Saturday Morning - Curled Up Thoughts

I'm curled up in bed still, wrapped in my robe, and buried under blankets.

I'm oddly reflective, after waking from a beautiful, disturbing, profoundly moving dream.

I went to my brother's Christmas concert last night, and actually enjoyed the music (after years of working in retail, I have a hard time enjoying Christmas music.)

I ran into a dear friend there, and we made tentative plans to get together again soon. It was wonderful to see her face and get a hug from her.

Her husband asked me where I was going to church these days. I told him that his wife and I had just been talking about that, and that I, like them, was somewhat in transition church-wise. He asked me if I wanted to come to their Spanish church. I said yes. He asked if I speak Spanish. I said no. His response made me laugh. "That's okay, it'll just all sound like crazy tongues to you then."

I wore a string of pearls to the concert. A gift from a dear friend, and heavy with reminders of her love. I felt so loved with them around my neck.

I'm laying here in bed, wrapped in my robe, and buried under blankets.

I'm surveying the shelves and shelves of books around my bedroom.

My books are like old friends. They bring comfort. I don't have many plans for today, so I think I'll spend the day with my old friends. Curled up (probably in a chair instead of bed) and reading and writing and thinking and praying.

I may put up my Christmas tree.

My roommates and I are thinking about cooking a nice dinner tonight. The plan was to make roast chicken. Except roasting chickens are expensive apparently. We can buy 2.5 pre-cooked rotisserie chickens for the same price as one uncooked roasting chicken. But we might buy the roasting chicken anyway. It'd be nice to cook it ourselves, with all the trimmings.

Which means I need to make a trip to a grocery store.

And I think I'll visit the library and borrow some cookbooks too. I could use some new inspiration for cooking. And the idea of curling up with pages and pages of scrumptious recipes for a while this afternoon appeals to me.

Happy Saturday!

Waiting, and the Body

More thoughts from Henri Nouwen. Eventually I'll write something of my own, but I'm busy thinking and praying and processing and waiting. Sorting things out in my own heart before I broadcast them to the world. In the meantime, enjoy the words of Henri!

Waiting in Expectation

Waiting patiently for God always includes joyful expectation. Without expectation our waiting can get bogged down in the present. When we wait in expectation our whole beings are open to be surprised by joy.

All through the Gospels Jesus tells us to keep awake and stay alert. And Paul says, "Brothers and sisters ... the moment is here for you to stop sleeping and wake up, because by now our salvation is nearer than when we first began to believe. The night is nearly over, daylight is on the way; so let us throw off everything that belongs to the darkness and equip ourselves for the light" (Romans 13:11-12). It is this joyful expectation of God's coming that offers vitality to our lives. The expectation of the fulfillment of God's promises to us is what allows us to pay full attention to the road on which we are walking.

Having Reverence and Respect for the Body

In so many ways we use and abuse our bodies. Jesus' coming to us in the body and his being lifted with his body in the glory of God call us to treat our bodies and the bodies of others with great reverence and respect.

God, through Jesus, has made our bodies sacred places where God has chosen to dwell. Our faith in the resurrection of the body, therefore, calls us to care for our own and one another's bodies with love. When we bind one another's wounds and work for the healing of one another's bodies, we witness to the sacredness of the human body, a body destined for eternal life.

Thursday

I have a general like of Thursdays.

They're typically busy, but not out of control at work.

They mean the weekend is nearly here.

They bring Grey's Anatomy (though tonight was a disappointing re-run due to American Thanksgiving).

Today was a good Thursday for the above reasons as well as:

• grocery shopping
• a yummy home-cooked dinner. Alfredo sauce with peas and bacon chunks in it, over bow-tie pasta.
• french-braided hair after a nice, hot shower (hot showers of more than two minutes being something I'm still grateful for after my trip to Malta early in the year)
  
• reading Jeremiah in the car, while waiting to pick my roommate up after work
• a fun conversation with a friend at work that made me laugh and laugh
• dried apple slices
• bottled water
• rose scented hand-cream
• tea lights
• being curled up in bed by 9pm, reading and writing and emailing

Okay. A bit of reading and such left to do, and then I'm going to bed - hopefully a bit early.

And, for you Americans, Happy Thanksgiving! I didn't get to celebrate, but it's fun to lay claim as a dual citizen to a second thanksgiving holiday.

You Don't Hear This One Very Often

I'm reading in Jeremiah these days, and came across a verse tonight that I find incredibly powerful. It's not one I've often (or ever) heard quoted, but one that I feel is rather important. It falls in the middle of a passage where the Lord is speaking of his disgust for the false prophets that have arisen in Israel, but seems to speak a bit more broadly (maybe just to me??) as well.

Jeremiah 23:35-36
You should keep asking each other, 'What is the Lord's answer?' or 'What is the Lord saying?' But stop using this phrase, 'prophecy from the Lord.' For people are using it to give authority to their own ideas, turning upside down the words of our God, the living God, the Lord of Heaven's Armies.

When to speak?

I'm having trouble today processing whether or not I need to give voice to certain things I've been thinking and praying about for the last day or two. Things seen and heard and understood.

I'm having broader trouble lately, struggling with questions I want to ask, and wondering whether or not to give them voice either.

Some of the topics are sensitive. They have the potential to create backlash - to stir things up that should perhaps be left undisturbed. And I'm not one to knowingly invite unneccessary backlash. I'll settle for a lack of understanding instead. I'm a big fan of safe, and calm, unless the direction is very clear to stir things.

Plus, I've been the unwitting victim at times when other people have walked without care, and created a maelstorm for those around them to be caught in. It makes me hesitate to create my own maelstorm.

And yet, I'm not sure the questions would create a stir. And I'm not certain how to gain understanding and experience without asking the questions. But, to be honest, I'm not even sure how to phrase the questions, as the topics are new and uncertain ones for me as well.

And for those things that have been seen and heard and understood, while I am very certain of what has been seen and heard, I'm less certain of the understanding, and the response that must flow out of understanding. And yet, I lack confidence in my own discernment, to speak these things beyond myself.

Oh bother. This cryptic phrasing of real issues doesn't work very well for me. I think I'll stop writing now.