Dream House

I came across this image tonight on pinterest.  I think this is going to be the place I picture in my mind from now on, when I'm picturing the perfect safe and quiet place to escape to.  And of course, it's surrounded by palm trees.

Disneyland (California Part 5)

For nearly as long as I've known Lisa, I've known that she escapes to Disneyland in the same way that I escape to the Calgary Zoo to sit and visit with the gorillas.  She's also been telling me as long as we've been talking that Disneyland would be a must if I ever came to visit, and, once I actually booked plane tickets, I got a few emails telling me which specific day we would spend at Disneyland, based on her perusal of the Disney website and which rides would be open when.

I knew I'd absolutely enjoy spending a day at Lisa's favorite escape, but I'll admit here (and I admitted to her) that I was skeptical that a place known for people and crowds could actually be an escape for a more introverted, need time away from people, kind of person.  I just couldn't figure out how that would be an escape! 

It was!  It was a fantastic day, made all the more fun by Lisa's vast collection of knowledge about the park and how the "magic" actually happens.  I couldn't believe how time slid by, tried things I would have never tried if I wasn't with a friend I trusted, and generally had a great time.  I'll admit that when I closed my eyes that night, my dreams were spinning a little - as a first time experience it was perhaps almost overstimulating, but I'm eager to visit again and work past that feeling of overstimulation!

 The two of us together at the other Lisa's favorite escape.

 Hidden Mickey!

 Because the weather was - and the weather at home in Calgary that day involved snow!

 I was assured that one could not come to Disneyland for the first time and not meet Mickey.

 Because this cracked me up, and the sign somehow felt apropos for the state of my life lately!

 Mini Palm Tree, next to the miniature Agraba - Alladin's city.

This cracked me up, too.  This is a bird, in miniature London.  It gives a great sense of scale, no?

Home

I arrived back in Calgary late last night, and I'm currently holed up in the bedroom at my parent's house that I slept in (affectionately known as the "fishing room" based on it's use as the office for dad's fishing business when someone doesn't need the futon).  I'm waiting to see how long I can stay holed up before someone either checks to make sure I'm not ill, or suspects that I'm hiding and comes to find me.

I'll blog about the trip with some pictures and details in the next day or two.

This morning, though, I'm thankful for the time away I had (even if I'm wishing I'd extended it a bit longer...) I'm thankful for hours of conversation and laughter and hugs.  Because I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to hold onto those pretty tightly in the coming days.

So, in a few minutes I'll crawl out of bed.  I'll move into the day, and organize myself.  I'll miss the world where I could wear skirts without pants or tights underneath.

I'll be back daily with the daily 5, but even as the season of the year officially changes today to fall, I feel that shifting in my life again, too, and an urge to perhaps be quieter for a while, here.  (That said, it seems like every time I give myself the freedom not to write, I suddenly actually feel like I have things to share.  So, who knows!)

I'm grateful for escapes, and praying for a growing reality that will be less and less necessary to escape.

Trapped

Of all the things that stand out, as I look back over this crazy last week or so, here's the one thing that stands out the most.

My credit card was canceled this week.

Someone got my credit card number somehow, tried to charge some items that were over my limit, and mastercard security called me and canceled my card. I'll get a new card, sometime in the next week or so, but in the meantime, it's the temporary loss of the credit card that stands out to me.

Because I feel a bit trapped without it.

That little bit of space until my credit limit? That was my escape plan.

That was my "if things get really bad I'll just buy an airline ticket and run" plan.

Not that I would have run.

I tried the running from the things that weigh you down thing multiple times during the depression years. It never worked. You usually just end up alone, and scared, and without the support system that was making life somewhat liveable before you ran.

But not having an escape plan? That is making me feel trapped. Housebound. Stir-crazy.

It's making me feel like this space in life will never come to an end. It's terrifying me in some ways.

I feel trapped.

The rational part of my brain reminds me that credit is money that doesn't exist anyway. And that there is (a little) money in my bank account if I really needed to escape. And that really, in a few more days, I'll have a new credit card.

But in the meantime, I feel trapped in this spot. And wishing for an escape. (Even the non-running sort.)