This has been an odd sort of day, full of pondering, spinning thoughts, a few tears, and just general exhaustion.
Not bad, just odd for what has been normal lately.
I've spent a lot of time lost in thought, just generally feeling disconnected from what's happening around me, while sort of lost in my internal landscape.
I'm thinking about travel.
About the future.
I'm listening and praying and and waiting.
I've done some homework in the midst of that, and I have a bit more left to do.
I'm making lists and plans.
I like practical steps.
I'm thinking about things I've been reading and listening to.
And just at this moment? I'm taking a break.
Since mom and dad are out for the evening, I'm taking advantage of the rare opportunity to watch The Amazing Race as it airs, instead of a day or two later.
I'm pausing to laugh at the sight of my favorite team, the cowboys Jett and Cord, saddling a yak in Kunming, China.
I'm watching as one team who is Chinese uses their heritage and language a bit to their advantage.
I'm resting in one of my favorite ways.
Showing posts with label practical. Show all posts
Showing posts with label practical. Show all posts
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Practical Thoughts
My heart is still uneasy. Tears are close to the surface, and my heart aches and prays and longs. (I'll probably write about that later.)
For the moment, though, here are some practical things:
I'm concerned about the fact that I need to get my roommate to the airport for 8:00 tonight. It took me nearly 2 hours to drive home yesterday (it normally takes 3o -40 minutes). If that happens tonight, we won't make it to the airport in time.
It's only been two weeks, but I'm already tired of the cold and snow. I am definitely (despite being born and raised in this ridiculous climate) a fair weather kind of lady.
As much as I hate public transit, if this weather keeps up, I might go back to taking the train. I'll drive to the train station and go from there. It's got to be better than sitting in stop and go traffic in the snow for 2 hours. (That said, the practical part of my brain is also reminding me of the many transit weather delays over the years.)
I'm exausted again. The weight of the things making my heart uneasy, and driving me to pray has been heavy again this week, and sleep has been even more fleeting than usual. Once I get home from the airport run tonight, I'm going straight to bed. Or at least to curl up in bed and do semi-relaxing things. Or maybe just to sit quietly in my candle lit bedroom and pray.
For the moment, though, here are some practical things:
I'm concerned about the fact that I need to get my roommate to the airport for 8:00 tonight. It took me nearly 2 hours to drive home yesterday (it normally takes 3o -40 minutes). If that happens tonight, we won't make it to the airport in time.
It's only been two weeks, but I'm already tired of the cold and snow. I am definitely (despite being born and raised in this ridiculous climate) a fair weather kind of lady.
As much as I hate public transit, if this weather keeps up, I might go back to taking the train. I'll drive to the train station and go from there. It's got to be better than sitting in stop and go traffic in the snow for 2 hours. (That said, the practical part of my brain is also reminding me of the many transit weather delays over the years.)
I'm exausted again. The weight of the things making my heart uneasy, and driving me to pray has been heavy again this week, and sleep has been even more fleeting than usual. Once I get home from the airport run tonight, I'm going straight to bed. Or at least to curl up in bed and do semi-relaxing things. Or maybe just to sit quietly in my candle lit bedroom and pray.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Surreal Becomes Overwhelming
At about 6:30 tonight I hit overload.
Some combination of loneliness, lack of sleep, lack of a place to belong, work and personal stress, laundry, and a clogged bathtub.
I've been in tears, or near tears ever since.
I've unclogged a bathtub (and can I just say that I could kiss whoever invented drano).
I've driven to do an errand, and had a desperate conversation with God while driving.
I've talked (briefly) with a dear friend.
And now, now I'm going to attempt sleep. I'm going to fall asleep with a video of my favorite television show playing, and I'm going to pray that, just for one night, surreal will take a break.
Because I can deal with surreal, or I can deal with practical. But just at this moment I can't deal with both at once. I can't deal with dreams and relational stuff and God things, and still have energy left for laundry and making dinner and a clogged bathtub.
