It was a very long day.
Very full.
Some very hard things. Some very good things.
Moments that were definitely explosive at work. Just glad when that was over.
I'm going to bed.
I'll start again tomorrow.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Sleep and Aramaic
Here are two news stories that caught my attention this morning.
According to this article, I should be sleeping beautifully. I'm female, single, childless, and am definitely in one of their lower income brackets. Somehow I don't think that the 3-5 hours of sleep I average a night is their definition of sleeping well.
And, in this article, you can read about the fact that Aramaic, the language of Jesus is still spoken in a small village in Syria. Fascinating stuff, really.
According to this article, I should be sleeping beautifully. I'm female, single, childless, and am definitely in one of their lower income brackets. Somehow I don't think that the 3-5 hours of sleep I average a night is their definition of sleeping well.
And, in this article, you can read about the fact that Aramaic, the language of Jesus is still spoken in a small village in Syria. Fascinating stuff, really.
I Am...
I am...
- not having as productive a day as I had yesterday
- working on silencing the catty "inner voice" comments about various office happenings, which make me laugh, but are probably unneccessarily cruel
- photocopying and assembling training manuals
- essentially getting paid to kill trees on Earth Day
- incessantly thirsty lately
- annoyed and frustrated by the ongoing winter conditions - it's nearly the end of April!
- so glad to have a massage scheduled for later this week.
- wearing a minimum of two layers on all parts of my body
- very tired
- nibbling on grapes and crackers, and hoping my stomach will keep them down (it hasn't kept much down lately)
- loving the reminders of joy that this photo of myself is bringing, in the midst of some dark spaces
- in desperate need of spring
Monday, April 21, 2008
Relatively Productive
I’m having a relatively productive day.
Is it terrible if I say that this is at least in part due to the absence of two other staff members from the office today?
One in particular tends to make my days bog down in interruptions, because everything on her agenda must come first. This wouldn’t be a problem if she was my superior, or if I worked directly for her. But I don’t. I am the receptionist for the entire company, and the administrative assistant for four managers. I don’t have the time to bow to every whim of her agenda.
She is also extremely difficult to work with. As one co-worker rather colorfully and accurately described it recently, “When I’m around her I feel like she’s the bowling ball and I’m the pins.”
She was out of the office ill on Friday, and had car trouble that prevented her from coming in today.
Because of this, I’m having a much more peaceful and productive day than usual.
It’s definitely a nice change.
Is it terrible if I say that this is at least in part due to the absence of two other staff members from the office today?
One in particular tends to make my days bog down in interruptions, because everything on her agenda must come first. This wouldn’t be a problem if she was my superior, or if I worked directly for her. But I don’t. I am the receptionist for the entire company, and the administrative assistant for four managers. I don’t have the time to bow to every whim of her agenda.
She is also extremely difficult to work with. As one co-worker rather colorfully and accurately described it recently, “When I’m around her I feel like she’s the bowling ball and I’m the pins.”
She was out of the office ill on Friday, and had car trouble that prevented her from coming in today.
Because of this, I’m having a much more peaceful and productive day than usual.
It’s definitely a nice change.
Freedom Attracts & Healing Contradictions - Henri Nouwen
More great thoughts from Henri Nouwen
Freedom Attracts
When you are interiorly free you call others to freedom, whether you know it or not. Freedom attracts wherever it appears. A free man or a free woman creates a space where others feel safe and want to dwell. Our world is so full of conditions, demands, requirements, and obligations that we often wonder what is expected of us. But when we meet a truly free person, there are no expectations, only an invitation to reach into ourselves and discover there our own freedom.
Where true inner freedom is, there is God. And where God is, there we want to be.
Healing Contradictions
The many contradictions in our lives - such as being home while feeling homeless, being busy while feeling bored, being popular while feeling lonely, being believers while feeling many doubts - can frustrate, irritate, and even discourage us. They make us feel that we are never fully present. Every door that opens for us makes us see how many more doors are closed.
But there is another response. These same contradictions can bring us into touch with a deeper longing, for the fulfillment of a desire that lives beneath all desires and that only God can satisfy. Contradictions, thus understood, create the friction that can help us move toward God.
Freedom Attracts
When you are interiorly free you call others to freedom, whether you know it or not. Freedom attracts wherever it appears. A free man or a free woman creates a space where others feel safe and want to dwell. Our world is so full of conditions, demands, requirements, and obligations that we often wonder what is expected of us. But when we meet a truly free person, there are no expectations, only an invitation to reach into ourselves and discover there our own freedom.
Where true inner freedom is, there is God. And where God is, there we want to be.
Healing Contradictions
The many contradictions in our lives - such as being home while feeling homeless, being busy while feeling bored, being popular while feeling lonely, being believers while feeling many doubts - can frustrate, irritate, and even discourage us. They make us feel that we are never fully present. Every door that opens for us makes us see how many more doors are closed.
But there is another response. These same contradictions can bring us into touch with a deeper longing, for the fulfillment of a desire that lives beneath all desires and that only God can satisfy. Contradictions, thus understood, create the friction that can help us move toward God.
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