I find myself more worn out than usual today.
So I'm taking it slowly and gently.
I took myself grocery shopping this morning. Bought things like bread and cheese and fruit. Simple food. Staples.
I was joyful in the fact that the health food store had the item I was looking for. It means that I'll get some sleep for a few more months.
I got gas for George.
And discovered that something I'd thought my brother had broken has decided to work again. A sort of minor miracle that will save me some money unexpectedly. A little thing I'm thankful for.
Home and cleaning. Baking. Laundry. Resting. These are the things that have taken up the rest of the afternoon.
In a little while I'll shower, and dress up a bit. Put on make-up and feel beautiful. I'm working at a concert tonight. Spending some time with my brother and his girlfriend.
And then home and sleep. Work starts again tomorrow. Another long day. Other things on the agenda.
I'm trying to stay firm in a commitment to treat myself gently. To treat myself like I am worthy of care and being loved.
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Saturday, March 07, 2009
Lose an Hour
24 hours (almost exactly.)
1000 + kilometers of highway through very flat prairies on both sides of the border.
1 night in a cold hotel room.
1 visit to the "Great Falls" in Great Falls.
3 breakfast meals of varying quality at a fast food joint.
An attempt prior for a much nicer breakfast, but the restaurant had burnt down sometime previously.
1 visit to Target.
1 bright green long-sleeved t-shirt, on sale for 4 dollars, a St. Patrick's day special, adorned with the words "Kiss Me" and lots of shamrocks that will go straight to the PJ wear. (I love green, but I'm neither Irish, nor looking for people to kiss me just presently.)
2 border crossings.
1 surrendered, slightly mushy avocado.
A crowd of Mexican Mennonites.
Potato Chips.
Carrot sticks.
1 stop at Starbucks. 1 at Tim Horton's.
A long conversation about consistent ethics.
1 roommate with a visa and work permit for another year.
It was a long, somewhat tiring, but successful trip. Lots of laughter.
But now it's daylight savings' time, and I lose an hour of sleep. So, goodnight!
1000 + kilometers of highway through very flat prairies on both sides of the border.
1 night in a cold hotel room.
1 visit to the "Great Falls" in Great Falls.
3 breakfast meals of varying quality at a fast food joint.
An attempt prior for a much nicer breakfast, but the restaurant had burnt down sometime previously.
1 visit to Target.
1 bright green long-sleeved t-shirt, on sale for 4 dollars, a St. Patrick's day special, adorned with the words "Kiss Me" and lots of shamrocks that will go straight to the PJ wear. (I love green, but I'm neither Irish, nor looking for people to kiss me just presently.)
2 border crossings.
1 surrendered, slightly mushy avocado.
A crowd of Mexican Mennonites.
Potato Chips.
Carrot sticks.
1 stop at Starbucks. 1 at Tim Horton's.
A long conversation about consistent ethics.
1 roommate with a visa and work permit for another year.
It was a long, somewhat tiring, but successful trip. Lots of laughter.
But now it's daylight savings' time, and I lose an hour of sleep. So, goodnight!
Friday, March 06, 2009
Being Heard
I was reminded again this morning of the importance of being heard.
Work yesterday was enough to put me in a murderous raging kind of mood.
The first thing I did upon getting home (other than get dinner into the oven and started cooking) was to take a shower. I just felt slimy from the day I'd had and wanted nothing so much as to clean up and feel refreshed.
I think my roommates ask each night how my day has gone just because they know that there will always be a story that makes them laugh, and almost always a story that makes them grateful for their much "saner" jobs and coworkers.
After I commented on a particularly trying coworkers constant, just loud enough for me to have to hear, "ouches" and "ows" that have been filling my days this week, my roommate made a suggestion that made me laugh long and hard. She suggested that I start up a conversation at my desk with another coworker who is a good friend about how I've been reading in scripture lately about how I've been reading the book of Job recently, and I've been quite impressed with the way he suffered in silence! Or that we talk about how Jesus also suffered in silence! The memory of that comment has been buoying me and adding secret laughter all day.
Anyway, I arrived at the office this morning to discover that things had gotten worse, rather than better overnight.
Instant bad mood ensued, coming on the heels of a night where I'd slept even less than usual, and had dealt with several restless, emotional, and frightening dreams.
It's worse this week because I've been praying and trying harder than usual to be patient with this particular person and situation, but the last two days I hit my breaking point. My facebook status last night briefly read "Lisa mostly has the patience to deal with it, but sometimes contemplates justifiable homicide."
And then I was reminded of how nice it was to be heard. One long and very necessary conversation with my boss later, and I'm feeling better about the situation. Not entirely optimistic, because I've been down this road at least once a month for the last year, but encouraged that my boss at least is aware of what has been going on, and is nearly as frustrated with the lack of movement in the situation as I am.
So, here's hoping for better things in the coming weeks.
As for me, I'm celebrating that it's Friday and that means I'm wearing jeans at the office, and, that because of my quick overnight trip to Montana, I'm leaving the office an hour earlier than usual today (time I made up by coming in early two mornings this week, but still a fantastic thought after a trying week.) It's the weekend, and that's almost always worth smiling about!
