Perspective

Someone asked me this morning why, if I hate my job so much, I don't just quit.

Here's the answer. I don't hate my job in general. I hate my job right now. I hate the stress. I hate the time crunch, and being the last person in line to receive the items, but the one who has to do the most to them to get them out the door. I hate being blamed for things I can't control, and being the punching bag for other people's stress. I hate my boss' current pushing of an attitude of "I will try my hardest to get that done" instead of "It won't be done today." I'm a realist - I will always try my hardest, but if I tell you it won't be done today, it probably won't be done today.

I have perspective. I know that in a week or two it will calm down around here again. I know that a month from tomorrow I will be getting on a plane to go to Malta for a month. I know that I will train a temp to do my job while I'm in Malta, and that I'll miss the busiest time of year for my job (with the exception of the next couple weeks). I know that, sometime in the spring or summer, when I make the next overseas trip, I won't have this job to come back to. That means this season is coming to an end, and I can stick it out (even when I really hate it) for the next while until the season really does end.

Liked this article...

It's been a while since I linked to any stories from my daily morning perusal of the news, but I came across this article on Rob Bell on the TIME magazine site this morning, and found it interesting, and thought I'd link to it for the rest of you!

The Hipper-Than-Thou Pastor

Tired...

I'm heading for bed. Or at least to read in bed.

I'm really tired. Weeks of sleeping only 4 or so hours most nights is catching up to me. Last night I stayed with some friends. I normally sleep well at their home for whatever reason - something I can't say about very many places. Last night wasn't unsettled, I just hardly slept.

I crashed for two hours on the couch this afternoon, and I'm still exhausted.

I did something to the muscles in my left shoulder and neck yesterday. They're painfully stiff. I'm laying with a magic bag draped behind me.

I'm dreading going back to work tomorrow. I feel guilty for dreading it, but I'm so done with the stress, and other's stress, and the negative emotions flying high, and having enough work for three people, when I'm only one person. I'm tired of being blamed for things that aren't my fault, and doing the work for a manager who has a staff, and for whom I don't even really work for.

I could use a week off.

This last while has been full of stressors. People stuff. Work stuff. Personal direction in life stuff. I could use a week where all that was on my agenda was laying on the beach with a really good book. Or laying on my couch with a really good book. Or laying in a bathtub with a really good book. (are you catching the theme here?)

This week, however, remains busy. Full of all the stressors. So, I'm choosing to trust - that Jesus walks with me and shields me. That I will survive (and possibly thrive). I'm choosing to be thankful for the beautiful things, and to try not to carry the ugly ones with me.

And I'm going to bed early.

Good night!

Sunday Afternoon

I drove home from Canmore this morning, stopped at my house long enough to change clothes, and headed for church. I taught Sunday school, stopped at the grocery store, and now I'm home.

Yesterday was great. I'm sure I'll write more about it at some point...

For today, I'm just relieved to be home, and on my couch. I'm tired.

I'm eating crackers, and leftover Chinese take out.

I've lit candles.

I'm watching Alpine skiing on the CBC.

I have four books within easy reach. 3 memoir type books, and a novel.

I'm planning a long, hot bath later this afternoon.

I may watch "Finding Neverland" (possibly in the style my dad spends Sunday afternoons - watching from behind my eyelids...)

I'm wearing sweats and wrapped in a blanket, propped against a couple pillows on the couch.

I'll eat a mandarin later, and maybe some cucumber and carrots.

I'm resting - enjoying Sabbath for a while.

feeling good

I feel good today. Amazing what not having the stress of knowing you have to go in to work does for a person.

I'm wearing my favorite bohemian top and my favorite jeans - the ones with just the tiniest spot on the left knee from an intimate moment of prayer and annointing with a dear friend. I did my new haircut by myself for the first time, and as much as I love the way my hairstylist flatirons it for me, I think I love this wavy/curly look more. I put on some makeup, and my favorite perfume, and I'm ready to head into the day.

I'm going to the mountains to spend the day with a good friend and her family. What better way is there to spend a day off?

See you around!