Henri Nouwen on Hope

I like Henri's definition of hope.

Living with Hope

Optimism and hope are radically different attitudes. Optimism is the expectation that things-the weather, human relationships, the economy, the political situation, and so on-will get better. Hope is the trust that God will fulfill God's promises to us in a way that leads us to true freedom. The optimist speaks about concrete changes in the future. The person of hope lives in the moment with the knowledge and trust that all of life is in good hands.

All the great spiritual leaders in history were people of hope. Abraham, Moses, Ruth, Mary, Jesus, Rumi, Gandhi, and Dorothy Day all lived with a promise in their hearts that guided them toward the future without the need to know exactly what it would look like. Let's live with hope.

What healing looks like.

As I have so often lately, I feel a general tearing in the universe and within my own heart, and am working not to dissolve into tears.

I try to confine the daily (sometimes several times daily) crying jags to the moments when I am alone in my house, or alone in my car, or laying in bed praying for rest.

I'm tired. Bruised. Shattered.

I'm remembering.

I'm looking backwards. And forwards.

I was surprised to find, in the midst of a conversation last night, that some olds wounds have healed. Or mostly healed. And I was surprised at the ones that still sting.

I'm waiting. To see. To hear. To know. To be finished.

I'm praying. With my own words. And words I've borrowed.

For myself. And the nations. And especially those I love deeply.

I'm lonely. And reminding myself that I am not alone.

I'm feeling ugly and unworthy of love. But reminding myself that these too, are lies.

Maybe this is what healing looks like?

Borrowed Prayers

I am praying tonight with borrowed words.

Words and heart cries borrowed from a shepherd crowned king, but still buried in adversity.

Words borrowed from the songs of pilgrims on their way to Jerusalem.

A mish-mash of words, borrowed from Psalms 55, 56, and 126.

These are the prayers of my heart tonight.

Listen to my prayer, O God.
Do not ignore my cry for help!
Please listen and answer me,
for I am overwhelmed by my troubles.
My heart pounds in my chest.
The terror of death assaults me.
Fear and trembling overwhelm me,
and I can’t stop shaking.
Oh, that I had wings like a dove;
then I would fly away and rest!
I would fly far away
to the quiet of the wilderness.
How quickly I would escape—
far from this wild storm of hatred.

selah

It is not an enemy who taunts me—
I could bear that.
It is not my foes who so arrogantly insult me—
I could have hidden from them.
Instead, it is you—my equal,
my companion and close friend.
What good fellowship we once enjoyed
as we walked together to the house of God.

But I will call on God,
and the Lord will rescue me.
Morning, noon, and night
I cry out in my distress,
and the Lord hears my voice.
He ransoms me and keeps me safe
from the battle waged against me,
though many still oppose me.
God, who has ruled forever,
will hear me and humble them.

Selah

For my enemies refuse to change their ways;
they do not fear God.
As for my companion, he betrayed his friends;
he broke his promises.
His words are as smooth as butter,
but in his heart is war.
His words are as soothing as lotion,
but underneath are daggers!

O God, have mercy on me,
for people are hounding me.
My foes attack me all day long.
I am constantly hounded by those who slander me,
and many are boldly attacking me.
But when I am afraid,
I will put my trust in you.
I praise God for what he has promised.
I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?
What can mere mortals do to me?
They are always twisting what I say;
they spend their days plotting to harm me.

Selah

You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.
I praise God for what he has promised;
Yes, I praise the Lord for what he has promised.
I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?
What can mere mortals do to me?
I will fulfill my vows to you, O God,
and will offer a sacrifice of thanks for your help.
For you have rescued me from death;
you have kept my feet from slipping.
So now I can walk in your presence, O God,
in your life-giving light.
Restore our fortunes, Lord,
as streams renew the desert.
Those who plant in tears
will harvest with shouts of joy.
They weep as they go to plant their seed,
but they sing as they return with the harvest.

amen.

Hmm..

I need today to go well.

There are things happening today that I would really like to have go well.

But I'm peaceful at the moment, and for that I'm grateful.

I'm wearing my "alternate eyes" today. The more corporate and conservative ones instead of the usual purple and orange ones. When I bought two new sets of eyes last spring, I really thought it would be the conservative ones that I'd wear all the time. It isn't. I wear them maybe once a month. And today is that day.

I put an emerald in my nose today. I read somewhere that emeralds have long been a "symbol of hope". So today, in defiance of the odds, I'm choosing hope. And demonstrating it sneakily, with an emerald in my nose.

Building Inner Bridges

Another thought from Henri Nouwen that I found challenging

Building Inner Bridges

Prayer is the bridge between our conscious and unconscious lives. Often there is a large abyss between our thoughts, words, and actions, and the many images that emerge in our daydreams and night dreams. To pray is to connect these two sides of our lives by going to the place where God dwells. Prayer is "soul work" because our souls are those sacred centers where all is one and where God is with us in the most intimate way.

Thus, we must pray without ceasing so that we can become truly whole and holy.