May Reverb Prompt is:

If you participated in Reverb 10 during December of last year, are any of the things you wanted to manifest in 2011 revealing themselves?

Well, the big thing that I was hoping would manifest is healing.

And I think it is, though, as usual, it looks nothing like what I'd expected.

It has looked like decisions I never expected to make, and a semester of school I'd preferred to have avoided.  It has looked like long conversations, changes in relationships, and even stepping into a few things I was certain I wasn't ready for, but that God has asked for.

And it has looked like a million little things that can't be named or shared.

But it is happening.  It just looks different than I thought it might.

Reverb 11 - April

The Reverb Prompt for April is the following question:


What's blossoming?

Well, it's early April, and I live in Western Canada, so trees are not yet budding, and the only flowers that are blooming live indoors.

But I think I'm blossoming, maybe just a little, in this year where my one word is "heal".

I made more decisions this week.  Decisions I would have deemed impossible a year ago.  Decisions to care for myself and my heart, to give that priority.

I started a job.  A job that seems to fit me well.  No pushy sales.  No big corporate structure.  Lots of handmade, natural products to help people feel pampered and cared for.  Friendly people.  The only downside so far is that it involves using really big knives.  Knives scare me.

I'm learning that I am more capable than I feel, and that I really CAN juggle all the spheres of my life and be happy.  April is going to be a month that will test that theory, as I juggle work, school, church and personal obligations.  I'm tired already, and it's only a week in, but things are getting done when they need to be.  And, at the end of this month, the juggling will get easier as school ends for a bit.

I feel like I'm becoming free in new ways.

It's pretty much a messy, wild thing. 

One that still requires a lot of healing (it is, after all, my word for the year).

But one that is blossoming within the quiet spaces of my heart.

One that grows as I make daily 5 lists, and make choices to care for myself.

There is joy blossoming as the sun tries to make an appearance and bring growth and color and life.

Emerging newness.

And I love it.

Reverb 11 - March

Some of you will remember that for the month of December I participated in a daily blogging project called Reverb10.

So, here's the monthly prompt for Reverb 11 - March:

If March 2011 was your last month to live, how would you live it?

If March 2011 was my last month to live, (and money was somehow suddenly no object, and health wasn't confining me), I'd travel.  I'd visit Morocco, and Europe and Peru and probably Disney Land.  I'd find some place with palm trees and sun, and stay there.  And I'd do it with friends and loved ones - making memories that would last for them well-beyond the end of my life.

But, if money was a problem, and health was confining, I'd simply invite all those loved ones to come to me.  I would quite honestly spend my days having the important conversations.  Making sure that the people I love deeply, the ones who have positively impacted my life, know it.  I'd spend my time laughing, and eating great food, and probably crying.  I'd talk with Jesus a lot as I prepared to meet him face to face.  I'd write letters to those loved ones, to leave behind.  I'd probably write a lot more of my story down on paper, so that it would last beyond me.

I'm not all that fussed about life ending, and most days, I try to live fully even now.  But, I suppose that if I knew the end was coming, I'd soak up even more of life, I'd pour out more love.  I'd laugh and cry and eat just about whatever I wanted.  And, to quote a lyric penned by Carolyn Arends and performed by Steve Bell, I'd spend time "getting ready for glory."

Reverb 11!

Remember Reverb 10, all through December?  I got an email with a prompt from them the other day.  Once a month over the course of 2011, there will be a prompt coming my way to help me stop to pause and reflect.

This is the new prompt for February:

One month into 2011, what question(s) are you living? Are there any prompts/questions that arose during #reverb10 that are still resonating in your life? Are you living new questions?

So much of reverb10 has played into this new year, particularly as I've chosen my "one word" of heal.

The posts from reverb10 that continue to stand out to me are these three:

• Day One - One Word - the post in which I inadvertently, a month ahead of time,  went with my gut instinct and named the word that I wanted to define 2011.
• Day Eleven - 11 Things I Could Live Without - to be honest, I remember this as being one of the hardest, but also most fun posts to write.  I like the list I came up with, and some of the little things from that list have very much shaped the little personal steps I'm taking towards healing in this new year. 
• Day Eighteen: Try - the list of things I wanted to try in this new year.  I've actually made progress on some of them.  Yoga, for example - I've fallen in love with yoga.  

These are the posts that are still resonating.  The ones that I think about when I stop for a minute to consider this year that is only a month old.  I'm looking forward to this year, however hard it has already been.  I'm curious to see what healing comes, and how it comes.  I'm looking forward to living the things I named in those posts - and living without the ones that I also named!