Work yesterday was enough to put me in a murderous raging kind of mood.
The first thing I did upon getting home (other than get dinner into the oven and started cooking) was to take a shower. I just felt slimy from the day I'd had and wanted nothing so much as to clean up and feel refreshed.
I think my roommates ask each night how my day has gone just because they know that there will always be a story that makes them laugh, and almost always a story that makes them grateful for their much "saner" jobs and coworkers.
After I commented on a particularly trying coworkers constant, just loud enough for me to have to hear, "ouches" and "ows" that have been filling my days this week, my roommate made a suggestion that made me laugh long and hard. She suggested that I start up a conversation at my desk with another coworker who is a good friend about how I've been reading in scripture lately about how I've been reading the book of Job recently, and I've been quite impressed with the way he suffered in silence! Or that we talk about how Jesus also suffered in silence! The memory of that comment has been buoying me and adding secret laughter all day.
Anyway, I arrived at the office this morning to discover that things had gotten worse, rather than better overnight.
Instant bad mood ensued, coming on the heels of a night where I'd slept even less than usual, and had dealt with several restless, emotional, and frightening dreams.
It's worse this week because I've been praying and trying harder than usual to be patient with this particular person and situation, but the last two days I hit my breaking point. My facebook status last night briefly read "Lisa mostly has the patience to deal with it, but sometimes contemplates justifiable homicide."
And then I was reminded of how nice it was to be heard. One long and very necessary conversation with my boss later, and I'm feeling better about the situation. Not entirely optimistic, because I've been down this road at least once a month for the last year, but encouraged that my boss at least is aware of what has been going on, and is nearly as frustrated with the lack of movement in the situation as I am.
So, here's hoping for better things in the coming weeks.
As for me, I'm celebrating that it's Friday and that means I'm wearing jeans at the office, and, that because of my quick overnight trip to Montana, I'm leaving the office an hour earlier than usual today (time I made up by coming in early two mornings this week, but still a fantastic thought after a trying week.) It's the weekend, and that's almost always worth smiling about!
Henri on Hospitality
I was quite struck by this thought from Henri Nouwen today.
True Hospitality
Every good relationship between two or more people, whether it is friendship, marriage, or community, creates space where strangers can enter and become friends. Good relationships are hospitable. When we enter into a home and feel warmly welcomed, we will soon realise that the love among those who live in that home is what makes that welcome possible.
When there is conflict in the home, the guest is soon forced to choose sides. "Are you for him or for her?" "Do you agree with them or with us?" "Do you like him more than you do me?" These questions prevent true hospitality - that is, an opportunity for the stranger to feel safe and discover his or her own gifts. Hospitality is more than an expression of love for the guest. It is also and foremost an expression of love between the hosts.
True Hospitality
Every good relationship between two or more people, whether it is friendship, marriage, or community, creates space where strangers can enter and become friends. Good relationships are hospitable. When we enter into a home and feel warmly welcomed, we will soon realise that the love among those who live in that home is what makes that welcome possible.
When there is conflict in the home, the guest is soon forced to choose sides. "Are you for him or for her?" "Do you agree with them or with us?" "Do you like him more than you do me?" These questions prevent true hospitality - that is, an opportunity for the stranger to feel safe and discover his or her own gifts. Hospitality is more than an expression of love for the guest. It is also and foremost an expression of love between the hosts.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Heading Out....
The blog will be quiet for the next couple of days.
Right after work tomorrow I'm heading out for a fast 24 hour trip to Montana. One of my roommates needs to cross an international border to activate the extension on her work visa, and my dad and I are driving with her.
I'm both totally ecstatic that my dad decided to join us, and nervous as well. Our relationship hasn't always been the best (though I know with certainty that he loves me), and extended time together is always a bit of a challenge for my heart. On the other hand, I love that he's coming because I don't love driving, and ten hours of driving within the span of 24 hours would be a bit much. He loves to drive. And we're taking his vehicle, which is definitely more up to a long trip than George.
So, I'll be home sometime Saturday, depending on things like road conditions and length of time at the various border crossings. But I probably won't be back to blogging until Sunday or Monday. The hotel we're staying at has free wireless, but I've decided to leave my computer at home. I'll catch up with all of you on the other side!
Right after work tomorrow I'm heading out for a fast 24 hour trip to Montana. One of my roommates needs to cross an international border to activate the extension on her work visa, and my dad and I are driving with her.
I'm both totally ecstatic that my dad decided to join us, and nervous as well. Our relationship hasn't always been the best (though I know with certainty that he loves me), and extended time together is always a bit of a challenge for my heart. On the other hand, I love that he's coming because I don't love driving, and ten hours of driving within the span of 24 hours would be a bit much. He loves to drive. And we're taking his vehicle, which is definitely more up to a long trip than George.
So, I'll be home sometime Saturday, depending on things like road conditions and length of time at the various border crossings. But I probably won't be back to blogging until Sunday or Monday. The hotel we're staying at has free wireless, but I've decided to leave my computer at home. I'll catch up with all of you on the other side!
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