Tuesday, June 02, 2009

At a loss for words...

I can't even begin to explain what the four days that encompass Saturday through this evening have contained. I mean, I know I said I was feeling discombobulated, but really, I can't even begin to describe the immensity of the things that those four days have held.

And, they haven't stopped, even at night. My dreams have been full and intense again as well, and coming with increasing regularity.

All that to say that just in this moment, I'm pretty exhausted.

It's one of those rare moments where I really just want to call my mom, just to hear her voice, even knowing that I'd probably burst into tears at the sound of it, for no apparent reason whatsoever. But, my mom is on the other side of the planet just at the moment, so I'll be settling for a journal, and some chocolate.

I feel like I've been moving non-stop for four straight days, from one emotionally draining thing to another.

The truth is that I was so sick yesterday that I spent a good part of the day sleeping.

And that I spent a good part of Sunday doing very little (though to be fair, that was somewhat emotionally draining, as a good part of that time was spent journaling and processing the wild events of last week.)

I'm thankful for an evening off tomorrow night, and thinking I may just ignore the myriad of things on my "to do" list for a night, and simply rest. (Or perhaps make a trip to "my" park to pray and walk and think.)

My heart is tired, and could use a little bit of restorative time with Jesus (whether at home or the park...)

And, in the interests of my own health, I have a few emails to write, and then my plan is to be in bed EARLY (for me at least).

Tomorrow is Wednesday, and somehow, those always take a lot of energy.

BUT, I do have one piece of good news! I have a place to live at the end of the month, with a landlord who seems great. In a location that's convenient for both my roommate and I. In a quiet building near a lovely old park. And it looks like we'll be able to move in a bit before the first of July, which would be so helpful in terms of our stress levels, and not needing to take time off of work to move, since our other roommate is getting married on July 4th, and we'll have to travel to another city for that as well.