On nights like this I would normally call my best friend and laugh. I'd let intensity, and all that is surreal be put aside for an hour or two in favor of laughter (and possibly triple chocolate freezer cake), and her painting little tiny flowers on my toenails with a toothpick or a bobby pin. Because in a way that few others can, M. would understand why a clogged bathtub was just absolutely the last straw, and brought me to tears, and I would have moved heaven and earth to make sure it wasn't clogged anymore by the end of the night. (It isn't.)
But M. is in Pakistan, bringing babies into the world, and other than a few emails, I haven't talked with her since the beginning of September. So I settled for taking out my latent agression on a bathtub that was totally scummy after a week of slow draining. And then I took a shower. In a clean, unclogged bathtub.
And now, I'm going to try desperately to sleep. (Dreamlessly if I'm lucky.)
Some combination of loneliness, lack of sleep, lack of a place to belong, work and personal stress, laundry, and a clogged bathtub.
I've been in tears, or near tears ever since.
I've unclogged a bathtub (and can I just say that I could kiss whoever invented drano).
I've driven to do an errand, and had a desperate conversation with God while driving.
I've talked (briefly) with a dear friend.
And now, now I'm going to attempt sleep. I'm going to fall asleep with a video of my favorite television show playing, and I'm going to pray that, just for one night, surreal will take a break.
Because I can deal with surreal, or I can deal with practical. But just at this moment I can't deal with both at once. I can't deal with dreams and relational stuff and God things, and still have energy left for laundry and making dinner and a clogged bathtub.
On nights like this I would normally call my best friend and laugh. I'd let intensity, and all that is surreal be put aside for an hour or two in favor of laughter (and possibly triple chocolate freezer cake), and her painting little tiny flowers on my toenails with a toothpick or a bobby pin. Because in a way that few others can, M. would understand why a clogged bathtub was just absolutely the last straw, and brought me to tears, and I would have moved heaven and earth to make sure it wasn't clogged anymore by the end of the night. (It isn't.)
But M. is in Pakistan, bringing babies into the world, and other than a few emails, I haven't talked with her since the beginning of September. So I settled for taking out my latent agression on a bathtub that was totally scummy after a week of slow draining. And then I took a shower. In a clean, unclogged bathtub.
And now, I'm going to try desperately to sleep. (Dreamlessly if I'm lucky.)
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Juxtaposed
My life, just at this moment, seems to be a bizarre juxtaposition of the completely surreal and the completely practical.
It seems my life has yet again been hijacked by Jesus. And that hijacking is resulting in some completely surreal experiences. (And a serious lack of sleep.)
On the other hand, there are some completely practical things consuming me as well.
Like the desperate need to do laundry (especially since I may be going away for the weekend again.)
Like the 125 dollars poorer I am after my laptop cable needed to be replaced tonight.
Like the library books that need to either be renewed or returned this week.
Like the recycling that needs to go to the bottle depot and is sitting in George's trunk just presently.
And a clogged bathtub drain. Does anyone know how to rectify a clogged bathtub drain without calling a plumber? Or, more practically yet, does anyone out there want to come over and fix my clogged bathtub drain for me (without calling a plumber??).
This is my juxtaposed, surreal, practical life (and despite the dozens of frustrations and wrestles in both of those categories, tonight I don't think I'd trade it.)
It seems my life has yet again been hijacked by Jesus. And that hijacking is resulting in some completely surreal experiences. (And a serious lack of sleep.)
On the other hand, there are some completely practical things consuming me as well.
Like the desperate need to do laundry (especially since I may be going away for the weekend again.)
Like the 125 dollars poorer I am after my laptop cable needed to be replaced tonight.
Like the library books that need to either be renewed or returned this week.
Like the recycling that needs to go to the bottle depot and is sitting in George's trunk just presently.
And a clogged bathtub drain. Does anyone know how to rectify a clogged bathtub drain without calling a plumber? Or, more practically yet, does anyone out there want to come over and fix my clogged bathtub drain for me (without calling a plumber??).
This is my juxtaposed, surreal, practical life (and despite the dozens of frustrations and wrestles in both of those categories, tonight I don't think I'd trade it.)
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