From the Saturday edition of the calendar that sits on my desk:
"We can never have too much hope in God. He gives in the measure we ask." (Saint Therese of Lisieux)
I may possibly need to start asking for larger measures of hope again.
~~~
It was a very full weekend. In so many ways. And I find myself exhausted as I'm sitting here on Monday morning, facing another long week.
I have this tendency to forget just how much energy it takes for me to be around people these days. It's becoming quickly apparent that I'm going to have to make it a priority on an evening this week to escape to the park by myself for an hour or two, to walk and pray and simply be alone.
I'm missing church, too. A few weeks back I found a place that I think I want to attend regularly for a while. I'm not sure exactly what that looks like right now, but there was a certain prompting from God to at least consider this as a resting spot on the journey for a while. It was a surprising prompting, as the church was pretty much everything I wasn't looking for, or generally don't want in a church, and yet, God has met me there quite powerfully every time I've attended (6 or 8 times) in the last year and a bit. I wasn't able to attend this weekend for a variety of reasons, and I found myself regretting that as I drove to work this morning. Regretting that there hadn't been that corporate time of pausing for worship and teaching. I likely won't make it there next weekend either, and I'm regretting that as well.
I'm grocery shopping with my roommate tonight. At the life-sucking mega store. And it's not a small shop either. We're out of a number of staple items. I hate the life-sucking mega store. Give me smaller, tidier, and slightly more expensive any day of the week. Hopefully, because it's a week-night, it won't be terribly busy, they'll actually have items in stock, and we'll be able to get in and out relatively quickly.
The thoughts and processing in my head and heart are wild and swirly, below the surface and confusing. In much the way I'm praying our weather finally settles into a thunderstorm that clears and cools the air, I'm praying for either a calming or the explosion that brings calm in my heart as well. For that deep and quieting encounter with Jesus.
And now, now it's time to start to tackle my "to do" list for the week.
Monday, June 15, 2009
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